joke book

1. One day the crab went out and accidentally knocked down the loach.

The loach said angrily, "Are you blind?"

The crab said, "No, I'm a crab."

2. Once upon a time, there were a pair of good friends.

One is called Hee Hee and the other is called Haha.

Later, haha

Hee hee knelt on the ground and said, "Haha, why did you leave?"

The temperature outside is only 7 degrees, and my arm is 38 degrees. I suggest you play with the big pendulum, because it is 360 degrees.

4. Doraemon has no neck for health reasons, because the blue neck is muddy.

5. A young man watched grandpa play chess.

Boy: Grandpa, your car is missing.

Grandpa: Without culture, this is called car (residence).

Boy: Grandpa, your bike was stolen.

6. I was told that nothing is more complicated than love. I threw a math book in his face.

7. Mom said that you can't make irresponsible friends, so all my friends are stupid.

I insist on doing sit-ups every day, one at night and one in the morning.

9. "Which star do you hate the most?"

"Andy Lau."

"Why?"

"My name is Liu Hua, and others say I am wicked."

10. The child asked his mother: Why can't the flame of the candle stop? Mom said: Because it is a small spiritual fire.

1 1. The doctor went to the operating table and said, Come on, Li Ming, don't be afraid!

Patient: I am not Li Ming! !

Doctor: I'm Li Ming! ! !

12. Once upon a time, there were a pair of good friends, one named Ye Ye and the other named Ni. One day, Ye Ye lost his memory and asked who Mud was. Mud said: I am Mud, I am Mud!

13. The night before school started, the electricity consumption in China soared.

14. I still hate you, just like my neighbor ate Chili and got numb next door.

15. A boy asked a girl: What kind of boy do you like?

The girl said: hit it off.

The boy listened and asked: What kind of boy do you like?

The girl said angrily: hit it off!

The boy said: then you say, can you have a flat head?

16. A curry pork chop rice, no curry, no pig, no rice, climb for me.

17. My friend bought a chameleon. The hands are flesh-colored and the head is green.

18. Do you want to get rich overnight? Do you want to be worth more than 100 million? Do you need food and clothing? Do you want to live carefree? Why don't you stay with me and we'll think together.

19. The little girl selling nuclear bombs didn't sell a nuclear bomb all night. She was cold enough to ignite a nuclear bomb, and the whole town met her grandmother.

20. When I was in junior high school, the math teacher said to one of my sleepy classmates: You came to class, not to sleep.

My classmate replied decisively: You are here to teach, not to hypnotize.

teacher ......

2 1. I am your little train, and I will never cheat.

I am your mermaid, and I will never cheat.

No one knows whether mermaids use ()

I love you. Love is restrained. I don't care about you. Miss you.