Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - "Dalang, it's time to take medicine." When Wu Zhi woke up, he suddenly found a charming man in front of him.

"Dalang, it's time to take medicine." When Wu Zhi woke up, he suddenly found a charming man in front of him.

Chapter 65438 +0 Dalang, it's time to take medicine.

"Dalang, it's time to take medicine."

Vaguely, Wu Zhi heard a gentle and lovely call.

Trying to open his eyelids as if they were stuck on the iron sheet, Wu Zhi saw a beautiful woman in ancient costume walking slowly with a steaming clay bowl.

She is slender, and every step she takes is like a water snake, with her waist swaying gently from side to side.

Her oval face is flawless, and her delicate face is flushed. Under those water-cut eyes, she also ordered a beauty mole with upturned eyebrows and hooked eyes.

Fingers are like jade onions, holding soup and medicine close to each other.

With the body slightly bent, the neckline of the clothes lowered, and two big, white and round things loomed in front of Wu Zhi.

"Come on, Dalang, take your medicine."

Between two thin lips, there is a fragrance and an intoxicating smell.

When Wu subconsciously wanted to open his mouth, his body suddenly gave him a good meal!

Why am I lying in bed?

Who is this beautiful woman in ancient costume?

Wu Zhi only has a junior high school diploma. He studied martial arts in Shaolin Temple when he was a child. 15 years old, started to enter the society from washing dishes in restaurants. He moved bricks on construction sites, sang in the streets, participated in group performances in Hengdian and worked as a security guard in clubs.

After working hard for more than ten years, I will soon realize my great ambition of "running big, living in a mansion, and my wife and lover sleeping in rows".

As a result, he died on the wine table with a bang at the banquet where the company successfully went public.

"psst!"

Wu Zhi Xiao Ji suddenly felt a headache.

"Dalang, what's wrong with you?"

Her voice is soft and warm, and it sounds like someone is singing softly beside her, which is very comfortable.

But what Wu Zhi cares about is what she calls herself: "Beauty, what did you just call me?"

"Big lang, don't you know I? Nujia is Jinlian. "

Wu Zhi machine blinked, and after a pause, swallowed saliva.

I suddenly realized that I had traveled through ancient times!

Don't!

Jinlian?

Da Lang?

"You, your name is Jinlian, Pan Jinlian?"

"So, I am, I am Wu Dalang?"

The beauty in ancient costume handed the pottery bowl in her hand to Wu Zhi's mouth: "Dalang, you may be asleep. Take the medicine first. After taking the medicine, your body will be fine. "

Wu Zhi was shocked! If she is Pan Jinlian, the bowl handed to her mouth is poison!

"I don't eat!"

Wu Zhi Xiao Ji hurriedly shut up and put his head away!

"Dalang, this medicine is bitter, but you will get better after taking it." Pan Jinlian is persuading him.

"Dalang, eat quickly!"

Pan Jinlian kept putting the medicine together. Wu Zhi suddenly raised his hand in a rage and knocked it over directly!

"Ping!"

The soup fell and spilled all over the floor.

"Dalang, this bowl of soup was bought with 500 pence, which is enough for our family to eat for three days."

Pan Jinlian squatted on the ground, two curved arch eyebrows tightly knit together, tangled and distressed.

Wu Zhi pointed to the door and growled at Pan Jinlian: "Get out! Get out! "

Can the medicine given by Pan Jinlian be eaten? !

She is the first prostitute in the world!

Pan Jinlian's eyes are moist and radiant with crystal.

Her seductive tan mouth gently opened, and she said angrily, "Dalang, you ... you rest first, and I'll get you some medicine when your anger subsides."

Watching Pan Jinlian walk out of the room in a graceful manner, Wu Zhi sighed and sat up from the bed, clutching his forehead.

It turns out that I look strange, and my hands and feet are very short!

This is not his original body at all!

Until this moment, Wu Zhicai believed that he had really traveled to ancient times.

If you can die, why become Wu Dalang! ?

Jesus Christ, do you want to kill Lao Tzu?

Wu Zhi scolded God and greeted the ancestors of the other family, the women of the 18th generation, before getting out of bed slowly.

The environment in which he lives seems crude and shabby.

A square table, a bed and two doors creaked.

The square table is next to it. It looks like a woman's dresser.

There is a bronze mirror on it. When Wu Zhi leaned his face carefully, a blurred face appeared in the mirror.

The clarity of the bronze mirror is not high, and it is a bit blurred.

But through the overall outline, Wu Zhi found that this face is the same as her previous life.

Very young!

A little handsome!

But why does the body become like this? The whole body looks less than 1.5 meters! He used to be a man of 1.8 meters!

No, we must try to grow taller!

Just as Wu Zhi was having a headache, he heard a slight sound downstairs.

Wu Zhi tiptoed out of the door and quietly saw Pan Jinlian talking to an old woman downstairs.

"Baby, everything is ready over there. What about you? "

"I'm almost done. I can finish it at about four o'clock tomorrow morning."

Wu Zhi is creepy!

Pan Jinlian, a poisonous woman, really won't stop!

She's going to kill herself!

"Then you have to hurry, but the big officials can't wait."

"Well, I know."

Big guy?

Are you talking about Ximen Qing? ?

Ximen Qing, you son of a bitch! Sure enough, I have been dating Pan Jinlian!

Wu Zhi's teeth itch upstairs. Although he has just crossed to this place, he has not fully accepted Wu Dalang's identity.

What I can feel is Pan Jinlian's insidious poison!

When the old woman left, Pan Jinlian rolled up her delicate lotus arm. She went to the nearby kitchen and began to knead the dough.

That slender arm rubbed his face hard, and sweat slipped from his delicate cheek.

If it is any woman, Wu Zhi will feel pity when he sees it, hold it in his arms and take care of it carefully.

But she is Pan Jinlian, who knows if her face will be arsenic! ?

Wu Zhi machine slowly returned to the room. He opened Pan Jinlian's dresser.

There is only one solitary hairpin in the drawer, and the rest are used for sewing, scissors and other small things.

Wu Zhi grabbed scissors and sat on the bed board waiting for Pan Jinlian to come up!

He's going to have a big fight with this vicious woman!

Anyway, he is Wu Dalang, and his younger brother Song Wu is coming soon!

At that time, the brothers will join hands to kill the adulterer, and then go up the mountain and become an outlaw as a robber, recruiting and fighting for the world!

People live all their lives and plants grow in autumn!

Since the thief god let him come into this world, let's do it vigorously!

Maybe we can get an emperor!

Then there will be three thousand harem beauties, hehe!

"Ah ..."

Wu Zhi machine played a long yawn. He sat in bed for a long time, but Pan Jinlian didn't come up.

"Dong! Knock on the door. Knock on the door. Hey! "

"The weather is dry, be careful with candles!"

Outside the window, there was the sound of hitting people.

Look, it's already the fourth watch.

Wu Zhi worked as an extra actor in Hengdian and knew a little about ancient knowledge. It was 4 o'clock, that is, after 2 o'clock in the morning.

"hey!"

Wu Zhi Xiao Ji suddenly heard the sound of opening the door downstairs.

He quickly slapped himself! The sleepy people went to most of them!

He knew Pan Jinlian should start work!

Chapter 2 Pan Jinlian or Fish

Strangely, Pan Jinlian didn't go upstairs.

Wu Zhi found through the window that Pan Jinlian's slim body was struggling to jump with a burden and slowly walked out of the alley on the side of the house.

"Where is this prostitute going?"

Wu Zhi suddenly realized: "By the way, she can't poison me, and she has to ask that Ximen Qing for help!"

Thought of here, Wu Zhi small machine immediately went downstairs. He threw the scissors aside, rushed into the kitchen, grabbed a kitchen knife and followed.

Wu Zhi clung to the wall and followed carefully. Before long, she saw Pan Jinlian put the burden on the back door of a family. She wiped her smooth forehead with a handkerchief.

In the dim light of lanterns, delicate face looks a little pale.

She reached out and knocked at the door.

Soon, the door opened and it was the old woman before.

When she saw Pan Jinlian, she was a little surprised: "Why are you alone?"

Pan Jinlian hurried and gasped slightly: "He has a cold and is lying in bed. In a few days, these cakes will be delivered by me. "

"Oh, oh, oh, I don't know what merits Wu Dalang, who has a golden tongue, has made in his last life, but there is a lady like you!"

"Well, well, you must have worked like this all night, so hurry back and have a rest."

The old woman took out a small string of copper coins from her pocket and put them on Pan Jinlian's hand, which was too hard and trembled slightly.

"Mom Zhang, you gave more money." Pan Jinlian quickly returned the extra money to the old woman.

"There are only a few coppers left, and there is not enough money to buy a white-flour steamed bread. Let's go quickly and go back to rest. "

Mother Zhang was holding the lantern light in her hand and suddenly said in surprise, "Hey, why do you still keep the palace sand?"

"Unless you two haven't consummated your marriage?"

At the mention of this matter, Pan Jinlian's slightly white face turned slightly red, and his eyes flashed a trace of shame.

"Let my mother joke. We just moved here from Qinghe County shortly after we got married. Isn't my family still in good health? "

Mother Zhang said with a smile, "In that case, go back and look after Sancunding quickly." . Get married early, you don't know, things between men and women, that taste wonderful. "

Pan Jinlian, the daughter of the yellow flower, didn't hear the words of the tiger and the wolf. She thanked Zhang's mother shyly and turned home with the burden.

Wu Zhi hid in a dark corner and followed.

Overhead, the bright moonlight fell on Pan Jinlian's slim body, just like putting on a pure white dress for her.

At this moment, Wu Zhi was moved.

I didn't think Pan Jinlian was a good friend!

Suddenly, he had an idea.

Pan Jinlian is also a very ordinary woman. She is pure and kind.

Why would such a nice woman cheat?

Wu Dalang must have been a waste before, and she didn't know how to make out, so she sent such a nice lady to someone else's bed for nothing.

Looking at her beautiful body, Wu Zhi secretly vowed to protect Pan Jinlian for life and never let anyone take it away!

Wu Zhi's house is three small two-story houses with yards in front and back. Pan Jinlian returned home and began to work before he had time to rest.

At this time, the sky in the distance is a fish-belly white.

Pan Jinlian does housework skillfully. When finished, he rolled up his sleeves and began to knead the dough.

When she poured water into the flour, she suddenly found a man standing behind her. She was startled.

Looking intently, it turned out to be Wu Zhi. I can't help but breathe a sigh of relief and patted my chest.

This is summer, and my clothes are very thin, and because of sweating, my clothes are particularly close to my body.

Pan Jinlian's shot made the mountains on his chest rise and fall and the blue waves rippled.

Wu Zhi's eyes are straight!

"Dalang, why did you go downstairs?"

Wu Zhi swallowed, then grabbed Pan Jinlian's hand and dragged her upstairs.

"Dalang, what are you doing?"

Wu Zhi said sternly, "Go to sleep, and leave the work downstairs to me."

Pan Jinlian shook his head slightly and smiled at Wu Zhi: "Dalang, I'm not tired. You are still cold. When the pharmacy opens, I go to buy medicine. "

Wu Zhi said with a straight face, "What a waste! I am your man. I'll let you sleep! "

Pan Jinlian was shocked. It was the first time she saw Wu Dalang Jr. posing as such a man in charge. Who doesn't know that Wu Dalang is a timid person on weekdays?

"Then, I will rest for an hour, and you can call me at dawn."

"Oh, go ahead."

Wu Zhi put his hand on Pan Jinlian's slender waist, gently pushed her into the room and closed the door.

Wu Zhi clutched the door panel and looked at his hand. His mouth turned up slightly involuntarily: "It's so soft!"

"It's big and become warped. It must be beautiful to sleep at night. "

Hey hey!

Chapter 3 boy lock

Somehow, Pan Jinlian slept soundly until dawn.

When she woke up, she smelled a particularly attractive fragrance.

Down the stairs along the scent, I saw a small cake on the table, but it was embedded with green chopped green onion, and there was a bowl of egg drop soup on the side.

"Dalang, what kind of cake is this?"

Pan Jinlian has never seen such a fragrant and oily cake.

"It's called grabbing a thousand layers of cake. It's your onion breakfast."

"You eat first, and I'll sell cakes at the door."

When Pan Jinlian heard that Wu Zhi was going to sell cakes at the door, he couldn't help saying, "This neighbor doesn't have much money. How many cakes can he sell at his door? "

Wu Zhi smiled confidently: "Look, your man and I can sell out these dozens of cakes in less than half an hour!" "

Pan Jinlian didn't believe it, but she painted her man's face badly. Wu Zhi went out of the back room and went to the front hall. He grabbed the cake with his hand and tore it a little. She found that after brushing one layer after another, a thick onion fragrance came to the nose. ...

Half an hour later.

"Ah-"

Wu Zhi yawned and began to close the stall.

The house he and Pan Jinlian are renting now is on the street.

Although it is not crowded, there are still many people coming and going.

When Wu Zhi tore open this onion-flavored hand-grabbed cake, it attracted most passers-by.

"Crowd effect" together, without a few efforts, Wu Zhi really sold out a laundry list of cakes.

Melaleuca Hand-grabbed Cake is original in this era, and it is simply top-notch for people who have never eaten it.

Wu Zhi left himself the last piece of cake. When he was ready to pick it up and eat it and go back to his home, he felt a breeze blowing from his face.

In the blink of an eye, a hand suddenly reached out and walked past with the last piece of cake.

"Ah, ah, the old monk, I don't sell this cake! I will eat it myself. "

I don't know when an old Taoist priest with a kind face stood before my eyes.

"Kid, you just smelled the aroma five miles away from the original, but you were delayed on the way. This last piece was left when you came. Please pity the old Taoist priest and sell it to be original. "

The old man has an extraordinary speech and smells like fairy.

Wu Zhi knew at a glance that he was not an ordinary person and wondered if he could take advantage of him.

In the blink of an eye, Wu Zhi small machine said with a wry smile, "that can't do. I have no extra flour at home now. "

"I have been working alone with an empty stomach for three hours. Please be kind enough to let me eat before I work. "

The old Taoist priest stared at Wu Zhi and said, "Little friend, how about giving this cake to the poor, and the poor will help you realize a wish?"

It's done!

Wu Zhi snapped his fingers in his mind.

He pointed at his body with a bitter face: "Taoist, look at my short stature." Everywhere I go, I am the laughing stock of others. Can Taoist priests make me grow taller? "

The old Taoist laughed: "This is simple!"

Wu Zhi paused for a moment, he just said, I didn't think the old road really has a way!

"You are a congenital boy lock. As long as you unlock this lock, you will grow into a big man of eight or nine feet! "

"Inner divine power, strong bones, unexpected blessings!"

As he spoke, the old monk's hand suddenly patted Wu Zhi's chest.

At this moment, all the bones in Wu Zhi's body made a "scratching" sound!

The intense pain made Wu Zhi cry out even in an instant, suddenly sweating and turning pale!

But the pain soon passed.

It seems that Wu Zhi was fished out of the water. Panting, he said to the old Taoist priest in front of him, "What an early death! Taoist, your palm almost killed me. "

"Your children are very interesting, you and I decree by destiny. I'll give you another object. "

The old Taoist took out a picture scroll from his arms and threw it to Wu Zhi.

When Wu Zhi opened it, it turned out to be an internal skill book called Jiuyang!

"There is heroism in my brow, my eyes are deep and my future is limitless."

"However, if you set foot in Xing Cai and open peach blossoms, you will be entangled in women in the future."

"I give you this special gift, so that you can clean up the inner court in the future, and your wife and concubine will be harmonious and happy."

Voice down, the old monk rolled a breeze, blink of an eye disappeared in the eyes of Wu Zhi.

Wu Zhi was startled, but he didn't expect to actually meet a fairy. He quickly shouted into the air: "Dare to ask your name?"

"Xiaoyou, if you want to see being original again, come to Erxian Mountain later."

Ear echoed with the voice of the old Taoist priest, Wu Zhi machine broke out in a cold sweat!

It turns out that this old Taoist priest turned out to be the general of Liangshan 108, ranking third, Gongsun Sheng's master Luo Zhenren!

In Song Dynasty, there were two old immortals, besides Zhang Tianshi in Longhu Mountain and Luo Zhenren in the second fairy mountain!

Wu Zhi likes reading those martial arts novels and Four Great Classical Novels since he was a child, otherwise he would not have studied in Shaolin Temple.

Although he comes from a poor family, he is rich. Now, it can be said that Luo Zhenren's method is even worse!

After being slapped by Luo Zhenren, Wu Zhi's small machine obviously felt that he was scattered by endless power.

Now I feel the bones itch, and I always want to jump in place to make the bones loose faster!

He knows this is a sign of his height!

Wu Zhi suddenly felt that his steps were light. He turned around in high spirits and saw Pan Jinlian's figure swaying like a water snake.

"Dalang, is this cake really sold out?"

Wu Zhi smiled and threw the laundry basket into his yard. He said to Pan Jinlian, "Come on, let's go out and do some shopping."

Pan Jinlian was startled: "Dalang, are you willing to let the Nu family go out?"