I want to see a cold joke

The men's and women's toilets in the school are connected. A girl forgot to bring toilet paper to the toilet. When she was embarrassed, toilet paper came from the men's room next door. The girl turned pale and asked loudly, "Who?" . The boy next door replied with a deep and powerful voice: "Lei Feng."

2、

The doctor asked the patient how he broke his bone. The patient said, I felt sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes with a telephone pole. A fucking asshole passed by and thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a stick and gave me two!

3、

In biology class, the teacher asked: How can we correctly distinguish the hands and feet of an octopus? Answer: Give it a fart to smell. Is the hand will cover your nose, and the rest is your feet. The whole class fell down.

4、

A person always farts at work, and colleagues can't help but say, can you be quiet? Then I saw him sitting there trembling. Colleagues asked him what he was doing, and he replied, I am tuned to vibration now!

5、

Someone was riding a bicycle when he heard a passerby shouting: go, go, go ... I thought, damn it, I can sing: Ole Ole Oh ... I jumped into the ditch without saying a word. Passers-by scolded: Shit! Let me tell you something, Gou Gou, do you still ride horses? ! You deserve to fall to death!

6、

Carp and tortoise go to get a marriage certificate. The clerk asked how old the tortoise was, and the tortoise said: 100. The clerk said regretfully, I'm sorry, according to your family rules, you are underage and are not allowed to get married.

7、

A couple came to the wishing pool. The husband bent down, made a wish and threw a coin into the well. My wife also wanted to make a wish, but when she bent down, she accidentally fell into the well. The husband was surprised, then smiled and said to himself, "What a fucking spirit!" "

8、

A couple are fishing by the river. The lady always quarreled, and after a while the fish took the bait. The lady said, this fish is really poor. The husband said, yes, just shut up.

9、

The science teacher asked, "Why is the body cold after death?" No one answered. The teacher asked again, "Nobody knows?" At this time, someone at the back of the classroom said, "That's because it's calm and naturally cold."

10、

Spiders love ants deeply, but they are rejected when they express their love. The spider shouted, "Why? Why is this? " The ant said timidly, "My mother said that people who surf the Internet all day are not good people!" " "

1 1、

Xiaoguang is a diligent student. He worked part-time during the winter vacation to earn tuition. Help the butcher cut meat during the day and go to the hospital for internship at night. One night, an old woman had to undergo surgery because of an emergency, and Xiaoguang pushed her into the operating room. The old woman screamed in panic: "My God! You are a pig killer. Where are you pushing me?

12、

When a person just got on the plane and wanted to throw up, the stewardess took an empty bag and went to get it when it was almost full, telling him not to throw up. When I came back, I found it everywhere. I asked why, and replied, "I saw it was almost full, and I took another sip, and everyone around me vomited ..."

13、

Yesterday, I received a short message from a swindler asking me to remit money to an account of Agricultural Bank of China.

Half an hour later, I replied conveniently: 5000 yuan has been deposited, please check it.

I received a reply today: "I have been to the bank three times, and I haven't received your money, you liar!" "

14、

The king of a country chose his husband, pulled a cow to the river and said, whoever can make the cow nod first and then jump into the river, I will marry the princess to him.

A butcher went up to the cow and said, isn't it great? The cow nodded.

The butcher said again, do you know me? The cow shook her head.

The butcher stabbed the cow's ass, and the cow jumped into the river in pain.

The king thought the butcher was rude, so the butcher asked to try again and the king agreed. The cow was pulled to the river again.

The butcher stepped forward and said to the cow; Do you know me? The cow nodded.

The butcher said again, can't you return Niu B? The cow shook her head.

The butcher said with a smile; Do you know what to do? The cow turned and jumped into the river.