Collect jokes or humorous jokes about geological engineering, preferably related to surveying and mapping. The more the better, the more urgent the better.

In fact, geological life can be very interesting.

I always think that Sheldon has a lot of physics jokes when I watch The Big Bang Theory, so let's talk about geology jokes!

The first one was posted on the study guide by a professor:

How many geologists can a Volkswagen hold?

A. four. Two in the front and two in the back.

B. With Tenuto, nine are inside and one is outside. Fix them with a big stone.

C. If they leave their boots, hammers and rock samples outside and take off their flannel shirts and hiking boots, 12 may be appropriate.

The joke of the geological engineer in Anonymous is a true story.

A few years ago, my brother had business dealings with several big American oil companies, and I heard them tell a joke.

It is said that a white woman in the company is a geological exploration engineer. Go to the US-Mexico border one at a time for a field trip. In this no-man's land, but see the desert Gobi, high mountains and valleys. It makes people feel heroic and magnificent.

The girl couldn't help taking off her clothes, even her bra and underwear. Ride a motorcycle and run wild, enjoying the unrestrained world.

After running for a while, I suddenly saw smoke billowing in the distance and a police car coming with warning lights on. The woman quickly jumped off the motorcycle, took out her clothes and hid in a big stone to get dressed.

When the police car approached, several policemen came out with a serious face. Politely speaking, this is a border area. Please show me your identification.

The police examined the documents and returned them to the lady. This female ninja asked 1. "You saw me just now, didn't you?"

The policeman smiled and said, "Sorry, we have been observing you with binoculars on the mountain for a long time." . . .

In the field practice of the university, international cooperation students went to Qinling Mountain for investigation. One day's practice topic is the measurement and statistics of linear structure and area structure, with five people as a group. Tao Ge and three other boys were assigned to the only American MM group with blond hair and blue eyes. Hyenas joined foreign sheep. Miss America was very careful and soon found a typical structure for everyone to observe. I asked her what she found, and the little girl said excitedly, "Typical cleavage." So the boys swarmed and shouted, "Let me see your cleavage." American girls are flushed and embarrassed.

It turns out that the geological term of the word cleavage means cleavage, but it also means cleavage in English! It seems that geologists have to learn foreign languages well:-)

A nouveau riche who started as a gelatin has been involved in the gold mining industry in recent years. Because he doesn't understand technology, he has been cheated repeatedly. Later, I heard that the value of gold mine depends on many aspects, and the grade of ore (that is, gold content) is one of the important indicators; So I contacted an analytical testing laboratory. A contract was signed to send ore samples to the laboratory. It spent more than 85 million yuan to buy a mine in a southern province, hoping to make a fortune for a large state-owned mining company by relying on government relations; I never thought that the test results of ore samples in its mines were extremely pessimistic. He was ashamed and angry, unable to vent; Call to blame the poor testing level of the laboratory and ask the laboratory to revise the test results. Of course, the laboratory can't compromise. The brother said angrily, "Well, isn't the average gold content of our samples 0.85g/t?" We sent so many samples, and you gave me the corresponding gold. "

The experimenter group was amazed. It's terrible to have no culture But this problem is really difficult to explain clearly to him. Analyzing gold content is not refining gold. They can't compensate for the gold. The nouveau riche also brought a group of gangsters to make trouble, and the laboratory leaders were miserable and could not cope. Xiao Min, deputy chief engineer of the laboratory, is a witty and beautiful senior geological engineer. He learned that the upstart's wife opened a private clinic. The plan came to mind.

The next day, Xiao Min came to the upstart wife's clinic with a mask. After consultation and examination, the nouveau riche's wife suspected that Xiao Min had a malignant gynecological disease and suggested a blood test. Xiao Min readily accepted. Three days later, Xiao Min angrily took his family to the clinic to find the nouveau riche's wife, saying that she didn't get any gynecological diseases in the provincial people's hospital, but had a bad cold. Xiao Min threatened to sue the upstart's wife for misdiagnosis and compensate for the loss. One of them is: "When taking blood tests, white blood cells, red blood cells, platelets and other tests are wrong, leading to misdiagnosis;" I demand that the white blood cells, red blood cells, lymphocytes, eosinophils and basophils tested in the laboratory be multiplied by the ninth power of 10 respectively ... "

One day, the nouveau riche came, holding the test sheet, and never making trouble again!