Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - However, one thing is that we have to admit that your parents still don't love you very much. Your parents are so selfish! How could they eat all the meat? For parents like this, oh... don’t even want

However, one thing is that we have to admit that your parents still don't love you very much. Your parents are so selfish! How could they eat all the meat? For parents like this, oh... don’t even want

However, one thing is that we have to admit that your parents still don't love you very much. Your parents are so selfish! How could they eat all the meat? For parents like this, oh... don’t even want it! " "My dad loves me very much, he said that. My mother loves me too, and she told me so personally. I am their lifeblood, their baby, and their dream. I don't allow you to talk about my parents like that. ”

“Hey, listen, it’s so disgusting!” However, I feel the same way. A son is the heart, bone, and flesh of his parents. How can he not love and care for him without hesitation? My grandma and my parents also love me. I... I was just joking with you, don't take it seriously, okay? "

"Of course, I know you are treating me as a clown and playing with me. I don't blame you, but I still have to make it clear to you about what I said just now. In the future, if you make such a joke to me again, I think we won’t even be brothers anymore. I swear..."

"Hi..., hi..., I said, don't take such a trivial matter so seriously? Seriously, you brat! "

"It's so serious...serious! I love my parents! "

"Then... where is Meizi? "

"I like... I like..."

I sat on the bed frame and couldn't help but think of my cousin again. Chen Fangfang usually doesn't interfere in my affairs. Stop my behavior. Even if I do something against my will, he will just stand by and say something rheumatic. However, sometimes, I have to admit that what he says does have some flavor. But Wei Jun never made him feel better.

"You are completely corrupt. You only know how to abuse animals, what else have you learned to do? This kind of activity grows with you, doesn't it? Do you dare to deny it? Whenever you see the scene of a mouse's body lying in different places, with flesh and blood flying everywhere, won't you cry sadly because you are a man who did those cruel things? Have you fed your conscience to the dogs? It’s too much, too much to be taken care of by your parents! "

"I said, Brother Chen, don't make things so bad, okay? Isn't it just a sloppy mouse? Do you still have to burn incense and kneel down to worship it? Aren’t the grains in our fields and barns ruined by them? This is the ecological balance of nature. If its mouth cannot be tightened, how can our children's mouths be tightened? In order to maintain ecological balance, we would rather make some sacrifices, but we will never make any concessions. "

"Is there any mistake? This is okay..."

Chen Fangfang ignored Wei Jun. He silently watched the flames dancing under the hot pot. After we cooked the rat meat, Chen Fangfang was the first to wait impatiently. He squeezed into our small space and scattered us. He quickly opened the pot lid and dipped his two middle fingers into the boiling water that was smoking white. Suddenly, something unfortunate happened. A large drop of boiling water jumped on the back of Brother Chen's hand, and he kissed it ambiguously. Chen Fang's injured hand was pulled out of the hot pot like lightning.

"Oh, my mother, I am. Oh my god..., look, how dare this water droplet... dare to bite me. It really bit me. Oh...I have an extra-large blister on the back of my hand. Today, I am unlucky. ”

“Yes! Those guys are so hateful, they're such bastards, why don't they swallow your whole palm? They're bastards, hopeless bastards. They only hurt you so much, it's not worth it. ”

Ding Han could no longer understand Chen Fang’s actions. He gave Chen Fang a tactful sentence and pushed back. At that time, everyone was happy. Chen Fang’s face flashed Turning green and white, he was stunned. He stared at Ding Han's mouth with two missing front teeth in embarrassment. His eyes lost their former gentleness, and from time to time they shot out flames of hatred.

The above is all in the past. Now, I still have to sit on the bed frame and have nothing to do.

I was thinking of a way, how could I open a skylight in the tiled roof and sneak out? Suddenly, a dazzling beam of sunlight penetrated the glass tile cover embedded in the tile and hit my eyes. Then, the sun continued to shine on my thin body. Suddenly, a trace of warmth quietly melted into my cold body, and I felt very comfortable and comfortable. The only drawback was that I began to feel depressed and dizzy. I had to leave this small space immediately or I would suffocate. I stood up, peeled off the tiles above my head, and opened a gap. The other tiles moved to the left and right sides. After that, my thin body was able to get out between the two parallel horizontal wooden bars. Finally, I Finally, he got his wish and melted into Jinyang. The world outside is so big and relaxing, and even the air I breathe has become precious and free. Everything goes so smoothly, which is beyond my expectation. I had planned to give up this arduous self-rescue operation, but now I know that it would be extremely ridiculous to give up just because it looks difficult on the surface. No matter what, you will know your fate only after you try it. Because I tried, I succeeded. If there is really no way to continue, I will not continue to persist, I will consider retreating and think of other methods. As the saying goes, it all depends on people. I suddenly found myself growing up. Grandma can no longer say to me, "Little... little child. Children should not manage adults' affairs, don't..." When I lowered my head and looked at everything in the room, I was blinded.

"Oh...my God, why is it so high? Where did the leaves come from? The whole bed frame is covered with tiles. After a while, grandma will come back, and she will definitely scold me to death. What to do? What to do?”

While I was thinking about these troubled questions, grandma came home carrying a bamboo basket full of fresh cabbage. As soon as she entered the courtyard, what came into her eyes was my figure squatting on the roof with trembling hands and feet, and my whole body was shaking. Grandma was panicked for a moment. After being stunned for a few seconds, she suddenly shouted at me and roared like a lion from Hedong, "Hagrid, Hagrid, you... don't be afraid, stand... stand still, don't move, don't move... Okay... ...Ha kid." Grandma's scream scared me almost to death. After a while, my body began to rotate, my feet stepped on the smooth moss-covered tiles, and accidentally, my whole body rolled directly under the eaves like a hedgehog ball. My rolling body crushed the tiles on the roof. Grandma stood at the door, motionless, unable to take a step. The expression on her face was stiff and she forgot to move her eyes. Soon, my body rolled out of the eaves, and then, my body fell vertically, falling...

Forty-seven,

"There is definitely no hope this time." Negative The thought quickly disappeared from my mind. Suddenly, a pair of strong arms stretched out from the eaves and caught me firmly. Then my eyelids closed and I fainted. I don't remember anything that happened after that. Afterwards, grandma made me some delicious food. She promised me that she would never leave me alone in a dark little house again. "Then what else can she do to me?" I muttered in my heart. Grandma said, "That day, your uncle happened to be sleeping in the house. He was awakened by your sharp cry for help. After that, he immediately jumped out of bed, ran out the door in a hurry, and finally rescued you. Little naughty boy, you are really It’s so shameless, your life is worthless, isn’t it? You really don’t know how to cherish your own life!”

After that incident, I never climbed up the bed frame to lift the tiles. A few times, I saw my grandma rushing towards me with a kitchen knife in her hand. Some blood was dripping from the tip of the knife. This gave me chills to watch. It turns out that grandma was cutting raw pork at that time. From now on...there will be no more farce. It's almost noon and it's time to eat. Grandma served me sweet meals, as well as fresh chicken legs and braised pork shreds. I ate happily and got carried away. At some point, my brother got into the kitchen and snatched a chicken leg from the basin. He chewed it with his little mouth and ate it with gusto. His face was covered in oil after eating, and even his nostrils were covered with bits of meat. Grandma rushed in to offend me and took my brother to the yard.

"You little naughty little bitch is better than your brother, but my old bones are sore from the torture of you two brothers..." Grandma had to give her brother some refreshment - wash his face. After I had eaten and drank enough, my mind calmed down a little. I realized that I started to grow up. When you grow up, you have to take responsibility for your own actions.

Winter has really come to my humble home. I had to wear multiple pieces of clothing to wrap my thin body tightly. My arms, legs and feet were stiff and my movements were unnatural, like a big bear. Just this winter, I heard some bad news. In an instant, I was covered in cold sweat, cooling my bones. I deeply realized that life is so fragile and only comes once.

In the bright sunshine at noon, Ding Han came to me in a panic with hot sweat breaking out on his forehead. Why can Ding Han break out in hot sweat on such a cold day? At this moment, I was shivering all over from the cold. The teeth in the upper and lower rows of my mouth are fighting fiercely. Ding Han doesn't manage me either. As soon as he broke into my room door, he ran directly to the edge of my big bed. He jumped up and his whole body fell onto my bed. At that time, Ding Han's head was pressed against my quilt and he remained silent, which made me very puzzled. After a while, he cried out of nowhere.

"Hi, hi, good brother, do you know? You... you went too far. You... you soiled all my sheets. You... what on earth did you do? Why are you crying like a girl?"

"I...I'm afraid..."

"What are you afraid of? The boss is here, don't be afraid. What happened? Ah..."

"Ugh..., uh..., Shi Zhi, he...he's done."

"What's over in broad daylight? Don't tell lies. It doesn't matter if you curse me, you are too unloyal to make fun of my brother. "When did I tell a lie in front of you?" I didn’t lie to you. I really didn’t lie to you.”

“Okay, boss, I believe you. Don’t be impulsive. Tell me everything.” Tell me."

"This is what happened."

Ding Han took a breath and began to tell what he had experienced.

"That day, Shi Zhi, Ikuhara, and Wei Jun were playing together by the stream. Shi Zhi's family was preparing to build a new building. His new building was built by the stream. At that time, Ikuhara and I stole Some limestone used for construction. We took the limestone to the stream. We put the lime on the bank of the stream, and then Ikuhara poured some water on the limestone. Soon, the limestone surface burst out. The smoke had a stinky smell. At first, Shi Zhi was fishing for fish and shrimp in the stream. As soon as he climbed ashore, the smoke hit him. At that time, Wei Jun was fooled by Shi Zhi. That's it. Shi Zhi said, "Limestone won't burn people." Wei Jun believed him without any thought, but Shi Zhi put a hand on my butt. After pinching it, I didn't dare to mind my own business. Ikuhara stared at Wei Jun and didn't dare to say a word. Ikuhara likes to be playful and lively, and this kind of thing is not what Wei Jun likes. She was on guard. She immediately reached out to grab the melted limestone that was still smoking. When her fingers touched the hot limestone, she realized that she had been fooled. I'm done. Little Shitou, I'm not done with you, ugh..." Wei Jun shook her hand vigorously, but the lime powder seemed to be entangled with her, sticking tightly to her fingers, making sizzling sounds from time to time. There is no way to get rid of the voice. "Don't be afraid, Wei Jun, put your hand into the stream quickly, this will relieve your pain." Wei Jun listened to my words. She jumped into the stream, and the water covered her neck. Her body was soaked in the stream, and she didn't cry anymore. She kept staring at Shi Zhi quietly for a while, with no intention of going ashore. What was distressing was that the palm she had just pulled out of the stream had changed its shape, and there were many blisters on the surface of the palm. Shi Zhi was dumbfounded. He had never experienced such a tragic scene, and he had never expected it. Things will develop to such a miserable situation.

Later, I couldn't find Shi Zhi. I think he slipped away long ago. "

"I said, brother. What you are talking about are all Shi Zhi’s bad things. Aren’t others kind? How do you say he's finished? "I asked impatiently.

"Boss, don't be impatient. What I'm saying is just a prelude. Now is the climax. If you don't listen carefully to what's going on in front of you, you'll end up asking this and that later, always wanting to know why. "

"That's great, I really can't stand you. Go on, you..."

"That bastard Shi Zhi is really unlucky. After he left, he ran back to his construction site to steal some limestone for fun. At that time, his family's limestone had already been thrown into the lime pit by workers and was gone. He had to pick some fine limestone stuck to the dirt floor. That's when it happened. Shi Zhi had sharp eyes and a careful heart. His eyes were attracted by a few big-bellied fish swimming slowly in the gradually boiling lime water. Perhaps, Shi Zhi wanted to see how the small fish died miserably in the boiling lime water. He wanted to record the death of the little fish in detail in his mind. His head slowly lowered, and his body leaned toward the lime pit. At that time, the clear water in the lime pit had turned milky white and gradually boiled. Shi Zhi still wanted to see clearly. Later, his body bent forward, hanging low, hanging low... butt raised toward the sky. At that critical moment, I rushed towards Shi Zhi from a short distance away, but I didn't dare to say a word. I was afraid that speaking out would scare Shi Zhi. In the end, I was really moving too slowly. 'Slower than a snail, hopelessly slow' I thought. I've always thought so after what happened. At that time, before I arrived, Shi Zhi had already plunged into the lime pit. The scene was truly terrifying. Shi Zhi struggled in the boiling lime water, his two little hands flapping and grabbing randomly, but it was useless, useless, ugh... Immediately, I rushed behind Shi Zhi and grabbed his little feet. , dragging him up hard. I don't know how to explain to you what really happened. It's so scary. Shi Zhi's head and upper body were made of lime mortar. I dare not even touch the sticky, hot lime mortar. I only remember that I was so frightened that I fell onto the dry mud floor, making no sound. At that time I didn't know what I should do for Little Stone. Shi Zhi's face was covered in blood. Blood and water mixed with lime water and flowed into the lime pit together. Soon, the milky white lime water was dyed blood red. Oh...oh my gosh. My head is about to burst. "

"Ding Han, you...are you making up a story for me? "I felt my body shaking.

"I...I...I have nothing to say. "

After Ding Han finished speaking, he got into my cotton sheets. There were big beads of sweat on his face that stuck to my clean quilt, making it wet. He choked and couldn't. Crying loudly. I didn't force him to continue. I already knew the basics of the matter, and there was nothing to ask.

Early the next morning. , I met Shi Zhi’s mother on the trail at the entrance of the village. Her eyes were dull and sore, so tired, miserable, and her whole body seemed to have been numbed by medicine. Her hands were tightly hugged. There was a small box, it was gray and white, and I was scared when I saw her from a distance, so I hid under the eaves. I saw her put the box on the branch of the old longan tree at the entrance of the village. I know that the villagers can't bring the dead children into the village. But I still don't understand why the villagers do this? What a cruel thing for the parents of the children! But... there are many things! I couldn't help it, I was very helpless. I wiped away my tears and looked at Shi Zhi's mother intently. She stood silently in front of the box for a long time...

In the days after Shi Zhi left, Grandma looked at me more closely. I lay in bed and couldn't help but think of those unforgettable happy times playing with Shi Zhi.

It was a winter day that had just rained. The mud on the road was sticky and soft. The drizzle that was falling at that time obscured my eyes and made me feel uncomfortable all over.

The mud on the floor sticks to the shoe boards, which is heavy. No matter how heavy it is, my heart also becomes heavy. I started walking, it was so hard. At that time, Shi Zhi and I played the bunker game. Actually, the bunker game is quite simple. The rules are as follows: players from both sides draw a square on the ground a certain distance apart. The square represents one's own territory, that is, one's own bunker. Team members from both sides have to pass through the gap between the two bunkers to reach the other side's bunker. They go back and forth three times. Whoever reaches the other side's bunker first wins. And if we want to reach the other side's fortress, we must use a tool to do it. This tool is the slender iron rod used at home to make firewood. The players on both sides have to insert the slender iron roots into the mud and connect them in line with their bunkers. This is the attack. If you insert the iron root into the ground for the second time, connect the first insertion point with the second insertion point until you reach the opponent's bunker. If the iron rod is not firmly inserted into the ground during this process, then the opponent loses the round. If the iron bar hits a stone hidden in the soil, the player loses his footing, and the iron bar falls over, he loses the game. At this time, it is up to the opponent to start attacking. Finally, the general attack stage is the climax of the entire game. The first party to reach the opponent's fortress will use iron rods to smash into pieces of the opponent's fortress, leaving it unrecognizable. The relief from hatred is joyful and cool. Therefore, neither side will easily give up any opportunity to defeat the other side. As long as there is still a glimmer of hope, they will do everything possible to kill the other party.

Today, Shi Zhi is really lucky. His first shot stuck firmly into the dirt. When he pushed the iron rod into the mud again, a miracle happened. The moment the iron rod made contact with the floor, dazzling sparks were emitted. Shi Zhi threw the iron rod aside, followed, and squatted down.

"Little stone, baby! Hurry... dig it out quickly." I held it next to Shi Zhi and urged.

"Go, the iron rod hit the stone. Where did the baby come from?"

"Stone? You don't want to stab yourself with the iron rod, do you? Find it quickly Look, I might actually find something for you. Look, the weather is really nice today." "Okay! Stop being ridiculous." , I'll look for it."

Xiao Shitou took action. He found a sharp stone, dug hard into the mud, and picked out the mud bit by bit. Shi Zhi’s exaggerated movements are hilarious. I thought he would dig out a stone, but I miscalculated. His little hands peeled away the soft mud and pulled out a round circle from the small hole. Oh my gosh, he was so lucky, he actually got a bronze plate. The handwriting written on the copper plate can no longer be seen clearly, even if the mud stuck on it is washed with water, it cannot be seen clearly. There is a square hole in the middle of the copper plate, and the entire copper plate is as big as a matchbox. I have never seen such a large copper plate. My two little eyes were fixed on the copper plate in Shi Zhi's hand, wishing I could grab it. However, I did not do anything that I will regret for the rest of my life. Xiao Shitou held the cleaned copper plate in his hand and hurried home tremblingly.

"Hey, brother, our game is not over yet. You want to escape before the winner is decided. Are you still considered a brother? What a coward!"

"You...who are you calling a coward? Ah! I am generous this time. At this moment, in this situation, my heart is happy, and I don't care too much about you. I want to go back and tell me the good news. Mom, let’s consider you the winner this time. Let’s decide next time, okay? Go home, go home...”

“Hey, wait for me, wait.” Wait for me..."

I picked up the iron rod used to lift firewood from the dirt floor and followed closely behind Shi Zhi. However, Shi Zhi's feet felt like the wind was blowing, and for a while, his figure disappeared from the road. Suddenly, Meizi jumped out from the side of the longan tree, scaring me half to death. When Meizi saw me, she burst into tears, which was really outrageous. Girls are busy and annoying.

"Gone, Xiao Shitou is gone. He is really gone. Wu..., Wu..."

Meizi's eyes were red.

She dragged me from the warm cotton nest to the cold bench and poured out her sorrow endlessly. At first I thought her tears were very valuable. Because, looking at her expression, my heart would feel painful. But, it has happened, what can I do? What can Meizi do as a girl? Human life is really fragile. He just left without saying hello. In addition to crying, Meizi still cried, crying so loudly that the whole world was shaken and flooded. I wanted to say something to her, but the words were stuck in my throat, choked with sobs, and I couldn't say anything. Her head rested flatly on my tender shoulder, tears streaming down her face, into my neck, and onto my warm back. In an instant, a cold lightning struck my body, making me feel cold all over. The wind blew together and I couldn't help but shudder. Even so, I still didn't stop Meizi's flooding behavior. Her little head continued to rest on my shoulder, and even though my arms were starting to feel numb and sore, I didn't complain. Looking at Meizi's painful expression, I deeply realized that losing a friend is such a painful thing.