A story with depth and humor

The computer company opened, and friends and relatives drank and entertained. ? With a "boot (rev)", everyone opened a bottle of beer. ? "Qing", everyone raises a bottle and carries out a "batch process". "Reset", put down the bottle. ? ……? "Hey, stop drinking, I don't have enough memory to run." A clap belly way. ? "Yes, there's something wrong with my monitor, too." B trembled and said incoherently. ? "Hey, my keyboard is broken." C shouted, "Everything is dangling in front of me." ?

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At the parent-teacher meeting, parents asked the teacher, "How is my child doing at school?" The teacher said, "His brain capacity is 10GB, and he can move his brain like a Pentium? II, but I'm not very attentive in class and the cache is too small. I just finished teaching in the back and forgot what I did five minutes ago. I don't have good contact with RAM, so sometimes I understand it as soon as I teach it, and sometimes I still can't figure it out after talking for a long time. In addition, his' floating-point operation' function is defective. I wonder if he was born without a CPU. It's best to take him to cram for math and establish some' connections', otherwise he can't keep up with his lessons. The sound card is not set well, so I often don't talk when I should make a noise, and I only make a bunch of noises when I want to be quiet. In addition, the time setting of the screen saver is too short, and the teacher fell asleep after only one minute of inactivity. In addition, there are no major shortcomings. " ?

1.A Although not short (with 170) and not thin, its chest is relatively small. So every time she talks about us: a group of women with big breasts and no brains … we all attack: women without breasts are more pitiful than women without brains! She started to freak out.

Later, I heard that foam tea can increase MIMI, and she will drink one cup every day. No one else is allowed to drink. I bought a cup of milk tea that day and put it on the bedroom table. When I came back, I found it was empty, and then I saw A sitting on the bed.

Later, she went to buy a bust, so did we. When we arrived at the underwear store, we said without thinking: 37A! I just learned that the aunt looked at it and said, I think she has to wear B?

This sentence, she was ecstatic. After buying underwear, she went crazy and said, I'm B, and I have B! B ah, b ...

The five of us asked around. Who is this? I don't know. I really don't know ...

Then she firmly believed that she was drinking bubble tea, so she drank two cups a day ... Finally, one day, she succeeded in nausea and giving up drinking. ...

Now we all poke her chest with our fingers, which is very contemptuous: what a thick sponge. ...

3. One day I didn't know how to talk about the Little Dragon Man, and C immediately shouted excitedly: I remember, I remember! The theme song can be sung!

Then I was intoxicated and sang: I have many little secrets, MIMI, (maybe I was too involved, or just ... sang it later) I have many big gigi, big gigi. ...

The whole bedroom was sweating ... for a long time, A gave a speech: What if you are covered with genitals? ...

It seems that it is popular for girls to eat corn sausage now ―― I don't know if the manufacturer did it on purpose, and the shape is particularly ambiguous.

A MM always laughs at our hunger when she sees us buying corn sausages.

C will bite and lick and say, whatever, I like KJ (the whole dormitory is cold ...)

One day A came back and suddenly brought back a sausage twice as long. B was moved and said with a smile, it's really like this!

Then our dormitory was curious: Is it that long?

B played a super theoretical knowledge, saying that most men have 16CM. Take a ruler and measure it at once? As a result, the heel intestine was brutally chewed by each of us. ................................................................

6. Female MM: Li Houlin's big baiwenhang gave it to Li Xiang pink diamond. You always said you loved me, didn't you?

B MM patted his chest and said, I have, I have! Here it is! She really meant it, didn't she? ……)

F MM: dig! Are you made of diamonds? (pink ... cold) Since then, the diamond-like RT has become the handle for the whole dormitory to laugh at B MM

I wore two braids today. ...

Everyone said: what age are you still pretending! Then I was very proud: I wish I could pretend, you old women ... and then we started quarreling. ...

Seeing that C MM didn't give a speech was another deep look.

We are all surprised that Ping likes to quarrel with me most ... I asked, what's wrong with you.

She said: I am thinking about a very profound problem ... everyone is staring at her.

She slowly took out a ruler from the pencil case and compared it with my head, saying that it was 16 cm.

A minute later, everyone went crazy.

8.c ran nearest and shouted: There is a handsome boy in the canteen downstairs! I asked him how much the corn sausage was, and he said one piece. I mean, about a dollar and a half? Then for fifty cents, it's worth talking to him more! Ye! (a pair of anthomaniac)

B Uncover the quilt and put on pants: Really! I'll go down and have a look!

When I came back, I also looked like a halazi on the ground, and my eyes were red: so handsome, this is also! I asked him, do you know how much Kabiwan is? He said, tell me ... Wow, that's cool ~ I want to have a crush on him ... (Khan, her boyfriend is in our class)

So A and I couldn't lie under the quilt and went down. At first glance, it is really a stunner! So, I stared at him more and more fiercely. Looking back, I was shocked by the color of A. I thought it was not creative to take sausage, so I took yogurt.

Back upstairs, F MM woke up from a dream and got out of bed at once. ...

Scold when you come back: * * *! I asked Kabiwan how much it was, and he said directly, I won't tell you! Then he said gloomily, it looks so-so. Whole dormitory: people are scattered, and the team is not easy to take!

Later, as soon as it spread in the corridor, everyone began to dress and eyebrows, sweating to death. It is estimated that the passenger flow and turnover of the canteen have reached a new high. Several of us sat together and began to sum up: it must be the original grandpa's handsome plan! Then C knocked on the bedroom door one by one, went to get the beer bottles that had not been returned, and said that he would return the bottles to recover the losses. As a result, when I came back, I had several bottles of beer in my hand and still read: handsome!

Then one day, when we went shopping, we heard a four-or five-year-old child calling him: Dad! Sad ...

9.b came back one day and said mysteriously, I asked him (her boyfriend) what date it is today ... the whole dormitory spontaneously formed a circle. She said, it is as long as my hand. ...

Everyone started to go to YY…… ... ...

10, it is said that playing at night, C MM accidentally touched B's chest, and B said, Did you get it? We all shouted: Ah! It has been polished! ^^&； ! ~

1 1, a MM came back from self-study at night. When I heard this, I was shocked: I can cut the glass with a bend! Too strong! (Everyone else is down! )

12, A often buys bananas to lose weight ... Of course we have to laugh at her hunger.

But one day she came back from the supermarket and didn't take a bag of bananas as usual, so she was very puzzled. I asked: hmm? Don't you eat bananas?

She is a little embarrassed to say: it is not the way to be laughed at by you every day.

I nodded, thinking that she was still conscious, but immediately, she took out banana slices from her schoolbag and said, "Now I'm going to cut this hole."

..... all sliced. . . Since then, banana slices have become a hot food in the dormitory.

13, one day we turned off the light and began to discuss again. I wonder who mentioned it. Ask c, what was your name when you did that? (Only C has actual combat experience)

C called several times. Then he told us a joke.

Said the woman couldn't call out, went to the doctor, and the doctor wrote a letter for her, and then the woman came to the doctor the next day and said it was useless. The doctor asked her what her name was, and she said, just the room, the room!

That made us all sour, and then everyone began to imitate. Finally, I called one to six beds in turn, then one person believed it, and finally shouted ... that voice called one after another. ...

A MM is actually a lovely girl. Although she looks ordinary, she has a very good personality. She said that the man she likes must first have no bad breath, no body odor and no foot odor. Then he said he had to sleep naked with him every day ―― we were tired of hearing it ...

God spoke: ... My name is cold. ...

The Story of Pig Blood Cake There is a young man who likes pig blood cake very much. Once he went shopping and found an old lady selling pig blood cakes on the street, so he bought one. After eating it, he felt different from the pig blood cake he had eaten before, so he went back and asked the old lady to buy another one. But which old lady said it was sold out, and the young man asked why there were so few. The old lady replied, do you only come once a month? There used to be quite a lot. ! ! ! ! ! ! One day, a painter was going to paint in a mental hospital. The ladder and brush he brought climbed to the ceiling, and all the patients in the hospital came to see it. As a result, someone below shouted, "You must hold the pen steady!" The painter said on it, "Don't worry, I hold it firmly." The man said, "OK, I'll use the ladder." There are two lovers in the park. The girl coquetry said, "Husband, I have a toothache." The boy kissed the girl and said, "Does it still hurt?" The girl said, "It doesn't hurt." Later, the girl said, "My neck hurts." So the boy kissed the girl's neck and said, "Does it still hurt?" The girl said happily, "It doesn't hurt anymore." An old lady saw it and couldn't help saying, "Young man, you are a god. Can you treat hemorrhoids? "