Why do I remind others in good faith, but others think this is my weakness and attack my weakness in turn? Good intentions are not rewarded, what should I say in the future?

Recently, Jimmy Lin's wife Chen Ruoyi made a public apology, and then her husband Jimmy Lin also made an apology. Their behavior quickly caused a heated discussion among netizens.

Chen Ruoyi:

It turns out that since August this year, the Roman government has sacrificed a new law to protect historical sites, that is, you can't sit, stay or eat in historical sites, and you can't bathe in fountains. Offenders can be fined up to 400 euros. I apologize for the bad demonstration of sitting down and taking pictures on the steps of the Spanish square yesterday. Please remember on your next trip.

You may ask, why should the two apologize? It turned out that after the two took photos at the Spanish Square in Rome, some netizens pointed out that sitting on the steps was illegal and might even face punishment, so they publicly apologized.

As for the friendly reminder from netizens, the two men were sincere in admitting their mistakes, and they also popularized some common sense about tourism. Everyone praised Chen Ruoyi for his good cultivation.

Relatively speaking, another female star, Gillian, was too perfunctory when dealing with the goodwill reminder of netizens, and even was abused by many netizens.

On the first day of school, we won't join in the fun, rain girl has no melon!

It turned out that some netizens broke out earlier that Gillian's husband was misbehaving and had an abnormal relationship with many online female celebrities, even with photos and videos as evidence. In fact, netizens may not mean to criticize, just want to remind them in good faith, but Gillian doesn't seem to buy it.

Why do two female artists face the reminder of netizens, one accepts it frankly and apologizes sincerely, but the other can't accept it, and even tries to justify it, so their attitudes are so different?

The reason is that we tend to have perceptual differences on other people's words, and in this process, perceptual errors caused by perceptual differences will make the results completely different.

First, perceived differences-a stumbling block on the road of communication

What is perceptual difference? It means that the same thing will look completely different in different people's eyes. For example, some people think that criticism is a kind reminder, while others think that criticism is blame.

So, what factors will lead to differences in people's perception?

1, different ways of obtaining information.

Generally speaking, we can only understand what we know within our cognitive range, and what is beyond our cognitive range seems to be beyond our understanding.

2. Physiological factors