Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - If you have a job in the future, you should get up early as usual! Do I understand it as "doing things differently"?

If you have a job in the future, you should get up early as usual! Do I understand it as "doing things differently"?

Not so many first episodes. There is this first episode: 1, damn it, I ran into it today. It was his bad luck! 2. What fucking elite? I don't believe this evil, I am playing the elite! At this point, if we can't do anything else, we will attack! 4, no, tough is not like you! You can't just play cold, you should learn to use your head, don't let others go, and put yourself in! We don't do business at a loss! 5. retreat? Sakata United's bayonets are all on Lao Tzu's nose. Why don't you retreat at this time? Fortunately, they can figure it out! Anyway, this is a breakthrough. Where is it different to go out? 6. "Zhang Dabiao, stand at attention! Let me ask you a question. Who is the head of the new regiment? " "Li Yunlong" "Speak up!" "Report, the head of the new regiment is Li Yunlong, and the battalion commander Zhang Dabiao has finished!" "Execute the order!" 7, brothers, it is said that the little devil has two skills of bayonet, I don't believe this evil. They all have one head on two shoulders. Who's afraid of who? Our new regiment is not afraid. Even if the devil comes, I have to hug him a few beards! I told you, the brave win when you meet in a narrow way! 8. As long as I am in Li Yunlong, I won't leave my brother! 9, then it can't be too real, and you can't hear what manners are! 10, as the saying goes, you can't die if you faint, just do what you like. Anyway, when things are done, I regret that I have no place to buy medicine. Let him shoot or go to jail! 1 1, damn it, people fart and hit their heels when they are unlucky! What do you think is wrong with me? Didn't you just break through Yujialing? Anyway, this is a breakthrough. From which fucking direction is a breakthrough, not a breakthrough I killed Sakata, didn't even give me a reward, and demoted me! Mrding, don't stand there and say it's easy. Demotion is nothing, even if let me be the company commander! He made me a fucking director of a bedding factory! That's a man's job. Isn't that forcing Zhang Fei to embroider? Episode 2: 1. Did I let you decide? Lao Tzu is still the factory director! Help me pack, 200 yuan, no less! I said, I can't do this factory director for nothing! 2. Brothers, do you know what I like about Li Yunlong? I like wolves! Wolves are fierce and slippery, especially wolves and tigers are afraid of three points! From now on, I will let the devils know in Li Yunlong that when we meet our independent regiment, we will meet a group of wolves, a group of screaming wolves! In the eyes of our wolves, any opponent who calls for battle is our favorite piece of meat! We are wolves, eating the flesh of the devil and chewing the bones of the devil! Wolves travel thousands of miles to eat meat, and dogs travel thousands of miles to eat shit! When will our wolf improve his life? It's time to meet the Japanese! The third episode: 1, Kong Erzi, then we have to make it clear in person. These hundreds of Kerma horses are not a pack of cigarettes. Whoever smokes them are all smokers! Although you and I are classmates, I think it is better to settle accounts with my brother. To put it bluntly, you, the deputy head of the regiment, are just a part-time Mike here, and you can't tell when you will be transferred and straightened. To tell you the truth first, then you can't beat me hundreds of horses. Zhao Gang, don't stare at me! You didn't know where Lao Tzu was when he was fighting in Hubei, Henan and Anhui! I told you, I did it, so what? Report to the division commander and brigade commander! If you want to kill me, cut me. Li Yunlong has it! I said brigade commander, and I am also the head of the regular army. I'm not even as good as the county brigade, am I? Didn't this smash our teacher's signboard? Guess what the brigade commander said? The brigade commander said, I have equipment. What do I want you to do? Since you can be a colonel, you have the ability to get a gun, or you can go home and hold the baby! Don't embarrass me here! Hey, this is what I've been waiting for! I'll get the gun, no problem! But you can't put a spell on me, can you? You have to give me some autonomy. You can't let your brigade commander do everything! You want me to be a gun, you want me to be a ghost child. This is unreasonable! 4, the official level was crushed to death! All right, Brigadier, I admit it! If you want to rob you, just say, why are you looking for these excuses? 5. How can I do business at a loss? Li Yunlong asked the logistics minister for a Grenade, but the minister didn't give it to him. You see, I have long heard that Zhang Wanhe, the logistics minister, is actually not from Dabie Mountain, and has long fled from Shanxi. I didn't believe it at first either. This time, I believed it. This is fucking digging. That's not a gold ingot. Can you have a baby with him? If you don't give it today, I won't go! You have to take care of the food! The logistics minister promised to give grenades, but asked Li to exchange things. ) We are poor and don't even have a wife. If I had a wife, I would trade my wife for fifty boxes of grenades! 8. (Minister Zhang wants Li to exchange Japanese sabers for grenades) What should I do? Piece of cake, good knife! I can't get Okamura Ningji's knife. It's not difficult to get an assistant officer? You give me ten more cases, and I'll find you a Japanese bitch! 9. (Li scolded for not robbing the main task) If you ask me, a bear needs a litter of bears! I can't get any meat from an independent group, but you are so bear in front of your superiors! What are you afraid of? Why can't you fight the brigade commander? The fourth episode: 1, (Colonel Kong asked Li why he didn't take the main task) I tell you, I can still leave you a little room at ordinary times, and the whole group has to listen to me when the gunfire rings! You have to shut up, too! 2. Commodore: "But listen to me, when it's your turn, you won't be able to fight ..." (Words haven't finished yet) Li immediately replied: "Twist my head and it's chamber pot!" Remember, when you see that boy Yamazaki, no one is allowed to shoot. Keep it for me, and I'll skin him alive! The fifth episode: 1, (Lao Zhao forced Li to learn to write and accused Li of writing badly) I stopped writing, so what's the use of learning it? As long as you can fight! Scholar culture is high, but no matter how high the culture is, can it beat the devil away? ..... Anyway, I don't write, I learn a few words more tired than fighting! 2, (Li Jiao practises stabbing) You have the ability to stab others in the ribs. If you are not good at it, you deserve to get hurt! I would rather let the soldiers get injured in training than die on the battlefield. 4. Let's make this rule independently. We have the ability to eat meat and can't even drink soup. Who let your boy live up to expectations? 5. friendly troops? This is my friendly guard! 6. (Chu wants to send a female gun to Li) "Brother Chu wants to send it, it is better to send a man to me!" I don't want my mother. " What do you mean, "Colonel Li? Please make it clear. " "You're a gentleman with a bitch, and it's a joke when it gets out!" Episode 6: 1. Soldiers have momentum, they must fight to the end. Just like a swordsman, he found himself the best swordsman in the world. At this time, knowing that you are dead, you must also show your sword! Don't be a swordsman without this courage. There is no shame in falling under the sword of your opponent. This is a glorious failure. Our soldiers in China can't be cowards. When they meet the enemy, they will show their swords and never be vague! 2, we can't cry for a long time and don't know who is dead! The enemy's action is unknown, so let's stay here. I'm just a mosquito, I'm going to bite him out of a tube of blood, and I have a camp in my hand! 4, (Chu is worried about the success or failure of the ambush) singing opera is not tired, and watching the play hurts the body! I know how much I weigh. 5. Pass my orders, don't move, stand by and attack! Even if you shit, you have to shit in your pants. You don't agree that I hit him here, do you? Boy, learn, it's called copying the Japanese. I will make him care about the whole thing. 7. Look, there is oil and water on this road. The weather is fine today, and we are all in a good mood. Let's beat him, son of a bitch The seventh episode: 1, because my opponent doesn't know what I can do! 2. There is no unbreakable encirclement! For our independent regiment, Lao Tzu will not regard it as a breakthrough war, but as what? As an attack, attack the enemy in front of us! 3, death will die on the way to the charge! Episode 8: 1, well played! Look, Japanese devils are parents' children, and they are also fleshy. If the bullet goes in, it will still go through a hole. How about Bushido? I played Bushido! Episode 9: 1, I didn't explain it. I just want to tell you that I don't want the Japanese to roast chicken in Li Yunlong. I don't like the way to die with a coward's bag. If I die, I will die on the way to charging! 2. Tell him that Lao Zi is Li Yunlong, the head of the independent regiment, and he has a report. Let him in. Li Yunlong was trapped in a room by the Japanese, and Zhao Gang came to save him. Lao Zhao, do you have a cigarette? I feel sick, I want to smoke! Episode 10: 1, (Li Yunlong "shakes" and is ill in bed) Lao Zhao, I promise that within a year, our independent regiment will still be a main force and an iron army. 2. The cadres of the whole regiment should correct their attitude from me and put down the shelf of the regular army. What should we be? Think of us as ... by the way, think of us as Liangshan heroes who gather mountains and waters. What is the way to live? Drink and eat meat, which is called gold and silver. I have only one principle in Li Yunlong. You can only take advantage, but you can't lose. I won't do business at a loss. As soon as the gunfire rings, you have to bring something back to Lao tze. I'm not picky about food. I want everything. Food, clothes, guns, ammunition ... I can't get much, and I'm not happy without it. If anyone can't get it, I'm a bitch! Lao Zhao, I can memorize your polite words. ..... You intellectuals are so sour! ..... In fact, can't you speak some vernacular? Let me know if you have anything to do. If I can, I will change my way! 6. We mean what we say, or are we still called men? 7. Is it easy for me to save this money? It's like marrying a daughter-in-law I saved some money to build a house, find someone to fix it up, make a dowry and hold a banquet. When I finish my work, the bride will soon enter the bridal chamber. Well, I have nothing at this time! (Li transferred from the new regiment to the independent regiment) 8. If I don't have any other abilities in Li Yunlong, I will seize everything the devil has! 9. Hit him, son of a bitch, with or without orders from headquarters! 1 1 episode: 1, Chu is a man, but the 358th regiment is just a piece of cake in my eyes! 2. In order to help Chu clean up the door, Lao Tzu used a cavalry company and two infantry battalions to walk back and forth for dozens of kilometers today. Should he still give me some money to run errands? When we rural people are busy, we go to large families to do short-term work, and our wages are settled every day, and we will not be in arrears. Today, I work part-time for Chu Yunfei, and he naturally has to pay me. Episode 12: 1. I can't give lectures. How to teach without education? To tell the truth, as soon as I get down to business, I'm outspoken, and swearing is also quite neat. Do you think all your women's rescue groups are lesbians? If I am not careful, I will be scolded by my parents. Why don't those women stab me with awls with soles? Tell the boss not to talk too much, ok? What, don't I look like a boss? Your boy pursed his ass and looked up at the sky, as blind as a bat! What if you really become a boss with money? 3. Brother, after all these years, are you still selling vegetables at home? Martial arts practitioners should be bloody! Did you just watch the Japanese ride on our heads? Can you swallow this tone? Episode 13: 1. What's different about rabbit fighting? It's just that old Li Can couldn't take care of it. Brother Chu, to tell you the truth, brother, I am rich! I quit the regular army anyway. I'm a mountain king now, guarding the highway line of the little devil. Is there anything to eat? After drinking, do your job and enjoy yourself! I'm afraid the japs won't stay long. Who will eat when the little devil is gone? 2. (Talking to Chu about Li transporting a battalion of equipment) Brother Chu, I'll teach you a way. If manager Yan traces it down, you can blame it on me. You can say that Li Yunlong has a bad personality and never helps his friends for free. Even if I send troops to buy those equipment, it will cost money. Officer Yan comes from a big family and knows this rule. He knows that he has to be paid for helping others. 3. "If you help, you will get paid. There is something wrong with this character ... "Li:" Do you want to say that people are short-sighted? As the saying goes, the tables have turned, and one day there will be a mutiny in my army, so I can only rely on your help! If your brother Chu comes to hug the grass and shoot rabbits, I promise not to say anything! " 4. "Brother Yunlong has a bright future! I hope that you and my brother will not meet on the battlefield in the future! " "If one day, that also does not have method. Brother Yun Fei, I can't help but take it! " I know (Lao Zhao criticized Li for going out privately). If I go out again in the future, I'll go to the division hundreds of miles away and ask for leave from the teacher, okay? Episode 14: 1, ouch, you treat my Li Yunlong as a treasure, who else wants it? If so, why am I not single now? 2. (Li Qiongxiu Qin, Zhao criticized) Is it so serious? Oh, wrong this time! Lao Zhao, I can only hug you once. Lao Zhao, you can't escape destruction! What a disaster this time! Lao Zhao, don't make fun of me! Our group are all bachelors, and I can't be special when I am the head of the team. Besides, it's war now. Brothers live together, die together, share weal and woe, marry a daughter-in-law, marry the whole group of brothers together, or become a monk together! 4. Now, I will talk about my love experience as an experienced person ... According to my love experience, love is nothing complicated. To put it bluntly, the tortoise looks at mung beans-right eye! 5, the wedding, to put it bluntly, is that a man and a woman sleep on a hoe, there must be a saying, otherwise it will be messed up. So, just one meal, everyone's mouth is blocked, which saves everyone from watching all the time and making irresponsible remarks. 6. Don't think that I will go to the kang as soon as I see my daughter-in-law! Episode 15: 1, Lao Zhao, don't be a fucking coward. You want to give up and leave, there is no way! You are so boring! Get out and leave me alone. Is it more important to eat or fight? You'll lose your head if you don't play well. What kind of man would you eat? 3. What do you want? The teacher is hundreds of miles away from us. As soon as the instruction comes out, the day lily is cold! 4. The main force of friends and neighbors has no right to mobilize and is willing to come. Tell them that we will go to the county town to drink and eat meat, and whoever is greedy will join us. If I eat anything in Li Yunlong, he will eat anything. If someone is afraid to come, then I don't care, I'm not afraid to hold on! As long as we are full. I can throw as many meters as I can in Li Yunlong, and an independent regiment plus several county brigades, district teams and militia will be enough! 5. What are you afraid of? I'm the chief officer. If my boss finds me, shoot me. Execute the order! 6, it seems that you all worked hard and became fucking rich! Episode 16: 1, stop talking nonsense, can the living still hold their urine? This time, our army is eight to one. I have never fought so many wars in my life. Everybody let go and be the landlord, no assists, all fucking main attack! Don't talk like a lotus, your 3rd battalion commander. You change the assist into the main attack, and I won't add people or guns to you. Change one word at a time, and you will be murderous. Give me good spirit! I guess the stargate building is a hard bone to chew. Even if I break my front tooth, I will bite it open before the enemy reinforcements arrive! Episode 17: 1, Yamamoto, what the fuck are you? What is the article about a woman? 2. "Mr. Li, since 937, how many Japanese have you met who voluntarily surrendered?" "Then what the fuck are you talking about? Shoot me! " 3. Don't do this! You and I both know that one minute can decide the outcome of the battle! I, Li Yunlong, will not trade my soldier's life for my wife! 408 feet and 22 inches of fire! Fuoco! Fuoco! Listen carefully, the independent team will be handed over to you now. I, Li Yunlong, acted without authorization, and my crime was inevitable. There is only one thing. Don't bring down the separatists! But now the soldier is strong, Ma Zhuang! involve