Classic boys and girls jokes

1、? Where did you meet your ex-boyfriend

? Weibo. ?

? Does he have a high income?

? Meager. ?

? Then why did you break up?

? Weibo. ?

2. In order to propose to your girlfriend, pretend to read her palm, and then tell her affectionately that your future husband is a peerless good man, handsome and rich, and you can enjoy happiness for a lifetime if you marry him.

Girlfriend pa, angry in person: I want to break up with TM, just say so. . .

I held my girlfriend last night. I was honest and didn't move. She suddenly slapped me and then said, why can't a good pig suddenly bow its head to cabbage? . .

4、? Will you leave me?

? Yes ?

? What time?

? After you leave this world. ?

? Get out! Why should I die first? ? Girlfriend backhand slap. . .

5. My girlfriend just put on a mask.

Girlfriend: Honey, do you think I'm white?

Me: Well, Bai!

Girlfriend: Then why don't you praise me?

Me: Oh, one white covers all the ugliness. . .

Pa ~ ~ resounded through the sky.

6. Visiting the night market with my girlfriend, she took a fancy to a little thing on the stall. The boss wants 30 yuan, and the girlfriend asks? Can you make it cheaper?

The boss didn't agree, and the girlfriend bargained to 20. I didn't bring much money for a walk, just 20. ?

The boss was about to agree when I added:? I still have money here. ?

My girlfriend snapped and turned away, so angry that she didn't buy anything.

Hey, hey, it's only worth 20 yuan a slap, I snickered!

7. The woman knows that the man likes her very much for a long time. One day, the woman asked: You like me for so long, why don't you chase me?

M: I don't think that's possible.

Woman: How do you know it's impossible if you don't chase it?

The man thinks there is a chance and pursues her every day. . .

After a while, the man confessed to her, but he was rejected. He asked her angrily why.

She said coldly: I just tell you what is impossible with practical actions. . .

8. When I went to my girlfriend's house for dinner, I told her that if one day I was dumped by a man, would you take care of me for dinner like this?

As a result, this guy turned to me and said, you said it as if you wanted it yourself, but I was speechless. . .

9. My stepdaughter grew up day by day. Finally, on the day when the peach was ripe, I bought a catty for her to eat.

10, every time I pass by an Internet cafe, I feel sad to see those teenagers who are addicted to the Internet. I want to arouse their fighting spirit by myself, but I can't. . . So I can only swipe my ID card and take a chance. If I can save one person, I'm one. . .

1 1. The man grabbed my hand and I tried my best, but I didn't move.

I can't help begging: Brother, please don't touch me. I will repay you in my next life. ?

The man held on tighter and tighter, and the thought that he would succeed made me cry with humiliation.

The man was shocked: I said, brother, how can I get my cards back? Put down the 30 thousand in my hand, I want to touch it ?

12, there is a 3-year-old girl in my family. Now she is in kindergarten, and she goes to pick her up every day. Although it's hard, I know it's a man's duty. As long as the family is good, it is nothing to work hard.

Today, I sent my baby to primary school as usual, but I felt reluctant to go back and forgot to look at it more, not to mention the new teacher is really sexy! ! !

13, in the hot sun, she stood stubbornly in the middle of the road, letting sweat soak the back of her clothes. I have no choice. I went over and advised: Girl, the sun is so poisonous and your skin is so good, don't get tanned?

She didn't speak, I:? Look at this car coming and going A close call. Why don't you leave here? She still ignores me. . .

Me:? If you have any ideas, let me know. Don't be too sad. You are still young. My persistence finally paid off. She spoke: Do you believe me to detain you if you want to interfere with my traffic control again? Go away! ?

14, drive to the gas station to refuel,

Me:? Waiter, come on. ?

Attendant:? Sorry, sir, we don't have gas for your car. ?

I was angry at that time: this is the largest gas station in the city, and you haven't got the oil I want?

Attendant:? But we really don't have the oil on your bicycle chain. ?

15, female:? Let's break up. ?

Man:? It's ok to break up, let me hold your hand for the last time! ?

The girl agreed and the boy smiled. If you can break away from me, I will agree to break up. ?

The girl had a hard time getting rid of the boy, and the boy immediately turned and left. . .

The girl suddenly understood something and cursed, Martin, you gave me the ring, and you fucking returned it! ?

16、? When you confess to a girl, how can you tell whether she is shy or really refuses?

? It's simple. You can see it in your face. ?

? What if her face hasn't changed?

? Then look at your face. ?

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