Why is it called Zheng?

I have a cousin named Cai Zheng. He is a carpenter who walks the streets. Cai Zheng is easy-going and helpful, and likes lively occasions and jokes. In our village, no matter which family needs help, you can see his active figure. He is helping his neighbor to build a shed today and helping others to dry millet tomorrow. He is very busy and works harder than his master.

As long as someone asks him for help, he is always responsive, preferring to leave his family behind and go to help others. For this reason, his wife had a lot of quarrels with him. My cousin's spirit of helping others won a good reputation as "Cai Zheng is a good man" in our village.

Praise from the villagers

Because Cai Zheng likes joking, he is easy-going regardless of his age. He is not angry if the children in the village dare to call him "Lao Zheng" to his face. Once, he was playing furniture in a villager's house and accidentally cut his finger by a planer, which was quite serious. During his illness at home, none of the villagers he had helped before visited him.

I went home to visit him, and he cursed the villagers for being heartless in front of me. I comforted him and told him, "In fact, the problem lies with yourself, because you are too kind and warm-hearted to blame others."

We must first understand this truth.

1, the remarkable characteristics of emotional and warm-hearted people.

In daily interpersonal communication, there is an emotional and enthusiastic person who has three remarkable characteristics:

(1) Look at feelings more than anything else, and always consider others;

(2) enthusiasm and wit, everything is responsive. They help others and feel very satisfied and happy;

(3) In order to be popular, I would rather lose myself, but also help others and never embarrass others;

I'd rather lose myself in order to help others.

In daily life, we also have this feeling:

The money you earned by moving bricks so hard, you can't wait to break a penny into two and spend it; If you are lucky enough to earn a little money, you will spend it without stint.

2. Why is this happening?

In interpersonal communication, whether we treat family, friendship or love, we must understand a truth: the easier we get, the less we will cherish!

Take the process of love between men and women as an example:

You meet a girl who fascinates you. If a girl deliberately hangs your appetite in order to test your sincerity and sincerity, it will give you a feeling of being at arm's length and refusing to welcome you back. You managed to catch up with this girl. You will cherish this hard-won love.

Want to refuse but pretend to accept

If you coax a girl with a few cookies and a few sweet words, she will throw herself at you without shyness. This kind of cheap "love" is easy to get, usually you won't cherish it, but you will think this girl is very casual and frivolous.

Second, to help others, we should grasp the principles and pay attention to skills.

When someone needs help, if you can lend a helping hand in time, it will really help to close the relationship between people, but to help others, you should grasp the principles and pay attention to skills.

At school, the teacher taught us that "helping others is a fine tradition of the Chinese nation". But you can't foolishly take this sentence as a dogma. "Good people" do not necessarily have "good news". Otherwise, helping others indiscriminately, regardless of the object, is either being cheated or causing disaster to yourself. "Give someone a rose, leave a lingering fragrance in your hand", lend a helping hand to those in need and help those who deserve our help.

2. Be sure to understand the truth that "extremes meet". Don't be too kind, easy to talk and easy to use, or you will live as a joke in the eyes of others. A principled and bottom-line refusal can make others grateful and awe you.

refuse

When others ask you for help, if you happen to have something urgent to do, you can't leave your own things to help others; If you promise others readily, you should show a happy look instead of giving people a reluctant expression. Otherwise, even if you help others, others will not appreciate you and remember your kindness.

There is an old saying: "Let's fight for rice and autumn". When others are in danger, they will appreciate you if you give them a little help. If you give him too much help and make him dependent, once you stop helping, he will resent you and even turn against you, because he takes your help and relief for granted.