Ask a joke about cigarettes.

A group of cigarette lovers got together to brag.

Smoker: I smoke a pack of cigarettes every week and I cough. Take a sip of cigarette and blow out a round smoke ring from your mouth.

Smoker: I smoke a pack of cigarettes every day, and I have vomited blood. Took a sip of cigarette and blew out a triangular smoke ring from his nose.

Cigarette addict: Smoking a cigarette every day leads to tuberculosis. Took a drag on the cigarette and blew out an Audi smoke ring from his ear.

Smoker: Smoking a box of cigarettes every day has emphysema. Take a sip of smoke and blow out a five-ring smoke ring from the back of your ass.

Smoke God: I smoke a car every day and get lung cancer. Take a sip of cigarettes and blow out a circle of Fuwa's smoke rings from the belly button.

Yan Sheng: I smoke a cigarette every day. One cigarette is a day. I have no lungs. I took a cigarette and blew out a line of Chinese characters from someone else's mouth: smoking is good for health.

Heavy smoker: You can't smoke every day. I'm already dead.

1: You can buy cigarettes at the convenience store at home. What's more, today's convenience stores are more dense than mushrooming. Don't worry about shortage. Meimei is different. The so-called search for her in the crowd makes people haggard for Iraq. And every now and then I have to suddenly look back to see if she is in the dim light. My neck aches. I still have to spend a few dollars on a trauma plaster. Let this neck-twisting action continue.

2. There are many kinds of cigarettes, so put them there uniformly. You can pick this up and throw it in your hand, then put it down and say to the boss, show me another one. Everything depends on you, even if you say it. And the store will never frown at you because you are picky. It must be a smile that makes you feel that you are in the spring of March. How magnificent! Come on! Girls are different. Want to step on both sides? The left face is still burning, and the right face is flattened neatly by another jade hand. All right, eat for a while, grow up and wear a skirt. Hey, don't be the boss. Even the pug in her hand is three points better than you at the moment. You have to smile at his old man's house carefully. Men without love, girls are naturally afraid. Be patient. If so, you can still grit your teeth and stick to it. Mei Mei is very happy. Went to her house. Her parents are policemen and you are thieves; Her brothers and sisters are Project Hope, and you are a voluntary donor. Her seventh and eighth aunts. Alas, there are too many. Let's give another example. I'm afraid it will really make your eyes turn white first and then green, just like the water in the Yellow River. Stop here.

3: You can buy several packs of cigarettes because you are happy. Girls can never find a few. Of course, you were born with a golden spoon in your mouth, which is another matter. Have you ever seen leeches? A beautiful girl can make you bleed excessively, walk on the road, be blown by the wind and stagger like a reed. Two girls? God, the greeting between men can be changed from now on to: "Hello, how much bone marrow is left today?"

4: You can put a cigarette with two wallets in your trouser pocket; Put another ten-dollar bag in your coat pocket. Of course, good things should be shared with others. A two-dollar cigarette is naturally smoked when I am alone. This is completely in line with social needs and economic model. Where are the girls? Do you have the ability to put one in your pocket and the other in your trouser pocket to let them know how much it is worth? Even if you do, will they have no complaints when you use them separately according to different occasions?

If you have a cigarette in your hand, you can throw it out at any time according to whether you are happy or not, and then throw it out. To tell the truth, watching it fall in a graceful and light arc and finally fall into the palm of your hand is refreshing, even more refreshing than drinking a cup of iced mung bean soup on a big day. The girl weighs more than this box of cigarettes. She finally picked her up with both hands, and before she could exert herself, her heart was so tired that she almost fell down. What is even more frightening is that the girl is becoming a piece of chewing gum bit by bit, sticky. Hey, want to dump her? Even if you are afraid, you should grab your hair and throw it into the air to see if you can break the law of gravity.

6. Open the cigarette case smartly. Crack, crack, spread the smoke around, and the two brothers smoked together, happy as a little fairy. Don't you dare, girl, will you? Even if you are a woman with the same clothes and a brother. Will that girl listen to you honestly like a cigarette and go wherever she is arranged? Cigarettes have no claws, but most girls' nails are slender and extremely sharp. Cover your face first. Anyway, the girl is honest and obedient. Will she burn happily like a cigarette? Suppose she's in high spirits, too But how do you divide a girl? Not just let the brothers beat their heads off?

7: When going to the toilet, in the most private time, have a cigarette in your mouth. It will make you feel Tao Tao, but you won't feel the smell. And at this time, can you bring a beautiful girl with you? If God opened her eyes, she would go with you willingly. Hey, can you solve the problem smoothly?

8: When you are in a bad mood, you can fold the cigarette in half or simply put it under your feet. Although it is scattered into mud, the fragrance remains the same. Is meimeiken? The best you can do is to put a cross in her photo, and then you have to carefully erase the lines. Otherwise, if she accidentally let her old man see it, it would not be as simple as breaking up. You have to go to court to compensate for the infringement of portrait rights. Haha joke

9: When your dream is in full swing, cigarettes won't pinch your nose, tickle you or pull your hair. Meimei will not only practice the above actions, but also scream suddenly in the dark night. Forget it, needless to say, how much is left, just another girl who makes your mouth water in your dream. She will disappear like a rabbit. Poor thing, you have to get up without losing your temper, hold that beautiful girl with a frightened face, and then sing that lullaby with your mouth flat like an old woman.

10: Hongtashan and Greater China can be put into a cigarette case at the same time, which is absolutely peaceful. If you put two girls under the same roof, you have to arrange someone outside the door to call 1 10 or 120 at any time.

1 1: When fighting with people, the heat burned on cigarette butts is no less than that of the legendary ancient magic soldiers. You can play cigarette butts as hard as Xiao Li's flying knife, and then throw them into others' arms without mercy and heartache. Can girls do it? Afraid of flying halfway, I'll reward you later.

12: Light a cigarette and you can enjoy loneliness quietly. But the girl's voice is like a fly buzzing around, it doesn't take you.

You won't stop until your ears are cocooned. Even if you surrender to her on all fours. She will also regard you as a mirror, wriggling around and muttering, "Mirror, mirror, who is more beautiful than me?" Haha joke

13: The girl laughed all over the city and then all over the country. The crown of wrath is a kind of beauty, which shows how harmful it is. You have never heard of the Trojan War caused by cigarettes, have you?

14: You can weigh cigarettes if you are interested. What is the arrangement of molecular structure? In a word, you can use all the tools in the world to make this cigarette clear. But girlish heart, can you? People who say "a woman's heart is a needle in the sea" want to come or not get enough of girls. After all, the seabed needle can still be found. You know, a girl's heart is amazing and has unpredictable opportunities. You never know what she is thinking now, let alone what she will ask next time, so you have to tremble and your legs are weak.

15: You can smoke and type while surfing the Internet. How cozy it is. But can you type and hug beautiful women? I'm afraid the keyboard would have broken into several pieces. It can be seen that girls can't solve the most urgent needs by surfing the Internet.

16: a buddy will put his hand in your pocket for a cigarette, but nine times out of ten he doesn't know how to put his ass. Cigarettes turn strangers into friends. And if you are not careful, girls will make friends become strangers. The bride is married, and the groom is not you. Looking at that buddy whose hair is so combed that several flies can twist their legs, I really don't know whether to cry or laugh. Haha joke

17: Pass the cigarette to the stranger out of courtesy; Give it to colleagues and let them handle the relationship well; Give it to the leader and tell him to be a man. If girls do the same thing, it's called ￥ #-* (save a few words). It can be seen that the practical efficiency of girls is not as great as that of cigarettes.

18: You can always find some cigarettes in the drawer corner of the bedside table. That kind of sore throat, if it rains, will make you smile unconsciously. But when you miss girls the most, most of them are gone. Even if you remove the bed, lift the wardrobe and open every drawer, it's hard to find them. I had to look at those photos in a daze.

19: As long as you pay a little attention, cigarettes are definitely worth a penny. Beauty is different, even if you rack your brains, you are not sure that every penny you pay will be profitable. You may have paid for pork and only brought back a piece of tofu, but in any case, you have achieved something, which the Bodhisattva should be grateful for. Want to cry without tears, draw water with a sieve. Looking at the back of her departure, you stand alone on the desolate street and sing "Why do I always get hurt?" .

20: cigarettes can be stuffed into any pocket at will. It will never stop you from doing other things. It knows how to show up when you need it most. But the girl always wanted to hang it on your hand, and she didn't make you spit, which means that this girl hasn't cultivated home yet. Haha joke

2 1: The older the brand, the more fragrant the cigarette. An old girl can't say that she is a dinosaur, but she is afraid that she is just a piece of tasteless chewing gum. (Ha ha, not including those women who live younger and younger. But that's an example. According to the principle of probability, it is almost negligible. )

22: A cigarette only needs a lighter at most. To accompany a beautiful girl, you should not only warm her heart with fire, but also prepare the following things-a handkerchief, two bottles of soda, three roses and four candles. ...

Five students are addicted to smoking. One day, they were smoking in the toilet and the dean saw them. The dean told his class teacher that the class teacher talked with five of them the next day.

Teacher: "Do you smoke?"

Student A: "Suck ..."

Teacher: "Suck? You are glorious! Go home and call your parents! ! "

I was beaten and recorded.

When student A went back, he said to the other four people, "The teacher asked you not to admit smoking, but to say no". I will take responsibility for myself. "

After a while.

Teacher: "Do you smoke?"

Student B: "No."

"French fries, then." Then the teacher handed over the French fries.

Student B naturally stretched out two fingers. ...

Teacher: "Don't smoke? Go home and call your parents! " ……

Teacher: "Do you smoke?"

Student C: "No."

"French fries, then."

Student c carefully took the French fries and secretly thanked student b (fortunately, I came prepared) ...

Teacher: "Don't you want some ketchup?"

Student C accidentally dipped too much sauce and began to play in the bowl. ...

Teacher: "Don't smoke? You are very good at playing ash ... call your parents! " ......

Teacher: "Do you smoke?"

Student D: "Don't … suck …" …

(Student D is sweating like a pig after eating French fries. )

Student D: "Thank you ... teacher ... I'll go back first if it's okay."

Teacher: "Don't you bring roots to your classmates?"

Student D: "Thank you, teacher."

Put French fries on your ear ... old.

Teacher: "You know what I should say, don't you call your parents?"? ! "

Teacher: "Do you smoke?" Student E: "No" ......

I finally put the French fries in my pocket ...

Student E turned to go, and the teacher suddenly shouted, "The headmaster is coming!" "

Student E hurriedly took out French fries from his pocket and put them on the ground. ...