Introduce some humorous jokes to avoid embarrassment on blind date tomorrow.

1. Chief: Hello, comrades! Soldier: Hello, sir! The chief patted a soldier's chest and said, how well this muscle is trained! Soldier: Sir, I'm a female soldier!

2. A farmer asked a veterinarian to breed pigs, and the veterinarian said: It seems that artificial breeding is needed. The farmer hesitated for a long time, summoned up his courage and said, yes, I'm afraid it will bite me.

Someone farted on the bus. A coquettish woman spat, "bah-bah-bah-". A man said, what, you spit out your shell after eating fart? !

One day, 0 and 8 met in the street. 0 disdainfully looked at 8 and said: Fat is fat. What belt are you wearing?

A sister-in-law saw a person who was about to get off the bus drop a pack of cigarettes on the pedal, and quickly said to that person, Comrade, you dropped the cigarettes! The man is furious: you just castrated!

6. A village woman went to town for the first time and wanted to go to the toilet. After a long time, she asked the policeman helplessly, Comrade, there is a public toilet in front. Where is the mother toilet?

7. Freshmen on campus: students who repeat the grade are called "international students", those who have money at home are called "rich students", and those who doze off in class are called "poor students".

8. An American called Bush a * * element in front of the White House, and was immediately arrested on the charge of leaking state secrets.

The thief stole a chicken and plucked its hair by the river. When the police passed by, the thief threw the chicken into the river and explained to the police: This chicken is swimming, and I help it look after its clothes.

10. A man was constipated when he went to the toilet. Suddenly he saw a man rush in, and it was stormy in an instant. "Dude, I really envy you, so fast." "I envy you, I didn't take off my pants."

1 1. What would you do if I hugged you? Woman: resist! Man: What would you do if I kissed you? Woman: Resist. Man: If I ... Woman: It's over! After all, a woman's strength is limited.

12. A foreign youth who came to China never understood the difference between "iron" and "steel". One night he came home late and couldn't open the door, so he had to shout, landlady, will you open your steel door? I can't get in!

13. When the nurse saw the patient drinking in the ward, she went over and whispered, "Sweetheart!" The patient smiled and said, "Little baby."

14. When Bush visited the Pentagon, he felt sad. #8220; The Pentagon has become a four-corner building. Powell said, "Mr. President, the Pentagon is a hexagonal building with no corners."

15. When the leaders visited the countryside, the village head asked the farmers to shout slogans and repeat the last two words. When the leader arrived, the township head shouted "Stop whoring" and the farmers followed "whoring! Hey! "

16. A company recruits, and the English name of the next girl to be interviewed is "spring". The secretary wanted to take the opportunity to show off her English level and shouted: Hi! That one named "Chun", it's your turn!

17. The tortoise said to the mouse, "I work in a five-star hotel!" ""nonsense ""really, they made soup from my bath water just now. "

18. A woman felt tired in the park, so she lay on a bench and relaxed. When a beggar came to molest her, the woman was furious. The beggar didn't want to: Since you don't want to, why are you lying in my bed?

19. On the bus, the pregnant woman standing said to the strange man sitting next to her: Don't you know I'm pregnant? I saw that man very nervous.