Philosophical wisdom hidden in ancient jokes

The mouse and the wasp became brothers and invited a scholar as an alliance card. The scholar had to go and was listed as the third person. A friend asked, "Why do you live under a mouse?" The answer said, "The two of them are drilling and stabbing for a while. I have to slow him down."

The mouse and the wasp became brothers and invited a scholar to testify. The scholar had to go, only ranked third. A friend asked him, "Why do people live under mice?" The scholar replied, "One can drill and the other can stab, so I have to let them go."

Comment on the ancients' view that we should not exclude villains too violently. Too much crowding out will cause the villain to make a mess, thus destroying the overall situation, because the villain has no bottom line and will do whatever it takes.

The villain is very sensitive to interests, good at gaining interests, pleasing the boss, giving up his blood, and even doing things that normal people dare not think about.

In ancient times, an official fell ill, and the doctor prescribed "Huang Longtang", which is a mixture of stool and urine of children. Officials are reluctant. One of his subordinates said it was not difficult and was willing to give the chief a try first. As a result, the "warrior" really picked up a bowl of "Huang Longtang" and gulped it down.

Villains are good at ganging up for self-interest and rejecting dissidents, that is, they are good at "stabbing". When dealing with people who hinder them from obtaining benefits, they often attack them in groups, and they do not hesitate to plant and frame them.

Ancient joke 2: Memorial to Confucius Temple

In the original text, some people who came to Pan Pan with money and money visited the Confucius Temple, and Confucius spoke to answer them. The scholar said, "Today is the master's apprentice acceptance ceremony. You should sit down and accept it." Confucius said, "How dare you? You are a disciple of my brother Kong Fang, and you will never be worshipped. "

A man paid money to enter the Confucius Temple, and Confucius came down from his throne to thank him. The man said, "It is your disciples who worship you today. You should sit on the throne and be worshipped. " Confucius said, "No, you are a disciple of my' brother Kong Fang' (the square outside the round hole inside the copper coin), and I must never worship."

Comment on "Confucius Brothers" is a joke about money in ancient times. Do many officials and "successful people" get their master's and doctor's degrees by power or by the power of "Kong Fang brothers"? Look at the ancient today or today, look at the ancient today or today (look at the ancient today, look at the ancient today).

Ancient joke 3: gossip

Carve three religious images in the original temple: Confucianism, Buddhism and Taoism. The Taoist priest took a look and moved the old man to the middle. When the monk saw it, he moved Sakyamuni to the middle. Seeing this, I moved Confucius to China. The Three Sages said to himself, "We used to be fine, but these little people moved around and broke it."

There are statues of three religions in the temple: Confucianism, Buddhism and Taoism. As soon as the Taoist priest saw it, he immediately moved the old man to the middle position; When the monk saw it, he moved Sakyamuni to the middle position. As soon as the scholar saw it, he moved Confucius to the middle position. The Three Sages said to himself, "We used to be fine, but we were moved around by these little people, and we moved miserably."

Comment on the Book of Changes: "The world is the same, but the Tao is different, and it is consistent and worrying." All kinds of ideas go hand in hand and go the same way. Tolerance is great, and tolerance and freedom of thought are the driving forces for cultural health and progress. Without a portal dispute, the truth can be gradually revealed in discussion and collision.

Old joke 4: proportion

It turned out to be an exquisite room made by a vulgar China person, and there were all kinds of antique calligraphy and painting in the room. When the guests arrived, they asked, "If there is something out of proportion among them, please advise and go." The guest said, "Everything is fine, there is only one thing to go." The host asked, "What is it?" The guest said, "Just one step away."

A vulgar man built a beautiful living room with a list of antique paintings and calligraphy. When the guests arrived, the host asked, "If there is anything out of place in the room, please make suggestions so as to eliminate it." The guest said, "Everything is fine, only one thing can be removed." The host said, "What is it?" The guest said, "It's you."

In ancient Greece, a rich man invited the philosopher diogenes to admire his luxurious room, which was full of valuables and spotless.

After reading it for a long time, Diogenes spat on the rich man's face and said, "This house is so clean and beautiful, I really can't find a place to spit, so I have to spit in your face!" "

No matter how exquisite the external packaging is, it can't replace a person's connotation, and it can't cover up a person's barren and vulgar mental outlook.

Ancient joke 5: Trouble

The original text still asks: "Who took the name of Fan Chi?" "Confucius took it." Q: "Who named Fan Kuai?" Yue: "Han Zu took it." He said, "Who will take the name of trouble?" He said, "He asked for it."

A man asked, "Who named Fan Chi?" Another person replied, "Confucius took it." "Who named Fan Kuai?" A: "Emperor Gaozu took it." Ask again: "Who gave the name of trouble?" The answer is: "He took it himself."

Comments are right or wrong only because there are many openings, and troubles are all because of strength. Most troubles are self-inflicted. Pascal, a French philosopher, said, "Many troubles in life are caused by unwillingness to stay in my room quietly."

Ancient joke 6: I saw the arrow shaft

When you go to the martial arts field alone, you miss an arrow. In the face of surgical treatment, the doctor said, "It's very simple." Then saw off his outer pole with a small saw, which is to ask for a resignation. Q: "How about internal cutting?" Answer: "This is a matter of internal medicine."

A man went to the martial arts school to watch the game and missed an arrow. Looking for a surgeon to treat him, the doctor said, "It's a piece of cake." So I sawed off the arrow shaft outside my body with a saw. I asked for the fee and planned to leave. Someone asked, "Where is the arrow left in the body?" The doctor replied, "This is a matter for physicians."

The attitude of criticizing the symptoms, not the root cause, only solving superficial problems and perfunctory things is a common manifestation of people who have made mistakes at all times and in all countries. For example, the "achievements project" and "face project" in local economic development are not solved, but the "environmental problems" are concealed. This is the act of "sawing the arrow shaft", leaving a pile of messy stalls waiting for others to clean up.

Ancient joke 7: Meeting bosom friends

In the original text, a student plays the piano very well and tastes that he is not happy without a confidant in the world. One day, I had nothing to do, playing the piano for fun, and suddenly I heard a sigh from my neighbor. I am ecstatic. I thought my bosom friend was there, so I knocked on the door. The neighbor said, "Without him, my dead son lives in the daytime, and I play catkins for a living. It sounds great today. I don't feel sad. "

A gentleman usually likes to play the piano. He once said that he is always unhappy without a bosom friend. I have nothing to do all day. He played the piano for fun, when suddenly he heard a sigh coming from next door. Thought I met a bosom friend, so I knocked at the door and asked what was going on. The old lady next door said, "Nothing. My dead son made a living by playing cotton. Today, you play the piano like he plays cotton. I didn't feel sad after listening to it. "

People who are overconfident and conceited are prone to make jokes, so it is necessary to have a correct understanding of themselves.

Ancient joke 8: Cry for Lin.

Confucius did not cry when he saw Lin die. Disciples tried to comfort them, fabricated money to hang cows, and told them: "Lin is still alive." Confucius said, "This is obviously a village cow, but it has a few extra dollars."

Confucius cried when he saw the dead unicorn. In order to comfort Confucius, his students strung copper coins and hung them all over the cow, telling Confucius, "Kirin has come back to life." When Confucius saw the fake unicorn, he said, "This is obviously a stupid cow, just a few more money."

Comment on today's "local tyrants", the nouveau riche may be "just a few more money", and the luxury of the land can't cover up the lack of academic qualifications. Some people are so poor that they have only money left!

Ancient joke 9: Don't want to get rich

In the original text, a ghost gives birth to life, and Hades judges that it is a rich man. The ghost said, "I don't want to be rich, but I want to have food and clothing all my life." Burning fragrant tea is enough. " Hades said, "If you want money, I will give you tens of thousands more to make you live a stable and happy life, but you are not allowed to enjoy it."

A ghost wanted to be born, and the keeper sentenced him to be a rich man. The ghost said, "I don't want wealth, but I want to have food and clothing all my life, no right and wrong, burn fragrant tea and enjoy a peaceful life." Hades said, "If you want money, I will give you tens of thousands of taels of silver to make you live a stable and happy life, and you are not allowed to enjoy it."

Comment on the feelings of ancient and modern people. Ghost's request is very "petty bourgeoisie", similar to the lines commonly used by literary women today, such as "holding a cup of tea, tasting a book, keeping a quiet place, wishing the world stability and good years"!

Prosperity is not as good as leisure and happiness, but how many people in the world can really get leisure and happiness in this changeable and unstable rolling world of mortals!

Ancient joke 10: tender head

As soon as I was asked to shave my head, I raised my hand and suffered a lot. But he stopped the knife and said to his master, "this head is still tender, so I can't cut it." And I will shave after a while when I am old. "

A barber shaved someone's head, only a few times, and he hurt several scalps. So he put down his knife and stopped shaving. He said to his master, "Your head is too tender to cut. After a while, let it grow up and shave it for you. "

People who are unwilling to take responsibility for things that have been screwed up will put the blame on irrelevant people or objective factors. Beware of those who can't sleep and complain about the crooked bed!