Super classic children's jokes 15

There are 15 super classic children's jokes. The protagonists in children's jokes are mainly children's groups, because children's innocence and childlike interest often give people unexpected jokes. Below I compiled 15 super classic children's jokes.

Super classic children's joke 15 1 1 I remember that when the landlord was a child, his family was poor and there were so few underwear that he washed them all in one day.

I wanted to go out to play with what I didn't wear, so I took my dad's big vest and found a needle and thread to sew the bottom of the vest in the middle.

So I had a vest and underwear, and I found a belt to tie around my waist to hide my eyes and ears. My reputation spread among my aunts all afternoon.

The landlord is 30 years old and is still being laughed at for his ingenuity. How fashionable it was then!

I once quarreled with my classmates. He is so noisy that I can't argue with him. When I was in a hurry, I said, "I'll spit your face out." He listened and looked at me for a few seconds, and sure enough, he stopped arguing. Today, while I was having fun, I suddenly received a short message from my sister. "How much is the abortion? Come on, there's a little situation. " I was shocked and my brain was racing: Is she pregnant? What a quiet girl! Why do you ask me? Does she know I have this research? Abortion is not in a hurry, is it? Why hurry? Just as I was thinking, another short message came: "Hurry up, my bike can't walk." ...

When I was young, children loved to play with guns during the Chinese New Year. When I was a child, I liked to light a gun and hide it inside.

I paused in my hand for two seconds, and then threw it where there was water. Many times it ends in failure. The gun didn't go off, and I really don't want to throw it away again. I thought I wouldn't touch the pond this time.

I threw it into my mother's footbath, yes, it rang decisively, the basin was blown up, and then all my lucky money was gone. ...

4. A basketball player who is more than two meters tall came from the court. He was sweating like a pig. Two pupils on the roadside met and chatted.

A: "Why do you think this uncle is so angry?"

B: "Because he is tall."

A: "Why is it hot when you are tall?"

B: "high and close to the sun!" "

Xiaohua's father is Xiaoming, the twin brother of the city zoo. On this day, I took two babies to drive orangutans. Xiao Ming and Xiao Hua want to look carefully and beg their father to take them to feed the orangutans.

Xiaoming: Wow, so many orangutans.

Xiaohua: That's the biggest and that's the smallest.

Xiao Ming: It seems that there are no white orangutans.

Xiaohua: That one is grinning at us!

Orangutan A: Come and see, everyone. I brought two new foods.

Orangutan B: It's white.

6. An old gentleman walked slowly along the street and saw a child trying to ring the doorbell, but the doorbell was too high to ring. The kind old man stopped and said to the child, "Let me press it for you." So he rang the baby's doorbell and the whole house heard the bell. At this time, the child said to the old man, "Now let's run away." Old man: "..."

7. Every family is eager to learn and accept new knowledge very quickly. Her mother taught her to be sarcastic and said, "Come on." She said, "Slow down." Mom said, "High." She said, "Low." ..... Soon, every family learned many antonyms. Mother asked, "Do you know how to use antonyms?" She said, "I see." ..... A little boy came to the pasture for the first time and saw a lamb. He got up the courage to touch it and cried out in surprise, "Its hair is made of blankets!" " "

8. I am a middle class teacher in a kindergarten. I get along well with the children and am deeply loved by them.

They are always willing to sneak snacks into my desk drawer.

One day, a stingy child in my class handed me a ham.

I am very happy in my heart, because he never gave any snacks to any child, and almost stole them himself.

I exulted: I still have weight in his heart!

Hurry up and say in a warm and high-sugar voice: the teacher doesn't eat, you eat, good boy!

He said quietly, bite it open for me. ...

9. One day, Wei Wei and her mother went to buy home appliances. Vivian saw a sign and asked her mother what it said.

Mom said: this is a' national inspection-free product'. Vivian wrote it down.

One day, the uncle who audited the accounts came to audit the accounts. Uncle joked to Weiwei: Do you have an account?

Wei Wei said with a smile: I am a national inspection-free product.

10, one day I took my 6-year-old nephew out to buy fruit. He said he would buy it, and I admire him very much.

Unexpectedly, even more refined, he asked the fruit seller to put all the bad ones in a bag.

Pack as many as you have, and people pretend when they look at sinister smiles.

Little nephew said he didn't want anything on the tape.

Give me two Jin to set up a stall.

I am on the side, silently underestimating my IQ! !

1 1. People asked a boy, which is heavier, one kilogram of lead or one kilogram of feathers? The boy replied without thinking that one kilogram of lead is heavier. People immediately explained to him that he was wrong. They are as heavy as two, but the boy still insists on his opinion.

"To prove it," he said, "I went to the balcony, from where I threw a kilogram of feathers on your head, and then another kilogram of lead. I'll see what you say then. "

12, Xiaoming came home with the prize, and his mother asked, "Dear, why is the prize given to you by the school NULL?"

Xiao Ming said: "In science class, the teacher asked how many legs an ostrich has, and I said it has three legs ..."

"But an ostrich has only two legs!"

"Now I know. But other students in the class all said four legs, and my answers had the smallest difference, so I won the prize! "

The father taught his little son how to use his fingers.

Father said: fingers can represent numbers or meanings. Pointing up at others means "good, or first", pointing up at the little finger means "bad or last"

The son said: Mom is the best. She should give her a finger.

The father said: The son is really clever.

The son said that the father was neither good nor bad. It's time to give you the middle finger

Father is startled: ...

Super classic children's jokes 15 2 hilarious jokes.

1, a toad doesn't want to eat the latest tea, and doesn't even catch mosquitoes. Other toads are anxious to know what's wrong with it. The oldest toad said, "catch a swan and take good care of it." Because the toad wants to eat swan meat. "

My bitch gave birth to two puppies. Because my wife is a reporter, we nicknamed these two dogs "paparazzi". Once we were about to kiss, I suddenly saw the "paparazzi" shouting: "paparazzi!" The wife was frightened and said, "No, it's impossible. I sent them back. "

3. North Korea says that the American people are living in dire straits. On the front page of the North Korean newspaper, a photo of an American sunbathing on the beach was published, with the caption: Americans are poor, have no clothes to wear, do not have enough to eat, people are starving, and no one cares. ......

Zhu and Feifei agreed to take the stairs to their home on the 50th floor. 10 floor, Aju asks Feifei; Feifei, are you tired? Feifei shook her head and they walked on. On the 30th floor, Aju asked Feifei, "Feifei, are you tired?" Feifei shook her head and they walked on. On the 49th floor, Aju asked Feifei, "Feifei, are you tired?" Feifei nodded hard. A Ju: "OK, let's walk back and take the elevator home."

5. A Ju is going to have an exam. Mother asked Aju if he had finished reading the book. Ah Zhu said, "I'm finished." The next day, my mother flew into a rage when she saw Zhu's failed paper. "How come I finished reading all the books and did so badly in the exam!" "A Ju:" Mom, what I said that day was. . . I think it's over. "

6. What is your husband's annual salary? "8 million" "God, it's much better than mine. I'm so happy. The friend said. " This is the basic salary. ""What do you do? " The friend asked again "dream" and "..." friend.

7. Xiao Qiang went to the zoo to see monkeys. The monkey exclaimed, "Second brother, long time no see." Xiao Qiang: "You must have mistaken me for someone else. I don't know you. " Monkey: "I'm still pretending." Who doesn't know? Look at yourself in the mirror. "

8. Actually, in the story of the race between the tortoise and the hare, there is a little-known joke to share with you today: the hare is far ahead, the tortoise is crawling behind, and suddenly he sees a snail. It said, "Brother Tortoise, I will go with you and give me one." The tortoise nodded his head. After the tortoise passed the sleeping rabbit, it met an ant that was badly sunburned and climbed onto the tortoise shell. Snail accosted, "hang in there, buddy, it's almost time, don't be thrown out."

9. Motor vehicles and toy cars praise themselves together. The motor vehicle said, "I am strong and can work for people, so people like me very much!" " "The toy car said unconvinced." What does it matter if you can do things for people again? "Haven't been riding, haven't been sitting? I am different. People have to let me sit and let me ride. " The motor vehicle was fainted by the smell.

10, a buddy started to doze off at the beginning of class, and the teacher has "let go". One morning, this buddy woke up, looked at the Chinese text on the blackboard and said to himself, "Our math teacher is great, and he can teach Chinese so well!" " A classmate next to him went back to Japan: "Sorry, it's Teacher China who is lecturing now!" " ! Math class is over! "

1 1. Police: Report to the princess, the criminal has been cornered by me and fled to the home of Secretary Lan. Sheriff: Why don't you follow me? Policeman: I'm empty-handed and embarrassed to lead the family. . . .

12, I couldn't catch up with that BMW after all, so I just watched it go away in the sunset. It's not that my engine is broken, but that my chain has fallen off.

13, went to the vegetable market to buy food, and saw a child watching the stall. I asked, "How much is a chicken?"

The child replied, "23."

I asked again, "How much are two chickens?"

The child paused and didn't count it at the moment. He used his quick wits and shouted, "You can only buy one at a time!"

14, I asked him: Honey, do you think I am ugly?

I thought my husband would say: the baby is not ugly at all.

As a result, he left two words: not too much.

15, in Chinese class in primary school, the Chinese teacher said a famous saying that tolerance is great. Xiao Ming stood up and asked, "Teacher, who is Rong Rong?" The teacher said, "You go out."

16, "Dad, shall we go to the circus tonight?"

"Son, I don't have time."

"Listen to the children, there is a naked aunt dancing on the tiger in the circus."

"Well, let's go together. I haven't seen a tiger for a long time. "

17. Today, my little nephew and I sat on the sofa, eating potato chips and watching TV. I feel that the potato chips are all wet after eating. When I turned my head, he licked every potato chip and put it back in the bag.

18, son: "Mom, why am I here?" Mom: "Your father planted a seed in my stomach, and then there was you." The son turned and left. After a while, he took a gourd seed and said, "Mom, eat it and give me a gourd baby."

19. If one day I change Weibo's real name, change the photo to myself, and the signature becomes positive, and delete all the previous words, it's probably that I'm going to start a new life or my mother is paying attention to me.

20, the zoo held a seminar! The host asked, "Can cats climb trees?" The eagle scrambled to answer: "Yes!" Moderator: "Please give an example!" The eagle said tearfully, "that year, I fell asleep, the cat climbed the tree ... and then there was an owl!" " "