Li Yi's jokes

1 defense

German goalkeeper Kahn's state is declining and he is afraid of losing his main position. I learned that China Li Yi's defense was particularly strong, so I came to Shenzhen to learn from it. An eagle-eyed fan found out and came to Li See Yi and asked, "What do you think of Yi Lee's defense?" A: "Much better than me," the fans looked incredulous and added, "He not only defended well, but also always helped the enemy out in the most suitable place at the first time."

2 oolong

Yi Lee hasn't scored for 1 260 minutes this year, so he is under pressure from the fans. Even Guo Ruilong was anxious to score a goal, but the game was almost over and the score was still 0-0. Hearing the crowd booing, he turned back to the restricted area, even people rushed into the goal with the ball, and then shouted at Li, who said I couldn't score, but I could?

3 stability

Since Li Yi scored an own goal, Li Weifeng, Li Leilei and Yang Chen have been communicating with Guo Ruilong every day, thinking that he is not suitable to be captain, but Guo Ruilong refused anyway. One day, when Li was in a hurry, Guo Ruilong popped out a sentence: "Look at Li Yi, how steady he is. When you have been playing so steadily for a year and a half, the captain will let you do it. "

4 don't shoot

Ruihui Company signed Yi Lee for US$ 2.5 million as its image spokesperson, believing that the Pearl River Delta has a bright future in the mainland market and does not want to see a sharp drop in sales. 96% of the respondents said they were afraid it would be as outrageous as Yi Lee.

Five penalty kicks

Shenzhen made a small ball, and people flocked to it. Li Yi tried to shoot in the previous step, but was held back by Li Weifeng. Li Yi was angry: "The opportunity is rare. Let me score. I didn't score a goal. " Li Weifeng was even angrier: "The easier it is to get in, the harder it is to get in."

Six goals

A fan streaked in the streets of Shenzhen, shouting: "Li Yi scored, Li Yi scored." A didn't believe it: "When he scored, the rain turned red." B disdain: "The sun rises in the west." C said gloomily, "The earth is going to be destroyed." Ding went to the stadium to verify that the Shenzhen team was practicing penalty kicks.

7 self-confidence

A new psychotherapy clinic has been opened in schlappner. Li Yi went and asked him why he couldn't score. Schlappner said to him earnestly, "If you don't score, you will kick the goal." Yi Lee said distressfully, "I can't find my goal, and I'm losing confidence." Schlappner thought about it and took him to a place that turned out to be a kindergarten football field. Then he said to the children, "Everybody be quiet. I'll bring Li Yi to play with you. "

One good turn deserves another.

Chen Yongqiang was hospitalized after being chopped several times. The reporter chased after the captain Li Yi's opinion on this matter. A reporter asked, "Chi Shangbin's karma, what about Chen Yongqiang?" Li Yi was asked urgently and blurted out: "Good intentions are rewarded."

9 such conversion

Knowing that Li Yi missed the top four in East Asia, Japanese coach Jike asked the players calmly, "Do you know what this means?" Nakata hidetoshi said: "Does the other team have an extra striker?" Son shook his head. "That's right." Pu Jun Nakamura said: "We are short of a defender."

10 is better than Sun Jihai.

Guo Ruilong criticized the abnormal phenomenon that Li Yi didn't score goals. Yi Li curled his lips. "I think this is normal. See Sun Jihai less than me. "

1 1 popular.

In Dalian, Li Yi thought he would be bombarded and sat on the bench. Yang Chen played very well, and Li Yi's voice rang out on the court. Li Yi was very proud and said to Guo Ruilong, "Just let me go, because the fans welcome me so much." Guo Ruilong frowned. "Those are Dalian fans." Li Yi proudly said, "It's really a godsend. Even Dalian fans love me so much."

12 favorite striker

After the Super League, the Football Association selected the most popular striker. In the selection of club coaches, Shenzhen Li Yi was unanimously elected with irresistible charm. A coach said emotionally, "If only everyone's striker was Li Yi except my team."

13 alternative

Paraguay came to China for a friendly match with Shenzhen team. After the game, another goalkeeper, chilavert, said, "I think I am different. I didn't expect Li Yi of the Shenzhen team to open my eyes. " Seeing that the reporter looked puzzled, he added: "I am an offensive goalkeeper, and he is more powerful and a defensive striker."

14 Goodwill Ambassador

Facing the business crisis, the Football Association decided to elect football goodwill ambassadors nationwide to promote football. Results In the netizen selection, Yi Lee was elected with a high vote of 99%, because he has always carried forward the goodwill spirit of friendship first and competition second, and solved the crisis of his opponents many times, becoming the only bright spot in utilitarian football and setting an example for international pacifists.

15 does not match.

Yi Lee is popular all over the country, making Li Weifeng jealous. One day, he couldn't help asking, "We have been advancing and retreating together. Why can't I be so red if you are so red? " Yi Lee said, "Because you are not qualified." Li Weifeng was angry: "That's enough." "Because I am out of line than you."

Ride it.

Sister Furong surfed the Internet at home and found that the emperor was in the limelight recently and overwhelmed himself. In a rage, she smashed the monitor. When her boyfriend asked her why, Furong said, "I was so angry that Li Yi was on me." Boyfriend is furious: "Which Li Yi? People who dare to bully me. " "Except Li Yi in Shenzhen, who dares to hold me down?" The boyfriend turned blue and said softly, "Just press it. Forget it if you lose. I can't afford to offend. "

17 likes Yi Lee.

The teacher said to the students, "Nothing is difficult in the world, if you put your mind to it. What does it mean to be difficult? " The first student said, "Play football like Li Yi." The second said, "Score like Yi Lee." The third said, "As red as Li Yi."

18 blow

When Chi Shangbin was in Shenzhen, the sky was always gloomy. Later, Li Yi shouted that it was dawn. It is said that Yi Lee blew Chi Shangbin away with a sigh. It didn't take long for it to get dark in Shenzhen. It is said that cows, bison, buffaloes and scalpers are flying in the sky in Shenzhen. Why are there so many cows flying in the sky? According to the weather bureau, someone is blowing on the ground.

19 navigation

A Boeing 747 plane was caught in a fog near Shenzhen, and the navigation system failed again. Pilots have no choice but to consider illegally contacting the ground with their mobile phones. But suddenly something grazed the wing, and the pilot landed at the airport with the help of the UFO of the passenger. Amid the cheers of passengers, the reporter squeezed in and asked the pilot: How did you find the landing site accurately? He explained to the reporter: "I saw a football brush the wing just now." You know that only Li Yi from Shenzhen has this ability in the world, so I decided it was Shenzhen Stadium, so that I could easily and accurately find the landing site. "

More than 20 planes

Shenzhen Air Traffic Management Bureau announced that Fiona Fang Wuli of Shenzhen Stadium was a no-fly zone. As a member of CPPCC, Li Weifeng went to ask questions. The air traffic control bureau said that masturbation is very common in Shenzhen Stadium because of Li Yi's existence. Unless Li Yi promises not to shoot, the no-fly zone will be lifted only when the safety of passenger planes is guaranteed.