What's the name of this book?

Dogs eat paintings and calligraphy.

At the end of the Ming Dynasty and the beginning of the Qing Dynasty, there was a wise man named Abby in Bifeng, Lanxi, Zhejiang Province. He often opposed the rich man.

One day, monopoly Zhou Daosheng spoke ill of Abby in a teahouse. Abby happened to pass by and walked in and said, "I met him today."

A strange thing happened. "

Zhou Daosheng quickly asked, "Brother Bi, what's so strange?"

Abby said, "My neighbor's dog has been stealing paintings and calligraphy recently. Today, the neighbor took out all the paintings and calligraphy collected at home.

I came to bask in the sun and was eaten by a dog. The owner killed the dog and cut open its belly. Guess what's inside? Ha, one

The picture of the belly is not good. "

The tea drinker realized that Bi was laughing at Zhou Daosheng and burst out laughing.

"Blessed are the plague dogs."

One day, Sun Man, a rich man, was going to give him a banquet. Long-term worker Abby went shopping with him and bought a whole basket of fish.

On the way back, Abby saw a yellow dog not far away, so he deliberately put down the basket and carried it. The yellow dog pounced on it and took it away in one bite.

Meat. Sun Caizhu ordered Bi Nan to chase after him. Abby chased him for a while and came back empty-handed and said, "Oh, what a blessing for a sick dog!" "

Sun Man, a rich man, asked inexplicably, "What did you say?"

Abby said, "Well, as long-term workers, we work hard all year round and never eat a meal, just like your boss."

Say' destiny takes a hand', there is no luck. "

The rich man nodded and said, "Yes! Eating meat has the blessing of eating meat. Why do I always drink and eat?

This is' destiny takes a hand' "

Abby smiled and said, "Boss, that dead plague dog took the meat away. Like you, he is happy to eat meat. "

The rich man froze.

Zheng Banqiao's poems on sending thieves.

Zheng Banqiao, a painter in Qing Dynasty, was poor when he was young. Because there is no name and no power, although calligraphy and painting are good, they can't sell well.

There is nothing of value at home.

One day, Zheng Banqiao was lying in bed when he suddenly saw a furtive figure on enough paper. Zheng Banqiao thought: It must be a thief.

There you are. What can I get for you? Then sing a poem loudly:

The wind is blowing, the moon is faint, and the husband who works is cold!

There are ten thousand volumes hidden in the belly of poetry and books, and there are no half of the money strings at the bedside.

Hearing this, the thief turned and ran. Zheng Banqiao read two more farewell poems:

Don't scare the yellow-tailed dog when going out, and don't interfere with the green flowerpot when climbing over the wall.

The thief hurried over the wall and escaped. He accidentally knocked over some wall tiles. Zheng Banqiao's yellow dog shouted to catch thieves.

Take a bite. Zheng Banqiao put on his clothes and went out, drank the yellow dog, picked up the fallen thief, sent him to the road, bowed, and then

Yin sent two poems:

I will put on my clothes at night, pack up my ambitions and start over.

Zheng Banqiao's crab poems.

When Zheng Banqiao was appointed as the magistrate of Wei County, one day, officials reported that the magistrate passed by Wei County, but Zheng Banqiao didn't go out to meet him.

Answer the phone. It turns out that the county magistrate was born from class donations, and the money he bought was enough to carry a sedan chair, but there was no real talent in his stomach.

Zheng Banqiao looked down upon him.

Magistrate adults came to the county government kitchens, Zheng Banqiao didn't go out of the city to meet, in the heart very unhappy. During the dinner, the magistrate thought more.

The angrier you get. Just then, the official served a plate of river crabs, and the magistrate thought, "Why don't I let him improvise a poem about crabs?"

Come out, I'll humiliate him in public, or I'll sulk in my heart! So he pointed at the crab with chopsticks and said, "This thing crosses the river."

Jiang, arrogant, has long heard that Zheng is talented. Why not sing a poem on this topic to help drinkers? "

Zheng Banqiao know its meaning, just a thought, sing a way:

Eight claws ran around, two claws danced with dignity, their bellies were empty, and ginger vinegar was stained with wine.

The county magistrate was embarrassed.

"disbanded by order"

When Zheng Banqiao was a county magistrate, he met a famine year. He was dismissed by the emperor for opening a warehouse to release grain and giving alms to the poor. So,

Rent a boat and go back to Yangzhou's hometown along the Grand Canal.

One day, I saw an official ship moored in front of the dock, with a flag hanging on the mast, asking all civilian ships to return.

Avoid. Zheng Banqiao said to himself, "You took office at the behest of the emperor, and I will be dismissed at the behest of the emperor. Not all of them are "orders"

Really?

What do you look like? "So, took a piece of silk, write" marching orders "four characters, also hung on the mast.

On the official ship is the son of a big court traitor named Yao Youcai. Although this person is unlearned, he relies on Lao Tzu's potential.

Force, get a job, this time will take office in Yangzhou. At this time, I saw a ship hanging on the mast that read "Order to disband".

Flag, feel strange, a inquire, turned out to be Zheng Banqiao, gave him calligraphy and painting.

Zheng Banqiao heard that this Yao Youcai knew nothing but eating, drinking, whoring and gambling and dominating the market, so he quickly wrote.

He wrote a poem: "It is difficult to buy a bamboo with money. If you have more money, you can't have a green flowerpot. If you lack branches and leaves, you can't have many bamboo shoots. If you have virtue, you must be polite. " each

At the beginning of the sentence, the words "rich and wicked" are linked together. Yao Youcai took a look and almost fainted.

Ji Xiaolan laughed in front of the Buddha.

One day, Ji Xiaolan (a great scholar in Qing Dynasty) accompanied Emperor Qianlong to visit the Great Buddha Temple. The two men came to the king's hall, but they saw it inside.

A statue of Maitreya in the middle, with a big belly, is watching them laugh. Qianlong asked, "Why does this Buddha laugh at me?"

Ji Xiaolan calmly replied: "This Put Lolerk smiled at the Buddha."

Gan Long asked, "How do you say this?"

Ji Xiaolan said, "The Holy One is the reincarnation of Manjusri Bodhisattva, the living Buddha today, and now he comes to the Buddhist temple to worship Buddha, so it is said that Buddha sees Buddha.

Laugh. "

Qianlong secretly praised and turned to leave. Suddenly, he saw Maitreya smiling at Ji Xiaolan. He turned around and asked, "Is the Buddha also clear?"

Laugh, why? "

Ji Xiaolan said, "Your Majesty, a Buddha smiles at a minister, but a smiling minister cannot become a Buddha."

Gan Long praised Ji Xiaolan's eloquence.

Ge ge Cao Bao

Xiao Shenyang, the powerful minister, built a new mansion and asked Ji Xiaolan to write a plaque. Ji Xiaolan pen to give him the word "bamboo", said

It means "bamboo, corn, pine". Little Shenyang happily hangs it in the hall. When Emperor Qianlong saw this, he said to Shenyang, "You were killed by Ji Xiaolan.

Played a trick! Take the word' bamboo shoots' apart and it becomes the word' each straw bag'. "Small shenyang in distress situation.

What an old turtle!

The Prime Minister celebrated his eightieth birthday. In order to make a fortune, he sent invitations everywhere, regardless of relatives or friends. Ji Xiaolan is very different about this.

A man, the day before his birthday, sent someone to give him a big red one with four big words written on it: "What an old turtle".

The Prime Minister was very angry when he saw it. The next day, he asked Ji Xiaolan to explain it face to face.

Ji Xiaolan said quietly, "You are an old minister of the previous dynasty. You are 80 years old and you are old." For generations, black gauze covered the top.

Wu'; Since ancient times, turtles are as famous as cranes, both of which are symbols of longevity. What kind of person is Wei Wudi who even praises turtles as turtles?

It is a blessing to celebrate the birthday of the old prime minister, which is not empty; "Real" people are real and well-deserved. "

After listening to his explanation, everyone was in distress situation. The old prime minister had a hard time, and at that time he couldn't think of a suitable countermeasure, so he had to make a makeover.

Thank you.

Understand the "old man"

One day in midsummer, Ji Xiaolan was compiling Siku Quanshu, and he sat shirtless in front of the book case. At this moment, dry long suddenly way

Arrive. Disdressed, seeing a driver is guilty of cheating you, let alone Ji Xiaolan! He panicked and quickly hid under the table.

Actually, Qianlong had already seen it, waved around and told them to be quiet, and sat at the table where Ji Xiaolan was hiding.

Come down. After a long time, Ji Xiaolan felt out of breath. Listen to the silence outside, and because the table is covered, he can't see, also can't let the emperor know.

Did you leave? So he secretly stretched out a middle finger and asked in a low voice, "Is the old man gone?"

Angry and funny, Gan Long deliberately shouted, "How presumptuous! Who is here?

Get out of here! "

Ji Xiaolan had no choice but to climb out and kneel on the ground. Gan Long said, "Why do you call me an old man? If you are right, forgive me.

You, otherwise, hum "

Ji Xiaolan replied: "Long live your Majesty and should be called' old'; As a king, the head of a country is respected, and of course everyone is respected.

Head'; Son,' favored by heaven' also. Calling' old man' is the supreme title. "

"Then what is this middle finger?"

"On behalf of' Jun', it is the king of' Heaven and Earth'." Ji Xiaolan reached out a hand, moved his middle finger and said, "Count from the left.

On, heaven and earth pro-teacher, middle finger jun; Counting from the right, heaven and earth are close, and the middle finger is still king; So the middle finger represents jun. "

Gan Long said with a smile: "You used your quick wits, which is commendable. You are innocent!"

A few generous gifts

During the Qianlong period of the Qing Dynasty, there was a rich man in the village where Pang Zhenkun lived in Dengzhou, Henan Province. When his wife gave birth to her eighth child, her name was Jia.

Know all tenants,/kloc-treat in 0/2 days. The heavier the gift, the better. If you don't send it, be careful to slap him. According to local rules, it is not the first child.

This is not a treat. The tenants were angry and anxious, so they asked Pang Zhenkun to find a way.

After 12 days, Pang Zhenkun led the tenant with a stone on his back to the rich man's house. Seeing this scene, the rich man was furious. Pang Zhenkun laughed.

"Didn't you say that the heavier the gift, the better?" After that, I went to a banquet with my tenants.

Such a bride

There is a county magistrate who is greedy for sex and wants to get a satisfied little wife. He sent people to choose from the east and the west, which was disturbing. one

One day, Pang Zhenkun introduced himself as the matchmaker of the county magistrate and asked him what he wanted to marry. The county magistrate said, "What I want is a cherry with a small mouth and almond eyes.

Crescent eyebrows, fairy face, no eating or drinking, no gossip. "

Pang Zhenkun smiled and said, "What a coincidence, there are such women in my village." At present, the merchants have set a wedding date. Inginna

God, firecrackers, gongs and drums and horns are so lively. As soon as the sedan chair arrived, the county magistrate came forward to uncover the bride's flower cover. He was furious: so it was.

Bodhisattva dressed in flowers and mud embryo.

Pang Zhenkun said with a smile, "Look, she is not a cherry with a small mouth, almond eyes, crescent eyebrows and a fairy face. She doesn't talk about eating and drinking.

Wear, four doors are full of gossip'? "

Scold the rich skillfully

During the Qianlong period of the Qing Dynasty, Xie Shimei, a farmer from Jing 'an Town, Xiangling County, Pingyang County, Shanxi Province, came back from working in the field at noon one day. see

Under the big tree at the entrance of the village, there are four rich men, with big cattail leaf fans in their hands, reclining on the recliner, pressing their legs with their thighs, smoking, drinking tea and chatting.

Jesus Christ. The rich man in the palace smoked a bag of cigarettes and said, "A bag of cigarettes after a meal is better than a living fairy!" " "

The rich man took a sip of tea and said, "Drink the tea after drinking it. It's delicious!" " "

Zhu Caizhu shook her fan and said, "It's beautiful if you can, even if you get up early!"

If the rich man squints, he says, "If you can be happy, you will be happy. I don't care if others live or die! "

Hearing this, Xie Shimei scolded in her heart: you don't pick your shoulders, you are good at it. Help yourself, it's ready-made. Great, full of oil.

That's enough, have fun! All right! Give them a few words, too He coughed, spit and cleared his throat.

Roared away: "I passed that tree that day and met four strange goods: looking up-oh, oh, oh, one with a dry bone and the other."

Drink a cup of urine, one fanned the yin and yang, and the other died and closed his eyes. I vomited in the past and was shocked by four strange goods. the original

It's an interesting sow dog! "

Don't let rich people take advantage.

On one occasion, Xie Shimei went to Hongtong to do short-term work for a rich man. After running all day, she was hungry. Who knows that the rich man only

I brought him two leftover steamed buns, half a pot of thin rice soup and a withered green onion. He doesn't care. He just picked it up and ate it, as if he had filled his teeth.

It's over before I feel it.

The rich man was very distressed and asked strangely, "Young man, where is your home?"

Xie Shimei replied: "Far! Jing 'an Town, Xiangling County. "

The rich man asked again, "I heard there is a wicked man in Jing 'an. Do you know him? "

"Please say your name!"

"I heard that he is called' hungry ghost'!"

How can there be such a person in Jing 'an? Hearing this, Xie Shimei didn't ask anyone, but explicitly scolded me! Seems to work for this advocate.

Live, I don't know how much cowardice I will eat in the future! Simply, don't eat his bowl of rice, give him something to see! Shijiemei JIU Zhuang

I couldn't recognize the voice in the words and said, "Well, we will know."

The rich man was amused and asked, "What would he do?"

Xie Shimei closed her eyes and said, "Close your eyes!"

The rich man thinks that closing his eyes means that he is dead. He was surprised and asked, "Because of what?"

"alas! He suffered all his life and gave birth to a disobedient and unfilial son. His son thinks he has eaten too much, and scolds him as soon as he meets him.

He is a' hungry ghost'. Do you think, I fed him with blood and sweat, how can I stand such cowardice? So, when you are angry, you just

Close all the eye sockets! "

The rich man froze.

The mirror of the magistrate's museum

One day, the magistrate of a county wanted to test Shen's knowledge, so he invited him to drink. After three rounds of wine, the magistrate pointed to his heart.

The photojournalist asked Shen who he was.

Shen smiled and said, "What a big pillow."

After seeing Shen off, the county magistrate told his little wife, "People say Shen is very learned, but in fact he can't even recognize the mirror in the museum."

Well, some people say it's a pillow top! The little wife thought for a moment and asked, "Sir, do you know what's in the pillow?"

"Straw!"

The little wife said, "That's right! He compared you to an embroidered pillow, full of grass and a big straw bag! "

False cucumber

On this day, Han Lao Da watched the episode and bought a bowl of boiled tofu to eat. There is an old rich man across the table, eating shredded pork and cucumber.

While drinking wine, he proudly said to himself, "The poor are poor, the rich are rich, the rich eat cucumbers, and the poor eat tofu."

Hearing this, Boss Han knew that the old rich man was making fun of himself, so he was not anxious or angry. He said to the waiter, "I want 150 plate of meat."

Silk mixed with cucumber! "

The waiter said, "There are not so many cucumbers. Besides, why do you want so much? "

Boss Han said, "I bought a wild boar in the collection." The original owner said that this big wild boar loves to eat mixed cucumbers. This is called:

The poor are poor, the rich are rich, and boars love cucumbers. Pig drivers can only eat tofu. "

Everyone who ate in the restaurant burst into laughter. The old rich man blushed, picked up the hip flask, drank it all at once, and left despondently.

Ran out of the restaurant.

Tortoise talks a lot.

One year, boss Han went to Diao Zui's house to carry the work. He saw the rich man muttering about long-term workers while eating, asking them to eat.

I can't stand stopping, so I want to find a chance to play a trick on him. One day. After lunch, Diao broke his mouth and went to the long room to chat endlessly.

It's gone. Korean boss more listen to more angry, while smoking a cigarette in his mouth, he told a story:

Once upon a time, there was a man whose friend treated him to a meal. He thought.

Invite this friend back. One day, he caught a turtle. He asked his wife for money and planned to go to the market to buy some food.

The wife said, "Nothing, why spend money?"

He said, "Then we can't invite friends with turtle meat!" " Spread it out, my face is not pretty! "

The wife said, "Oh, you won't. Don't say this is turtle meat! Just say' talk about meat'! "

The next day, he invited his friends and his wife brought a bowl of turtle meat. My friend ate a piece and thought it was delicious. He asked, "This?"

The meat is delicious. What kind of meat is it? "

He said, "This is meat."

The friend took another piece and praised it while tasting it: "This meat is delicious!" " "Say that finish, and put a piece in his mouth.

After a while, I ate up a bowl of turtle meat. The wife brought another bowl and turned around.

I ate my eyes again. The host asked his wife to bring another bowl of meat. The wife was anxious, gestured with her hand and said, "That's it."

Bastard, there are so many words there? "

Hearing this, the long-term workers all burst into laughter. Diao broken mouth first one leng, blinked, half a day to figure out the taste:

Oh, long time no see. Boss Han is belittling me!

Chase rabbits

At the end of the Qing Dynasty, in a village in Linqing, Shandong Province (now Linxi County, Hebei Province), there was a farmer named Luo, who was witty and clever.

It's famous in the park.

One year, he went to Jizhou, Zhili in the north (now Jixian County, Hebei Province) to do odd jobs. One day, after walking a lot, I was hungry.

Cooking. I met a gentleman from a rich family who took a group of people out hunting with dogs and eagles. Several attendants were carrying steamed buns and meat.

Luo stepped forward and said, "What's the difference between your Zhili and our Shandong? In our place, hunters only chase rabbits when they see them.

Come on, no hounds, no eagles. "

Mr. Wang said, "Nonsense, can people catch up?"

"It's a pity that I'm hungry," Luo said. "Why don't I chase one for you?"

The gentleman invited Luo to eat steamed bread and meat. Luo Zheng was full, just as a rabbit came out of the grass nest, so he said:

"Now look at me." But no sooner had he run a few steps than the rabbit disappeared.

Mr. Wang is angry: "Why can't you catch up?"

Luo smiled and said, "Our rabbit runs slowly and can catch up. Your rabbit runs really fast. Why? "

Can you make it? "

Busy catching lice

Luo went to Gu Dadu's home and worked long hours. On the first day of work, before dawn, Gu got up early and told him to work in the fields, but

After a long wait, Luo didn't come out, and then he shouted impatiently.

Luo said, "I got up early and was busy catching lice."

Gu Dadu said, "Nonsense, it's not dawn yet. Can you catch it in the dark? "

Luo asked, "since I can't catch lice, can I see it when I work in the fields early?"

Gu was mostly asked dumb.

Mere narration is not enough.

Luo works as a long-term worker in the miser valley. In order to make the long-term workers eat less vegetables, Gu Dadu always eats with the long-term workers.

Children chat and gossip. At dinner this day, Gu Dadu "narrated" the two emperors Guangxu and Daoguang.

Luo Zhu Lin said quickly, "Guangxu's grandfather is Daoguang. In my opinion, it is not good to just narrate (talk), but to pour (talk) light. "

All right! "Say that finish, pour all the food on the table into some long-term jobs.

Planting garlic

One day, Luo and several long-term workers were eating sorghum bread with old cabbage in front of the barn, but they heard the sound of a big belly in the kitchen room.

In the kitchen, he was frying sesame candy, and outside came the voice of Gu Dadu reprimanding his boy: "Eat in the house, don't go out, pawn!" "

The heart was exposed and bitten by a dog! "

Kind of garlic in the morning. Luo quietly told the long-term workers to plant the garlic cloves upside down.

A few days later, before the garlic sprout, I was anxious in the valley, so I dug on the ground. Pick one, see that it is head down, and then choose.

One, or head down, wants to settle accounts with Luo.

Luo Zhu Lin blinked and said, "Didn't you say that you were bitten by a dog when you emerged?" It dare not show its head. Is it afraid of dog bites? "

Half a penny

In the Qing Dynasty, the master of Zhijiang County heard that Du Lao was clever and funny, so he found him and said:

"The county magistrate wants to try your kung fu. Do you dare to go to court with this county? "

Du Laoyao said, "How dare you go on the road when you get Jingzhou House through a lawsuit and have no money?"

The county magistrate said, "Do you dare to take half a penny on the road? Well, who will give him half a penny! "

His men cut a penny in half. Du Laoyao took half a penny and left. Jingzhou Prefecture, Du Laoyao sued Zhijiang.

Princess: "As the parents of the people, it is really bold to ignore the king's law. If you break the treasure in half, you'll have to dismiss your official first! "

The black hat of the county magistrate was taken off at that time!

Dinner is correct.

Master Zhang is a scholar, and he is busy worshipping his ancestors at home. Master Zhang said to Du Laoyao, his helper, "Everyone says you are smart.

Let me give you a link-four books and five classics, interesting and interesting. "

Du Lao, who was squatting on the ground to eat, replied: "There is no oil or salt for three meals a day."

Master Zhang looked at the main hall: "Ten golden dragon pillars, ten small round beads, ten pairs of palace lanterns, ten red and ten green."

Du Laoyao shook the bowl and chopsticks: "A blue and white bowl, a big lack of chopsticks, a pair of chopsticks, one white and one black."

Master Zhang was angry: "Hum! Are those who eat and drink Laozi not satisfied? " Du Laoyao smiled and said, "Wow, let's drink to our ancestors.

Of course, there are too few ancestors! "

Who is the oldest?

On one occasion, Du Laoyao walked with county officials and businessmen. I am very hungry after a long journey. Passing by a family, there is

An old woman, there is only one bowl of rice left in the pot. The county official said, "This county is big, and this bowl of rice belongs to this county."

The businessman said, "You say you are big, then you say one, two, three!" " "

The magistrate said, "Let's talk about parents' mandarin-it depends on this word to judge right and wrong, and that's what long knowledge is."

Look at this word from top to bottom. Without my official word, you can't tell the size, this county is big! "

The merchant said, "I said a golden saying-you can't eat without it, and you can't wear without it." That's why officials are here. "

In a word, the word "respect me" means nothing to an official. I am big! "

Du Laoyao said, "I'm talking about a plowing Tian Zi-wood is the word (fruit), grass is the word (seedling), and wood is the branch.

Grass cover is a word (Guo), and no wood and no grass is a word (Tian). If I don't have this Tian Zi, those rich officials will starve to death! I

For the big one! "

The old woman gave the rice to Du Lao.

Six-ancestor couplet

During the Qianlong period, there was a man named Mai in Wuchuan City, Guangdong Province, nicknamed "Six Ancestors", who was famous for his humor.

One day, I went to the river to put geese. When four squires met, they suddenly touched the scene and gave birth to "poetry". One of them suggested taking geese as the theme.

Poetry, he first recited: "A flock of geese are swimming in the middle of the river."

Another squire shouted, "Goose male and goose female sing goose songs."

The other two couldn't get in touch after thinking for a long time. Uncle Gou said, "Gentlemen, let me finish writing this poem."

The four squires looked at the old goose herder and sneered, "Go, go, go to your goose ass!" " "

Cut the dog six dad ignored, long voice sing a way:

A flock of geese are swimming in the middle of the river, and the goose is singing a goose song.

Two squires have shit, two don't!

Don laughed at the old pedant.

There was an old gentleman in Ximen private school in Danyang in Qing Dynasty who liked to write poems. One day, the boy brought a bowl of porridge. He is not busy eating, but

Sing a "porridge poem":

Mio boiled a bowl of porridge, and the west wind blew thick waves;

Looking from a distance, it is like the water in the West Lake. Without fishermen, people cannot get away with it.

Scholar Tang happened to pass by the door and said with a smile, "Old man, are you still thin when you cook a bowl of porridge with an ounce of rice?" Your research

The door faces east. Where does the west wind come from? The West Lake is thousands of miles away from Danyang. Did you see it in the study? You said there was a shortage of fishermen to get out of trouble,

How to stand by and watch this bowl? "

The old pedant said, "Even if my poem doesn't work, how do you think this porridge poem should be written?"

Shang sings:

A few meters are boiled into a bowl of porridge, and the nose wind blows out two ditches;

It looks like a reunion mirror at close range, and I see Mr. Wang inside.

The old pedant is ashamed of himself.

Don't get off the donkey

A young man, riding a donkey to catch a temple fair, got lost. When he met Ugly Song, he shouted on the donkey's back, "Hey! Rush to the meeting

Where are you going? "

When Song's ugly son saw that he couldn't get off the donkey, he pretended not to hear. The young man shouted again, "Are you deaf?"

Ugly Song stopped him: "Don't take it to heart, I'm in a hurry-my donkey gave birth to a cow."

"Did the donkey come down from the cow? Why doesn't it get off the donkey? "

"ah! Young man, I didn't expect you to know how to get off a donkey. "

The young man realized that it was his fault.

Mailaozi

One day, Wei Guozhen passed by a teahouse and saw several rich people who had drunk tea. They refused to give them money and left.

Go in and say to them, "Hey, don't push me, I pushed you." Let me tell you a story. Will you give it after listening?

Money. "

Once upon a time, there were two fathers and sons, and the family was very rich. After his son got married, he

Separated. After a few years, I gradually spent almost all my money, but my son became richer and richer.

One day, Lao Tzu went to ask his son for money, but his son refused. Lao Tzu

I had to beg my son, "How about this? I will sell it to you! " "

When my son heard that he was going to sell a generation, he happily gave old A Zi a sum of money and bought a generation. From then on, they became brothers.

I spend money like water, and use it like running water. Not too much

For a long time, I was broke again. I had to run to my son again and say, "I'll sell it to you for another generation!" " "So, son again.

Gave old A Zi a sum of money.

From then on, Lao Zi became the son between them, and the son became Lao Zi.

Later, the patriarch went to the father and son, slapped his son twice and scolded him: "You rebellious son, what a scandal."

Really? "

The son said unconvinced, "What's wrong with this? I bought this old man with money, not stole it! "

The patriarch shouted, "Can I buy Laozi with money? If you buy it this way, the rich are unwilling to buy 900 Lao Zi.

Really? "

The son casually said, "If you have money, buy it. How can you care about me? "

The patriarch said helplessly, "Well, since you don't give Lao Zi money, keep the money to buy Lao Zi!" " "

Hearing this, a rich man suddenly shouted, "Oh, dear! We were scolded by Wei Guozhen again! " When the rich wake up

Come on, Wei Guozhen has walked out of the teahouse.

Xiaohei gift

The newly appointed county magistrate in Wen 'an County, Hebei Province, exploited the people in a more spicy way than the previous ones. Wang wants to play a trick on him.

One day, Wang Mai bought two biscuits for the magistrate's young master. He said, "Take them home quickly. If an adult wants to ask, just say it. "

Uncle Black bought it for me. "

When the county magistrate heard the child say this, he was furious: Where did Uncle Black come from? Obviously someone is making fun of me. After investigation, it was found that it belonged to Wang Gan.

I was about to send someone to arrest my official when the king came.

He carried a thin bamboo piece on his shoulder, and a small sand fruit hung at each end of the bamboo piece. After walking to the lobby, I didn't even say "bow". The magistrate ordered him to hit him.

40 boards The king lifted two sand fruits and said, "Wait a minute! Wang has a gift, you can't beat me! "

The magistrate asked, "How can I beat you?"

Wang Hei's novel: "Officials don't give gifts, dogs don't bite and shit. If you make an exception and hit me today, I'll give it to your family later.

Rituals, aren't they all plays? "

The county magistrate had to let Wang go.

Biguoguo

There was a rich man who ate as fat as a pig, and it was easy to raise slugs when he was free for a day. Wang caught a fruit and made a noise on purpose.

Compared with the organs of rich people.

The rich man was eating, looked at his mouth and said, "This slug can't bark, so why keep it?"

Wang looked at the dining tables and smiled slightly. "Although I can't scream, I can eat well!"

Heart is wrong

Once upon a time, there was a rich man named Hu Xintian. He had a bad heart and was stingy with the poor. One day I met Wen San and said, "Wen San, both of them."

Said we could talk about the past. Let's talk about it today "

Wen Sandao: "Good. Once upon a time, there was a family whose surname was ten and Yu. Ten surnames are too few for his own strokes, let alone "hundred"

There is no such name on the last name. He said to the surname Yu:' Your mouth is hanging, which is unnecessary. Give me that word.

If you are surnamed Gu, you can return all your surnames to the sect. I want to give him the words next to it. I'm still surnamed Yu. I'll answer.

Yes But the man was dissatisfied and said,' In-laws, I still have too few strokes in this ancient Chinese character. You can also give me the person of that month.

Me, let me be stupid! When Yu heard this, he was furious and said, "Are you going to dig up my bottom? You are really a sweetheart, aren't you?

Heads! "

Hu Xintian asked bored.

Eat with your left hand.

One day, a wise carpenter was working in a rich man's house. When eating, the rich man wanted to play a trick on him and deliberately put chopsticks on the left side of the bowl. Until/very

The clever carpenter took chopsticks in his left hand and ate slowly. Most of the time has passed, and he is still sitting on the table. The rich are in a hurry. The clever carpenter smiled.

"Excuse me, sir," he said. "My master never taught me to eat with my left hand."

Unload the plough.

On this day, Zhicong carpenters and apprentices were busy, and a rich man was in a hurry to load a plow. He said a good word for a long time, saying that he would kill the chicken to treat him.

Dear friends, the clever carpenter asked his disciples to install it. Who knows, when the rich man caught the chicken, he deliberately let it run away, and said that he would eat the meat and wait for the butcher who sold the chicken.

Husband passed by, and the rich man quickly hid in the back room. After a while, I came out and said, forget it. Just in time, the tofu seller came, the rich man.

I thought tofu was cheaper than duck eggs, so I bought him two pieces of tofu to eat. The apprentice was angry and didn't work hard when loading the plow.

A few days later, the rich man said to the carpenter Zhicong, "The apprentice you brought is really good! The plow is deep or shallow. "

Carpenter Zhicong said, "Master! My apprentice installed a chicken plow with duck egg tips on it, and the plow went in to hide from the butcher.

Scoop out duck eggs to make tofu. "