Interesting story

No one writes ink

A son from a rich family went to take an exam. His father took the exam beforehand and his score was very good. He thought he would be admitted, but unexpectedly

There is no son’s name on it. My father rushed to the county magistrate for comment. The county magistrate brought the roll to check, and saw a faint layer of gray fog on it, but no words could be seen.

As soon as his father came home, he scolded: "How come your exam paper is written in such a way that no one can read it clearly?"

The son cried: "There is no one in the exam room to polish it for me." I have to write with a pen dipped in water on an inkstone."

Old lady chanting Buddha's name

There was an old lady holding a few beads in her hand while chanting Amitabha, Amitabha. , while shouting: "Er Han, Er Han,

There are too many ants on the pot. I hate them to death. Get a fire and burn them to death for me." Then he read: "Amitabha, Amitabha

Buddha." Then he shouted: "Er Han, Er Han, help me remove the ashes from the bottom of the pot. Don't use your own dustpan, because If you want to burn it, just ask your neighbor to borrow a dustpan. Remember, remember. Amitabha, Amitabha"

A monk is never a vegetarian.

A monk is not a guest. When the master saw that he was a monk, he asked: "Master, do you drink?"

The monk smiled and said: "Drink a little wine, but I never eat vegetarian food."

Except Confused

A man complained to the county government: "I will lose my hoe tomorrow, please investigate."

The county official asked: "You slave! I will lose my hoe tomorrow." , why didn’t you come to report the crime yesterday?”

After hearing this, the clerk next to him couldn’t help but laugh. The county magistrate immediately concluded the case and said: "You must be the one who stole the hoe! What did you steal it for?"

The clerk replied: "I want to get rid of that fool."

The old man is sad

There was an old man who was rich and wealthy, with a family full of descendants. On his 100th birthday, the house was crowded with birthday guests, but the old man was very unhappy.

Everyone asked him: "You are so lucky, why are you worried?"

The old man replied: "I am not worried about anything, I am just worried about my 200th birthday. The number of people coming to congratulate has increased by hundreds and thousands.

How can I remember them all?"

Arguing for advantages

One person holds his son in his arms? While playing outside, a neighbor jokingly said: "Father and son are of the same blood. Just look at your son and you will know that his face is exactly the same as mine."

The person holding the child said: "Yes, you and this child were born from the same woman. How can your faces be different?"

Heart-broken

Two villains had malignant sores on their backs and asked a doctor to treat them. The doctor looked at one, then the second, and pretended to be horrified and said: "His heart is worse and can be cured, but your heart is so bad that it has become rotten. Call me How to get a good cure?"

Sparrow Treats

One day, the sparrow treated the birds to wine. It said to the kingfisher: "You are wearing such bright and bright clothes, so naturally please sit on the table."

It also said to the eagle: "Although you are bigger, you are wearing You are wearing dark and ugly clothes, so I have to sit down at the bottom of the table."

The eagle replied: "Why are you such a snobbish slave?"

Sparrow! He replied: "Who in the world doesn't know that I, the sparrow, have a small heart and shallow eye sockets."

Animals bully the poor

A man asked a beggar: "Dogs?" Why do they bite you when they see you?"

The beggar replied: "If I have good clothes and hats, the beasts will respect me."

The emperor. Clothes

A beggar came back from the capital and boasted that he had seen the emperor. Others asked him: "What does the emperor wear?"

Answer: "Wearing a hat carved from white jade and a robe made of gold.

”

Question: “How can I bow when I am wearing a gold robe?” "

The beggar spat at him and said: "Haha, you really don't understand the world! Now that you are the emperor, who should you bow to? "

Afraid of drowning in wine

When a customer comes into the store to buy wine, he will say the word "dun" after drinking a glass of wine and keep talking. Others will ask: "I think it's because I drank too much wine.

Are you afraid of having diarrhea, so why don’t you squat in the hair pit to get out of bed?

The man pointed at the wine glass and said: "No, I just want a ridge so that I can climb up so that I won't drown in the thin water." ”

Signboard Drawing Knife

The hotel owner asked someone to write the store sign. After the person finished writing, he drew a knife on it.

The boss was shocked Question: “What does drawing a knife mean? ”

Replied: “I want to use this knife to kill the water in the wine!” ”

Treading on a flat gourd

A hotel has a rule: any guest who comes to buy and drink wine and says the wine is sour will be punished by being tied to a wooden post.

One day, a Taoist priest came into the store carrying a big gourd. When he saw the man tied to the wooden pillar, he asked what the reason was.

"He is talking nonsense about me." The wine is sour, so I punish him. "

The Taoist priest said: "Please give me a cup and let me have a taste. "The shopkeeper brought the wine, but the Taoist priest only took one bite and ran away in a hurry.

The boss was very happy because he didn't say the wine was sour, and hurriedly greeted him: "You forgot the gourd. "

The Taoist priest said while running away: "I don't want it, I don't want it anymore. You can keep it and crush it as a sign of jealousy. "

A banner

There is a family in Huizhou who has been fighting lawsuits with others for years, and the fight makes them resentful and bored. On New Year's Eve, the father and son discussed it

said: "Next New Year, we all have to say some auspicious words to bless us with good luck in the coming year and avoid lawsuits. ”

The sons said: “Dad, let’s talk about it first.” "

The father said: "This year is good. "

The eldest son continued: "There is little bad luck. "

The younger son also said: "No lawsuit. ”

They asked someone to write a banner with three sentences and 11 words, and posted it on the nave, asking family members to recite it aloud from time to time to seek

good luck.

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Early in the morning on the first day of the new year, my son-in-law came to pay New Year's greetings. He walked to the hall and looked up when he saw the banner, and read aloud: "This year is so unlucky that I will not be allowed to file a lawsuit." "

The father and son stamped their feet anxiously and said repeatedly: "Unlucky, unlucky! ”

Scolding those who fart

A group of friends were sitting together, and suddenly someone farted. I didn’t know who it was. Everyone suspected someone and gathered to blame him. In fact, that

The man didn’t fart, and he didn’t argue, he just laughed.

Everyone asked: “What’s so funny? "

Replied: "The one who laughed at the fart also followed everyone and scolded me. "

"Pay off" every year

A man borrowed 6 taels of silver from someone, and agreed that the interest would be 5 cents for one or two months. At the end of the year, the interest would be 3 Two years later, the borrower asked the creditor to pay back 4 yuan in exchange for an IOU of 10 taels, and the creditor agreed at the end of the second year. Calculating 10 taels, the interest should be 6 taels, but the man could not pay back, so he asked for another 4 taels in exchange for an IOU of 20 taels, and the creditor agreed.

At the end of the third year, the sum of 20 taels with interest and principal and interest was 32 taels. He could not pay it back, so he asked for 8 taels in exchange for an IOU of 40 taels. The creditor hesitated, and the borrower got angry and said, "You are so heartless! The principal and interest I borrowed from you are not clearly counted in any year. I have found all the change. Why are you still not happy? ”

Yellow croaker is afraid of the smell

There was a fishmonger who picked yellow croaker with a strong step. A rich man liked his strong feet, so he hired him to lift them. Unexpectedly, he carried the sedan chair and walked

The road was very slow. The rich man asked him strangely why. The bearer replied: "The yellow croaker is afraid of the smell, so he has to go fast. What is my husband afraid of

? ”

Strange instructions before execution

A prisoner will be beheaded according to law.

When the guards tied him up, he unbuttoned his shirt, slapped his chest with his hands, and asked him what he meant.

He said, "I'm afraid I caught a cold. This is not for fun."

The officer escorted him halfway and suddenly heard the crow of a crow. He knocked his teeth three times and chanted the sutra seven times, and asked him what it meant. He

said: "The crow crows, which means there will be a quarrel. Knocking his teeth and chanting sutras was to avoid fighting with others."

Finally, when he was about to be executed, he begged the executioner: "Please wipe the knife edge clean with a piece of rough paper. ,

If the razor is not clean, I will get sores when I shave my head; if the beheading knife is not clean, when will I get better from sores? ”

One? Drunken Monkey

Someone bought a monkey, dressed it in clothes and hats, and taught it the etiquette of kneeling and worshiping, which was very decent. One day, the host hosted a banquet for guests and asked the monkey to perform a bow and salute. Everyone thought it was very cute. A guest gave it some wine, and it got so drunk that it took off its clothes and hat and rolled all over the floor. Everyone laughed and said: "This monkey looks like a human being when he doesn't drink wine, but when he drinks wine, he doesn't look like a human being anymore."

Learn to be good before death

A criminal who was about to be punished heard that there was a fool somewhere, so he invited him to give him 100 taels of silver and said: "I will give you all this money to buy good clothes." Buying good food will make a lot of money for your wife and family. In a while, the government will send officers to check on you. Please take my place and let them tie you up. They will let you go home in a few days. "

The fool saw the table full of lights and quickly agreed to take the money back. An elder in the neighborhood knew about it and hurriedly came to persuade him: "Return the silver to him quickly. What's the use of ten thousand gold if you lose your life?"

The fool said: "With the money returned, it would be foolish for me to continue living those difficult days." The old man sighed and left. A fool will spend his money, and the whole family will be very happy.

Not long after, official documents arrived calling the fool by name. The officers tied him to the execution ground and beheaded him. The fool then cried: "I regret that I listened to others' advice to this day! But I also learned well today. This is the only time I will suffer a loss!"

Black teeth and white teeth

There were two prostitutes, one had black teeth and the other had white teeth; one tried every means to hide her black teeth, and the other tried every way to show off her white teeth.

Someone asked the prostitute with black teeth what her last name was. The prostitute pursed her lips tightly, puffed out her cheeks, and whispered in her throat: "Gu." She replied: "15."

Finally, she was asked what her skills were, and she replied in her throat: "I know how to play the drum."

Others asked White Teeth what the prostitute's surname was. , the prostitute opened her mouth and replied: "Qin."

Asked how old she was, she opened her mouth again and replied: "17." Asked what she could do, she answered Opening his mouth wide, exposing all his white teeth, he said: "I know how to play the piano."

Boasting about his son

The father walked with his son. An acquaintance of the father met his son and asked, "Who is this?" He is my direct son-in-law, but he is my son."

Give me a red face

I drank a half before going to a friend's house alone. Drunk, face red. When I went to a friend's house for a banquet, I found that the wine tasted very light. The more I drank, the more tasteless it became. Even the wine I drank had made me wake up, and my face turned red. After the banquet, he said to the host: "Your wine

is very good, but please return my red face!"

I would like to be your son

An old man is described as haggard and weak, but as long as he is said to be old, he will be annoyed, and if he is praised for his youth, he will not be able to enjoy it.

After one person found out, he deliberately took advantage of him and said: "Although your beard and hair are white, your face is delicate and delicate. Not only can it be compared to a child, but also the skin of my newborn baby." Just as fresh and tender.

The old man said happily: "If your face can be so fresh and tender, I would like to be your son." ”

From fast to slow

The teacher was very angry that the master did not invite him to drink. When the students came to the school to study, he taught poetry quickly and angrily: "Spring Outing

Fangcaodi. "

The student reluctantly followed the reading with tears in his eyes. However, he understood the teacher's intention and said:

"Father"

The teacher asked: "Father, what do you do? ? ”

The student answered: “Buy meat.” "

The teacher slowed down the teaching of poetry slightly: "Appreciate the green lotus pond in summer. The student still couldn't follow, and the teacher asked again: "What does your father buy meat for?" ”

Answer: “Please, sir.” "

The teacher's anger gradually subsided, and he slowly taught the third sentence: "Drink yellow flower wine in autumn. ”

Asked again: “When will you invite me?” ”

Answer: “Just today.” "

The teacher was overjoyed and slowly and clearly taught the fourth sentence: "Winter chanting poems about white snow. ”

Open a skylight

There is a person who likes to take advantage of relatives and friends to do errands. He often takes the lead and asks everyone to pool money to host a banquet, but he should pay a share

He often kept it secret and used the extra wine money to enrich himself. The king of hell hated him for having such a bad conscience, so he was taken to the underworld and thrown into a dark prison to suffer.

But as soon as the man entered the cell door, he shouted: "This room is so dark. There are several people here now. Please collect money to open a skylight."

It’s so bright and bright. ” (The proverb is “opening the skylight” for advocates of embezzlement and corruption who gather everyone’s money.)

At the wedding banquet

There was a crazy son who often liked to say depressing words.

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One day, his brother-in-law’s family was getting married, and his father took him to a banquet with him. Just as his son was about to speak, his father said: “Marriage in his family is a happy event, so don’t say depressing words. "

The son said: "Without your instructions, I understand: 'Marriage is not a funeral. '"

Asking for a pig-head debt

A man went out for the New Year and encountered a bird dropping feces on his hat. He thought it was unlucky and wanted to offer sacrifices to the Bodhisattva to eliminate the disaster, so he went to the Bodhisattva

The butcher owed him a pig's head as a sacrifice.

Not long after, the butcher saw him and said, "I've been owed money for the pig's head for many days. It's time to pay." "

The man replied: "I owe you for many days, but I have an analogy: If this pig doesn't give birth to a head, will you come to me to ask for the pig's head money?

? "

The butcher said: "How can there be a pig without a head? ”

The man said: “Since this doesn’t make sense, I have one more thing to say: If I paid back the money last year and you ran out of it, wouldn’t there be no money left?

The butcher said: "You are even more ridiculous. If you had paid me back last year and used it, you would have saved me other money." "

The debtor lowered his head and thought for a while and said: "This doesn't make sense. I'll just make it clear to you. For example, if this bird droppings are sprinkled on your head, you

yourself A pig's head must be used as a sacrifice to gods to ward off disasters, so where is the money for a pig's head? "

The pairing of wind and rain

A teacher likes to drink, and he often goes crazy when drinking. Once, he occasionally asked students for a word pair - "rain"

Yes, the student said "wind"

He added three words: "It makes the flowers rain." ”

The student said to him: “You are drunk and crazy.” "

Five more words were added: "It rains in the garden. ”

The student said to him, “We often drink alcohol and go crazy at the banquet.”

The teacher said, “That’s right, but you shouldn’t talk about my husband’s shortcomings.” . ”

The student said: “If I don’t change my ways, I will be my teacher’s teacher.” "

Fart article

A scholar is very good at talking and is used to helping people with lawsuits. The county magistrate hated him and said: "Scholars should read with peace of mind behind closed doors

Shu, why do you need to go to the Yamen to enter and exit? I think the article you wrote must be ridiculous, I will give you a test when I come up with a question. "As he was talking, he was thinking about a topic, and suddenly he farted, so he asked him to write an essay on the topic of fart.

The scholar immediately respectfully presented the words: "The teacher raised his golden butt high and farted loudly, like the sound of silk and bamboo

The sound was as sweet as the sound of musk orchid. It smells good. It's a great honor for a young man to stand in the limelight."

The county magistrate laughed and said: "This scholar can't write serious articles, but there is a millionaire in East Street in this county. Human excrement

Pit him to stand by the cesspit and smell the scent of musk orchid more every day, so that he will not be distracted when he has nothing to do."

It will be inexhaustible.

A man asked the temple to stay at night and said, "I have things that will never be used by generations to give to your temple." The monk happily let him stay and said to him Very polite.

The next morning, the monk asked what it was. The man pointed to a tattered curtain in front of the Bodhisattva and said, "Hey, take this thing apart to make a small lamp. Bangbang, how can we use it up for generations?"

The mother of salted eggs

Two people A and B ate salted duck eggs for the first time.

A said in surprise: "The eggs I used to eat were very bland, why are these eggs so salty?"

B said: "Fortunately you asked me about this, tell me You know, this egg was born from a salted duck."

Wooden wedges stop hunger

A certain rich man was stingy and always gave his servants half a full meal. One day when he was about to go on a long journey, his servant asked, "What should I do if I get hungry on the way?"

The rich man found a rope and a wooden wedge and said, "Don't say you are hungry on the way, otherwise you will be laughed at." If you are hungry, I

just say, "I'm hungry," and I will make you feel less hungry."

After walking for a long time, the servant was hungry. If it didn't work, he hurriedly followed the rich man's instructions. The rich man quickly took out the rope and tightened the servant's belly.

Not far away, the servant shouted again. The rich man took out a wooden wedge and stuffed it into the rope. He found a brick and knocked hard on the wedge. He said, "It's so tight, so I won't be hungry anymore!" "

After he couldn't walk a few steps, the servant shouted more urgently. The rich man was furious. He untied the rope and the wooden wedge fell to the ground.

Said: "You Hungry slave, go find someone else, I have such a good guy, I don’t have to worry about no one using it.”

My rough moon

Someone often speaks in a rough manner. Modesty.

One day, he entertained guests and while he was drinking, the moon rose. The guest said happily: "The moon is so beautiful tonight!"

The man quickly raised his hand and said: "Don't dare! Don't dare! This is just a rough moon in my house."

Being an official and a robber

A few people drink wine and compose poems. Each person has to use a poem to describe a person who has the same nature as a robber. One said: "The person who takes the lead in collecting money (the person who takes the lead in collecting money)".

One person said: "Defrauding people and harming others is a bad scholar."

Another person said: "Four sedan chairs are coming to shout."

Everyone started to make a noise. "This is a government official, how can he look like a robber?"

The man replied: "Look at the people sitting in the sedan chair carried by 4 people, 9 out of 10 are better than robbers." It's awesome!"

Xiucai Trial

A fool said: "I wish I had 100 acres of land."

The neighbor said: "You. If you have 100 acres of land, I will raise 10,000 ducks and eat up all the rice in your field."

The two quarreled and went to the government for comment. When passing by the academy, I saw the high red wall and the gate tower. I thought it was a government office, so I pulled him in.

A scholar came out. They thought he was an official, so they rushed to talk about their own reasons. The scholar smiled and said: "One of you goes to buy the land first

The other goes first. Raise ducks, wait until I become an official, and then I will try this case!"

Forgot about the Dragon Boat Festival

Dragon Boat Festival, the teacher did not receive the gift, so he asked the student why. The student asked his father and came back and said: "My father forgot."

The teacher said: "I will fight you with the first couplet. If you don't agree, I will fight." The first couplet he produced was: "Han There are three heroes: Zhang Liang, Han Xinwei

Chi Gong.

"

The student couldn't answer the second couplet and was afraid of being beaten, so he cried to his father. The father said: "The pair is wrong. Duke Yuchi is from the Tang Dynasty, not the Han

Han Dynasty. "

The student reported to the teacher. The teacher smiled and said: "Your father remembers things thousands of years ago very clearly. Why did he forget yesterday on the Dragon Boat Festival?

”

Confused about being dismissed

During the Southern Song Dynasty, there was a monk in Suzhou who was drinking and causing chaos in the market. The state official ordered him to be arrested and sent a messenger to escort him to a remote place

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Fang went to punish him. The transportation was inconvenient and he was resentful, so the sticks kept coming and the monk complained endlessly.

A few days later, while staying in an inn, the monk started to escape. Jie Chai said some kind words and then took out the broken silver and invited him to drink. The greedy Jie Chai immediately took off his shackles and drank happily. After a while, the monk was drunk into a pile of mud.

He found a razor, shaved Jie Chai's head, put criminal clothes on Jie Chai, put shackles on him, and then escaped through the window.

The next day, when I woke up from drinking, I didn't see the monk, and I became anxious. But when I looked at the prison clothes on my body and the shackles on my collar, I looked at my head in the mirror and saw that it was bare, and I turned to worry. He was overjoyed and said to himself: "Haha, I wouldn't dare run away even if I tried! "But

after thinking for a while, he was stunned again: "Hey! The monk is here, where have I been? ”

The surgery was over

A soldier was hit by an arrow in his arm and was in constant pain, so he asked a famous surgical doctor to treat him.

The doctor removed the wound that was exposed outside his arm. After cutting off the arrow barrel, he asked for money and left, saying, "Who doesn't know how to cut off the arrow barrel?" But the arrow

is still in the flesh, why do you want to leave? "

The doctor shook his head and said: "I have finished the surgery. The arrow in the flesh is a matter of internal medicine! ”

Where is the coolness?

It was hot in the middle of the summer. Several officials were discussing official matters. During the chat, they talked about the hot weather and where was the best place to enjoy the coolness. Alone

said: "There is a garden with a water pavilion that is very cool. "

One person said: "There is a temple and it is very cold in the main hall. "

A commoner shouted from the side: "It's the coolest place in the Yamen court! "

The officials were surprised and asked: "Why?

The people laughed and said, "It's a place with no sun. Why isn't it cool?" ”

Rotten plate

Once upon a time there was a magistrate. When he took office, he swore to the gods: “If I want money with my left hand, I will rot my left hand; if I want money with my right hand

Money will ruin your right hand. ”

Soon, someone offered him a lot of money as a bribe. He wanted to accept it, but was afraid of breaking his oath. After thinking about it, he came up with a way: ask someone to take it. He took out an empty plate and asked the briber to put the silver in it, and then he took it in.

The official comforted himself and said: "I swore that the punishment was money, but what I received today is silver. My master." I didn't take any action. If it was rotten, it would only rot the plate, which has nothing to do with me. "

"Integrity Officials" wrote a couplet

A newly appointed county official, in order to show his integrity, posted a couplet on the door: "If you accept Mu Ye's money, heaven and earth will destroy you; if

Listen to what the government officials say, men are thieves and women are prostitutes! "The people saw this and thought he was an upright official, and were very happy.

Soon, the county official became corrupt. In order not to conflict with the couplet, all bribes had to be done openly during the day; money

The person concerned must deliver it in person, and the government servants are not allowed to handle it.

Understand the truth

The son did not like to study, so his father locked him in the study and ordered: "Read the book carefully with your eyes and think about the book again and again, and you will understand the truth from the book! "

Three days later, his father asked him if he had understood any truth from the book.

The son said seriously: "You are absolutely right! I studied according to your teachings for three days and gained a lot.

I understand:

The book turned out to be printed! "

A square snake

Someone saw a snake and exaggerated: "It is 10 feet wide and 100 feet long." ”

Of course others didn’t believe it. He then subtracted 20 feet from the snake’s length. Others still didn’t believe it, so he subtracted 30 feet,

40 feet from the snake’s length, and the result was It reached 10 feet.

Someone said: "According to you, 10 feet long and 10 feet wide, this snake -"

The man shouted awkwardly: "Oh. , became a square snake! ”

Don’t take medicine if you have it

There was a doctor who was very ill. Before he died, he shouted on his bed: “If a good doctor can cure my disease, I will be able to cure it.” If he takes the elixir of life, he will live hundreds of years! "

Chifengqiyan

There was a landowner who was very mean to his servants. He neither gave them food nor wages. The servants were all angry.

Once, a friend said to him: "I will give you a servant without food or wages. "

The landlord asked: "What will he eat if he doesn't eat? ”

The friend replied: “He learned a way to eat Fengqi cigarettes and eat nothing else all day long.” "

The landlord shook his head and said, "I don't want it. "

My friend asked: "Why? "

The landowner replied: "I hire a man and I want his excrement to fertilize the fields. The servant you recommended only smokes cigarettes and does not excrement. What kind of fertile land can I get? ! ”

Laughing at drinking and going crazy

There was a man who liked to drink and would go crazy no matter how much he drank. His wife was very angry.

Once, he asked his wife for a drink again The wife poured the ramie-soaked water into a jug and gave it to him to drink. After drinking for a while, he swayed again and started to curse: "You will become drunk and crazy after eating sesame-soaked water?

He laughed and said, "No wonder I can't get crazy no matter how much I move today!" ”

A louse

Many people were drinking together. One person felt itchy, so he scratched it and suddenly touched a louse. He was afraid that others would laugh at him

Since he was dirty, he threw the louse on the ground and pretended to be dignified and said: "I still thought it was a louse. "

A guest picked up the louse, looked at it carefully, and said to everyone: "Hey, I didn't think it was a louse." "

Coarse clothes and soft clothes

The rich man and his guests were talking in the hall, and a servant came to serve tea. He had no clothes on his body, and only used two thin tiles to cover his lower body from front to back

It was covered with a straw rope in the middle. The rich man then scolded: "How do you behave when there are guests here?" Wearing such thick clothes! Go and change into some soft clothes

quickly! "

After a while, the servant took off the tiles, replaced them with lotus leaves, and came to the hall again.

The guest said: "The expenses in the house are too extravagant! "

The rich man asked: "Where is the luxury? ”

The guest replied: “You, a servant, have both coarse and soft clothes, aren’t you extravagant?” ”

The rich man said: “When this servant comes to my house, I want him to go back to his own house to eat. I only care about his clothes.” If you don't give him a new one, how can you keep him? ”

Wood-carved food

The rich man invited guests to dinner, and the table was filled with dishes and fruit snacks. However, they were all carved from wood and painted with colors

Colorful, stained and colorful

The guest said: “Although these foods look good, they cannot satisfy hunger. "

The rich man said: "As long as you look good, you will be satisfied with it. "

Business in chanting sutras

In a riverside temple, a monk was chanting sutras. Suddenly he heard a bell ringing from the corner of the temple and called out repeatedly: "Disciple, disciple, bell

The sound was very loud, the wind must have been strong, and a boat must have been blown over in the river. I'm chanting sutras and worshiping Buddha, and I don't have time to go out. Please go salvage some things from the river bank for me.

If someone is drowning in water, never try to save them.

”

Special “Firecrackers”

On the first day of the Lunar New Year, every house will open the door and set off three firecrackers to celebrate the Spring Festival. Everyone is most taboo about the firecrackers not going off. One person said:

“Every time my family celebrates the New Year, they always tap the table three times with a ruler. It doesn't cost money, and there's no need to worry about causing a fire, and all three of the 'firecrackers' will explode, and there won't be any 'dumb explosions'! "

Limited life span

An old man celebrated his 100th birthday. A certain person congratulated him and said: "I wish you live to be 120 years old." "

The old man was very angry and accused: "I don't rely on you to support me, why do you want to limit my lifespan? Are you not allowed to live a few hundred more

years? ”

It changed instantly

A rich man farted accidentally while sitting in the living room, and there happened to be two guests next to him. One of the guests hurriedly said:

"Your fart is loud. But there is no odor at all. "

Another also said: "Not only does it not stink, it also has a strange fragrance. "

The rich man immediately said with a frown: "I heard that farts don't smell bad, so it must be that the internal organs are damaged and death is coming. Am I going to die?

Am I going to die? "

A guest hurriedly raised his hand in the air and sniffed several times with his nose:

"The smell is coming. "

The other person wrinkled his nose, sniffed it a few times, covered his nose with his hand and said: "Oh, the smell here is even worse. "

Standing at Thirty

The teacher gave a topic of "Standing at Thirty" and asked two students to explain the topic.

A student wrote: " The two fifteen-year-olds dare not sit on chairs and benches even though they are available. "

Another student wrote: "I am over half the age of sixty, but I still have to stand on two legs. ”

Two clay statues

There are two clay statues in a temple: the Taoist founder Laojun is on the left, and the Buddhist founder Sakyamuni is on the right. As usual, the left ratio

You have a high status

One day, a monk came in and saw him and said very dissatisfied: "My Buddha has infinite power, how can I be inferior to Laojun?

What? "So they moved the Buddha statue to the left side of the Laojun statue.

A Taoist priest saw it and said angrily: "Our Taoist ancestors are extremely noble, how can we succumb to Buddhism and put it on the right side

What? "As he said that, he moved the Laojun statue to the left side of the Buddha statue.

The two kept moving each other back and forth, and actually broke the two clay statues.

Identify the character "鱼"

Someone asked how to write the character "鱼", and someone else wrote him the character "鱼" (the traditional Chinese character for "鱼"). He faced it

Looking at the character horizontally and vertically, he finally shook his head: "This character has two horns on its head and four legs at its feet. Where does a fish swimming in the water get its horns and legs

? ”

The writer said: “This is indeed the word for ‘fish’. If you say it’s not, what is that word?”

He shook his head and said seriously: "Look, it has horns and legs. It must be an animal that walks on land." What the word is,

It depends on the size you write: if you write it big, it must be cow; if you write it medium, it is deer; if you write it small, it is sheep

Up. ”

The name is glorious

There was an old lady Wang who was rich and easy to talk big. She made herself a coffin and wanted to inscribe an inscription on it, so she made a lot of

The Taoist priest was given a lot of money and asked to think of a glorious name so that he would have a good reputation after his death. The Taoist priest thought about it and finally wrote this sample title: "Hanlin Academy." The Grand Master and the Imperial College held a ceremony to offer wine to the coffin of Granny Wang next door. ”