Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - "Country Son" Tang Xuanzong Chen Li How could a fool's uncle be forced to become a monk and legally ascend the throne?

"Country Son" Tang Xuanzong Chen Li How could a fool's uncle be forced to become a monk and legally ascend the throne?

Coming and going in confusion

That year, on the streets of Danyang, a girl named Zheng and an alchemist met by chance. Unknown soothsayers saw in the young girls their unusual destiny: Zheng would become the mother of an emperor. Although the girl named Zheng later became a mother, these prophecies were absurd dramas until they came true. Some people shake their heads and laugh, and some people have a psychological reaction after hearing it. Li Zhenhai belongs to the latter, and he decided to regard this completely unreliable prediction as a long-term investment. When the bull market comes, he gains the whole world.

The prerequisite for Li to realize his ideal is to accept Zheng as his concubine. If the prophecy comes true, he will become emperor. But God seemed to be playing a joke on him. In the years that Zheng committed himself to him, he gave birth to not a single human being.

In the second year of the Yuan Dynasty, Li took the risk to stand on his own. However, before the arrival of the imperial army, Li's power collapsed. Zheng was trapped in Yiting Palace, where he paid homage to the emperor and expressed his loyalty. Soon, Emperor Chen Li's thirteenth son was born. Sometimes predictions are just one step away from reality.

When Chen Li was a child who knew nothing about the world, Tang Xianzong met her inexplicably during the changes in Yuanhe Palace. Zheng's mother and son fell into poverty and loneliness overnight in the court, without any support. After Zheng entered the palace, she worked as a maid next to her mother Guo. In other words, they had a master-servant relationship at the beginning. Later, Zheng's mother valued her son, and the relationship between the two women became subtle and tense. However, Guo would not allow a maid to be equal to him. Therefore, after the Yuanhe Palace Incident, Guo's son succeeded to the throne, and the situation of Zheng mother and son became very difficult. As a child, Chen Li became the target of teasing and bullying during her years on "The House of Sixteen Kings."

Chen Li has been clumsy since she was a child. He seems a bit slow compared to his peers. As he grew older, he became more taciturn and indifferent to both good and bad things. Such people are really far away from the emperor's throne. Of course, Chen Li, who is far away from the dragon throne, will naturally be protected in the power struggle.

After the deaths of Mu Zong and Jing Zong, Mu Zong's other son was taken to the Daming Palace by the Sixteenth Family and became the new emperor, Wenzong. At a banquet, Emperor Wenzong noticed Chen Li sitting quietly in the middle of a noisy family without saying a word. So Wen Zongfei forced Chen Li to tell a joke. Because Chen Li was named King Guang by Mu Zong, all the nephews here called him "Uncle Guang", which was obviously disrespectful. However, no matter how he was teased, beaten, or teased, Chen Li stood still and accepted it calmly. In this way, as time went by, people in the palace really regarded him as a heartless person. Chen Li also enjoys being a fool, because common sense tells people that fools have no ambitions and will not pose a threat to other people's status and interests, so others will not take fools to heart.

As for pretending to be the emperor, it was not Xuanzong's original intention and it was a mistake. Fool's time is just a "smoke screen". The purpose of his play is to confuse others and protect himself.

In 1981, Tang Wuzong ascended the throne. Tang Wuzong was keenly aware that his uncle Chen Li was a potential threat. Therefore, King Chen Li of Wang Guang often had some "unexpected situations": either he suddenly fell when he attacked the emperor today, or he suddenly slipped when he entered the palace tomorrow. Various disasters seemed to suddenly befall the King of Light, catching him off guard. However, the King of Light still lives tenaciously without any complaints.

After multiple murder attempts, he finally put on his clothes with the help of eunuch Qiu, escaped from the court, and came to Anguoji, Zhejiang via Jianghuai. The abbot there, Qi'an, was from a clan in the Tang Dynasty. He took him in and gave him a legal name - Qiong Jun. Misha Chenli seemed to understand the true meaning of life and quietly began his spiritual career in Anguo.

It is best to raise a "wooden chicken" [S2/]

According to Zhuangzi, although there are other chickens crow, it seems that it cannot hear it and does not respond. No matter what emergencies it encounters, it doesn't move and looks like a wooden chicken. This kind of cockfighting is a form of training. When other chickens see it, they will turn around and admit defeat. They dare not resist. “Sure enough, this chicken will win every battle from now on.

Chen Li from Anguo is actually a "wooden chicken".

During that period, there was a mysterious proverb circulating in the market: "After Li Shibazi became rich, there were black emperors and black monks who governed the country." The prophecy clearly told people that Tang Wuzong's good fortune was about to come. At the end, some Buddhists will ascend the throne of the emperor.

Tang Wuzong was frightened by the rumors and decided to destroy the Buddha statues. Back in the fifth year of Changchang, Wuzong said: From April 1st, monks and nuns under the age of 40 will return to secular life; from the 16th, monks and nuns under the age of 50 will become secular; from May 11th, monks and nuns over the age of 50 will have no ancestral home. of people will return to this custom. Later, the foreign monks and nuns had to return home.

In the process of destroying Buddhism by Emperor Wuzong of the Tang Dynasty, monks and nuns were brutally and unreasonably persecuted and killed. In September of the third year of Huichang, Jing Zhaofu killed more than 300 new monks at one time in order to hunt down a fugitive who might be hiding among the monks. This situation can probably only be explained by intense fear and hatred. Where do fear and hatred come from? Putting aside the conflict between Taoism and Buddhism, Taoist priests used their political advantage to attack Buddhism, which was the direct cause of Huichang's legal dilemma. But in Tang Wuzong's mind, Li Yan had another important reason, and that was that his imperial uncle, Chen Li, the most famous "idiot" in the royal family, turned a blind eye to Buddhism. For a long time, I have been trying to get rid of "Uncle Guang" who pretends to be stupid.

After Chen Li left, Mr. Wu was often troubled by nightmares. In the dream, a white-haired tiger hanging by its neck roared and tore him into pieces again and again. Wu Zong couldn't stand this nightmare, so he ordered Jingzhao, Huazhou, and Tongzhou to kill tigers on a large scale near Chang'an to dispel the fear and anxiety in his heart. The real tiger was almost killed, but the dream tiger still made a terrible whistle at night. Some people say that the tiger is the incarnation of Chen Li, because Chen Li is a tiger.

It’s Chen Li again. Tang Wuzong decided to dig deep to find his "Uncle Guangming".

At this time, Chen was living in seclusion at Shuixi Temple on the west bank of the county, with the master, avoiding the world and disasters, and practicing meditation. He thought he could jump out of the mortal world and fall into the arms of Buddha, but he didn't know that he had turned into a tiger and broke into Tang Wuzong's dream. Danger is approaching. One day, a magistrate of Jing County came to Shuixi Temple and made a pilgrimage to the mountain. Chen Li saw that the county magistrate was not a Buddhist at all, so she paid little attention to him. When the county magistrate saw monk Chen Li sitting down, he was very angry and ordered Chen Li to be sent to prison for repairs.

Coincidentally, the night before, the then warden had a dream. He dreamed of a yellow dragon wrapped around the prison door, its claws resting on the door frame. After waking up, the warden was puzzled and unable to explain the meaning of the dream. When he went to work the next day, he was still thinking about this dream. At this moment, Chen Li, who was wearing a lock, was roughly pushed in front of him. When he looked up, he saw a monk standing in front of him. He looks strong and stubborn. No matter what his guards did, he would not take a step toward the prison door.

The dreaming warden will soon overlay the image of the monk in front of him with the image of the yellow dragon in his dream. Yes, that's him. He hurriedly asked his subordinates who were stretching their arms and legs to step back, and respectfully invited Chen Li to his room. After ordering the people on the left and right, the warden sat down in front of the great monk Chen Li. Chen Li maintained a monk-like expression of indifference and simply saluted. The warden kowtows like garlic. Chen Li helped him up, asked him for pen and ink, and wrote a poem on the small fan he carried: "The main hall welcomes the cloud stream, and the bells sound like drums. When Chang'an asked about Jiangnan, he said that the scenery is to the west of the water. ”

The warden came to Chang’an with this fan. According to Chen Li's order, he loudly hawked in the center of Chang'an City, asking for 1,000 yuan. Many people gathered together to see what the selling point of this expensive folding fan was, but were disappointed. Although Chen Li's calligraphy is also good, Chang'an people who are accustomed to the calligraphy of Liu Gongquan and others have a high appreciation of calligraphy. The inscriptions on the fan were incomprehensible to them, and the poems were even more incomprehensible.

But those who really get the news can still understand the code words in the poem and learn the whereabouts of the master from this little fan. Emperor Wuzong was seriously ill. The eunuchs, who had been suppressed by him and Prime Minister Li Deyu for five years, were looking for someone who could overthrow Wu Zong to fill the upcoming throne.

At this moment, Chen Li used a small fan to contact them in time. The eunuchs were well aware of the grievances of Tang Wuzong and Chen Li. They thought this was the person they were looking for.

At this time, because the emperor was seriously ill, he only had half his life left. Although he did not accept his fate, fate was ready to abandon him. The Taoist priest next to him explained: From the perspective of the five elements, the Han Dynasty belonged to the virtue of fire. In order to prevent water from killing fire, the Han Dynasty renamed Luoyang "Luoyang"; similarly, the Tang Dynasty belonged to Tutankhamen, and Wuzong's original name was water. Because of complaints, the emperor's luck was suppressed by the fate of the dynasty.

In order to solve the unfavorable fate caused by these five factors, Wu Zong changed his name to Li Yan 12 days before his death.

Chen Li took off her cassock, put on her dragon robe, and ascended the throne. When he is well, he likes to chat with his immediate boss. During this seemingly casual chat, he revealed some strange claims. This is a myth of his own making.

The worried Prime Minister Linghu told his son and nephew what he heard. Many

Farewell to Buddhism, Chen Li, who rules the world, walks from behind the scenes to the front. The difference between being an emperor and being a monk is that the former requires light lifting, while the latter is easier to do. He wants to consolidate his hard-won position in a more pragmatic way.

In the name of Buddha[/s2/]

In general, human nature likes honesty and hates intelligence, but a person with great ambitions cannot do it without intelligence and opportunity. To achieve the purpose, especially when the environment is not satisfactory. He must be smart and witty, and must not be disliked by others. Therefore, he has a stupid lifestyle like sleeping.

In the desolate atmosphere of the late Tang Dynasty and the rapid development of Huichang, the former empire had no choice but to go to Xishan. Chen Li, who took off her cassock, seemed to have taken off her old "wooden chicken costume" and became the new imperial master Tang Xuanzong who swept the world with lightning speed. He first pointed a gun at Li Deyu, who was highly valued and monopolized by Wu Zongchao. Emperor Wuzong of the Tang Dynasty once said to him: "I wish no official appreciated your ears!" The extermination of Buddhism in Huichang was also the result of their joint efforts, as evidenced by Li Deyu's title of "Prime Minister of Extermination of Buddhism".

On the eighth day after Chen Li ascended the throne, Li Deyu was deposed by Emperor Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty and demoted to Chaozhou Sima. Two days later, Li Deyu's most effective assistant, Xue, Minister of Industry, Trade, Salt and Railway Transport, was demoted to Beijing. At the same time, Bai Minzhong, the minister of the Ministry of War and a scholar of the Hanlin Academy, was appointed as the prime minister. At this time, the 40-year struggle between Niu and Li disappeared.

When Chen Li ascended the throne, he was embarrassed to find that he did not know what to call the less senior emperors who had died before him: Jingzong, Wenzong, and Wuzong. According to seniority, Chen Li was the uncle of these former emperors, but he was once their courtier. Those who destroy the Buddha will be destroyed by the Buddha's curse; however, the Buddhist monks have now become kings. This is not Shakespeare's tragicomedy, but a legendary drama in Chinese history.

After a long period of tossing and turning, Chen Li had to accept the advice of "don't analyze Zhao Mu", which meant that when offering sacrifices, he dealt with titles regardless of seniority and got through.

When you are not the emperor, you can pretend to be stupid. Now, as the king of a country, Chen Li no longer wants to pretend like this, not to mention that this is by no means a problem that can be ignored or treated perfunctorily. But the problem is that if Chen Li recognizes the legal status of his brother and nephew, he will be several generations lower than the emperor.

Prime Minister Li Jing observed Chen Li's difficulties and wrote: "Mu Zong is your brother, Jing Zong, Wenzong, and Wu Zong are your brothers' sons." It is fair to worship your brothers; Nephews are pointless! Therefore, Mu Zongshen, Jingzongshen, Wenzongshen, and Wu Zongshen should all be moved out of the ancestral hall, and the following generations will have to move into the ancestral hall. Finally, Mu Zong and his son were moved out of the ancestral hall and sacrificial room by Chen Li and resettled elsewhere. In this way, Chen Li, who attached great importance to etiquette, used such inappropriate etiquette to explain to the world that Mu Zong was an illegal usurper, and Mu Zong's three sons who successively became emperors were all descendants of the usurper. Then, he decided to go back in time and connect the day he ascended the throne to the day Tang Xianzong fell on the 27th of the 15th year of the Tang Dynasty.

So, an ancient murder case, almost forgotten, was finally re-examined.

All bureaucrats and eunuchs who participated or indirectly participated in the murder of Xianzong and the establishment of Mu Zong faced brutal liquidation. As a director, Tang Xuanzong Chen Li completed this revenge drama nearly 30 years later. As the "Cambridge History of Sui and Tang Dynasties in China" said: "Xuanzong's rule was an era of reckoning and evaluation of the past."

For seven years, in order to show that he was the legal heir of Xianzong, Zhenyuan, and Baizhai, he used Endless torture and intricate clues liquidate Yuan, who is against the party. "Yuanhe rebelled against the Party", and the eunuchs were the first to bear the brunt. Tang Xuanzong himself was carefully selected and promoted to emperor by the eunuchs lurking in the palace. They never dreamed that this famous idiot could not deceive Wu Zong, but he deceived them.

The disguise Chen Li used to protect her life became the capital of his rule. Chen Li, who was promoted to the throne by the eunuch, will never forget that the eunuch killed his father Tang Xianzong in Yuanhe Hall 27 years ago; during the Ganlu Incident 22 years ago, the power-playing eunuch was not killed by Tang Wenzong. Instead, they have complete control over government affairs. Therefore, while Chen Li vigorously liquidated the Yuanhe Palace Incident, she overturned the Ganlu Incident, spared no effort to combat the arrogance of the eunuchs, and even supported the eunuchs to ascend the throne. He even scolded the eunuchs around him in front of Prime Minister Yan Yingtang.

Sometimes, the prime ministers thought that Chen Li was making a fuss out of a molehill, so they gave him advice one after another. Chen Li said, "This generation is my slave. Why don't you stick to it? If there are slaves like Qing, they will definitely not be punished." Teach slaves not to be in front of the prime minister. The eunuch scolded by his staff was just a prop for Chen Li. He deliberately showed his complete control over the eunuch in front of the prime minister.

Reckoning is a storm in which those who have not died will die openly or secretly; the dead are exhumed from their graves, their bones are broken, and their ashes are resurrected. Even her biological mother, Queen Guo, could not escape the storm that swept the court because she was responsible for the death of Emperor Xianzong. On an ambiguous night, Queen Guo suddenly fainted and was buried in a hurry.

It is said that Queen Guo will be buried in the garden outside Jingling and is not worthy of Xianzong. The king did not care about his own people, but wrote an article against it, demanding that Queen Guo and Xianzong be buried together in Jingling. Buddha said, don't say it, don't say it, it will be wrong if you say it. In anger, Wang was demoted to Jurong County Magistrate and suddenly left Beijing. In fact, during the change of dynasties in Yuanhe Palace, Chen Li deliberately used funeral utensils that did not comply with etiquette to imply the sins of Guo Shihe's son. How are guilty people buried?

The nostalgia for Yuan and Yi is full of the flavor of the times, has strong expressiveness, and is a political need. In order to show her inheritance to Xianzong, Chen Li, the minister who was highly regarded by Xianzong, tried every means to promote their children. For example, Academician Pei Yan, who helped Xianzong pacify Huaixi, was awarded a bachelor's degree when he went to Chenli Hanlin Academy in person. Chen Li also kindly asked Gao Pei to go home for vacation immediately so that he could share the joy of being an official with his wife and children. When he summoned Pei's imperial edict, he was often rewarded. Once, he gave Pepe an imperial plate of fruit. Chen Pei never brought a container, so he opened his sleeve and took it off. He was considerate and immediately went to Gong'e, untied a small piece of silk from his body, and wrapped the fruit patent for Pei with his own hands.

Once, when Chen Li was reading "Yuanhe Lu", she saw that Jiangxi's later observations had achieved outstanding results in Shan Wei, so she asked Prime Minister Zhou Yong about the situation of Shan Wei's descendants. Zhou Yong said that Shan Wei's son Zhou Wei was meeting the judge in Heyang. Chen Li repeatedly said, "Quick and good official". In this way, he was recalled to the court from the feudal town and served as minister.

One day, Chen Li deliberately told Prime Minister Bai Minzhong that he remembered that he was suddenly caught in a storm on the way to Xianzong's funeral in his early years. The officials escorting the coffin and the people in the Sixth Palace dispersed to avoid the storm. wind and rain. There is only one minister who serves as the mountain ridge and refuses to leave. But because I was young at the time, all I remember is that the man was very old and had a thick beard. Bai Minzhong, who was familiar with the story of the first generation, was immediately sure that it was Linghu Chu. Chen Li asked Linghu Chu if he had any children. Bai Min told him that Linghuchu's eldest son, Linghuchu, was the governor of Suizhou. Chen Li immediately asked him if he could be appointed prime minister. Bai Minzhong said that Linghu and Vixen suffered from wind paralysis, so he recommended Linghu and Vixen's younger brother, Linghu, the former governor of Huzhou. Chen Li immediately believed that Linghu was a con man and a master of knowledge.

When Linghu Jin confessed, he found that he was quite familiar with Yuan He's life experience, so he made him a Hanlin bachelor. Four years later, Linghu was worshiped by Hanlin and became the most popular minister in China and South Korea.

Chen Li of the Yuan Dynasty behaved very gently in front of her children and never concealed her love for her children. His intention is obvious, which is to arouse people's deep memories of the Yuan Dynasty and the era, and then connect and tie him with his father, and tie him to the legitimacy of inheriting the throne.

This kind of restraint really restrained a good emperor, Tang Xuanzong. Sima Guang's evaluation of him in the "Zi Tongzhi Jian" year was: "Clearly aware of everything, selfless, honest and honest, worthy of office, and beneficial to the people." So the politics of righteousness came to an end when the Tang Dynasty fell, and people thought about it. This is Xiao Taizong. "Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty was a loyal fan of Emperor Taizong Li Shimin. He also wrote "Zhenguan Politicians" on the screen and watched it every time. Xuanzong was most concerned about politics and often summoned ministers to talk about politics and explore the way to govern the country. Hu Ling, a Hanlin scholar, often He was called into the advanced class of the Forbidden Army at night, covering all aspects from the palace plans to the sufferings in the world. Xuanzong handled political affairs very carefully and insightfully, which made the ministers very nervous. He was the longest reigning emperor during the reign of Linghu Xuanzong. Prime Minister. He said affectionately: "I have been in politics for ten years, and I am most grateful. "But every time I visit Yanying Temple, I always sweat profusely."

Tang Xuanzong's hard work and efforts have been rewarded, the country's potential has been improved, social conflicts have been alleviated, and people's lives have been improved. Improvement, the entire empire showed a "revitalization" situation.

After Tang Xuanzong came to the throne, he opposed Tang Wuzong and promoted Buddhism. The monks of Anguo Temple were favored by Chen Li because of their poetry creation. He always hoped that Chen Li would give him a purple robe. Because purple clothing is a Taoist garment, Emperor Gaozong of the Tang Dynasty often added the name "Taoism of the same clan", but it was just Taoism. Wearing purple means you can enjoy the same treatment as the prime minister. From Hui's point of view, this kind of favor is indeed a favor to the emperor. But Chen Li didn't let him get what he wanted. He said to Conghui: "I will not hesitate to wear purple cassocks with the teacher, but the teacher's head and ears are a bit thin, I'm afraid it will be difficult to hear." In fact, Chen Li's subtext should be that only civil servants are qualified Put on purple clothes through your own efforts. This reason is ridiculous. Who has ever seen an emperor deprive civil servants of their right to wear purple because they are "slightly thin"?