What are some funny jokes about laughing until your stomach hurts?

1. My cousin always "borrows" money from her brother's piggy bank, and her brother is very angry. One day, she was looking around and found a piggy bank in the refrigerator. There is a note in the piggy bank: "Dear sister, I hope you can understand that my assets have now been frozen."

2. My girlfriend made a sweater for her boyfriend. It was very beautiful. Whoever sees it will praise it. After a few days, it was no longer worn. When I asked him why, he said: his girlfriend used the remaining wool to knit another one for her puppy. When walking the dog, someone always said it was a "couple's shirt."

3. One time I went to a friend’s house for dinner. During the dinner, few people moved their chopsticks. I said: Eat it, where will the poop come from if you don’t eat it?

4. The young man: "Sir, I really hope I can come to congratulate you on your 99th birthday next year." The old man: "Young man, you are so young and so strong, you should have no problem living until next year. ”

5. The cow said to the bear: The farmer wants me to plow the fields, the mountain people want me to carry goods and pull the cart, the farmer’s market wants my skin and meat; the stock market wants me to run hard, recently. I often fall down and feel powerless. I have just had another unlucky year. Brother, I will leave the rest to you, please.

6. A supermarket was stolen in the middle of the night. The thief took away everything except shampoo and condoms. So the police came to the conclusion: the thief was an elderly bald man!

7. My boss asked me today: "Do you want a pension?" I said: "Yes!" The boss led me into the financial room, pointed at an old man and said to me, "This is Lao Jin, I’ll ask you to take care of me from now on.”

8. The company cafeteria has always provided soy milk. At first, everyone liked to drink it, but then the taste became weaker and weaker. Maybe too much water was added, and no one could drink it. I don’t want to drink anymore. It was too wasteful to have any leftovers from the meal, so the canteen replaced the soy milk with boiled water. If it were boiled water, no one would drink it. Boiling water requires fuel, but no one would drink it. The water in the canteen would not be boiled at all. As a result, there was only one bucket of tap water in the soy milk bucket. When the boss found out, he said: It's a pity that such a big bucket can only contain tap water. Let's raise a few goldfish in it!

9. Bookstore customer: I want to buy a book in which there is no murder, no love, no detective, no millionaire, and no young girl. So the boss handed him a "Train Timetable".

10. My mother was mopping the floor. When my father saw it, he hurriedly stepped forward and said, "You are not in good health. Please take a break. How can you do such a rough job? From now on, you can just crack melon seeds in the living room and watch." Let others do the rough work like TV." Then he handed the mop to me, who was cracking melon seeds and watching TV.