I was once said by a person. If you study metaphysics, you will have a high understanding and help many people, and you will be very successful. But I have never studied metaphysics, can't I?

Happy and win-win interpersonal relationship

1. Expectation and encouragement

Before you become a leader, success is only related to your own growth; When you become a leader, success is related to the growth of others.

2. Learn to think

The world is changed by human thinking, and it is human rational thinking that promotes human progress.

Upper personal growth training

As long as you start, you will be enthusiastic; If you keep doing it, you will succeed.

1. Type C life

Cars in the garage don't need gasoline in the fuel tank; People who have no goal to pursue do not need more vitality in their lives. Because the use goes into waste and retreats, there is no pursuit and no progress, and vitality will degenerate. Vitality is bred by goals and strong by pursuit.

2. Life begins with a clear and definite goal.

Diligence does not necessarily lead to achievement. Only hard work towards the goal can make you achieve success.

3. Only when you start, can you

take action, correct and try in the future. If something you try is useful, keep it, correct it if it is not, or try something else. Enterprises are gradually evolving species, so are people.

Life is like climbing a mountain. Without a start, you will never reach the top.

Fourth, learn through action

Only by learning through action can people make continuous progress and grow.

action learning method

1. Imitation

Imitating the successful person is the shortcut to success.

imitation is not simply copying, but imitating the principles and methods of successful people.

2. Reflection and inquiry

People make progress in questioning and grow in reflection.

the mental model of moving to the good is the key for a person to keep pace with the times and always succeed.

3. Talk in depth

Communicating, arguing and discussing with people is a sharp weapon to sharpen thoughts and a source of inspiration.

5. Proactive attitude towards life

1. Everyone is the architect of his own destiny

Most people are controlled by life, not life.

2. Positive thinking

Our life is not subject to the environment we encounter, but to the attitude we hold. We can't completely control everything that will happen in life, but we can decide how to think, believe, feel and face it. When we decide how to face it, we are doomed to what kind of life we will have.

3. Take the initiative

There is no such thing as a pie falling from the sky. Even if there is a pie falling from the sky, it doesn't necessarily fall on your head. Among a lot of people, those who are taller than you have an advantage. Only by jumping can you grab the pie. Therefore, being proactive is always the unchangeable rule for successful people.

6. Keep your mind open

1. Open to the outside world

A. Grasp the changes of trends

B. Dialectics of peaks and valleys

C. Think about the future

D. Stand high to see far

2. Open to the inner world

Wisdom is not proportional to the amount of experience.

The next tip

Let the world stand aside and let everyone who knows where they are going pass!

the philosophy of interpersonal communication: the law of opposition and unity.

1. Establish a good communication situation

1. Nature is charm

We like to be calm, generous and chic. Don't these wonderful words contain nature? In fact, whenever you act natural, you are attractive.

2. Think that others will really like you if they like you

This is not metaphysics, but a wonderful psychological law.

Second, eliminate the vigilance

1. Take the heart as the top

A. People's deep psychological activities

People's psychological activities can be divided into two levels. First, surface psychology, that is, psychological activities that can be openly exposed at any time to let everyone know; The second is the deep psychology, which is unwilling to be known by outsiders and is often concealed and disguised.

B. "Take the heart as the top priority" should be aimed at the deep psychology of the other party, and must not be deceived by the superficial words and attitudes of the other party.

2. The secret of seeing through people's hearts

A. Seeing through people's original intention

"Thinking every day, dreaming at night", language mistakes are just the things that are missed in the heart suddenly appear at the moment of vigilance relaxation, so it is often the truest portrayal of the heart.

B. Make people confide their true thoughts

Take the method of "surprise, attack by surprise", and ask a vague question casually and naturally, so that the other person can reveal his true colors without mental preparation.

C. Small things will expose you.

People often pay more attention to big things and will cover them up and disguise them; And some small "signs" or "clues", because they have not attracted attention psychologically, are often the disclosure of their true selves.

D. Measuring psychological distance with actual distance

People often use actual distance to express their psychological resistance to each other. The closer you sit, the more harmonious you are psychologically, and the farther you sit, the more resistant you are psychologically.

3. Ways to eliminate vigilance

1. Sincerity can eliminate vigilance

If you can convince yourself, you can convince others

2. Act as if nothing has happened, and create accidental situations

If you want to guard against the future, you should try to act as if nothing has happened and create accidental situations, so that the other party will think that your expectations are not urgent and accidental.

a. Keep relaxed and calm

Don't show excessive eagerness, and let others know that you are actually drooling over what you want.

B. Use the influence of a third party

To make your thoughts slip into the subconscious as unnoticed as possible, let others inadvertently touch your thoughts. Passing your thoughts through a third party is the easiest way to make the other party feel that something happens by accident, so they are not wary.

3. Take a step back and get rid of the fear

Fear often comes from the psychological pressure of the other party: I don't know your purpose, and I am afraid of being cheated. To get rid of the guard, it is necessary to reduce the psychological pressure of the other party, and retreating is the best strategy.

a. Take a low profile

Keeping a low profile properly will not only help to eliminate the vigilance of others, but also help to communicate with others.

B. Encourage the other person to speak enthusiastically

To promote emotional communication, we should encourage the other person to speak enthusiastically, so that the other person can eliminate his vigilance in natural speech.

C. Stand on the same line with the other party for the time being

When the other party doesn't trust you and resolutely opposes you, the way of beating the other party with words can't work in essence. People's psychology has a kind of inertia, and it is impossible to overturn their original views immediately. If you push too hard, the two sides are likely to completely collapse, thus putting an end to all your opportunities. Therefore, at this time, we should give up the logical persuasion method, temporarily agree with the other side's point of view, express understanding, and then see you again for a side attack.

D. Put forward an acceptable purpose for the other party first

Look for the weakest link of the other party and try to make a little breakthrough, and then the whole other party will collapse. Skills of making big demands

Skills of making small demands

E. Don't insist on winning 1%.

Smart people always make concessions in some minor places to make the other side feel victorious psychologically, so it is easier to make the other side make concessions in big ways.

F. Give others a choice range

Give others a choice range for psychological induction

Fourth, the way to trigger a conversation

1. Remove psychological obstacles and make your tongue voluntary movement

2. Don't imagine that every sentence is shining

3. Trigger a conversation with the other party

4. Find the same hobbies between the two sides

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2. Show sincere concern for others

Undoubtedly, people are most concerned about themselves. Therefore, if you want to win the friendship of others, you must show sincere concern for others.

3. Patients are most likely to remember other people's concerns

It doesn't matter whether you visit others or not at ordinary times, but you must visit others when they are ill. One visit during illness can be worth ten visits at ordinary times.

4. Enthusiasm is contagious

Enthusiasm is more contagious than measles. When you treat others with enthusiasm, others will become enthusiastic.

5. Remember the important anniversaries of important people

6. Skills of connecting feelings

1. Eliminating emotional "severance"

"severance" does not stem from the lack of emotional communication, but from the unsatisfied desire for such communication.

2. Looking for * * * similarities

Psychological research shows that people tend to have a good impression on people with the same social background and attitude.

3. Make good use of slang, jargon and buzzwords

Almost everyone has their own favorite words or intonation. As long as they hear these characteristic words, they will immediately produce * * * sounds, which will immediately disintegrate the psychological armed forces.

4. Show a strong human touch

Psychological research shows that people who are liked by the public should be different in material aspects, that is, superior in intelligence and appearance; The second is to seek common ground in mood, that is, to have something in common with the public in mood and have a deep human touch.

5. Give others some special treatment

Emotionally, people want others to value themselves and treat themselves differently. Therefore, when you give others something different from ordinary people, a little more benefits, so that he feels special words and behaviors, it will cause the other person's goodwill.

6. Tell some secrets to others

Everyone likes secret things. Knowing something that others don't know is the happiest thing.

VII. The Power of Praise

1. Praise and appreciation is to satisfy others' human hunger and thirst, and it is an act of charity.

people's need for respect is the hunger and thirst in the depths of human nature.

2. Sincere praise and appreciation are the best motivation to inspire people.

Praise is like sunshine to the human soul, without which people can't "blossom and bear fruit".

3. Sincere praise and appreciation is a wonderful interpersonal skill.

Psychological theory tells us that everyone has a tendency to only know the facts that are beneficial to himself. That is, cognitive defense psychology.

Since everyone has a tendency to look on their own good side subconsciously, if we want to win the friendship of others, we must be good at expressing sincere praise and appreciation.

4. The key to the effectiveness of praise is to make people feel that praise comes from the heart.

A. Be a beautiful discoverer.

B. Dig up the unobvious advantages and praise them.

C. When you expect least, thank others.

D. Praise actions and character rather than yourself.

VIII. Ways of praise

1. When asking for help, smile, others can hardly refuse your request; When thanking others, smile, and others will receive your gratitude doubly; When you are depressed, smiling will relieve your troubles; When you are happy, smiling will make you happier.

2. Remember other people's names

A person's name is a very sweet and important voice in the language for him. Everyone takes names seriously.

3. Be a good listener

Listening to people is a kind of suggestive compliment to them, and few people can stand the suggestive compliment given by others.

4. Praise the smallest progress, and every progress

People need to be induced and encouraged bit by bit. Please praise the smallest progress of others! But also praise every progress.

5. Sincerely ask the other person for a favor

Everyone wants others to think that they are important. Asking someone for a favor skillfully can make him feel important, which is actually a compliment to him.

Nine, the skills of criticism

1. Don't criticize, blame and complain unnecessarily

Criticism has only one purpose: to help others make progress.

But often most of our criticisms are not aimed at helping others. Sometimes it is used to vent anger and dissatisfaction, sometimes it is just to complain, and sometimes it is even to raise yourself by scolding others. This kind of criticism is one of the common failures in interpersonal relationships.

2. Be good at understanding and understanding others, and be tolerant.

Don't criticize others easily, but try to understand them and understand why they do it, which is more beneficial and meaningful than criticism and reprimand. When we really get to know others, we often find that they are worthy of forgiveness and sympathy, so that we will have more self-control.

3. An effective way to criticize without causing disgust: let the other person know that your criticism is for his own good

If you have to pull out a tooth, it is very painful, then the doctor will give you an injection of anesthetic, and the tooth will still be pulled out, but the anesthetic can eliminate the pain. In the same way, criticism is also a painful thing, and praise is an anesthetic. Praise helps to establish communication in a friendly atmosphere, making the other party realize that we are not attacking his ego and making him feel more at ease.

1. methods of criticism

1. if you have to find fault, start with praise and sincere gratitude

if you have to pull out a tooth, it is very painful, then the doctor will give you an injection of anesthetic, and the tooth will still be pulled out, but the anesthetic can eliminate the pain. In the same way, criticism is also a painful thing, and praise is an anesthetic. Praise helps to establish communication in a friendly atmosphere, making the other party realize that we are not attacking his ego and making him feel more at ease.

2. Indirectly remind others of their mistakes

Accusing others face to face sometimes only leads to stubborn resistance; And subtly suggesting that the other party pays attention to their mistakes often makes us loved.

3. Humorous criticism can dissolve hostility

Humorous criticism is an important method in indirect criticism, which seems to be a joke, but in fact it hides mystery.

4. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing others

If a person admits modestly from the beginning that he is not impeccable, it may not be so hard to hear him judge your mistakes again.

5. Use "suggestions" instead of "orders"

Requests always bring more cooperation than demands. When we ask, we make others play the role of slaves, and we ourselves become slaves. When we requested it, we put him in the role of collaborative member, and he was our collaborator.

6. Let others save face

Saving others' face is not only an art of criticism, but also shows that we can be human.

A. Criticism must be conducted completely in private

B. Criticism has nothing to do with people, criticizing actions instead of people

C. One mistake and one criticism

D. Ending in a friendly way

XI. Ways to win an argument

1. The only secret to winning from an argument is to avoid an argument

No one can win.