"Parental Love" is selfish and utilitarian, but has been pampered by women all his life. Why is Lao Ding said to be a tragedy?

His death was without warning. It was just an ordinary day. He died because of constipation.

Suddenly I remembered what An Jie said: "It wasn't windy or raining, so I just made fun of people."

Old Ding died neatly and without dragging down his family. He didn't suffer, but he left indelible pain on those around him. Regarding Lao Ding, most people say that he is selfish and utilitarian, but very good at life. His two wives doted on him.

After Wang Xiu'e died in childbirth, he met Dehua who was devoted to him and took care of the entire family for her.

On the surface, Lao Ding has indeed been pampered by women all his life.

But when I deeply analyze this character, I feel endless sadness. I think he must have felt regret and reluctance when he left.

I originally wanted to write an article criticizing Lao Ding, but after seeing his death, I understood this character again. He is not the lucky one in everyone's eyes, he is a real tragic figure. First: Can’t get rid of the feudal marriage

Lao Ding and Wang Xiu’e are in a feudal marriage. Lao Ding always wanted to escape but was trapped in it. Wang Xiu'e is a good woman, but she is illiterate and does not speak the same language as Lao Ding.

When Jiang Defu got home, he could flirt with An Jie.

When Lao Ding returned home, he only had firewood, rice, oil and salt. Many times, what I saw was that Wang Xiu'e was making noises on the other side, while Lao Ding was calm on the other side.

This family, with three eldest sons, seems happy to outsiders, but for Lao Ding, all that remains is loneliness and a heavy burden.

He had nowhere to talk about the pressure at work and the depression in life. Even if he talked to Wang Xiu'e, he might not be able to understand.

Some people say that Lao Ding is cowardly. If he were as brave as Jiang Defu, he could get rid of the feudal marriage. But you have ignored, what are Jiang Defu's conditions?

His parents died young and there is no pressure to support him in old age.

It doesn’t matter whether you and your wife have children or not. He wants a divorce and has a lot less sunk costs. Besides, if Zhang Guiying hadn't done something wrong to Jiang Defu, he wouldn't have been able to divorce her.

As for Lao Ding, there are seniors above him and juniors below. He has to support a large family by working alone, and he simply cannot afford to lose.

From another dimension, he is so eager to escape, but still fulfills his responsibilities as a husband and father, which is enough to show that Lao Ding is a kind and responsible person deep down in his heart.

The gap between him and Wang Xiu'e could not be bridged, so he chose to accept it.

Of course, he is also jealous. He is jealous that Jiang Defu has married a beautiful and educated wife and is living a peaceful life. Therefore, he often laughed at Jiang Defu and spread rumors that Anjie could not do anything.

He belittles the other person in this way in order to seek inner balance.

Other than that, he did not do anything bad to the Jiang Defu family.

Even if he has a good impression of Anjie, he is acting out of affection rather than politeness. When Jiang Defu went to Songshan Island, he took care of An Jie in every way, but maintained a sense of proportion.

Although Jiang Defu can criticize Lao Ding, he also knows that at critical moments, Lao Ding is reliable.

That’s why Dehua was married to him later.

The gap between Lao Ding and Jiang Defu is not a matter of ability, but fate. Jiang Defu could bid farewell to feudal marriage and marry love, but Lao Ding did not have such good luck.

Lao Ding is like an ordinary man. He knows that there is no love in marriage, but he still holds on hard, not for anything else, just to live up to his own conscience. The result of doing so is to suppress your own needs and plunge yourself into the abyss of loneliness and coldness. Lao Ding was trapped in this marriage for the first half of his life, with no way out. Second: Disillusionment with love

After Wang Xiu'e died in childbirth, Lao Ding took his young son to Songshan Island.

The first thing he did when he arrived on the island was to find a partner for himself. I wrote in yesterday's article that before Wang Xiu'e's body was cold, Lao Ding was in a hurry to find a house to fill. This is the cruelty of human nature.

But from another perspective, I can also understand him. If Wang Xiu'e had not passed away, he would have grown old with her. But when an accident occurs, for Lao Ding, there is a chance to change his destiny.

It is impossible for anyone to let go when faced with an opportunity.

Lao Ding never tasted love in the first half of his life. His biggest dream in the second half of his life is to find a woman like An Jie and live a life like Jiang Defu.

So, he found Ge Meixia. Like Anjie, she had a bad birth, but luckily she was beautiful and could read and write. But the superiors did not approve the marriage between Lao Ding and her, so he had to give up.

Many people say that Lao Ding is not generous enough. If, like Jiang Defu, he wants to get married without an official position, then this matter will be done. There is a conversation between Jiang Defu and Lao Ding that is enough to get a glimpse of the answer.

Jiang Defu: "Why don't you fight for it?"

Old Ding: "How to fight for it?"

Jiang Defu: "How to fight for it and still need me to teach you? Back then How did I fight for it?" Lao Ding: "Can this time be compared with the past?" Jiang Defu: "Why can't you compare it? How could you know if you didn't try it? If you choose the same, you are living a good life now, you have not lost your military status, and your wife is still married."

Old Ding: "I have a mother and father to support me, and I have four people like wolves. Tiger’s son has to be raised, what will happen if I go home?”

Yes, Old Ding can’t afford to lose. In the face of his family's survival, he could only abandon himself. Giving up Ge Meixia became Lao Ding's inner pain.

When he later learned that Ge Meixia was going to marry Wang Zhenbiao, when he saw Ge Meixia, his heart was filled with anger and shame. That was the closest he came to love, but it was just one step away.

Later, he found Dr. Wu to help. This woman was not as good as Ge Meixia, but she was good and educated. It's a pity that Dr. Wu is not only arrogant and domineering, but also conceals his marriage history.

This relationship is over again. In the end, Lao Ding chose Dehua.

It was not that he was moved by Dehua, but that he accepted his fate.

He was so eager to change his destiny, but in the end he was still disgraced, which made people laugh.

The failure of those two relationships made him finally realize that choosing the right one is more practical than choosing love.

De Hua is undoubtedly the best candidate. One is De Hua who is hard-working and capable and willing to accept his children. The other is Jiang Defu, De Hua’s brother and has a higher position than him. As long as they get married, , which is equivalent to "relatives of the emperor and the country", and can avoid many detours.

But is he really willing to choose Dehua? I remember one time when Lao Ding got drunk and hung An Jie's portrait in his room. It was his last rebellion against life.

In the days to come, he chose to put his dreams aside and live a good life with Dehua. In the second half of his life, with Dehua by his side, his life seemed pleasant, but after all, something spiritual was missing.

Jiang Yaning once said to An Jie:

“You don’t have to feel guilty. Really, although my father lost a lot in his official career, he gained more in life. For example, a civilized life, an interesting and sentimental life, etc. Just like my aunt and uncle, what kind of life does my uncle live, and what kind of life does my father enjoy? "

Isn’t it a tragedy that Lao Ding never got the ideal love in his life and left in such a hurry? The saddest thing about life is that you can't get what you want, and what you get is not what you want. But this result is the fate of most people. Third: Ordinary people cannot resist fate

In Lao Ding, ordinary people can find the voice of ***. Jiang Defu is good, but few people are as lucky as him.

More people are like Lao Ding, compromising again and again in the torrent of life until they reconcile with themselves and the world. Accepting feudal marriage was Lao Ding's first reconciliation with life.

In that general environment, arranged marriages were prevalent, and everyone was in a loveless marriage, where they would fight and fight all their lives. No matter how unwilling I am, I can only give in.

After going to Songshan Island, two relationships failed and he married Dehua, which was his reconciliation with himself.

Accept the destiny and choose a real life. This is the life of ordinary people.

Lao Ding’s utilitarianism and selfishness are also true human nature. A very controversial point about him is that when Jiang Defu and An Jie were dating, Lao Ding asked Jiang Defu not to tell An Jie that he was married.

This is considered to be very scheming. In fact, it is understandable from the environment in which Lao Ding grew up.

Lao Ding was born in a rural area and must have suffered a lot.

People who have been immersed in suffering naturally have a self-defense mechanism. They are too inferior and too fearful, afraid of showing their weaknesses and facing the pain of loss.

Lao Ding also has some utilitarian benefits, such as replacing Jiang Defu in the school.

I would like to ask, in the face of interests, how many people can not do it for themselves?

Because life is too real, the weak will eat the strong. For ordinary people without background and resources, if they don’t compete, they will only be eliminated.

Old Ding’s life seemed very stable on the surface, but in fact it was the core of tragedy. His tragedy was created by the general environment and forced by life.

He wishes he could pursue love desperately like Jiang Defu, but he has no capital, so he can only tremble and accept the reality.

Lao Ding is different from Jiang Defu. He has an elder and a younger one. If he wants to consider himself, he has to sacrifice his family's life, which he can't do. It is said that middle-aged people are inferior to dogs. Isn’t Lao Ding the best portrayal of him?

Everyone said that Lao Ding deserved it, but who could see the helplessness and pain deep in this man's heart.