Short and classic funny sentences

1. Sighing is the most wasteful thing, and crying is the most wasteful thing.

Close my eyes and I see my future. ...

If the road is rough, just shout and go on.

4. You don't know what dependence is until you drop your belt.

Life is sometimes like a computer. If it collapses, it collapses. It's not negotiable.

6. the sea is wide and the fish jumps, and the drums are broken.

7. The grievances that can be said are not grievances; A lover who can be taken away is not a lover.

8. Smoke is not obedient, so we smoke.

9. The place where a person cares more is the place where he feels most inferior.

10. I don't want to hurt you either. Go to the zoo to see if there is a job suitable for you. If you run in the street like this, you will be easily hit.

1 1. Someone challenged me and said, Bring it on. I didn't answer, but ran away and knocked him down with Monday morning quarterback.

12. If I don't beat you, I will turn against you …

13. The wind is rustling and the water is cool, and the strong men don't stop diarrhea!

14. I caught a frog and put it in the water to learn' breaststroke' with the frog. I learned it in a few days! I caught another dog and threw it into the water. I learned to' plane the dog' in a few days! I caught another sheep and put it in the water to learn backstroke. A few days later, the sheep died! Suddenly one day when I wanted to learn butterfly stroke, my father was scared away!

15. After a few decades, we will meet again and send them to the crematorium. All of them will be burned to ashes, one for you and one for me. Nobody knows each other, and all of them will be sent to the countryside to make fertilizer.

16. In Africa, when the gazelle wakes up every morning, it knows that it must run faster than the fastest lion, or it will be eaten. When the lion wakes up every morning, he knows that he must catch up with the slowest gazelle, or he will be hungry.

17. When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me. ...

18. If you want to know what despair is, buy a bunch of lottery tickets.

19. Sincerity is not as good as a red envelope. Feelings are just sexual needs.

20. Once you learn to break the jar and break the fall, you will find the world suddenly enlightened.

2 1. Do things when awake, read books when confused, and sleep when angry.

22. knowing what you can do shows that you are growing; Knowing what you can't do shows that you are maturing.

23. I think there are only two kinds of people in the world who can attract people. One is beautiful, the other is you.

The biggest difference between doing and not doing is that the latter has the right to comment on the former.

25. Life is like an angry bird. There are always a few pigs laughing when they fail.

26. Youth is like mahjong. You must shoot or touch yourself. How many otaku and rotten women have been counted, and how many institutions have been counted, just to enjoy the moment of being knocked down.

27.20xx disappointed me, because I thought 20xx would be the end of the world, so I donated all my possessions to others …

28. Happiness is a comparative level. You can't feel it until something is at the bottom.

29. Take other people's road and leave others with no way out.

30. Rich people hold a money field, and those who have no money go home and get some money to hold a money field.

3 1. The Fairy Descent tells the story of Yong Dong riding a fairy!

One day, I dreamed that I had spent all my money. When I woke up, my pocket was really empty. ...

There are two things in this world that can change people, one is time, and the other is suffering.

34. A person is not alone, but when he misses someone.

35. I am a bird. I can't fly high because the cage is too high!

When you grow up, marry Tang Yan to be your husband. Play if you can. If you can't play, you can eat him

37.death Whether you are a lion or a gazelle, you'd better start running when the sun rises.

38. I want to be an angry bird and hit those pigs.

39. Zhuge Liang never took a single soldier before he came out of the mountain! Why do I need work experience?

40. boycott breast enhancement surgery and don't pollute the last safe milk source!

Eight years ago, I got into the bad habit of smoking and a roommate got into the good habit of drinking milk. Now, I am alive and well, and my roommate is dead. Because in China, cigarettes have no tobacco, and milk is poison.

I don't know whether people will go to heaven or hell after death. I'm going to the crematorium anyway!

43. I am really not handsome! I'm more handsome than a cricket!

44. I am not an ordinary person, so I don't speak Mandarin.

45. When an awesome person like me wants someone to appreciate me, I will look in the mirror.

46. If I don't consider my height, I'm handsome from the neck down!

47. The food in the canteen is terrible, but after eating the food cooked by my wife, I decided to continue eating in the canteen!

48. Journey to the West tells us that all monsters with backstage were taken away, and those without backstage were killed by a stick.

49. When I was having dinner with my friend, my friend gave me a bullwhip to make up my food. I suddenly realized, looked back at my ass and said sadly, "I ate too much chicken ass when I was a child!" " "

Sometimes, when waiting in line for a meal in the canteen, the greatest comfort is not that there are fewer and fewer people in front, but that there are more and more people waiting behind.

5 1. Stand higher and pee farther.

52. It's hard to be single, and it's even harder to be single for a long time. I felt very happy when I saw a sow yesterday.

53. Money is not everything. Sometimes you still need a credit card …

54. The lowest goal of a college student: peasant woman, mountain spring and a little field!

55. I really don't know whether the game is for people or for people.

Short and interesting classic sentences short and classic sentences

1: An intelligence test is to see how stupid you really are. There are difficulties to help, and there are no difficulties to create difficulties. In the face of beauty, it is revised as: there is danger to save, and no danger can create danger.

It may seem possible, but not necessarily.

4: Brother, I will throw a brick first. Throw the jade if you have it.

5: When I was a child, I liked to play hide and seek. When others hide, I will go home for dinner.

6: People who play Go just love to rob.

7: I drown my sorrows in wine, but I learned to swim in this damn pain. Water can carry a boat and cook porridge!

8: If you can't dress your woman in a wedding dress, don't stop your hand from unbuttoning her clothes!

9: If eating more fish can nourish the brain and make people smart, then I should eat at least a pair of whales.

10: Youth is like toilet paper. It looks a lot, but it's not enough.

1 1: I can't play chess, I can't draw, and I'm tired of washing and cooking.

12: Do you think I will watch you die? I close my eyes.

13: you are cheap or not, mistress is here. Infertility. Someone's purpose: one cobbler kills three Zhuge Liang.

14: I have lived for more than 20 years and have done nothing for the motherland and the people. Every time I think about it, my heart aches.

15: When farting, have you ever thought about the feeling of underwear, have you, have you?

16: Don't wait until everyone says you're ugly before you realize that you're really ugly.

17: I never write typos, but I write common words.

18: Love is like pi, which is endless.

Short and funny classic sentences

1, the world is so big, I feel so unlucky to know you.

2. "Happiness" means eating and sleeping.

The success of a person's life depends on the memorial service.

I never dare to think whether tomorrow will be better. I just want to eat my next meal.

5. Come on, you live like a jack-o'-lantern, and you still want to illuminate others?

6. I never hold grudges. Usually I report it on the spot.

7. My mother asked me if I had a boyfriend, and I said no. My mother said: I can have this, and I said: I really don't have this. ...

8. innovation is to pick up the sheets that have been sleeping for two months, shake them, and then spread them with the other hand.

9. A man wants to divorce his wife when he makes money. When a man can't make money, his wife wants to divorce him.

10, I winked at you, and you insisted that it was discharge.

1 1. I am ugly, so you have to be patient.

12, the first ray of sunshine in the morning spilled on my ass, and my mood suddenly became excited.

13, if it's true, I want to see you more, and I'm afraid I'll forget you in the future.

14, if I don't hit you, you won't know that I am actually both civil and military.

15, on a business trip today. Don't look for me if there are small things, and don't look for me if there are big things!

16, beautiful or not, look at the thigh. Pure and impure, look at the labia.

17, Four Greasy: No one came to the party, no one called the BB machine, and the daughter-in-law didn't want to make trouble. If you want to cause trouble, you must wear a condom.

18, wildflowers can't be picked everywhere, but I prefer you who are the wildest in the wild.

19, when the electric fan became a hair dryer, I felt that life lost its meaning.

20. If you are drunk, you won't obey anyone, just hold the wall.

2 1, look at the world with a psychotic eye.

22. The waves behind the Yangtze River push the waves ahead, and each generation is more turbulent than the next.

23. If you call me a sissy again, I'll turn against you!

24. If one day my sister becomes cruel and crazy, please tell others that my sister is a lady.

Everything is wrong. It is not easy for me to live to 15.

26. Some people took it off. As soon as she became famous, some people lost it. She slept with the director.

27. You said that the moon represents your heart, so will you give me your heart or pick the moon for me?

28. I bought a pack of cockroach medicine on Baidu. As a result, when I opened it, a live cockroach ran out.

29. If there are many trees, there will be dead branches, and if there are many people, there will be idiots.

Your excuse is really better than yours.

3 1, whoever molests my wife, I will dig my ancestral grave.

32. Girl, if a man pauses the game in order to reply to your text message, marry him!

33. To sum up, many people are pretending to be mature, not young.

34. Brushing your teeth is a mixed blessing. Cup in one hand and washing utensils in the other.

35. I feel a little sad. I can't see your head and your information anymore …

36. Who are you making faces with? I owe you an overdue loan or something.

37. You don't have to say anything. I understand everything. You want to say I'm beautiful?

38. Do you think you will watch you die? I close my eyes.

39. Journey to the West tells us that all monsters with backstage were taken away, and those without backstage were killed by a stick.

40. Me Before You, my world is black and white. After I met you, oh, Meg! It's all black ...

4 1. When men are enlightened and women are enlightened, the world will naturally be peaceful.

42. Are you a Pacific policeman? That's a pretty big tube.

43. Few people get an electric shock by themselves, and that is me.

44. Use a block printing machine. Make money quickly

45. The meaning of children's words is actually to treat what children say as fart.

46, the so-called loneliness, is to live with a person you can no longer dig out the novelty.

47. I have been suffering from insomnia recently. I wake up every 16 hours.

48. Do you know what humor is? Humor is the impulse to laugh when you cry.

49. A thief knows martial arts, and no one can stop him.

50, from the way you show off in an ostentatious manner, I know you must be embarrassed. Come out to play with me!

A short classic joke

Short classic funny joke 1: 1, the wife feels the protruding belly: husband, come on, give the baby prenatal education.

Husband came over and knocked on his stomach: hello, is anyone there? I've said it several times, damn it, why don't you talk?

A wife's slap is a slap: how can you talk to a child like this? Too vulgar, don't stab his mother in the future!

Today, my wife and I quarreled. Without saying anything, that bitch told me to get out. I was angry and roared: Everything in this house is mine. Why should I go out?

At this time, I saw the woman touching her 6-month-old belly and coldly saying, well, not necessarily.

3. Get used to smoking after passion. My wife said: you smoke before you do it, and you smoke after you finish it.

I said, I've never smoked.

After a while, my wife told me she was sorry. There is a mistake.

That's more like it. If you are wrong, admit it! ! !

8. A: My son is over 1.8 meters tall, which is a whole head taller than me.

Be careful, this is not your son.

A: Impossible. I saw my wife give birth in the hospital.

B: You only saw it coming out, not going in.

4. M: Marry me! ! !

Woman: If you want me to promise you, yes, see the woman with heavy makeup across the street! Go over there and give her two big slaps! I'll accompany you to get the certificate right away!

Without saying anything, the man used to slap and slap. . .

Without saying anything, the woman received the certificate directly from the man.

Man: Now that we are husband and wife, can you tell me why you hit her?

Woman: You are shameless! How many jobs have you robbed me all morning!

Short classic funny second paragraph:

1, I watched Korean dramas with my wife last night. When I saw the emotional place, I said that I suddenly wanted to experience the feeling of being loved.

My wife immediately slapped me and said, this is the feeling of sadness!

12, wife: unhappy, want to curse!

Husband: Then no matter how hard you scold me, you will be happy.

Wife: Do I have to emphasize it again? Only! Want to! Scold! People!

Husband. . .

2. Wife: Husband, I feel that my whole body is full of the breath of classical women, and I want to be a gentle and elegant girl in the future.

Me: What did you say?

Wife: I said I want to be a lady from now on!

Me: What, say it again?

Wife: Your sister, go away and let me repeat it several times!

I

3. Wife: Xiao Ou in your company is so beautiful!

Husband: Everyone says so!

Wife: What do you think?

Husband: Since last night, I have been against it.

Wife: Why?

Husband: I'm older than you without makeup.

Short classic funny third paragraph:

1, I asked my boyfriend how big the A cup is.

He said, straighten your legs and touch your knees. About this big. I assure you with rich experience. . .

2. Two men fell in love with a female netizen named Qu at the same time! One of the men changed the screen name to Rhapsody in order to imply beauty!

Another man saw it, thought about it, and changed the screen name to Crazy Episode!

Later, the female netizen decisively agreed to the crazy episode!

3. rub hemp with colleagues in the middle of the night. A colleague's wife called: Husband, the sewer at home is blocked. If you don't come back, I'll let someone else poke you.

Colleagues immediately got up and left.

4, other men are fighting for their wives outside, and the wife is silently cheering for her husband.

And I am also fighting for my wife, and I have to cheer for my wife when I go home.

What's the situation . . .