Ask a few jokes suitable for girls.

1. A man was starving in the desert when he found the magic lamp.

Magic lamp: "I can only realize your one wish." Hurry up, I'm in a hurry. "

Man: "I want a wife ..."

The magic lamp immediately conjured up a beautiful woman, and then said disdainfully, "I'm starving, greedy for beauty!" " Pathetic! "Then he disappeared.

Man: "... cake."

The earthworm family was bored this day, so the little earthworm cut himself in two and went to play badminton.

Mother earthworm thinks this method is good, so she cuts herself into four sections and plays mahjong.

Father earthworm thought about it and cut himself into minced meat.

Mother earthworm cried and said, "why are you so stupid?" You will die if you cut so hard! "

Father earthworm said weakly ... I suddenly want to play football. "

3. The panda is stronger than the panda mother, and the panda mother fought hard and fought to the death.

After the failure, Panda Man said angrily, "We are all going extinct!" "

One day, the animals smelled an unpleasant smell in front of Guan Gong Temple.

The snake said, "I am too young to fart so smelly." It must be a cow. 」

The cow said, "I eat grass, and I won't fart so smelly." 」

The pig said, "people who fart will blush." 」

Suddenly, Guan Gong rushed out, knocked the pig away, and said, "How many times have I told you, I was born blushing. 」

5. One day, a man met God. ..

God suddenly kindly gave the man a wish. ....

God asked ...

Do you have any wishes? ...

The man thought about it. ...

I heard that cats have nine lives. ...

Then please give me nine lives. ..

God said, ..

Your wish has come true. ....

One day, the man was idle and bored. ...

If you want to say death, forget it. ...

There are nine lives anyway

Lying on the tracks. ....

As a result, a train passed by. ....

That man is still dead. ...

Why is this?

Because that train has 10 cars. ...

6. One day, three people came to the funeral home. Strangely, their smiles after death are all ...

Confused, the funeral home manager asked the police: Why do people's faces look like this after death?

The policeman said: it's ... it's a long story ... look at the man on the left ... he and his wife were in the most passionate moment on a spring night ... he couldn't stand it ... and then hung up.

The administrator replied: Alas ... I wish I could die under the flower ... It's romantic to be a ghost ... How did the middle one die?

Policeman: The man in the middle ... is really a human tragedy ... He is walking on the road ... Suddenly, he heard that he won the first prize ... and the prize money exceeded 700 million yuan. ..

When he was laughing happily ... he was hit by an oncoming car ... and died. ...

The administrator replied: alas ... he really didn't have enough luck to enjoy the rest of his life ... what about the rest?

Policeman: ... it's a pity that this one died ... he was killed by lightning while climbing a tree.

The administrator replied: ... this is a bit wrong. Why do you laugh when you are struck by lightning? ...

The policeman said, because he climbed the tree and thought ... suddenly there was a flash of lightning. .....

He thought that someone was taking pictures of him. .....

It is said that thousands of years ago, both male and female dogs were squatting when urinating.

It was not until the Tang Dynasty that the situation changed. ...

Everyone has heard of Emperor Taizong! His old man keeps a pair of Beijing dogs. On one occasion, Emperor Taizong went to Huashan to worship heaven and brought this pair to. ...

Halfway through the sacrifice, the bitch suddenly felt anxious and ran behind a tree to solve it.

This is a very disrespectful act when offering sacrifices to heaven, which angered the jade emperor.

The Jade Emperor ordered Lei Gong to hit a thunder, and the thunder hit the tree just right. The tree fell and killed the bitch. The male dog was very scared when he saw it. ...

From then on, every time the male dog urinates under the tree, he will put out a foot and push it hard against the tree.

In case the tree falls by itself. ...

8. Can I have two photos of you 1 inch? (Be sure to take very clear photos) as a permanent memorial. I'm going to put it on my socks so that others will know it's crocodile.

I told you because she told me not to tell you. Now I'm telling you not to tell her. I tell you, if she asks you, did I tell you that I didn't tell you that she said you were a pig? I quit.

10, Bajie went to Korea for plastic surgery and became a handsome boy. Go to the ballroom to find beautiful women. After the passion, Bajie asked the beauty, Do you know how ugly I used to be? I am Pig Bajie. The beauty is frightened: second brother, I am Lao Sha!

1 1, the farmer picked the excrement, and a person saw it. He asked, Grandpa, how much is this sauce a catty? The farmer didn't say a word, and the man put a little in his mouth with his hand, thinking, I won't tell you how much it is a catty unless you tell me!

12, a person riding a motorcycle is used to wearing a coat backwards. He died in a traffic accident. When I arrived, I saw an old man next to me and asked him how he was doing. The old man said, when I saw him, he was still breathing. I saw his head screwed back, so I screwed his head back and he died.

13, I saw you the other day, in the supermarket. You quietly put your hand on the barcode scanner, and the screen shows: pig's trotters 8 yuan. You thought the machine was broken, so you leaned over to see it. The screen showed: 5 yuan, pig head.

14, one day you stood on the bus platform and laughed, causing passers-by to look at you like a rare animal. One of them asked you why you giggled. You fought back your laughter and said proudly, I fooled the ticket buyer and didn't get on the bus.

15, one day you squatted on the side of the road and looked at a pile of poop carefully. Smell it. Is it poop? You dig with your hands. It looks like poop. You put it in your mouth and taste it: it's really poop! You are so happy:: It's a good thing you didn't step on it!

16, a young woman was swimming naked in a secluded pool in the mountains, and a frog strayed into its hole. She felt very comfortable and decided to stay for a long time. A few days later, the woman felt unwell and went to the doctor. The doctor took out a frog corpse and a suicide note from the woman's lower body. The suicide note says: If you get hit with a stick every day, you might as well die.

17, a school teacher is quite evil, designed by students. One day in class, a boy looked miserable and groaned gently. The teacher ignored it and went on with the lecture. When the teacher turned to write on the blackboard, she heard a "ouch ... wow" coming from behind. The boy secretly poured a can of eight-treasure porridge on the table at the same table. The teacher looked back and saw that the desktop in this life was full of yellow and white things, which was filthy. At this time, another boy picked up a small spoon, scooped it up and ate it, saying, "Wow, this guy eats peanuts at noon!" " "The teacher a look, crazy vomit.