The so-called "stagnant water" home is a kind of quiet time, but dear, now I want a divorce.

Author/Li Yueliang: columnist. Professional interpretation of emotional incurable diseases and numerous puzzles in life.

Husband:

When I wrote these two words, my hand and heart shook at the same time. Because I know that there is another woman who calls you that. Besides, this may be the last time I call you like this.

the other day when you were taking a shower, I accidentally saw news from your mobile phone. On the lit screen, the word "husband" was particularly dazzling, which instantly stung me silly. It took me a long time to see the words clearly: "Husband, don't come over tonight? "These eight short words, all as big as a meteorite, were smashed without warning and thunderously, smashing my insides.

Your mobile phone has a password, but I cracked it without any effort. The chat record is really touching. Love is all over my husband and wife. You said a lot of love words that I am not familiar with, and I cried when I looked at them. Thank you for letting me know what it means to wear a heart.

I stayed up all night that night. And you snore like thunder beside me. The next day, my daughter went to kindergarten. You ate breakfast and didn't notice my red eyes and bad mood. Watching you put the last piece of bread in your mouth, I asked you who Amy was.

when you are stupefied, you say a former colleague. "She is much better than me? "I asked. When you look at me, you are a little uneasy: "What's the matter? Don't make a wild guess.

I'm not guessing. I saw your chat records. You've been together for half a year. You said that our home is a stagnant pool, and you have no feelings for me. Only when you are with her can you feel like a man, a man full of vigor and vitality. You are grateful to her for letting you live again, and you want to love her to death.

you stop talking. We just sat in silence. For a long time.

until the tears on my face dried up, you looked at your watch and said you had to go to work, and there was a meeting in the morning.

I said, "Nothing to explain? You put on your coat and turn your back on me: "Let's talk about it at night.

you don't know how I spent that day, do you? All day, I haven't eaten a grain of rice, and all I can think about is what you said to her and our lives over the years. You said you wanted to love her to death. But ten years ago, you hugged me tightly and said that you only wanted to marry me in this life. You said she was so cute when she smiled and narrowed her eyes. But in the past, you always said that I looked the best when I smiled. You said that when you are with her, your heart is full of flowers, but when you are with me, you can't help thinking about her. This sentence makes me sad the most.

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why am I so stupid? I didn't see that the man who appeared at my bedside every day was thinking of another woman when he was eating, sleeping, chatting and walking with me.

While I'm sweating cooking, serving my daughter to eat and drink Lazarus, and dragging a mop to wipe the corner of my house, you're blooming in someone else's place.

is this true? I really don't want to believe it. I am eagerly waiting for you to get off work, expecting you to give me an explanation that can overturn everything.

you're back. Look calm. At least it looks calm. I put my daughter to sleep at night, and when I came out, you were already in bed, brushing your mobile phone, and you didn't mean to talk to me. I sat by the bed and looked at you with mixed feelings.

over the years, every time there is a problem between us, you have such an attitude: ignore, don't communicate and don't ask. I always try my best to find the opportunity, find a way, take care of your emotions, consider your feelings and try to solve them. I've digested many trivial problems by myself, so I'll try not to bother you.

so, you are probably used to it. Accustomed to avoiding contradictions, accustomed to my active communication, accustomed to letting my emotions die. Whether I am happy or sad or sad to death, you turn a blind eye.

this time, do you think it's ok to pretend that nothing happened without asking or telling me, as in the past? I look at you and my heart is cold to the bottom inch by inch.

even if you don't know that I haven't eaten, slept and cried all day, you should always know that I am a sensitive, fragile and emotional person who can't stand you climbing into another girl's bed, right?

However, when I was in deep pain, suffocating and struggling desperately, you pushed me into the water, so you pretended to brush your mobile phone as if nothing had happened, and didn't mean to save me at all.

is this cowardice or selfishness?

you turned off the light and went to bed. I took the quilt to the sofa. Your snoring came from the darkness. My heart is filled with despair. We were silent for eight days. I won't talk, and neither will you. I slept on the sofa for eight days. In fact, I don't get enough sleep for three hours every day.

Even the five-year-old daughter saw something was wrong and said, "Mom, you look old. Are you unhappy?" "I reluctantly smiled and said no. She touched my hand lovingly and said, "Oh, mom, you are so tired. "My tears almost fell.

actually, I've been very tired for ten years with you. Outside of work, I am in charge of housework, children and the elderly. You are tired from work, you are keen on your career, and you want to make great achievements. I know that. So I want to do as much as I can to make your pressure less. So I bought food and cooked, washed dishes, paid the mortgage, paid the electricity bill, and took the elderly to see a doctor to accompany the children to the training class. I did all these things. You take everything for granted.

but have you ever thought that before I married you, I could hardly do any housework, and my mother wouldn't even let me wash the dishes. She said that it would be ugly for girls to always wash the dishes.

How much did the girl who didn't dye her fingers with spring water love you so much that she cooked for you with a smoky face, went upstairs with a whole box of mineral water, and picked up the socks you threw on the floor and washed them without complaining?

ten years ago, you ate junk food, stayed up late playing games, wore sneakers and had a hairstyle like a middle-aged man. How much energy did I spend to make you eat and sleep on time, learn to maintain fitness, know how to dress in fashion, and actively do business.

now you have a successful career and good clothes. And my hands are rough and my face is fine. You probably don't think I deserve you.

however, none of us are what we are today. The girl who calls you husband doesn't have to know, but you can't. However, I cleaned your shoes, ironed your shirt, bought a new men's suit, made you beautiful, and then you went on a date with her in high spirits ... < P > When you took off your white shirt by her bed, did you ever think that I soaped it three times, soaked it for two hours, and ironed it flat? When you unbutton your pants and I carefully sewed the reinforced buttons, you didn't feel a little guilty?

maybe. So after eight days of cold war, you said for the first time that you would take my daughter and me out to play. I don't want to go. But my daughter shouted with joy and said, Great, we haven't played together for a long time. So we drove to the suburbs.

Your cell phone rang several times along the way, and you just hung up. When we arrived, you let my daughter and I get off first and said that you had to deal with some work. After I settled my daughter, I saw you talking on the phone from a distance. I walk back. You hung up the phone quickly.

I said, can't you bear it just for a while? You stare at me and say, don't be so ugly. Please, what I said is ugly. Is it as ugly as what you did? I've been pent up for too long, and I'm having a heated argument with you.

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You said how hard it has been for you these years, trying your best to make money to support your family. I said, is that why you cheated? You said there was no reason, and you didn't want to defend yourself. I said there should always be an apology! You said sorry in a huff, sorry, sorry, okay! I am also frustrated, saying what attitude this is! You say you know how ugly you are now! I subconsciously looked at the rearview mirror of the car and was scared by my ugly appearance.

I'm so scared.

how have I become so ugly! How can I allow myself to be so ugly! That was the second time I felt desperate.

we still had a cold war when we got back. I try to sleep well, eat well, make up well and go to work well. But there is a huge stone in my heart, and I feel uneasy about everything I do. I often feel that I am in a daze and have no love.

every time you get dressed up and go out, every time you say you have to work overtime, and every time you read WeChat on your mobile phone, my heart is tied tightly. Every time you don't come home all night, I basically can't sleep all night, or have nightmares.

we talked again. You said you had to give you some time to deal with her feelings. I said I can't wait, I can't live this life is worse than death. If you say anything, you might as well die. I didn't say I wanted to divorce you. This sentence made me despair for the third time. It's total despair.

You really have no idea how I feel. Although it has been like this all these years, I really understand it this time. You only think that you need to withdraw from that relationship a little bit and give that girl a happy ending. But I didn't expect how sad it is for me to share your every day with her. You have decided that I cherish and rely on you, thinking that as long as I don't divorce, it is the greatest gift to me. You don't want to divorce me, so I have nothing to care about and feel sad about. This is your subtext. But, honey. Now, I want a divorce.

This woman who has always loved and supported you wholeheartedly and is willing to do anything for you is desperate for you. This woman who has spared no effort to pay for this family, put this family first, and hoped that this family would get better and better, decided to give up.

A woman like me is not afraid of being poor, tired, giving, getting old and ugly. She is afraid that the more tired she is, the less considerate she will be, and the more she gives, the more neglected she will be. When she gets old and ugly, she suddenly finds that everything is particularly unworthy.

I hope you understand that divorce is not an impulse on my part, nor is it a prudent opportunity to coerce you to go home, or even entirely because you cheated on me.

on the contrary, your infidelity has made me thoroughly see your indifference, selfishness, cowardice and incompetence, the true face of our marriage, and what I will become if I stick to your side-exhausted, exhausted and ugly.

In fact, these experiences have always been in my heart, but I always deceive myself, cover it up, comfort myself, and don't want to face it squarely or admit it.

After all, you are the person I love, the father of my children, and the master of this family that I cherish very much. I used to think that by covering up the truth, I could go to a reasonable perfection with you as if nothing had happened.

but now, the emperor's new clothes have been exposed, and I can't lie to myself any more.

so, you and I, let's call it a day.

I have written the divorce papers. I will take good care of my daughter, please rest assured. In fact, she has always been by my side, and you have little company. So she should get used to leaving you.

in the future, you don't have to go back to this stagnant house and meet this woman who you have no feelings about. You can be with that beloved wife aboveboard.

I don't know if your new home will have bright windows every day, your clothes are hung neatly in the closet, there are fancy meals on the dining table, the toilet will be repaired automatically when it breaks down, your stomach medicine will be bought automatically, and your clothes will automatically appear on the bed every season.

I don't know if that girl will worry about your drunkenness, feel bad about your overtime, fully support your career, try her best to communicate with you when encountering problems, try to solve her own troubles by herself, eat the cheapest working meal by herself, save money to buy you good red wine and decent jewelry for your mother.

Maybe one day you will find that the so-called "a pool of stagnant water" home is actually a kind of quiet time, and it was also achieved by a woman who silently tried her best.

Maybe one day you will understand that no matter how strong the love is, it can't stand the abrasion of time, and no matter how charming the smiling eyes are, you will feel nothing after watching it for a long time.

Maybe when the new person in front of you becomes an old person, you will get bored again, and then meet a girl who can make you live again. This year's flowers are better than last year's, but it's a pity that next year's flowers will be better, and you know who you are with.

maybe one day, you will also think of our little happiness together. Think of the sweat in your hand when we held hands for the first time, and think of the happy hug when we got separated on our honeymoon trip and finally found each other.

I think of you drinking warm porridge when you come back from working late at night, and I sit opposite you and tell you jokes. Thinking of our daughter's staying in our bed and refusing to leave, the three of us laughed and roughed up and rolled into a ball ...

Of course, it doesn't matter. Everything has a destiny. We have come here in this life, and it's time for the play to end. There is still more than half a life behind, and we each start a new line.