Degang Guo's funny quotations?

Smoking fake cigarettes, drinking fake wine, watching fake balls, listening to fake songs, wearing fake brand names and wearing fake hoods. Turtles are real in the

Smoking fake cigarettes, drinking fake wine, watching fake balls, listening to fake songs, wearing fake brand names and wearing fake hoods. Turtles are real in the world, also called turtles. The following are the classic quotations from Degang Guo that I recommend to you. Welcome to read the collection.

one

1. Spend a dollar to buy a bottle of mineral water, and you will vomit after drinking it. Fake! What's with the water?

It takes a lot of effort to say cross talk. I am sweating here. You don't sweat when you look at others, but they are sweating.

We want Yu Qian to commit suicide to thank the world. ...

4. In my mind, Yu Qian is a perfect man ... This man is finished.

Brain kernels are like pine nuts, which are cooked in a bowl as soon as they are opened.

6. It is good that people live for fame and fortune. I just want to make money. I eat well, dress well and live a good life, so I can speak cross talk well. If someone invests 100 million yuan, I will talk cross talk every day and do nothing.

7. The foot of my bed is shining so brightly. Is it frosty already? Looking up, I found it was moonlight. My name is Degang Guo.

8. Go your own way and say whatever you want.

9. Do they have a family style? If you don't pick things up in the aisle, you will lose them.

10. Many cross talks are made up, but this one is true.

1 1. I want to eat in a restaurant. Do you have any chicken? Attendant: Shh! I am!

12. My cross talk will be ruined by the Spring Festival Evening!

13. Thank God for giving me the opportunity to make hot pot.

14. A scientist with a way.

15. Yu Qian is a good man. No matter how you deal with people or do business on stage, tell the truth, bah! ..... no, just a bug in his mouth. ...

16. I was introduced to a girlfriend. It's beautiful. Her face looks like a car accident scene. -prose quoted from Degang Guo.

17. He is too rich to drive a 13 Cadillac. You can tell by the sound that it is a good machine, imported from Germany, "chug chug", triple jump? There is only one driver in the front row, and the steering wheel is different from others. It is usually round. He is made of pure silver, long and bent at both ends. Oh, three jumps. At first, half of Beijing was smoking black smoke, and the traffic police shouted at you, "Elder Sun, take away the divine power."

18. Do you have a two-foot lobster? Sorry, there is nothing two feet long, only two feet two. What stupid restaurant doesn't even have a two-foot lobster? Eat a plate of shredded potatoes.

19. He scolded me, I took a step back, he scolded me again, I took a step back, there was a wall behind me, and he still scolded me, hit ya! ! ~~

20. Yu Qian, what a corner kick! Say funny ... say nothing.

2 1. What do you care? Did I tell you? I can't do this with you! -Degang Guo's famous saying

22. What's your name? Don't say that. You call it a curse.

23. There are four plates on the table. Open the first one, ha! Very good! Old vinegar peanuts! Open the second one, even better! Old vinegar peanuts! Open the third one, peanuts, no vinegar! The fourth one looks like a plate of vinegar!

24. After taking part in the work, I can earn 300,000 yuan ... I looked at the drawings and built a 40-meter chimney, all of which were covered. People came to see it and beat me up, but the drawings were turned upside down and let me dig a well.

25. There is a frying pan under Cao Yin Bao Dian, and the children are holding steel forks to pick it up from the people who have just died. One person goes down, two people go down and fry together, and the fried fritters are squashed.

26. Everyone has a plasma TV, so I got one and asked my friend to save it. As big as a wall, Motorola brand … looks empty, and the TV rings: the TV you are watching is not in the service area … what's the point? This 300 yuan is not wasted.

27. Wild animals in the mountains are smoking, cattle and sheep on the land are fresh on the bottom of the sea, monkeys have bird's nest shark wings, and bear's paw has scallops and deer's tail tips! Throw away your cheeks and open your back teeth. Food is like the flowing water of the Yangtze River, like the wind and clouds, like dumping soil in a box. ...

28. Ignoring the law, I would have killed him!

29. I have been an artist for more than a week ~ ~ ~

30. Pancakes are eaten with steamed bread and rice.

two

1. Crosstalk is good! Promote truth, goodness and beauty, and musk is healthy.

2. Being able to speak eight foreign languages, such as English, Japanese, Korean, Yugoslav, North Slavic and West Slavic, is different from scolding Eight-Nation Alliance.

This matter is not far from now. If there are old people at home, you can go back and ask them-during the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period.

Rogues know martial arts and no one can stop them.

Which school did you graduate from? I'm from Tsinghua! Tsinghua pool? Well, tsinghua pool takes a bath! You said it belonged to Hufang Bridge!

Degang Guo: I'm going to eat in a restaurant. Do you have any chicken? Attendant: Shh! I am!

7. Smoking fake cigarettes, drinking fake wine, watching fake balls, listening to fake songs, wearing fake brand names and wearing fake hoods. Turtles are real in the world, also called turtles.

8. Born, eunuch later generations ~ ~

9. Will the moonlight in front of the window have frosted? I looked up and found it was moonlight. I'm Degang Guo!

10. You are a fat man sitting in a big round chair, and his meat is stuffed into the empty space of the chair, all of which are blocked. When he stopped, he was dragging the chair down.

1 1. Your * * * looks like my charm.

12. Nothing can stop his door, nothing can stop his lock, only the security lock of the bank. He can pry it open with celery.

13. Naoren, like pine nuts, is cooked in a bowl.

14. We fell in love with cross talk on TV. Why? Say it! The director arranged applause. On the stage, "Today", wow ~ ~, "We", wow ~ ~, "For everyone", wow ~ ~, "Say a picture", wow ~ ~, "Sound", wow ~ ~, "Bad speech", wow ~ ~, "Bad speech", wow ~ ~, applause. Cheerful: a word is a drum! -Degang Guo's famous saying

15.XXX was born when his father was ill. After returning to China, his mother is the hardest. Here is the husband and there are the children. We should take care of them. Feed the medicine here, feed the medicine there, feed the milk, feed the medicine. Feed medicine, breast-feed His father is too strong, and the child has taken the wrong medicine.

16.- This is a false tooth.-Throw it away. -Don't throw it away. It's too bad. -Why? -Tie a stick to it as a tickler.

17.- Wen Shun, what's that? -My mother brought eggs. -Give it to me. -No ... guess, guess how many. -I guess you gave me one. - ................................................................................................................................................................................

18.20 people, men and women, stood in front of the White House, and their bags were all ready ―― reporters! I have to be careful what I say. I don't want to be caught by them and embarrass China people. Next, the gang came over: "Master, would you like a plate?" Sell! What do you think the White House Cultural Bureau does for food?

19. It was very cold, so I sent you a coat. The post office said it was too heavy, so I hinged the buttons and put them in my pocket.

20. hey ~ ~! There was an opportunity to make money before me, but I didn't cherish it. The opportunity passed and I regretted it. If God gives me another chance, I want to say to the village chief: I am willing to go. If I have to put a limit on that salary, I hope it is: 400 yuan.

2 1.0 recommended Degang Guo: I took a good job as soon as I arrived and built a chimney of more than 70 meters! Yu Qian: Not bad! Degang Guo: Get up early and get the job done. People come to check and accept, but they won't give us money anyway! Yu Qian: Is the quality not good? Degang Guo: I started to turn the drawings upside down, and people asked me to repair the well!

22. Shouxing: Jade Emperor Jade Emperor! ~ something is wrong. Jade Emperor: What happened to the birthday girl? Shouxing: Do you have a hammer and nails? Let me help you. My sika deer bit the railing. Jade Emperor: Shouxing, what did I tell you? It doesn't matter if you ride that deer, you have to feed it! ~

23. Dead vines and old trees faint crows, small bridges and flowing water. The old road is thin, the sun is setting, and the heartbroken people are in the hospital.

24. The son steals the father, and the horse with thin hair and fat hoofs is not a thief. The blind uncle married the blind grandmother, and the old couple spent most of their lives without seeing anyone.

25. Have all these people donated money to God 7?

26. From today on, I will never eat lobster again!

27. Drink a glass or two of beer and four nuts. Wait a minute. .....

28. There are only two meters of steps in the Spring Festival Evening, but I am standing on the top of the 43rd floor of the conference. He was on the 43rd floor of a building, and I was taller than them!

29. The family has money and drives a 13 Cadillac. You can tell by the sound that it is a good machine, imported from Germany, "chug chug", oh, triple jump. At first, half of Beijing was smoking black smoke, and the traffic police shouted at you, "Elder Sun, take your magic."