Funny dialogues in love apartment

Funny dialogue from "Love Apartment":

Bus driver (to Zhan Bo): You're a pervert, either swipe your card, put in coins, or get out, no matter what!

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Bus driver (to the bodyguard): Hey, come back! Either swipe your card, put in coins, or get out, whatever you want! (The bodyguard gets off the bus) You can’t even sit on the bus, and you pretend to be the Matrix, huh!

Xiaoxian: Xiaoxian has such a roommate. He and a girl live in two suites in the same apartment. Unfortunately, one always walks to the left and the other always takes the elevator

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Zi Qiao: I am Chen Yuanyuan, you? (Look at chest) Chen, Bian, Bian!

Zhanbo: People use eight words to describe her: as quiet as a virgin, as active as crazy. Rabbit

Zi Qiao: Your eyes are clear and moving, your hands are gentle and delicate, your heart is crystal clear;

Meijia: Your arms are powerful, you Your chest is broad and stalwart, your skin is invulnerable...

Yifei: Zhanbo and I were conjoined twins before we were two years old, and our brains were still the same

< p> Xiaoxian: Yes, and then the doctor made a sharp move and gave all the brains to Zhanbo

Zhanbo: Five portions first? Rape the chicken popcorn?!

Wanyu( To the waiter): Then we want five portions of "Rape Chicken Popsicles"

Yifei: Two prodigies, those are "Violent Chicken Popsicles"

Zhanbo: Oh, yes Did you change the name?

Qiao: At that time, the sky was still blue, the water was green, chickens and ducks were free of bird flu, and pork was safe to eat. At that time, you had to wear clothes for taking photos, you had to pay off debts, your mother-in-law didn't care about your house when she married your daughter, and the child's father... was also clear.

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Guangu: Isn't "The Promise" a romance movie?

Zi Qiao: Ha! You won't understand the movie just by looking at it!... "The Promise" is a horror movie!

Lisa: It’s you! Zeng Xiaoxian!

Zeng Xiaoxian: Do you know me?

Lisa: My classmate’s eldest cousin’s neighbor is related to your brother-in-law’s cousin! < /p>

Lisa: (pointing to Zeng Xiaoxian’s face) It’s not a software problem, you should change the monitor!

Zeng Xiaoxian: Hello everyone, I am your new Xiaoxian, friend Zeng...

Yifei: Tell everyone what you are unhappy about to make everyone happy

Passers-by: Eat beer caps when eating sesame seed cakes, mothballs when eating wontons, and swat flies when swatting flies. On the nail, I went to Qingsongguan to burn incense. My phone fell into the merit box and I couldn’t get it out.

Sister Shan: Even canned sardines have a better future than you!

Sister Shan: I don’t have enough money. Actor Undecided, no script yet

Yifei: I think this is completely unreliable. China’s men’s football World Cup win is almost as outrageous as yours

Meijia: Look at you That big face, every time I stand next to you, there is no signal on my mobile phone, and I can’t even see the sun when I walk on the road!

Zi Qiao: Did your head get squeezed by the door? You dinosaur that degenerates three times a day !

Zhanbo: Do ??I look unhappy?

Yifei: Tsk, you have written the word "depressed" on your face. Illiterate people can really read it. Don’t come out

Yifei: You are short-sighted! Nothing in the world is greater than your lack of sense

Yifei: Let me think about it, astronomical observation team, pesticide testing Center, and...the Association of Primitive Animals, does this count as a social network?

Zhanbo: It’s the Association of Primitive Animal Researchers, and there are many girls in it. Haven’t you seen the photos?

Yifei: Eight girls, four with steel teeth, three with spectacle lenses thicker than beer bottles, and one who is bigger than you... Now I completely understand why it is called the Primitive Animal Association. , you can just study each other and save money on buying specimens

Wanyu: It is the duty of every citizen to despise him

Zhanbo: Sister, have you ever raised a dog? ?

Yifei: No, but... you were raised by me.

I have raised many animals before, including birds, rabbits, fish, squirrels, and money trees. Within three days... they were all dead. Zhanbo, you are so lucky!

Wanyu: Dog biscuits are rich in content The hair conditioner and anti-dandruff formula, after taking it, the hair is gone without a trace, and the dandruff is even more outstanding!

Yifei: Did your mother throw away the person when she gave birth to you and raise the placenta? !

Zi Qiao: Don’t compare yourself to me, I’m too lazy to compare with you!

Meijia: If you commit seppuku, I...I’ll have to wipe the floor again...

Xiaobo: I have been divorced for three years, and my son is already half a year old

Ziqiao: I also want to find a place where I can print my face on currency

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Meijia: It’s not difficult, can’t you just find a place to print money?

Ziqiao: In our men’s world, there are still many strong men,?#92; People are like stars

Yifei: But when I look around, there are no clouds and the sky is full of stars

Guan Gu reads "Returning the Pig Princess": One day, the little duck met Fourth elder brother,

Fourth elder brother said: ?You are heartless, you are cruel, you are unreasonable!?

The little duck said: ?Then you are not ruthless, not cruel, and not unreasonable? < /p>

?Where am I ruthless, cruel, and unreasonable!?

?Where are you not ruthless, cruel, and unreasonable!?...

Guan Gu (singing): Giant dragon, you are two years short, forever and ever...

Guan Gu (singing): I am not a locust, I am not a centipede, I only want my mean brother , perfect love...

Yifei: If I can’t see that man, I will let you disappear! Disappearance in both biological and sociological senses!

Yifei: You are shameless, you are despicable, you are unreliable!

Zi Qiao: Then you are not shameless, not despicable, and very reliable?

Yifei: How shameless and despicable am I? , how unreliable!?

Zi Qiao: How are you not shameless, how are you not despicable, how are you reliable!?

Yifei: No matter how shameless I am, no matter how shameless I am, No matter how despicable and unreliable you are, I can't be more shameless, despicable, and unreliable than you!!

Zi Qiao: Okay, okay, stop scolding, there is no point in running for President of the United States. That’s it

Yifei: Teacher Zeng’s show will start soon

Zi Qiao: Do ??you want to listen?

Yifei: Yeah

Zi Qiao: Oh, you still said I was boring

Yifei: Don’t you listen?

Zi Qiao: Listen! Who made us boring

Wanyu: Have you passed the GRE?

Passerby: I... don’t have an aunt

Wanyu: What about TOEFL?

Passerby: Who can I trust? Blessed?

Wanyu: Ugly, but ugly, so ugly!

Xiaoxian: I allow you to walk around in my world, but absolutely You are not allowed to run around in my world!

Zhanbo: Sister, if someone hurts you deeply, how long will it take you to forgive him?

Yifei: Forgive him? Forgiving him is a matter for God. My mission is to send him to see God!

Meijia: My aunt came to see me in advance. My waist is very sore and my stomach is uncomfortable.

Guangu: Meijia, your aunt is so kind to you. How about she sleeps in my room today and I sleep on the sofa?

Wanyu: Guangu, the aunt you are talking about It’s not the same thing as what she said

Sekiya: Oh, does Meijia have many aunts? Your grandma is really good at giving birth. I only have one, but I have three aunts!

< p>Yifei: It doesn’t matter, failure is success

Zhanbo: I have had many mothers, but none of them are pregnant

Ziqiao: Eh? What’s wrong with this cup? No mouth!

Meijia: You held it backwards

Ziqiao (turning the cup over): Not only does it have no mouth, it doesn’t even have a bottom

Yifei: Forget about writing poetry,

What he wrote was nonsense, smelly and lengthy. But when the girl saw it, the female hormones that were finally stimulated instantly... turned into cholesterol.

Wanyu: Feifei wants to make her own chocolates as gifts. Mr. Shen

Xiao Xian: Really? He has done something sorry for you, you have to poison him!

Yifei: I want to poison, be the first to poison him You!

Zhanbo: The things my sister makes are not poisonous. The poison must look very tempting before anyone will eat it. I saw the chocolate she made last time, so good!!

Xiao Xian: Hahaha, I understand, you don’t want to poison him to death, you want to scare him to death!

Gu: It’s so touching... Xiao Longnu is really So beautiful... But Yang Guo doesn't know how to cherish it. He only has his aunt in his heart!

Zhanbo: That's right, Xiao Longnu... is his aunt

Gu (surprised): Ah! It’s so sinful. Doesn’t his uncle have any objection to what Yang Guo did?

Zhanbo: Well... To be precise, there is no such person as uncle

Guan Gu: Oh my God! Then Yang Guo... became his own uncle!! Xiao Longnu... became her own niece-in-law!!

Wanyu: Xiao Longnu was raped< /p>

Guan Gu (crazy): na ni (what)?! How is that possible!

Wanyu (smiling): Yes, it was Yin Zhiping who did it

Guan Gu (continues to freak out): Stop talking! Stop talking!! (Suddenly calms down)...Is Yin Zhiping really Yang Guo’s uncle?

Zi Qiao: Ten thousand and one hundred Everything is the same, because I don’t have any!

Yifei: Now I really want to put my size 37 shoes on your size 42 face! Vegetable people can talk better than you, believe it or not I will plant you in a flowerpot right now!!

The person riding the white horse may not be a prince, but it may be Tang Monk?

The person who can burn incense may not be a monk, it may be Is it a panda?

The one with tattoos is not necessarily a bad guy, it could be Yue Fei~

The one who can fly is not necessarily a big bird, it could also be Li Ning

Rules of Landlord Fight in Love Apartment

1. A pair of QQ cannot beat 745 because QQ only costs 30,000 to 40,000 yuan, and BMW 745 is very expensive

2. A bomb cannot beat 119 because The fire brigade can put out fires...

3. The king can't call 911 because the FBI in the United States is very powerful.

4. Flush can't beat 4-color cards. Because it's so colorful. No matter what, it's better than standing alone

5. Congratulations on getting 12581. China Mobile will touch it for you for free

6. Congratulations to girls if they get 3 or 8. Because Stop playing cards once during holiday shopping

10. Get 5.1 10.1 Stop playing cards because of national statutory holidays

Yifei: Yes! That’s right! The red carpet is 80 meters... What happened? I'm actually 5 meters short. This boss is too wicked. The price of pork has increased and the carpets are missing me. Their carpets are not made of pigskin, right?

一 Fei: If the carpet is not long enough, let him sew his red underpants on to make up the five meters!

Xiaoxian: I am not a casual person!

Yifei: You Being casual is not a human being!

Accidental, absolutely accidental, very accidental, too accidental

I will spray you to death with a mouthful of salt soda.

Never be together If you want to hang yourself from a tree, try hanging yourself from several surrounding trees a few more times...

I am a born actor, my eyes have become round since I was a child when I saw a beautiful girl< /p>

Zi Qiao: I am a born actor. My eyes have become round when I saw a beautiful girl since I was a child.

Xiao Xian: There are four and a half men here, what are you afraid of?

Zhan Bo: It’s obviously three and a half

Xiao Xian: One, two (referring to Zi Qiao) and Xiaoxian), one pheasant counts as two, you count as half

Zi Qiao: Why do I feel that if you sit here, birds will fly away from thousands of mountains, and people will disappear from thousands of paths.

Meijia: I used to be harassed by people online. Later I discovered that the username is very important... Work account, no chatting, if you want to chat, please pay 5 cents per word, punctuation marks , half price! 20% off voice and video discounts for more than 1,000 words are not available yet

Pay first and then chat when the payment is received. Online payment will provide invoices

Yifei: Then there are still people harassing you. ?

Meijia: No one paid attention to me anymore.

Zi Qiao: Miss! Were you kissed by a pig when you were a child?

Wan Yu: Ah! It’s so fun! This guy was so handsome that he was chopped down! I guess this is You must not be very good-looking!?

Zeng Xiaoxian:? Hahaha~~~~~That’s my name. ?

After a while~~~~

Wan Yu: ?Ah ha ha ha ha! This person is so ugly that he wants plastic surgery!?

Zeng: ?⊙﹏ ⊙bhan, that’s the name I just changed!?

Wan Yu:? Hahaha! This person’s name is Tang Monk Shampoo Loves Rejoice!?

That’s Zhan Bode

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The traffic police asked Zhanbo: "Can you drive?" Zhanbo: "I can't." ?

The traffic police asked Wanyu again: "What about you?" Wanyu: "I can, I can drive a go-kart." ?

Child: Where are you from?

Sekiya: A place far, far away

Child: Is it Ultraman’s hometown?

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Sekiya: Well, I’m from Ultraman’s hometown

Child: You treat me as my child

Sekiya: Do you think we are cabbage? You can pick and choose as you like.

Yifei: Of course not, you are carrots

I’d better keep the story short with you

But it’s a long story,

Ladies and folks!!

Xiaoxian: I can’t marry you, go buy a cucumber!!

? I want a treasure map, give me one Map, ah? This is still a map of the world, Lu Zhanbo

? Let’s agree first, who is Wu Chen Meijia? Your parents are remarrying.

Psychiatrist: What is your most terrifying dream? It’s the dream that wakes you up suddenly.

Zi Qiao: That was when I was in high school. One day I dreamed that I was taking an exam. It was so scary. Then I suddenly woke up, and something even more terrifying happened. It turned out that I was actually taking an exam.

Yifei: She may need to keep a spare tire

Zi Qiao: This appointment was originally for a spare tire and now she has found Guan Gu, so am I not the spare tire for the spare tire?

Yifei: En is referred to as the second child

Meijia’s classic quotation: One seven is seven, two, seven, forty-eight, thirty-eight, Women’s Day, May Day, Labor Day, Sixty-one. . .

Zi Qiao: What are you doing, celebrating the 10th anniversary of the Chinese men’s football team’s victory over the Cambodian women’s football team?

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen someone who boasts so freshly and refinedly like you. .

A three, a five...

Eat...

What to eat...

I want this card Eat...

Ah...

Look at my cards...

Two aces, a two, and an eight. What's wrong? ...

With this 5, I made up 12581...

12581...

Don’t be afraid, 12581 is just one Click and let me help you...

How can I help you...

I have a chance to touch myself...

Touch myself... < /p>

Yeah, come on, come on, none of you draw a card for me...

Hey, what are you doing...

I can imitate You have a card...

Why should I give it to you...

Ah...

A ten, look at this... < /p>

What is this...

A card of ten, a card of one, October 1st, what day...

It’s National Day... .

Yes, you have to rest for seven days during the National Day. I can escape seven cards...

Hibernation card...

You are so smart. In fact, the effect is almost the same...

Then why can you play cards...

I am Japanese, and Japan’s National Day is not that day, so I can’t rest and have to continue. Work, so I can play my cards, but you can't...

I won't fall down twice in the same place!?

Of course, Green Turtle They are all on all fours. Let me see if you let them fall. ?

Be good, drink milk, drink milk, drink, why don’t you drink! Sharapova, why are you crying again? I told you that I don’t know where your mother is, Albania or Algeria. God knows with your biological dad. Ronaldo, come down here and don’t treat Zidan like a horse! And you, Alibaba, took Ayumi Hamasaki outside to play. Is there a hide-and-seek place in the refrigerator?! I’m going to beat you. Why is Beckham asking upstairs on the balcony? Where are you peeing?! And you, did you take my sleeping pills as candy again, Jordan!

You sit next to her, and then she still smiles at you without knowing anything, and then, you Open your mouth, she breaks down, and then bursts into tears, and then the two of you hug each other and cry until they are alive. Finally, you have to tell her that it is impossible for us, so you should go buy a cucumber!

You talk to her. , then she looked at you quietly, you broke down and cried loudly, then she pulled you in her arms and said sternly, stop crying, go to bed, go to bed, you have to go to work tomorrow, don’t talk nonsense here when you are full. !

Meijia used Tathagata Palm to slap Ziqiao, and then said to Ziqiao who was lying on the ground: "You owe me 10 slaps. I slapped you once, so there are 11 left!" !!?