As long as the father takes care of the child, he can breathe? So does mom deserve it for her good job?

As long as the father takes care of the child, he can breathe? So does mom deserve it for her good job? When it comes to raising children, many wives decide to do it all by themselves, but they are also helpless, cultivating their husbands to "just leave it all to you!" "You are not satisfied anyway" and "there is nothing you can do, the child will only stick to you" Vicious cycle. But my wife was in the middle, anxious, angry and exhausted.

I still remember that not long after I gave birth to my child, after returning from maternity leave and returning to work, I met my best friend for dinner at a department store near my home for the first time. My husband patted his chest and told me to enjoy my time as a woman.

As a new father who is also trying to figure things out, my husband has the rosy expectation of being considerate to his wife but also enjoying being clingy to his daughter. Even when he is alone in a sling and carrying When I walked into the lactation room of the department store with my baby in my arms and wanted to help my baby make milk, I seemed to feel that my husband was also immersed in the atmosphere of admiration and admiration from others for him as a nursing dad. A scary scene

But as a mother of a child, everything doesn’t look so romantic.

When my friend and I were having dessert for dinner, my friend’s eyes suddenly widened. As my doubts turned around, we welcomed my handsome husband to the stage with his daughter in one hand.

"Wait, are you going out like this?" I asked my husband.

"Huh?" The gentleman looked confused.

"Where's the diaper?" "A small water bottle?" "There's no pacifier either?" I asked continuously.

"No, it only took ten minutes to walk here?" The husband was still puzzled.

"And then there is only one piece of clothing that covers your ass?" I kept stopping...

It was about nine o'clock in the evening, and I looked at my daughter's two naked little hams exposed. , suddenly, I was speechless for a moment and couldn't speak.

I instantly felt a lot of anxiety and uneasiness. When the child cries later, how should you comfort him? What should you do if your child poops? If you catch a cold when you go back, won't you be scolded by your elders again?

As for all the worries about the child, and my husband's seemingly nonchalant response, I gradually became angry: "You just want to go out by yourself for convenience, and the child will cry later. You didn’t just leave it all to me! You clearly promised me to have a leisurely dinner, but I obviously couldn’t play with my children at home anymore, so I hurriedly brought him out..."

Suddenly I can understand those descriptions of mothers as "angry". The husband becomes the eldest son and becomes a pig teammate? !

After giving birth to a child, it seems that one child has become two children, and the husband has become the eldest son. The teammates who were originally expected to share the childcare labor suddenly turned into pig teammates who were holding back.

I couldn’t stand it any longer and kept thinking about things like an old woman, but even though I was so angry that I was hurt internally, the matter was not resolved, and my husband was not even aware of it.

No wonder many wives decide to do it all by themselves, but they also have no choice but to cultivate Mr. "Just leave it all to you!" "You are not satisfied anyway", "There is no way, kid A vicious cycle that only sticks to you. But my wife was still anxious, angry and exhausted.

Further reading: Just make sure your child is breathing! Dutch Dad: Is Mom very busy raising children? It’s easy for dad to take care of his kids! My mother’s complicated mood of being angry and jealous

In addition to being angry, sometimes I also feel jealous.

When my child comes home dirty and wants to touch around, and can’t stop playing, I always want to change her clothes first, but often I just change her clothes. He cried, struggled and resisted, but as soon as his father appeared, the little guy immediately jumped up and insisted on cooking noodles.

Watching the father and daughter happily clinging to each other, I seemed to see the teasing between the lover and the mistress. My resentful feelings are self-evident.

And when they were having fun, the mini mistress actually brought fake vegetables and fake meat and wanted to feed me. It makes me feel not only hungry but also full of injustice.

It was obviously me who was busy behind you ***. I didn’t even take care of my own affairs. All I could think about was doing good for you, but you still pushed me away.

On the other hand, the child's father has done nothing serious. His clothes have not been changed, his toys are all over the floor, and his diaper is still hanging on the ***. He only wants to play with you, and then the two of you laugh so hard that the background is filled with roses. What a joy.

When I started to feel dissatisfied with my husband, all the past resentments were like a marquee that turned on automatically. Suddenly, they played clearly in front of my eyes, preparing for the accusations I was about to blurt out. And complain, add the final horsepower.

When I came back to my senses, when I was about to shoot the gentleman who didn’t bring anything, everything was seen by my friends. My friend was the first to remind me and said with a smile: "But, look, it's really okay!" If my mother does a good job, does she deserve to do more?

"As long as the child is still breathing, it will be fine." - This seems to be a joke that many people often tell their mothers when their fathers are raising children.

However, it is indeed true, the children are also living well. So, what are you busy with?

Looking back every time I go out, regardless of the distance to the destination, my bag is always very big, but there are only a few opportunities to use it.

When you are really in need, there are often many wet wipes, diapers, hot water and other equipment and supplies in department stores, MRT stations and other places. Food scissors don’t need to be used every time. My mother-in-law can use a pair of chopsticks to break the food into small pieces, which is easy to eat. Compared with children’s chopsticks and children’s spoons, my children prefer to hold the same tableware as adults, and We eat together.

So when I carried the heavy bag out, except for the biscuits that were eaten, everything else was carried home intact.

If you think about it carefully, my husband is not the kind of person who has completely different views on upbringing than me. I don’t really need to fight with him for polarizing values. It’s just that many small details are hard to see. Therefore, I feel that it would be more satisfying to do it myself. But over time, it becomes like “If you do well, you deserve to do more.” ?" The accumulated negative emotions burst out.

Extended reading: Do you dare to say that you are a good father? 90% of fathers feel happy, mothers, let go! Daughters only need help from their fathers to bathe? !

I found that my mother always said "hurry up" and "no", but my father almost always said "ok" and "come on". I also discovered that the interactions between father and daughter are completely different situations than those between mother and daughter.

As soon as I get home, I rush to ask my child if he wants to take a bath. After taking a lot of effort to take a bath, I kept an eye on whether the child had pooped and when to brush his teeth.

My children find me very annoying because I am always chasing after them. However, the children find it fun to be with their father. Although the father is always too lazy to wash his hands first when he comes home, he never hesitates to give a hug to the child who rushes forward, regardless of whether the child wants it or not. Anyway, he bows his head and kisses fiercely.

When the mood strikes, he will grab the child's feet and do an impromptu hanging upside down, making the child giggle. Sometimes it causes the child to cough, but the laughter cannot stop. Then the child looks back and sees me and keeps asking: "Do you want to take a bath?" My daughter actually answered me directly: "I want daddy to take a bath." < /p>

Why don’t I just try to let go and let father and daughter have their own special time?

Obviously I am also a psychologist, but I have to face it very frankly. It actually took me a lot of time to digest that my child actually chose his father between his father and his mother. And it lasted for quite some time.

My daughter only wanted her father to help her bathe. Later, my husband went on business trips several times, and my daughter was reluctant, so she finally "opened up" and my mother also helped her bathe. But she told me very seriously: " I don’t want it to get in my eyes!”

I was surprised and took the time to ask my husband how he helped the child bathe.

"Eh? Isn't that what you did?" My husband probably didn't expect that I, who was used to doing all these things by myself, would be more satisfied, but asked him this question instead.

The husband said that he first asked the children: "Do you want to play princess games while taking a bath?" Then he easily carried the excited children into the bathroom.

From the moment she watched her father release the water, my daughter began to look forward to the next playtime. Then, she was obediently held in her arms by her father, lying on his lap, and let him stack the bubbles on her head into various shapes (my husband would also hold the child in front of the mirror and let her admire herself) (a funny look that they call a "princess" look), and finally rinses away the bubbles happily, and the daughter obediently goes into the bathtub to take a bath, which also brings an end to this bathing time.

I was surprised because I was always very anxious and thought that children are more likely to resist washing their hair, so they were very persistent in completing this task first.

After I tried to coax the child, but the child refused to compromise, I would anxiously put the child directly into the bathtub. When she starts to play in the water unpreparedly, I will take advantage of the situation and secretly help her apply bubbles, rinse her water, and dry her randomly with a towel, for fear that she will catch a cold. But when she is discovered, the child will often scream, Then resist in every possible way.

This is no wonder, because I always have to complete "tasks", and dad really wants to "be together" with his children, so as a mother, I often feel angry at dad's lack of intention, and I feel guilty for The child's lack of cooperation makes him feel discouraged. As time goes by, he naturally feels that he is always being bullied by the couple from his previous life. Fathers also have psychological needs to be close to their children

Many mothers do not dare to trust their "eldest son" to take care of their children. If so, then they will be like me and end up in a thankless position. Dilemma.

If the mother habitually criticizes and dislikes her husband when she sees him trying to get close to or take care of the child, then the way for the husband to adjust is either to focus on work or to enjoy his single time more happily. Before you know it, it becomes a miserable cycle where the mother has to take care of the older and younger children in the house.

In fact, if a child only needs his mother for everything, his father will also feel uncomfortable.

For a father, it’s okay if he doesn’t want his children. If his wife is snatched away to be a full-time mother, then what is my position in this family? Therefore, maybe the father who is willing to be the eldest son is more comfortable with himself, but not necessarily.

And if the husband and wife have lost all their intimacy, they will appear in my consultation room. Sometimes, it’s not that the husband doesn’t have the will, but that he has never had the opportunity to be seen by his wife as a father, or that he can personally go to sea and try it with his children, and is affirmed. “This is also a way of getting along with children. ”.

A mother once complained to me that when she was busy working in the house, her child actually said that he only wanted TV when facing the TV and his father. But for the father, how frustrated he must be when faced with his child's cruel choice! Imperfection is daily life

After that, I began to work hard to seize some opportunities to "enjoy being an eldest daughter". Once, my husband once again patted his chest and said that he wanted to take care of the children by himself, and asked me to go shopping and buy clothes without any worries, and even bring back a handheld drink to reward my sweet tooth. But unexpectedly, I just walked to a department store at an MRT station away from home, picked out two pairs of pants, and was about to try them on, when I received a call for help from my husband, with a child crying in the background. Voice: "The child has pooped, and he will only let his mother wash his vagina!"

I have to admit that I have mixed feelings at the moment, but more importantly, I have to hold back the anger and blame.

I told my husband calmly: "I will rush back as soon as possible."

Unexpectedly, less than five minutes later, my husband called me again and told me: "If you want me to continue shopping slowly, I will go back." OK, I will take the child out and go shopping with you."

The plot development is certainly not as inspiring as the spiritual book series. How can my husband wash the child well? Of course, take it directly to Munro!

When I finished shopping and walked to the agreed floor to meet them, I only saw the father and daughter laughing and playing around while waiting for me. As expected, my daughter's vagina was heavy and smelly, but she happily asked me to take her to clean her vagina. At that moment, I smiled relaxedly, and then helplessly grabbed the child to change the diaper. When you change your mentality, you can look at the imperfections of everything with ease.

I began to appreciate my husband's parenting style.

I saw that in my relationship with my children, I still have the need to "be needed", but occasionally I also want to feel my husband's sincerity of "I am willing to share." Since I myself can't bear to let it go completely, it seems to be pretty good if my husband handles such a task half-heartedly and then I can finish it neatly.

I started to appreciate that when my husband was raising children alone, I would always receive photos of my children wearing weird pajamas. I accept that father and daughter always play the princess (or I don’t know what role) game in the bath and brush teeth in a non-serious way, and I have become more able to enjoy the time when we husband and wife take turns taking care of the children and letting each other relax.

How precious is the time when my children are no longer with me and I don’t have to worry or miss them.

Since only fathers have the strength to lift their children to fly high, then don’t worry, let go, and let them enjoy this tumbling moment!