Good words and jokes

1, a police dog saw an ordinary dog coming on the road and ran over to ask it: I am a police dog, what are you? The ordinary dog took a disdainful look and said, idiot, look clearly, I am plain clothes! Mr. Wang has a silly son-in-law, Zhao Yi, who is approaching his 60th birthday. When he got home, his wife specifically told him to learn a few good words on the way. Zhao Yi nodded, expressing understanding, and set off in the warm spring breeze. Walking into a small forest, I saw a hunter just entering the forest, and the birds that were chirping just now suddenly quieted down, so the hunter said, "One person enters the forest, and all birds are silent!" " "Zhao Yi think this sentence is good, just remember. Keep walking until you come to a small river. The bridge was washed away by the flood, leaving only one tree across it. At this time, an old woman struggled to cross the bridge, looked back at the bridge and said, "Double bridges are easy to walk, but single trees are hard to walk!" " "He thinks this sentence is better than the last one, so just remember it. Crossing the river to a small village, an old farmer was shouting at the grinning hound with a fork: "hound, hound, if you grin again, I will give you a fork!" " "Zhao Yi got a coke. What a cool curse! Of course I remember. I'm going to my father-in-law's house. He was a little nervous and deliberately read those three sentences several times before he was relieved. The silly son-in-law was just about to enter the door, and his family already knew, including those relatives and friends who came to congratulate him. They all know that Zhao Yi is a pustule, so they all keep silent and wait to see his jokes. Zhao Yigang came in and saw everyone talking and laughing just now. Suddenly he became quiet. He remembered the first sentence and blurted out, "When one enters the forest, all birds are silent!" Hearing this, all the people were surprised, afraid to peek at Zhao Yi, and all smiled and said hello. Mr. Wang was very happy to see the silly son-in-law behave well today, but he still wanted to test him, so Zhao was the only one who caught a chopstick while eating. Why did Zhao Yi give a chopstick when he was unhappy? Just remembered the second sentence: "Double bridges are easy to walk, but single trees are hard to walk!"! "The old father-in-law is so stupid, and the mother-in-law next to him is secretly laughing that Mr. Wang is stumped by the silly son-in-law. Zhao's mother-in-law said, "hound, hound, if you grin again, I'll give you a fork!" "2. The old man who teaches chemistry is 800 degrees nearsighted. After writing a book on the blackboard in class, he suddenly turned to me and shouted, What are you standing for? ! Sit down! ! I'm sitting in the seat in the last row, and my coat is hanging on the wall behind me ... 3. In the first aid class in the university, the professor gave a demonstration while talking: Professor: Press your chest with both hands, not too hard, just press 2~3cm, too hard will easily break the patient's ribs! Professor: Let's look at the demonstration (press your hand hard). Click! The model's ribs are broken. The professor said that the class ended in embarrassment. . . . Mom doesn't have to worry about my study anymore. It's so easy! Holding a lighter, holding a textbook, you won't order anywhere!