I am ugly, but I am persistent.

1 It's time to spend the honeymoon with each other, and Yang is watching the fun.

2 A good horse never turns to grass, so it always goes hungry.

3 I don't know my length, but I don't know your depth.

5 you are really cricket, much more beautiful than cricket.

6 mixing entertainment circles is like playing mahjong. If you want to be a big name, you have to give up a pot of chicken!

7 The representative figure of charm: Master Kong. Thousands of people soak it every day.

3 network classic funny quotations _ I'm ugly but I'm persistent

8 Today, a group of Japanese people came to visit our school. To be honest, this is the first time I've seen Japanese people wearing clothes!

9 men who are not good to women will be reincarnated as sanitary napkins in their next life!

1 I can't fly, no matter for whom.

11 Don't keep loading, loading and loading like a garbage can ...

12 Cucumber must be photographed, and life must be high.

Chang 'e, you can leave the canopy. Look how old the Jade Emperor is!

14 I am ugly, but I am persistent!

15 No one can share the real pain with you-you can only change it from one shoulder to your other.

16 knowledge is like underwear, invisible but important.

17 What is your vital capacity? You can blow cow B so big.

18 a man has some money in his pocket, and he will not be idle from the waist down!

19 It's really important to choose a name. On that day, I saw a person with a smart name, called Silver Sword. Unfortunately, his surname is Fan.

2 I didn't want to marry a wife but married me.

21 when you ask what the world is like, you just ask people to take off their clothes and pants.

22 I'm very happy to find twenty cents. When I pick it up, it looks like money from 1992. It's overdue.

23 You should go with the tide, not with it.

24 I wish I could COpY the hardware at any time!

25 what's the use of a handsome man? Can I use my face to swipe my card at the bank?

26 don't eat what's in the bowl, just eat with the pot in your arms.

27 Please promise not to change your name in my next life, so that I can find you easily.

28 I skipped classes too much. I wanted to go to class one day. When I met the professor, the professor was surprised and said, I haven't seen you for such a long time, and I've grown so big.

29 women like bad-looking men, not bad-looking men ..

3 stars can't see mental retardation without being interviewed. Appreciation of 3 classic funny quotations

1. I saw someone posting a dog-seeking notice on a tree: This is a photo of our lost dog. If you see it, please call us! So I called and said, I saw the picture of your lost dog!

2. My salary is a little higher than dad's every month. He worked late at the end of last month. I asked him how to add it to the present, and he said, my salary will be ten yuan higher than yours. What a smug face! I said: Is this necessary? He said: yes, because you threatened the position of the head of my family! Me:

3. Junior high school students set up a group and wanted to bring all the students in the class, but I forgot how many people were in the class at that time. When everyone was thinking hard, a classmate said 54 people, I am very sure! At that time, I was always the last and the 54th! Everyone unanimously passed, after all, this figure is too authoritative.

4. I invited some friends to play cards in the morning, but my girlfriend was not allowed to go out. I touched her face lightly and went out. I didn't get home until now. Before she could speak, I said, Baby, your skin is so elastic! I touched it in the morning and was ejected so far that I almost got lost and couldn't come back.

5. Today, I was eating in a restaurant. There was a couple at the next table. The man came over and took out a pack of high-grade cigarettes and asked me if I had a lighter. I took out a dollar and told him to buy it in the supermarket opposite me.

6. A: My wife is specializing in cooking at home recently, and I can hardly stand it. B: isn't it a good thing to specialize in cooking, so you can have a good time. A: The key is that she innovates all day, such as fried peppers with apples, sliced pork soup with watermelon pulp, and fried litchi with eggs. . . B: So she can eat it herself? A: She's not that stupid. She made me try it. . . I've already stretched my legs. .

7. Once in the library, a big brother at the table took out a bag of bread slices and a cup of strong yogurt before sitting down for five minutes, poured milk on the bread, ate it with relish in front of us, and swept the crumbs to a glasses girl next to him. After a while, the phone rang. He gave a loud hello, just like the big boss, and went to the window to answer the phone. At this time, the glasses girl next to him suddenly took out a bottle of something, such as face-wiping milk, and then quickly squeezed a lump on his half-bitten bread, not to mention, I really couldn't tell the difference. Glasses girl packed her books and got up and left. We were dumbfounded at this table and all followed her to pack up and leave.

8. My colleague resigned and invited him to drink last night! Half drunk, he grabbed my brother, only you are good to me, and I have to repay you, huh? Do you know the ladies' room in the third factory building of the company? Well, there is a row of trees behind the ladies' room, near the fourth factory building. The third one squats there, well, there is wifi and three grids!

9. In the swimming pool, my boyfriend just learned to swim. Suddenly, a dog jumped down and swam with excitement. I saw my boyfriend angrily pull out, picked up a wooden stick and ran after him: Do you want to teach me? Lao tze want you to teach? Me. . .

1. There are always people on the bus who don't give up their seats to the elderly and say that others have no quality. Who are they? Is this pot calling the kettle black interesting? I'm not like this. I'm not as incompetent as they are. I just don't give up my seat and don't say anything else.

11. I went shopping with my wife one day and walked. An old woman shouted to us: Do you know where to sell apples (fruits)? My wife and I said in unison: the specialty store! Looking at the back of grandma's departure, my wife said: Husband, look at her husband! Buy her an apple (mobile phone) when she is so old! You also give me a romantic time!

12. My female boss scolded me for my work status, and I kept my head down. This reaction may have angered her. She changed her calm tone and growled: Why don't you speak? Don't you refuse to accept it? I explained: no, my girlfriend won't let me talk to beautiful women!

13. One day, our family was chatting. I had never heard of someone and asked my dad who this person was. My dad said, This is my period. Me: You still have your period?

14. Take your son to a barbecue! Son: Dad, the teacher said that the barbecue was not clean and would not let us eat it! Dad: Waiter, get a soda! Son: Dad, our teacher says soda is bad for our health. Let's drink less! Dad: Why do you listen to everything except your teacher?

15. The barking of a sheep means the word sheep with a mouth, the barking of a dog means the word dog with a mouth, and the barking of a bird means the word bird with a mouth, so I always do.

16. When a robber was caught, his lawyer told him in advance that he must behave better during the trial and try to reduce his sentence. The robber nodded in agreement! Judge: defendant, you robbed in broad daylight. Have you considered the impact on society? It's really bad. Robber: Your Honor, I do have the people in mind! Judge: Then tell me, what have you considered? Robber: On the day of robbery, I caught a cold. I wore a mask, just for fear of infecting others! Judge:

17. As soon as we went on a blind date, we ate at the woman's house. It was bowl after bowl, about seven or eight bowls later. The matchmaker really couldn't stand it: Young man, just eat seven points full. Two seconds back: then I can eat two more bowls, and then there will be no more.

teacher: Xiao Ming, do you have any ideals when you grow up? Xiaoming: I want to own a passenger plane! Everyone else wants to buy tickets, teacher, you don't have to! Teacher: Hmm! Have ambition! Thank you too! Xiao Ming: Then check the tickets when flying in the air. There are no tickets? Get out!

19. My best friend applied for a job as the secretary of a company boss. As soon as she went to work, the proprietress lectured: To be a female secretary, you should know the rules, not like your predecessor! ! Boss, what happened to the former secretary? I am the ex! .

2. Someone boasted: I saw a play today, which was really enjoyable! A man asked: What play? Beijing Opera Bao Gong Chops Cao Cao. No, Bao Gong belongs to the Song Dynasty, and Cao Cao belongs to the Three Kingdoms. The age difference is nearly a hundred years. How can Bao Gong cut Cao Cao? You don't know Lao Bao's temper. As long as he is a bad guy, he still cares about the Song Dynasty and the Three Kingdoms.

21. YiErhuo set the ringtone of his mobile phone to grandpa, and that grandson called you again. Once on a bus, his cell phone rang, and I only heard him calmly say, What's wrong with Dad?

22. In order to let my son get up early for school, I deliberately set the alarm clock in his bedroom forward ten minutes. One day, I overheard him bragging to his classmates on the phone: Do you know how big my home is? There is a time difference of 1 minutes from my bedroom to the gate.

23. The traffic police stopped a car at the intersection of traffic lights. The traffic police said: if you don't stop, the wheels are pressed. The driver said: This is my grand finale. The traffic police said: I don't think you took out your brake mace. The driver said, I have a good grasp. I didn't crush the line, did I? The traffic police said: this is a high-voltage line, so you can't touch it. The driver said: it doesn't matter, my wheels are insulators.

24. In the afternoon, I went shopping with my best friend in the same T-shirt I bought together. I stopped at a coffee shop and saw two handsome guys sitting next to each other. They have been looking at us and whispering. Let's whisper and discuss which of the two handsome guys is more handsome. Suddenly, one of them suddenly came over. It made our hearts beat faster and the deer bumped into each other! The handsome boy smiled shyly at us and said, two beautiful women, where did you buy this pair of clothes? My boyfriend wants it too.

25. Girl: Experts say that both men and women in love are idiots! Boy: What about us? Girl: You chased me first, and I reluctantly agreed to you! Boy: Oh, then I am a congenital idiot, and you are an acquired idiot!

26. She has always wanted to experience the feeling of walking in the rain with me. Finally, we waited for a long-lost rain, and we had a tacit understanding that we didn't bring an umbrella on the date that day. But we didn't get along happily that day, and she caught a cold, but I didn't. Because I am wearing a raincoat. This article comes from

27. It's getting cold. She knitted a scarf for the male god. After giving it to the male god, the male god even praised her: The craft is really good. I like this fishing net very much.

28. On the second day of junior high school, one weekend afternoon, I went out to play ball games and came back to watch TV after taking a shower and eating. Mom: Your girlfriend called home this afternoon and said that she left her card in your schoolbag and asked you to bring it to her tomorrow. Me: No way. Her hair is so short that I have never seen her use a hairpin. Mom: Tell me. Me:

29. I am very strong in nature and I am self-reliant. Since the day I graduated, I have never asked my parents for a penny. I usually call them directly and ask them to remit money to my bank account.

3. Patient: Actually, my girlfriend is very beautiful, and I am dying. I really can't bear to part with her. Doctor: That's all right. Let me help you. Patient: You will cure me? Doctor: No, I can take care of your girlfriend. 1. Those who believe in fate follow it, while those who don't believe in it are dragged by it.

2. Do you drink water, drink water or drink water? Take your pick!

3, women chasing men, interlayer yarn. Men chasing women, mezzanine mom.

4. reneging on one's word is my style, betraying others is my present situation, and living a long life is my result.

5. Love all of a person, including her cotton trousers.

6. When you have money, you say that money is earned. When there is no money, say that money is saved.

7. I'm not your little raccoon, so it's fun to play without you.

8. The current playboy is because it was more attentive than anyone else.

9, the so-called threshold, the past is the door, the past is the threshold.

1. Some men are as smart as the weather. Some women are as stupid as the weather forecast, and she can't see the weather changing.

11. Behind every successful man, there is a woman who is full and has nothing to do.

12. Women's wrinkles are old, while men's wrinkles are vicissitudes.

13. The tortoise can beat the rabbit, but actually it just goes its own way.

14, parents are not around, remember to button your clothes, and be careful of cold air entering the robbery!

15. Most people want to transform the world, but few people want to transform themselves.

16. If you are the one, the female guest will put out a man's light again, and the aunt downstairs in the dormitory can put out the whole building!

17. It is said that bitter melon is not sweet, so I like bitter gourd.

18. God said there should be light, but I said I opposed it, so there was darkness in the world.

19. I'm an animal when I take off my clothes, but I'm devil wears prada when I put on my clothes!

2. Part I: Maybe it seems to be; Bottom line: However, it may not be impossible.

21. Don't always say that you are all right. Nothing is nothing.

22. You think too complicated about others because you are not simple.

23. I long for freedom, but the human body doesn't know how to climb out of the dog hole!

24, how many years, my toilet seat has never been lifted!

25. You, you, you, you, you push me again, and I will feed you Sanlu.

26. I took part in the pigeon-letting competition in the city yesterday, but I went alone.

27. Xiao San is nothing. He is only a person at best.

28. Youth is like a dandelion, seemingly free, but involuntarily.

29. Don't think I'm unattainable just because I'm handsome. In fact, I'm a sea of rivers.

3. The person who is angry with you will never know how many times he has put up with you.

31. In the dead of night, I often ask myself whether it was right or wrong to decide to come to Earth.

32. Are you dissatisfied with the world by dressing like this?

33. I have a cool mini skirt, but unfortunately my legs are not mini enough.

34. When dealing with people, listen more and talk less. This is why God gave us a mouth and two ears.

35. Don't look at me with innocent eyes like a puppy, it will make me want to eat dog meat.

36. God, I will never call you grandpa again. You don't love my granddaughter at all

37. Although I look like I have no brains, I am actually unhappy.

38. Don't experience scum,