Why "Wash your dirty linen in public"? In fact, there is a basis. what do you think?

What is "dirty clothes"?

There is something wrong with the relationship between husband and wife, and there is a big fight. Both of them have no face when they say it. Children make mistakes and have poor grades, but parents spread them to outsiders everywhere; Daughter-in-law always blames her mother-in-law in front of outsiders, accuses her mother-in-law in front of outsiders and so on.

Everyone has a different definition of a dirty laundry, but one thing is certain: you can solve the contradictions within your family by yourself, but during or before the solution, you will tell outsiders everywhere that this behavior is to expose the dirty laundry.

From the psychological point of view, dirty is easy to hurt the intimate relationship within the family; Whether it is husband and wife, parents and children, or the younger generation.

-0 1

Why do people always like to tell their "dirty laundry" to outsiders?

From a psychological point of view, if a person always tells outsiders about his own experience, on the one hand, it is to seek comfort and hope to get more "recognition"; On the other hand, it also shows that this person's will is not firm enough to keep a secret and wants to satisfy his inner desire for control with the words of outsiders.

This kind of people always feel that their ideas are right, they have contradictions with their families, and their families are all wrong, only they are right; So he told others about the ugliness of his family everywhere, hoping to gain more people's recognition and make everyone think that he was right, so his heart finally felt "victory" in this contradiction.

The relationship between husband and wife is not harmonious, one side betrays feelings and wants to tell outsiders everywhere; But after that? Your relationship still can't be solved. On the contrary, when others know that you two are at odds, outsiders will continue to spread it with others.

Three men make a tiger, and human speech is the most hurtful weapon.

Daughter-in-law always complains about her mother-in-law in front of outsiders, but in fact, in the eyes of outsiders, you will feel that you are the unfilial person; Obviously, my mother-in-law didn't do anything wrong, but in your eyes, my mother-in-law seems to have done everything wrong.

Sometimes, the more you talk, the more likely you are to make mistakes.

When there are contradictions within the family, we should first find ways to solve them, instead of complaining to outsiders everywhere; Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Nobody wants to hear your gossip.

-02

If it is always publicized, what kind of harm will it cause to the internal relations of the family?

I have a relative's child. Male 14 years old, junior high school. In fact, junior high school students are also facing great pressure, facing the senior high school entrance examination, and the school is still a relatively key junior high school, and the surrounding children have good grades; Boys also study hard, but their grades are not top-notch, and sometimes they will regress.

Then the mother of the child is a person with a particularly bad temper. As long as the child's exam results are worse than the last one and her name drops, she will scold the child and even say: You are such a pig brain, but your grades are so poor. Do not eat; If you can't get into a key school, you can go out to work.

And every time the child's grades are poor, after scolding the child, he will go out to chat with his neighbors and shout loudly: My child is so stupid, his brain is so stupid, and his grades are so poor every time.

However, all this was heard by the children. When I first met my children, I was a confident and talkative person. But the last time I saw him, it was obviously like a different person, taciturn and dull.

Sometimes I think, what good is it for family relations to wash one's dirty linen in public?

One of my relatives has a bad temper and doesn't know how to educate children and how to maintain feelings with them. It's always a mistake to embellish yourself in front of outsiders. What will others think of children?

Maybe everyone will feel imperceptibly: your children are stupid and have poor grades.

So they will tell their children to stay away from your children, and your children's grades are poor.

Therefore, it is really not a good thing to wash one's dirty linen in public.

By the same token, even if there is a contradiction between husband and wife, as long as it can be reconciled, don't always tell outsiders, which is not conducive to your feelings.

If your feelings are really irreconcilable, it goes without saying that outsiders will guess.

In the world of adults, you should know how to be silent, not complain to outsiders.

-03

"Don't wash your dirty linen in public"?

Remember when Wang sent a long letter accusing divorce and marital betrayal?

On the one hand, many personnel expressed sympathy for Wang's experience, on the other hand, they also said that Wang's behavior of "washing his dirty linen in public" was unacceptable; On the surface, he works hard, but in fact, the most painful thing is the children.

Everyone knows his dirty laundry and unhappy marriage, but the children are always innocent; In the future, when children grow up, it will still be a scar and shadow in their hearts.

When you wash your dirty linen in public, sometimes it will bring more negative harm than the "sense of identity" you gained at that time.

In a family, if your child's grades are really poor, it is not bad to say that he is good in front of outsiders; In this way, children will feel more positive, and outsiders will praise your children subtly, so that your children can gain more confidence.

When your partner and lover have shortcomings and you two have contradictions, solve the problem first; Then in front of outsiders, also say his good, then he will feel your sincerity and strive to develop according to your expectations.

In a family, good praise is more conducive to harmony than malicious slander.