Humorous jokes ...

1. Single Xiao Wang asked Lao Li: Why does the law stipulate that a man can only marry one wife?

Lao Li said earnestly: When you get a wife, you will find that this law actually protects men.

2. A couple quarreled. Woman: "You can't compare with anyone!" " "

Man: "Yes, especially girlfriends!" "

Do you like my angel's face or the devil's figure?

M: I ... I like your sense of humor.

One day, a duck traveled around the world by plane, ate an eight-treasure meal on the plane, and accidentally the plane caught fire and crashed.

Later, people found the cooked duck in the wreckage of the plane, which had not been digested by the eight-treasure rice.

..... This is the origin of Babel Duck. ...

5. Tang Priest: You should find a shortcut to learn from the scriptures this time!

Wukong: Flying is faster than riding!

Bajie: Shenzhou VI is faster!

Friar Sand pulled out his gun and said, I heard this thing will be sent to the west at once.

6. If you feel forgotten by the world, try to miss an issue.

7. Ayue wants to cook in person and asks her mother who is playing mahjong how many meters to wash.

Mom didn't hear Ah Yue's question. She played the cards in her hand and said, "Nine drums".

As a result, this pot of rice kept them eating for a whole week.

8. When riding a motorcycle, a person likes to wear his clothes backwards, that is, buckle his back to keep out the wind.

One day, he drove under the influence of alcohol, overturned and fell headlong on the side of the road.

When the police arrived, ...

Policeman A: What a terrible car accident.

Policeman B: Yes, I hit my head in the back.

Officer A: Well, he's still breathing. Let's help him turn his head back.

Policeman B: OK ... One, two, push, turn around.

Policeman A: Well, I'm not breathing. ......

9. A tourist came to a country road and saw a road sign that said, "This road is blocked, so you can't go forward."

Seeing that there are no obstacles ahead, he is confident that he has rich travel experience and moves on.

Soon, he found that a bridge was broken and had to turn around.

When he came to the place where the street sign was put just now, he saw the back of the street sign saying:

"Welcome back, fool."

10. Once upon a time, an old king wanted to marry his two daughters, so he invited princes from all over the world to get married. He asked a question and answered it so that he could marry his beautiful eldest daughter. He asked people to pull the first elephant. The question is: how can an elephant jump into the river with his ass covered?

Everyone looked at each other. At this time, the ugliest Persian prince came up. He walked behind the elephant, took out a needle and stuck it in the elephant's ass. The elephant covered his ass and jumped into the river. The old king had no choice but to marry his eldest daughter.

In a few months, he will marry his second daughter. This time, he has a more difficult problem: how to make the elephant nod first, then shake his head, then nod, and then jump into the river.

No one dares to answer. The prince of Persia went to the elephant again and said to the elephant, "Do you still know me?"

The elephant nodded.

"Do you want to be the same as last time?"

The elephant shook his head.

"Then you know what to do."

The elephant nodded, covered his ass and jumped into the river.

1 1. The first gathering of the university was held in the zoo.

Everyone * * * the reason is:

Only here can I feel that I am still alone!

12. You said: I love you 52 1

+Say it again: 365 per day.

-

Result = 886

13. A famous surrealist painter suffered from eye diseases, so he went to see an ophthalmologist. After careful treatment by the doctor, he finally recovered, so the painter decided to reward the doctor. But the doctor refused to pay the fee and asked the painter to draw a picture for him.

"What kind of painting do you want?" Asked the painter.

"It doesn't matter what you draw, as long as you draw it." The doctor replied.

So, the painter drew a huge eye, and the center of the pupil of the eye is the portrait of the doctor, which is very realistic and lifelike.

The doctor sighed after seeing it and said, "Fortunately, I am not an anorectal doctor! ! ! ! "

14. The flight attendant greeted the guests at the airport gate. A young man came up and said, "Welcome aboard. Which seat are you in? "

The passenger replied, "I'm Scorpio, and you?"

"I'm a Scorpio. I mean, which seat are you sitting in? . . . "

15. My company is like a tree full of monkeys, and all the monkeys on high see smiling faces.

And the monkey in the lower position sees all his ass.

16. Moderator: Mr. George has already passed five levels. Let's clap! Do you have the courage to hit the highest prize of 30 thousand yuan?

George: Yes! ! !

Moderator: Good! There are two problems with the last level. Which question should I answer first?

George: So, what's the second question?

Moderator: Listen! Excuse me, when did it happen?

17. Q: What is worse than a giraffe's neck pain?

A: A centipede with athlete's foot?