Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Qq space funny talk about mood phrases: call aunt, your mother started before me.
Qq space funny talk about mood phrases: call aunt, your mother started before me.
The Statue of Liberty with a book in one hand and a torch in the other tells us that we should study even if there is a power failure.
3, planting grass does not make people lie down, it is better to replant cactus!
4, paper-based love, a tear is broken.
I hope I can be happy, because then I don't have to worry about exams!
6. In China, there is one person who is the most pitiful. His name is Huozai, because we often see or hear that he was killed, anxious and forced to die alive.
7. I saw a handsome guy with iphone6 on the street. Don't chase him. Maybe he doesn't have a kidney
8. Which is the best monthly exam paper? Not China, I swallow the item.
9. I scored 60 points before, just like dying; Now I got 60 points, just like being a grandfather.
10 little nurse, did you learn this needle from Sister Rong?
1 1. Now call me daughter-in-law. If you dare to betray me in the future, I will let you call me sister-in-law.
12, I am the kind of person who can be cheated away with a lollipop.
13, our ideological and moral teacher: A good cadre like Kong Fansen eats grass and squeezes out cows! I was smoking with a smile.
14, my sister said that she always looked at her male god in class today, and the male god didn't look at herself. Behind her, the male god gave her a casual look, but she was digging nose excrement. ...
15, I watched my homework for a minute, then my mobile phone became jealous, and then I coaxed my mobile phone for an hour.
16 my brother waved in front of my eyes for a long time and two hawthorn asked if he wanted to eat dates.
17, I often fantasize that if I have a promise in the future, who can tell me how to do my homework!
18, why are your families all local tyrants? Oh, don't mention it. They all gave up treatment.
19, classmates, the teacher is your little apple. No wonder I always want to skin you.
20. Who can give me more courage than perfection?
2 1, the greatness of mathematics is that Chinese is mixed with English and Greek letters, and finally it turns out to be Arabic numerals.
22. Am I so glamorous that you can talk nonsense?
23. If something happens to you one day, please be sure to call me. I won't hold back and I can't give you a knife, but I can come out smartly.
Tomb-Sweeping Day, buy flowers to pay homage to the lost love.
25. A bug in front flew next to my math problem, looked at it for a few times and died.
Ordinary people, don't challenge my blacklist with your ignorance.
When you ask the male toad what is the most beautiful, his answer must be the female toad. There is no doubt about his appreciation level, but his environment is different.
28. Every TV series has a man and a woman, but the audience does.
29, the tiger does not send cats, you think I am dying!
30, call aunt, your mother beat me to it.
3 1, sneezing may not necessarily vomit, but it will definitely close your eyes.
32, play a small mahjong, eat a spicy. Find a small object, life is like this.
Don't think I'm staring at you because I'm looking at you. Actually, I was distracted.
I feel like I have nothing now. What are you talking about? Aren't you sick?
35. Have you ever held a boy's hand? Have you ever raised a boy's arm over your shoulder?
36. People who haggle over every ounce are suitable for shopping, not for falling in love.
37. If loneliness can lead to drinking, then love is a hangover.
38. I once turned my space upside down.
When you are too old to walk, I will push you to the square in a wheelchair every day and let you watch me dance with other old people.
40. You look so good. What's the use of eggs except being my daughter-in-law?
4 1. You don't like such a good girl as me, young man. Do you like men?
42. Once a girl said that she could change herself for me. That day, I got up the courage to express my secret love for a long time. She said to me: What do you like about me? Can't I change it? !
43. Those who can't unscrew the bottle cap are all married, and those who can are still screwing themselves.
44. Tell me about a time when I was in college. There is a guy in the dormitory who plays Warcraft on the computer all day. He washes clothes almost once a week. Every time, he put a lot in a basin and soaked it in washing powder. Ten minutes later, he washed them with water Does he need to brush or wipe them? Without looking at me, the animal replied, I used a secret automatic pistol. Secret automatic pistol? Fully automatic?
45. The so-called sleeping goods can be summarized in eight words: sleepy in spring, sleepy in summer and sleepy in autumn.
Spatial interesting mood phrases
Spatial interesting mood phrases
1, the trip to Shenzhou is ok for me. I don't have to pay to see if you can do it.
2. When you do something right, no one will remember it; When doing something wrong, even breathing is wrong!
3. Live, you will die sooner or later; If you die, you will live forever.
Everyone who doesn't want to fall in love has an impossible person in his heart!
There are many ways to end friendship, and the most thorough way is to borrow money and not pay it back.
6, ask what the world is, and tell people to take off their clothes and pants.
7. I'm not afraid to kick you. I'm just afraid that Nike on my feet will get dirty.
8. Not all men and women are equal. Why can't I go to the ladies' room?
9. Boss, do you have any coke? Get me a bottle of Sprite. ...
10, looking at beautiful women in the street, the higher you are, the more you appreciate ... the lower level is hooligans.
1 1. If my sister goes crazy one day, please tell others that my sister is a lady.
12, there is a person alive and he is dead; Some people are alive, and he should have died.
13, there are thousands of men in Qian Qian, and I have to change them every day.
14. If I die, please burn me a sister.
15, why do you need to sleep for a long time when you are alive and sleep when you are dead?
16, big brother, I heard that the meat of second brother is more expensive than that of master.
17, Tian Lingling, Lingling, another ice cream.
18, don't wash it, but for the mud, this broken car would have fallen apart.
19, college is learning!
20. What is the world? Everything has its vanquisher.
2 1, Zhuge Liang never led a soldier before coming out of the mountain. Why should I have work experience?
22, Chopin of Niu B, can't play Lao Tzu's sadness!
23. If the garden can't be closed in spring, I will draw an almond out of the wall.
24. Better fight with wise men than talk to sb!
25, the hair is gone, dandruff is more prominent!
26. I always wander between cow A and cow C.
27. Stupid people are terrible not because they are stupid, but because they are smart.
28, people are not smart, but also learn from others baldness!
Live well, because we will die for a long time.
30. Kill the birdman, and I am an angel!
3 1, "Die Ke" insurance company provides you with a huge amount of insurance, which makes you worry-free. If a person really dies, the whole family will benefit.
32, women are pleasing to themselves, men are pleasing to themselves!
33. Other people's money and wealth are external things.
Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compete with you.
35, to mix in the rivers and lakes, it is best to be single!
36. As long as the hoe jumps well, is there a corner that can't be dug down?
37. For the rich, everything is fine if it ends well.
38. The greatness of life dies under flowers!
39. Since ancient times, no one has died and no paper has been used to shit.
40. There are so many people who despise me. Who are you?
4 1, handsome is useless! Didn't it end up being eaten by a chess piece?
42. What's the difference between buying lottery tickets and finding a wife? One is 25 to 7, and the other is 250 to choose a wife.
No one held my hand, so I put it in my pocket.
44. A swimming pool is not complete without a bikini beauty.
45. Beauty is like Chili noodles. Where people are not popular, sprinkle a little.
46. Kill you with what, dear.
47. The grievances that can be said are not grievances; A lover who can be taken away is not a lover.
If you go first, don't blame me for turning my back on you.
49. If you save enough 4.5 yuan and I save enough 4.5 yuan, we can get married in the Civil Affairs Bureau.
50. Women are not sexy, they must be emotional; Without sensibility, it is necessary to be rational; If there is no reason, we must have self-knowledge; If there is no such thing, she will only have misfortune.
5 1, women have seven products: a little girl is a semi-finished product, a girl is a finished product, a virgin is the best, a young woman is a top grade, a wife is a daily necessities, another's wife is a tonic, and an old maid is a souvenir.
52. Let people know at least 500 years later that "Bao Er Milk" is not Bao's second grandmother.
53. Sleeping in a row in class, obsessed with anti-terrorism, legend has it that you are tireless, you owe money by texting, you smoke and rub hemp, two bottles of white wine are not drunk, you skip classes in groups, and long live college life!
54. The greatest advantage of getting old is that you don't want what you couldn't get when you were young.
55. The story of the stone tells us that everything we really love is ultimately scattered, and everything we mix and match is ultimately reunited.
Sighing is the most wasteful thing, and crying is the most wasteful thing.
57. The road to success is always under construction.
58. Failing a foreign language proves that I am patriotic; Showing off all day, in fact, no wife; Grow a small belly and pretend to be Maitreya; Everywhere is chirping, like a big slug.
59. My father commented on my obesity: Han Hong didn't die, but Han Hong was ill.
60. If I don't go to hell, whoever loves me will go to hell.
6 1, I want to be emperor, and I am afraid of verbosity; Want to be an official, afraid of many things; Want to eat, afraid to brush the pot; I really want to beat you up, but I'm afraid of getting into trouble.
62. I thought I was "invisible" and others couldn't find me. It's no use. People like me, like fireflies in the dark, are bright enough and outstanding enough.
63. I don't know music, so sometimes it's unreliable and sometimes it's out of tune.
64. I never hold grudges. Generally, if I have grievances, I will report them on the spot.
65, a day without reading, no one can see; If you don't study for a week, it will start to explode; If you don't study in January, your IQ will be lost to pigs.
66. The hero is very sad about Beauty Pass. I'm not a hero, but the beauty let me through.
67. Some people are as smart as the weather and changeable. Some people are as stupid as the weather forecast, and they can't tell when the weather changes.
68. Fish said: I always open my eyes and let you stay in my eyes forever. Water said: I keep flowing, so that I can hug you forever. The pot said: it's almost ripe, and it's still so poor.
69. If you mess with me again, I will block you economically, isolate you politically, torture you mentally, destroy you physically, abandon you in life, and mobilize the whole country to condemn you! Look, you're still arrogant.
70. In the workplace, like Conan, I should have a domineering attitude of letting others die wherever I go.
7 1, I thought I was a flower on the cliff, but later I realized that I was just scum in the sea of people.
I can't find my favorite umbrella. I'd rather get wet in the rain.
73. Philosophers are illegal. When you think about the same thing for more than five minutes and thirty seconds, you become a philosopher.
74. This girl, first of all, there is a generation gap between us. Secondly, you have no cleavage. How do we communicate?
75. If you choose to look up at others at 45, don't blame others for looking down at you at 135.
76. Well, Mr. Zhang, you can't press CTRL+C on your home computer and then CTRL+V on your company computer. Not even the same article. No, no, it's not even an expensive computer.
77. The whole youth is used to review youth, and the whole life is used to doubt life.
78. Don't cry at my grave. Dirty my path of reincarnation.
79. If cigarettes are not obedient, we will "smoke".
80. When the road is rough, shout loudly and move on.
Qq Space Funny Talk about Personality Phrases
0 1. You are the only man left in the world, and I won't choose you. If I didn't choose you properly, I was stupid.
02. deskmate, do you think my watch looks good? Stop drawing. You have drawn an arm.
Yesterday, I changed the automatic reply to then, and then I chatted with it at the same table all afternoon, and I was beaten the next day.
In our class, I don't remember how to read cucumber English.
I saw a couple making out on the road. So I ran to the boy and said, brother, this girl is not as beautiful as yesterday.
When you feel lonely and helpless, think that there are billions of cells living for you, which is the warmest thing I have ever heard.
07. Looking through the picture books of Snow White, Mermaid Princess and Sleeping Beauty, I found an incredible thing, Prince, you scum.
08. I didn't know your nicknames were so awesome until there were no notes in the space.
You must come when I lose weight, because I lose my appetite when I see you.
10. Classes are like Fu Nan batteries, which are more than six long math classes and can be used after English classes.
1 1. Sometimes I feel ugly, so I take out my ID card and have a look.
12. Don't underestimate a woman's curiosity. She can transfer your spatial dynamics from today to the day you apply for QQ.
13. Now Tencent simply eats too much soap. Let's talk about what kind of mobile phone this is, which makes us poor people feel embarrassed!
14. Now many non-mainstream girls like to write this to me when chatting. In fact, what is this implying?
15. After taking the exam for so many years, why not have an anniversary celebration? For example, if you take 40, you will take 20, if you take two, you will take one, and if you choose two, you will be exempted.
16. Now all primary school students have celebrated Valentine's Day, and all middle school students have celebrated Singles Day, leaving a group of brainless high school students clamoring for Children's Day all day!
17. Aunt in the canteen will talk to herself every time she hears the school bell: the enemy has 30 seconds to reach the battlefield.
18. If I were a zombie, I wouldn't eat it. You are so touched. Why? Because you have no brain.
19. The most efficient way to do homework is to write it secretly in class, and the least efficient way is to write it on your mobile phone at home.
20. Some people say that as long as you look at the person you like, you will immediately lower your head. Do I like the head teacher?
2 1. If Spider-Man is in China, the spider silk he shoots will tear off a large piece of wall skin and then fall to his death.
22. I heard a little boy in a big kindergarten class who had just attended the graduation ceremony and said happily: graduation! Stop studying!
23. A young man went to lose weight. The doctor said that he could only eat two pieces of bread every meal. The young man actually said, before or after meals?
24. Some people ask why many people take selfies in the toilet. So-and-so replied that the toilet was well lit.
25. When my friend got married yesterday, I raised my glass to the groom and said that the bride was beautiful. I will do it first. Please make yourself at home. ...
It is estimated that all the children have tried to close the refrigerator door slowly to see when the lights inside go out.
27. In this weather, steam in the dormitory, dry-cook in bed, teppanyaki on the mat, go out for a barbecue, swim and boil water, and return to the pot at night.
It is said that all parts of the country are mourning for a guy named Hot. It's too hot!
29. Explain your loneliness in one sentence. There are 82 words in this sentence you just said.
30. Wife, do you have a photo without makeup? Send me one quickly. What happened? Nothing, I can't stop burping.
3 1. I want to eat lollipops, shall we split it 50/50? Yeah, well, I eat sugar, and you eat it very well. .
32. How long is a minute? It depends on whether you are squatting in the toilet or waiting outside.
33. When I got up in the morning, I saw someone shouting in the mirror: Wow, this beautiful girl looks like a flower.
34. Dreaming about dream of eating spaghetti, I woke up in the morning and found my shoelaces gone!
When we were young, we often made faces in the mirror. When you are old, the mirror is flat.
36. I am unknown in the world, and you turn all beings upside down in the vegetable market.
37. Sometimes I feel that life is really fun, but sometimes I feel that life is playing with me.
38. Shout to me: Money is coming, money is coming, and as a result, money really fell from the sky. Alas, it turned out to be a dream.
Whenever the war breaks out, I will hide in the trenches because I am undercover.
40. Modern people's living conditions: attend today's class, sleep yesterday's sleep and spend tomorrow's money.
4 1. I want to be a stinky tofu-like person, smelling bad and eating fragrant. This is called connotation.
42. Tell you a story: A pig is telling a story! The other pig smiled!
43. There are so many brain-dead people in the world, but you have become the best among them.
44. When I get rich, I will buy 100 million bicycles for everyone in China. I take the bus by myself?
45. Whoever is unkind to me, I will write his phone number on the wall, and then write: marriage, no conditions, no restrictions on men or women.
46. Money is not everything. Sometimes you need a credit card.
47. People who play with their brains are white quickly, so I have black hair.
48. I wanted the paper plane to take me into your heart, but it crashed on the way.
49. It is my style to do things regardless of the consequences, and it is my style not to regret afterwards.
50. Commitment, for employers and employees, is a fucking cloud!
5 1. Women are used for pain, and men are used to support their families!
52. What is eternal and what is eternal. Are just excuses for icing on the cake.
53. Interpretation is cover-up, cover-up is dishonesty, and dishonesty is not cleaning up!
Qq Space Funny Talking Phrases
1, kill the panda, I am a national treasure! 2. Handsome people talk half the time, for example.
3. Other people's money and wealth are things outside their bodies.
This man is lazy, leaving nothing behind.
5, a penny for a penny, porridge is not hungry.
6. When you are old, your hair is waist-length. Will you study hard?
7, take a kitchen knife to cut the wire, all the way sparks with lightning.
Come here. I have a relationship and I want to talk to you.
9. I want to lose weight in my heart, but I eat hard in my mouth.
10, live fish will go upstream, and dead fish will drift with the tide.
1 1. In the last few days of winter vacation, almost every household was brightly lit.
12, who can not shoot the China national football team for minutes?
13, the cold wind has been blowing all day, and it seems to have become much colder.
14, a walk and a stop, really stylish, one card per second, so chic.
15, don't be too nice to me, lest I promise myself that you won't.
16, without medical insurance and life insurance, don't try to be brave after dark.
17, if being rich is also a mistake, then I'd rather make a mistake again and again.
18, everyone says I'm obedient, but I only listen to myself.
19, since you stopped chatting with me, my internet speed has been much faster.
20, the current flower heart, because it is more primitive than anyone else.
2 1, if you are good, it will be sunny, and if you are happy, it will be the end.
22. As long as you are thin, everything is omnipotent. If you are fat, nothing is useful.
23, shameless this matter, if done well, is called excellent psychological quality.
24. Do all the bad things you can while you are young. It's only been a few years.
I licked my fingers and cried.
26. If I fall in love with your smile, how can I collect it and have it?
I know you don't love me, but I miss you like a flood.
I realize that the bride means to take over from his mother and take care of her son.
29. In those years, the math teacher patted the blackboard and shouted: Probably? Do you want to make an appointment?
30. No matter how old a human member is, he is young before money.
3 1, women are tools to make human beings, and men are human beings who use tools.
I can't stand typing. When I meet a homonym, the first thing that comes to mind is his name.
33. The National Day passed so fast, just like a tornado, it was too late to do my homework.
34. The furthest distance in the world is from Monday to Friday.
You see, the rainbow on the other side despised me that day because I was brighter than it.
36. Don't turn your avatar into your own, or it will be unlucky to go offline.
37. Last year, even monks traded in stocks. This year, stock speculators became monks.
38. The life of scum is like this: if you do well in the exam, you will be suspected, and if you do badly in the exam, you will be scolded.
You must admit that there are always some friends around you who laugh more than jokes.
40. Actually, I don't like loneliness at all. Why does loneliness always come to me?
4 1, because I like you, with your light, I have seen a world that I have never foreseen.
42. I hope that one day, it is the boy I deeply love who will take me into the marriage hall.
43. When people say you are a good mother, you say you are a good son.
44. There were Ximen Qing in ancient times and Edison Chen today; The stream sees the stream and takes out its own camera.
45. I took your photo as a desktop on a whim, and TMD was infected with a computer virus.
46, life does not care about the length, only care about living wonderfully, eating and using up, and being healthy!
47. People say that a twisted melon is not sweet. If you don't twist it, there is no sweetness.
48. Pro: You know, only mosquitoes will never leave you this summer.
49. Behind every successful Altman, there are a group of little monsters who are beaten silently.
If I were a farmer in the world, the next Bill Gates would definitely be me.
5 1, everyone pretends to understand, but only a few idiots still don't.
52. The world belongs to us and those children, but sooner or later it belongs to those grandchildren!
53, the monster is a good boy, he will say to Altman; Don't be sad, just hit me.
54. When I was a child, I thought bleeding was a serious matter. Whether it hurts or not, cry first.
55, eyes are astringent, because tears are turbid, love is astringent, because of the persistence of deception.
56. Since my mother knew that I had a boyfriend, my household registration book was moved from the cupboard to the safe.
57. Making money is an ability, and spending money is a technology. My ability is limited, but my skill is high.
58. Honey, are you dead? Hold me tight when you die, and let the corpse collector know that we are a couple!
59. The most painful thing when swearing is that others use your words to scold you back and forth, and the weight will soar a lot.
60. Teacher, just follow the old lady! It's been a long time, teacher, please spare the old woman! .
6 1, time is the best teacher, but it's a pity that he killed all the students in the end.
62. What pants will make you look young? I don't think there is anything that looks younger than wearing diapers.
63. If possible, be stronger. Envy is better than pity!
64. In the workplace, I should be like Conan and have a domineering attitude of letting others die wherever I go.
65. The pain of life is that after experiencing a super storm, not only did you not see the rainbow, but you also caught a cold.
66. I want to miss you on the scattered stars; May the starlight shine into your window and sleep with you.
67. Pigs have pig thoughts, and people have people's thoughts. If a pig has a human brain, it is not a pig ―― it is Bajie!
68. Be nice to your girlfriend when you find her. Don't hurt her, bully her or let her down. After all, she is blind.
69. I hope that your name and I can be written together forever, whether on the wedding invitation or on the tombstone of the funeral.
70. I love you so inexplicably and without hesitation. I know I won't be the only one in your life, but you are the love of my life!
7 1, help if you have difficulties, and help if you don't have difficulties. In the face of beauty, it is revised as: there is danger to save, and no danger can create danger.
72. Why do people come to my house and I serve like a grandson, but when I go to other people's houses, I am as restrained as a grandson. What's the matter?
73. Honey, I accidentally broke your iphone6. If you are well, it will be sunny. Really? That's bullshit! Get better soon!
74. Every time I buy a drink, I thank you for your patronage. One day, I suddenly couldn't write Huizi in the exam, so I opened the drink next to me. I was crazy and won: one more bottle.
75. How many centuries have passed and we met; How many marriages have been accumulated, and we love each other. Honey, it's good to have you. Let's love each other sweetly and grow old together!
76. In the evening, I asked my colleagues to wait for me to have dinner together. He went to eat by himself. So I calmly walked to the canteen, locked his bike with mine and turned off his cell phone!
77. Once, a parent called the teacher and asked how my son's history score was. When I was a student, I never got good grades in history. The teacher replied that history is repeating itself.
78. The teacher asked Xiao Amin a question in class, but Xiao Ming stood up without saying a word. Teacher: Xiaoming! What's the matter with you? Do you know the answer or not? At least let me know! Xiao Ming: Zhi ~
79. When I was in junior high school, I was fascinated by martial arts novels. I was watching Jin Yong's "Eight Dragons" in class and was discovered by the teacher. I confiscated it and shouted: Give me the other seven books.
80. The moon is round and the sea is salty. I made a friend and stayed abroad. Sweet mouth, long legs, small hands, empty pockets and itchy heart. It costs money to touch that little hand.
- Previous article:A 200-word essay on interesting things in English class
- Next article:The biggest joke in history
- Related articles
- How to tell a joke or story to others vividly and interestingly?
- Jokes under 100 words, fresh!
- Why is it called burn superman Po?
- JJ JJ Lin's Chinese-English Translation
- Why does NDRC keep raising oil prices? Isn't it connected with the world?
- What about IVF twins?
- What are the classic lyrics of Mayday (the first rock group in Asia)?
- Boys send cold jokes to girls.
- Beginners learn to drive jokes.
- Chris Lee told a cold joke about zongzi. What exactly did he say?