The first confession in life

The first time I confessed my love was when I was a sophomore in college. In fact, I had a girlfriend in junior high school and high school, but I don’t think it was a true confession. Two people don’t understand each other. I agreed to the other party casually and maintained it for a period of time when I really thought about it. I think this is a joke, and I think the other party just transcends the image of a playmate role. When I went to college, as I grew older, I had more inner thoughts. These thoughts were more reflected in chasing girls (haha, just kidding). I am actually relatively introverted. , unwilling to express my inner thoughts to the opposite sex, except of course other people. The opposite sex here refers to the person I like, but if I really like someone, there will be no such thing as introversion, and I will be very Tell her my thoughts seriously, maybe this is the power brought by love. However, my first confession failed, it failed completely, and everything disappeared.

Actually, I don’t understand how I met her. It was probably fate. I was bored during the holidays, so I opened QQ to browse the freshmen’s group. I This person likes to see other people’s profile pictures. I accidentally opened her information bar, and then entered her space to look through her photo album (haha, isn’t it a bit vulgar)? There are many photos in her space photo album. At first glance, I thought this girl was very well-behaved, well-dressed, and loved to smile. She had a beautiful smile. The photogenic qualities of the other people in the photo made her look less attractive, which aroused me. interest. I thought I should have a chat with her, so the two of us started chatting. As time went by, she shyly called me senior at first, and then the two of them nicknamed each other, and the relationship changed somewhat. , a few days before the start of school, I realized that I would be able to see her soon, and I had a complicated feeling in my heart. I wanted to see her but was afraid of seeing her. When I contacted her, I looked very excited and happy, but in my heart, I felt very excited and happy. I was a little nervous and a little at a loss. I started to think that I might have fallen in love with her.

After school started, I packed my luggage and stood up and sat down from time to time in the dormitory, feeling a little restless. The new student arrived at school a few days later than us. I have been thinking about her all day long and what I should say as the first thing I say when I see her. The more I think about it, the more excited I get (I even make myself laugh). A few days later, I received a call from her saying that she was almost at the school gate. I quickly dressed up and even sprayed myself with some perfume that I usually don’t use. I went to the school gate and saw her. She was as beautiful as in the photo. Dragging a heavy suitcase made her look exhausted. She was sweating profusely, and her white skirt was darkened by the suitcase. I took the suitcase, said hello, and accompanied her to do the registration related work, and then sent her back to the dormitory. It seemed like there was nothing wrong with these movements being done in one go. But I was so nervous. Her parents were still around, so I didn't say anything else. From the time she entered the school to the end of her military training, we kept in touch through online chats and did not make appointments with each other. I like running, so I took this opportunity to ask her to come out with me. The two of us ran together, and we talked about the whole process. Laughing, the two of them also got a better understanding of what kind of person the other person was. One weekend I started asking her to go out and take her to get to know new things in a strange city. She seemed very happy. I looked at her and I smiled happily. Through these things in school, I gradually felt that I should do something more, and I began to have the idea of ????confessing. I started to write some words of confession on paper and memorize them. My roommate said, "Are you good at this? You look so silly and straight." I didn't say anything. My mind was a little confused at the time, but at the same time, there was one thing in my heart that was not confused, and that was my feelings for her. I have never felt this way before. How difficult it is to meet someone who feels the same way in life. No matter what the outcome is, I have decided to do this.

After I was ready, I started to contact her to come out. It rained heavily that day and the clouds were dark at night. I went to the balcony to look outside. Because of the rain, there were many students on the school street. It became sparse, and the trees and flowers outside were swayed left and right by the strong wind, as if celebrating this incident between us. I held the umbrella and turned around to look at my roommates. They were all busy with their own things. No one was looking at me, so I wasn't scared. I mustered up the courage and walked out. It was very cold outside. I felt as if I had committed a crime. I began to wonder if it would be bad to ask her to come out in such a cold day and raining. What should I do if she catches a cold? I walked while thinking in my mind, and soon I arrived at the agreed place - the door of the library. I came a few minutes early because it seemed more polite. After waiting for a while, I watched the couples in the library come out of the library. , her eyes became a little blurry, and then she came. At this time, the rain stopped. What a coincidence. The sky was blessing me and wishing that my wish would come true.

? "It's so late, why did you call me here?"

? "It's okay, I want to tell you something, let's... let's go around the library Let's go around."

We started walking from the left side of the library, and I looked at her. She was looking left and right carelessly, and her left index finger was gesticulating back and forth in the air, as if she was keeping time. We walked around to the back of the library, no one was passing us, and I took a deep breath.

"I... I'm here to express my feelings to you today. I... like you..."

She didn't As she spoke, I saw that her face was blushing, and so was my face. My heart was like a huge wave rolling, and I was smiling awkwardly, not knowing how to put my hands.

"Let's go away first and let me think about it first. You suddenly said this and I am not mentally prepared at all, okay? Let me think about it first."

I said nothing and nodded, as if stunned. I walked side by side with her and didn't speak for five minutes. I realized that I was a little embarrassed, as if the air had frozen. I told her some other things, and also said a lot of love words by the way, the kind that expressed my determination. In the end, I saw that she was still hesitant, and I felt a little soft-hearted. I didn't rush her. I looked at her and said:

? "Well, you can tell me when you have made up your mind. I won't rush you. You can't push feelings. What's sincere is what's sincere, without any falsehood. You don't have to be embarrassed. Just tell me your true thoughts. This can be regarded as an explanation for the two of us. "

? "That's fine. "

We continued walking, and when we reached the door of the library, she suddenly grabbed me and said:

"I've thought about it, come with me to the back of the library, to the place you just mentioned."

I responded, and she pulled me away. I was in a mess, thinking... Did my love words impress her? Or does she really like me from the bottom of her heart? I became expectant and the corners of my mouth raised slightly. Arriving at the back of the library, she said:

"To be honest, what you just said really touched me, and I also felt that this was your inner thought. How can an introverted boy express it like this?" I admire and respect your own thoughts. Since you joined me, I have always regarded you as a good friend. I was initially willing to chat with you because I thought you were a very good person. Yes, I pay great attention to three views. These are my principles for making friends and dating partners. I really haven’t thought about the issues of liking and love. I’m sorry, but I really want to treat you as the best. "Friends."

"That's right, okay..."

My mind was dazed for a moment, and I looked around at the things around me, and they didn't change. Nodding her head without thinking, she said the word "Okay" without thinking, and she also said, "Sorry, I don't want to do this.

"With these words, I wasn't so nervous at this time, and my heart became extremely calm. This was different from what I felt before I confessed. I felt a little relieved. I thought that this was what I gave to me and her. Let me tell you something, I no longer have to think about how to surprise her every day, how to take her to play every day, or how to make her happy every day. She has freed me up. I think so did she. I thought for a while and said:

"Can I hug you? I only have this small request. ”

She nodded, I stepped forward and hugged her, hugged her tightly, tears fell, I couldn’t help it, but I didn’t make a sound, I was afraid that she would hear it, I didn’t want to No matter how much she lost her dignity, she didn't resist. She was just held by me. I used my other hand to quietly wipe the tears from the corner of my eyes, wiping them cleanly without leaving any trace. I let go. I sent her back to her dormitory. I wanted to buy her her favorite burnt grass jelly again, but she rejected me. I didn’t say anything else and walked downstairs to her dormitory. The two of them didn’t talk much along the way. , at this time she started to prepare to enter the dormitory building, I couldn't control myself, I moved my hands and feet randomly, I shouted: "Is it really impossible?" "

She didn't answer me and slowed down. She glanced at me and saw that my eyes were red. Then she hurriedly ran to the dormitory.

The night is getting deeper, and I am alone around. The trees and flowers are still swaying from side to side. It is still so cold, much colder than before. Maybe it is because the wind has become stronger again. Many people are hanging in the dormitory upstairs. I was washing my own clothes. A few people saw me but they were still doing their own thing. I smiled slightly and started to walk back. My mind was no longer so confused. I held my hands together, with her still on them. At this time, it started to rain again. I opened the umbrella that I had not opened tonight, thinking that God would really bless me. I walked out of the road of her dormitory and looked in the direction of my dormitory. There was a couple on the road. The couple was chatting and laughing, and passed me to the dormitory building where I sent her off just now. I laughed with them and looked at their happiness. I continued walking. The street light in front of me was probably broken. At first glance, Before the end, the road is really dark tonight, so dark...