Give me too many jokes, too many, too funny, just lovelorn, in a bad mood …

The boy took his girlfriend for a walk and passed by the restaurant. The girlfriend exclaimed, "It smells good!" The cash-strapped boy said very gentlemanly, "If you like, we'll walk to the front of the restaurant again."

Step 2 keep your eyes open

When my brother takes the bus, a beautiful girl always looks at him. The younger brother thought: the girl may be interested in herself, and she can't help but be flattered. The girl got off at the station. The younger brother immediately followed. The girl walked in front and looked back from time to time. The younger brother got up the courage to run forward and said humorously, "Miss, why do you always look at me?" Is there a grain of rice on my face? The girl glared at him and said, "Are you sick?" I know. I still don't wipe it. "

I'm here on business.

A man was on a business trip. When he arrived at his destination, he found that there was no parking space, so he had to park his car on the road. He left a note under the wiper that said, "I'm here on business." When I came back, I got a red ticket under the wiper, and there was a note under the note: "Me too."

Step 4 smoke

A student learned to smoke. One day, he walked out of school after school and just took out a cigarette from his pocket, only to find that the class teacher didn't know when he had stood in front of him. Seeing the teacher's eyes wide open, he trembled with fear.

The teacher roared, "Don't you dare smoke!" The students immediately threw their cigarettes on the ground.

The teacher shouted again: "Don't you dare to waste!" After listening, the students quickly picked it up from the ground and handed it to the teacher.

The teacher didn't answer and roared, "How dare you bribe!" The students quickly stuffed them into their pockets.

The teacher shouted more angrily, "Do you dare to do it again?"

The students were at a loss and cried with a "wow".

Alas! ..... poor baby ~ even the heart is dead.

5. Where did you know that?

Euler: "Mom, can I ask you a question?"

Mom: "Yes, you can."

Euler: "When I was born, where did you know my name was Euler?"

6. Best Service Award

One day, my cousin and I went to catch a bus and finally got one, but there were so many people on the bus that the front door could not be squeezed in. We had to swipe our cards at the front door and get on the bus from the back door, but there were too many people on the bus to squeeze in the back door.

So, the driver's big brother discussed with us: I'll start the car first, drive slowly, and you run behind the car. My cousin and I both wondered: What is the solution? But I can't do anything except chase the car. Seeing that the car was about ten meters away, all of a sudden, the passengers on the car couldn't stay up, all of them fell to the front of the car, and the back door suddenly gave up a big place. At this time, the driver's big brother proudly greeted us: get on the bus, get on the bus. ...

7. Rude people

A clown ran into the bank and said to the counter lady, "I want to open an account in XX!" " "

Receptionist: "No problem, sir, but you don't need to use that tone!" " "

Rude: "Can you hurry up? Help me fix this damn account, I'm anxious! "

Receptionist: "Sir, I'm not used to this tone!" " "

Rude: "Don't waste my time, can you help me get an account for XX?"

Receptionist: "Excuse me, sir, I think I should invite our manager out!" " "

Then the girl at the counter ran into the manager's office and complained to the manager. After a while, the manager comforted the young lady and came out to argue with the rude man: "It seems that there is some trouble here. Can you tell me what happened? "

Rude man: "I just want to open an account of XX and deposit the 100 million yuan lottery money I just won in XX, okay?"

The bank manager immediately pointed to the counter lady and said, "I apologize on behalf of this fool!" " "

8. SMS

As soon as the Spring Festival arrives, news about holiday blessings is overwhelming. People take the initiative to send text messages, and naturally they have to reciprocate. Quickly reply with your thumb. In the long run, the phone is hot, my fingers are sore, but my heart is warm.

After the new year, this finger will be adjusted, and if something happens, take out your mobile phone. On this day, I received the news from our leader: the year is over; People are tired of running; Spend all your money; There are fewer text messages; Nobody cares; Then go to work honestly.

Nine or seven dollars

A woman took counterfeit money to buy breakfast. The stall owner was annoyed: "Elder sister, even if you give counterfeit money, at least it is printed. You actually took this money! " Forget drawing, to say the least. You can draw ten pieces, five pieces or seven pieces! "

10, a credible gift

A robber entered the jewelry store, pointed a pistol at the boss and said, "Give me the ring, hurry up!" " "

The boss was scared to death and handed a diamond ring. The robber looked at it carefully and roared, "I have to convince my fiancee that I bought it cheaply!" "