Xiao Ming’s jokes and stories will make you laugh so hard

A collection of jokes and stories about Xiao Ming that will make you laugh your ass off

The monk’s family messed up in the bath, why did they mess up? Come and read the joke stories and you will know.

Wealth

A poor man wanted to marry a beautiful woman, but he was afraid that she would not allow her, so he bribed the matchmaker to tell her that her family was rich. The wife promised her, and when she passed the door, she saw that the walls were desolate and there was nothing in the house. Knowing that he has fallen into a trap, he often bursts into tears and resents the matchmaker.

The poor man held out his penis, which was unusually large and majestic. He placed it on the table and knocked it several times, but still put it away and said: I am not boasting that others keep their money at home, but I keep my belongings with me. If the lady doesn't want to, please come back. The woman hurriedly covered her tears and said, "Who said you were here?"

People who are good at getting lice

Some people who are good at getting lice say that they can avoid getting twelve lice in a year. When asked why, he said: There is really one lice a month on my body.

Praise for penises

A man was visiting a foreign country and asked the author: "Do the people in your land like big penises?"

The natives were very happy and replied He said: Sure enough, but I don’t know how your distinguished guest knows? He said: I prostituted at your place for several nights and felt that the vagina here is wider than elsewhere, so I know.

Big Breasts

A woman’s breasts were extremely large, and she always tied them up with a bra. One day, I forgot to tighten my bra and went out to see someone. The man was surprised and asked: When was your son born?

The woman said: She has not given birth yet. Someone asked: Since you are not your son, what do you have on your chest?

Scratching the back

The old man remarried a woman, and his son went to eavesdrop at night, but he heard her shouting happily and frequently. It's called Shuangli. The son was overjoyed and said: "My father still has such energy in his old age, and he has a long life."

Looking closely, he ordered the woman to scratch her back.

No, hey.

Everyone has a drinking order, and they have to drink. If there is a person who farts at the banquet, the official will say: No, he will be fined a drink. The other person said, "It's a fart noise." The officer said, "If you don't, I will punish you with another drink."

I sat down and laughed. The order officer said: "Everyone in the audience is not allowed to drink. Each of them will be fined a cup of wine."

Afraid of cold

Or ask: What is not afraid of cold in the world? He said: nasal discharge, which comes out when the weather is cold. He also asked: What is the most afraid of the cold? He said: Fart, it just left the cave buttocks, and then went into the nostrils.

The tabletop rang

When one person is accompanying a guest, he or she farts. Feeling very ashamed, and wanting to hide it, he pretended to make a sound by wiping his fingers on the table. The guest said: The first sound is still the same.

Frog crows

In-laws A and B are having a wedding, and B and I pull away. A asks: "My dear, how loud is it?" B is afraid of being indecent, so he replies: "Frogs crow." A said: Why does it stink?

B said: It’s dead. He asked again: "You just know how to bark, how can you die?" Yi said: "If you bark, you will die."

Thief fart

He was hiding under someone’s bed and suddenly farted loudly. The husband scolds his wife, and she says, "You fart, but you have wronged me!" The quarrel continues.

The thief had no choice but to come out and confess: This fart was actually caused by the thief.

Greed

A general took out his collection of treasures and antiques to appreciate and play with, and accidentally almost broke a jade cup. Fortunately, he grabbed the cup quickly, but he was already sweating profusely. After he calmed down and thought: I have never been afraid of anyone since I came from death to life, why did a small cup scare me like this?

After a long time, the general finally understood: there is greed. That's why he was so frightened. So he broke the jade cup.

Monk’s family bathes in a disorderly manner

When a monk sees a Taoist priest taking a bath, he always invites his wife first, and then the master. The monk said with emotion: "Our monk family has no rules. Before the old monk came down, the young monk took off his clothes first."

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The Stingy Rich Man

There was a stingy rich man who was reluctant to eat anything and would not let his children buy good food. So the son and daughter thought of a trick and went to the market to buy the fish and put it on his father's way home. The rich man happened to pick it up. When he saw that no one was there, he took it home and had a meal with his son and daughter. A few days later, the children put another bag of fish for the rich man to pick. The rich man refused to pick it and said, "The fish I picked last time cost me half a bottle of vinegar, so I still pick it?" ;