Do you know the jokes that others tell you?

Come on, I'll tell you 20 (no one can copy! Plagiarist, chop ... stand for an hour! )

Children's products:

Aunt next door.

Mom: "Xiao Ming, you are so old that you need a hug from your mother." You are a shame! " "

Xiao Ming: "Aunt Zhang next door is older than me, so she just gives her father a hug."

2. Fish don't sleep

Three children, A, B and C, are talking.

Jia Gaifa asked, "What is the most industrious animal in the world?"

The second child said, "Needless to say, the hardest thing is cattle and horses."

Child C said, "In my opinion, the hardest animal is fish."

Everyone was puzzled and asked him, "What do you mean?"

Zi Bing replied: "Although the cows and horses are hard, they still have a place to sleep at night, just like fish swimming in the water all day. Isn't it the hardest job to have no place to sleep? "

There are two countries in the world.

The kitten went to kindergarten. One day, the teacher asked: Who knows how many countries there are in the world?

The kitten said: I know!

The teacher said: Then tell me which countries there are.

The kitten said: There are two countries, namely China and foreign countries!

4. Why doesn't Uncle wash his face?

My two-and-a-half-year-old daughter often says some ridiculous things.

One day watching Africans dance on TV, she suddenly asked, "Mom, why doesn't this uncle wash his face?"

I am not a hen.

-

Mother told Pippi to get up: "Get up quickly! The rooster has crowed several times! "

Pippi said, "What does cock crow have to do with me? I am not a hen! "

Computer articles

6. High technology

A high-tech computer company in Silicon Valley secretly obtained an undisclosed secret program, and the boss handed it over to four engineers from Germany, Japan, the United States and Taiwan Province Province of China for research.

A week later, the boss called them to report the research results.

The German engineer was the first to say, "I have seen the whole architecture clearly, and it should not be a problem to develop it by our own ability."

The Japanese engineer then reported: "I kept in mind the boss's instructions and studied the whole design carefully." Found that there are many things that can be copied. If we improve them and add them to our programs, I believe this will be of great help to the company. "

The American engineer reluctantly said, "I have good news and bad news." The good news is that I have cracked the password protection of the whole key technology. The bad news is that this also destroys the whole program. "

The boss was shocked: "What should I do? There is only one copy of this program! "

When everyone was racking their brains to imagine a solution, I saw that the engineer in Taiwan Province Province was still talking and laughing calmly, so the boss asked him for a solution.

Taiwan Province engineer said calmly, "Nothing! I have made a big supplement, and you can have as many sets as you want. "

Delete mosquitoes

The school is holding a computer training class, and the students complain about the poor teaching conditions. In class, mosquito bites are really unbearable. Some students raised their hands and said, "Teacher, can you put the mosquitoes in the classroom in the recycling bin and delete them completely?" The teacher said, "Yes, but you must choose first." .

8. The computer turned out to be a girl

Computers must be girls! ! Because:

1. Most boys will have a crush on her. Of course, there are always exceptions.

Most girls are hostile to her.

The longer I stay with her, the more I can't live without her.

The longer you spend with her, the more money you spend.

She is always at the forefront of fashion.

Her memory is surprisingly good, but she often forgets the most important things.

7. She looks smart, but in fact she is confused. Everything has to be arranged and explained for her. Otherwise, she will definitely answer "wrong command or file name".

8. Occasionally, she will lose her temper and play a lady's temper, but most of them will "crash" when you need her most, and there is no time to "archive" at all.

9. Telephone recording

The following is a true story that happened in Novell Network Systems.

Customer: "Hello, is this the technical service department?"

Technician: "Yes. What can I do for you? "

Customer: "The cup holder on my computer is broken. This computer is not guaranteed yet. How can I fix it? "

Technician: "Excuse me, did you just say that you want to repair the cup holder?"

Customer: "Not bad. It was originally installed in the front of the computer. "

Technician: "I'm really sorry. If I confuse you, it is because I am really confused myself. Is that teacup seat a gift you bought at the fair? Is there a trademark on it? How did you get it? "

Customer: "I don't know what gift." It was brought by the computer itself, and there was only one word' 4x' on it. "

At this time, the technician had to hang up, and he really couldn't talk to the other party. It turns out that this gentleman pulled out the CD tray on the CD and used it as a teacup holder.

10. Jokes about power

The machines in the computer room are lined up. The vertical chassis is usually placed on the right side of the monitor, but here it is all placed on the left side. I finished my work, so I turned it off: my right index finger habitually pressed the power ... ...

..... the MM on the right screams.

1 1. IQ test

One day in the late Ming Dynasty, Obana went to the playground to play. Later, they found a machine to measure IQ. They are very excited! I quickly ran to the top to test my IQ ... After Xiao Ming stood up, the computer showed: "IQ ... 102; After Xiaohua stood up, the computer showed: IQ ... 105; Then it was his turn to be slow. After he stood up, the computer "wow" didn't respond. Turns out he just doesn't believe in evil. He tried again. After a long time, the computer finally showed: ... Please don't make fun of the stone!

12. Destroy me

A branch office of a post office is connected to the general administration through MODEM, but the line quality is not good and it is often disconnected when used.

So, the branch called the maintenance personnel, "My machine is broken. ...

The maintainer said, "Your process is hanging on it. Wait a minute, let me help you kill it ... "

After a long time, the sub-bureau called and said, "I hung up again, you killed me!" " "

Conversations in the office.

Our manager is very busy, so he always speaks briefly and forcefully. One day, a colleague's computer was infected with a virus, so he reported to the manager, "My computer is poisoned. What should I do? " The manager said, "Then you committed suicide!" Colleague: "..." (sweating) was later interpreted as: killing the virus yourself.

14. Recruit programmers

A dog was wandering in the street and saw a notice in the window: "programmer wanted." Programming, team spirit, proficient in at least two languages. Equal opportunities. 」

The dog went in to apply and was rejected.

"I can't hire a dog to work in the company." The manager said.

Not convinced, the dog pointed to the words "equal opportunity" on the notice to protest.

The manager had no choice but to sigh and ask disdainfully, "Can you program?"? 」

The dog silently went to the computer, programmed it and worked accurately.

"Do you have team spirit?" The manager asked.

The dog turned and looked out of the door. A large group of wild dogs are waiting outside.

"I really can't hire a dog to do this job." The manager said angrily.

"Even if I can program and have team spirit, I need employees who are proficient in at least two languages. 」

The dog looked up at the manager and said, "Meow-oh. 」

15. Press any key.

The company is changing the computer instruction "press any key" to "press enter".

Because the company receives numerous calls from customers every day asking where the "arbitrary key" is on the computer.

16. escape characters

As soon as I heard this joke that day, I told it to my computer beginner MM, who found it very interesting. In the evening, she wanted to type something with CCED ... and then she asked me, "How can I finish saving it?"

I replied, "You can see it by pressing Esc." So I saw her very obedient and pressed-"E, S, C ..."

17. Mom's washing machine

On one occasion, Mr. Shi Jun, director of IBM Telecom Department, gave a speech.

In order to let everyone hear, the staff specially installed a wireless microphone for him, but he didn't want to wear it, so he began to talk: the equipment now is really advanced. I bought a fully automatic washing machine for my mother before, but she never needed it. ...

After a while, the staff found that the microphone didn't work. After checking, I found that the original switch was not turned on. Teacher Shi Jun said with a smile, I know why my mother doesn't use the washing machine. She can't switch it!

18. Report your worries

Life tips:

Do you have any enemies?

Who do you think is not pleasing to the eye

What to do: order him a great reference book!

19. Step on

Some time ago, it was reported that bill. Gates met a tramp in the street. The man asked Bill. Gates asked for charity, and under some soft grinding and hard foam, Bill Gates extended a helping hand to him. The tramp thanked Bill. Gates left his email.

Bill Gates almost fainted to the ground, only after investigation did he know that this email was a new weapon for the homeless in the shelter.

20. The hard disk used by Jesus

I found that M$ tried to modify the current calendar. Today, I typed a CHKDSK in DOS, and found that my D partition was created in1June 65438+May 3, 9971June 265438+May 3, 20071F partition was created in1June 65430.

Well, that's all I have. If you are not satisfied, you can go to www.haha365.com. There are many more on it!