Shuxiang Festival jokes

1. Going to a restaurant for dinner, a buddy went to the toilet on the way. When he came back, he told us mysteriously, "The business in this hotel is so good that there are even two tables in the toilet!"

while everyone was wondering, a group of people rushed over and picked up the buddy and were about to fight. Of course, we quit and asked them: He didn't provoke you. Why did you hit him?

"why hit him? We had a good meal, but this guy went to our private room to pee and left. "

2. The origin of mad cow disease

A female reporter asked the farmer about the origin of mad cow disease. The farmer said that I have to milk ten times a day, but Niu Yi can only mate once a year. The reporter is puzzled; The owner said loudly: rub your breasts every day and make love once a year. Can you not be crazy?

3, Jesus and Sakyamuni guess boxing

Jesus and Sakyamuni guess boxing, and when they lose, let the other side bounce their heads. As a result, Jesus always wins, and Sakyamuni gets bounced all over his head.

Finally, Sakyamuni won once. When Jesus saw that he lost, he said, "Wait for me for a while, and then you can play me when I get back."

As a result, Jesus never came back, so for thousands of years, one hand of Sakyamuni has kept the posture of preparing to play Jesus' head ...

4. Earthworms fell in love with maggots and invited leeches to propose marriage.

When the leech came back, she told the earthworm, "When a girl grows up, she has to fly. How can she look down on you, an old country hat who eats mud every day? You are still dead! "

The earthworm was annoyed and scolded, "She looks down on me for eating mud. She eats shit every day!"

5. Once upon a time, there was a landlord who married his wife and gave birth to a child almost at the same time as one of his long-term workers. In order to show that their children are different, they are named "face" and "long-term children are called" ass ". One day, while playing with his ass, he accidentally fell into a well and drowned. The landlord was so sad that he burst into tears. At this time, the long-term worker came over and said, "Sir, don't be sad. If you don't dislike it, I'll use my ass as your face." "

6. Xiao Liu saw an old lady selling new dates. The new dates looked fresh and watery. Xiao Liu planned to buy some. He asked the old lady selling dates," How much is this new date per catty? " The old lady said, "Eight yuan a catty." Xiao Liu was surprised: "This new jujube is only sold for five yuan a catty after it is dried. Besides, how many kilograms of new jujube does it take to dry a catty of dried jujube! Is your price too outrageous? " The old lady selling dates said, "Do you think the shriveled old lady is valuable, or the watery girl is valuable?