Jokes about Children’s Day (a little longer)

Two people, a man and a woman, suddenly died in a pool. How exactly they died is still under investigation by the police. In the dead of night, Fangfang's mother and Fangfang were walking on this road. Fangfang's mother looked back from time to time, feeling scared at times. At this time, Fangfang suddenly said something, which scared her mother: "Mom, look there are two people up there." "The kid is talking nonsense, let's go, go quickly." Her mother quickly pulled her away. This matter spread from ten to ten, and many people knew about it. The reporter came to Fangfang's home: "Fangfang, you said you saw two people there last time, is that true?" the reporter asked Fangfang. "It's true." She said seriously. "Okay, you take me there." The reporter asked Fangfang to take him there. When she got there, Fangfang pointed to the telephone pole and said, "Look, there are two people." It said: "Take care of public property, everyone has their own rules." I was in physical education class in junior high school, and I was sick that day. I was the sports committee member, so let everyone After lining up, I originally wanted to give the leave request slip to the physical education teacher, but it turned out to be a dime note. Before I could react, I said "I'm asking for leave." On a dark and windy night, On the longest and scariest road, a taxi driver passed by and a woman waved her way into the car. It was quiet until the woman spoke and said to the driver: "Apple." It's for you, it's delicious..." The driver thought it was great, so he took it and took a bite. The woman asked, "Is it delicious? The driver said: "It's delicious!" "The woman replied again: "I remember I also liked eating apples when I was alive..." Wow...&*$#@... When the driver heard this, he was so frightened that he rushed the car and turned pale... I saw that The woman slowly tilted her head forward and said to the driver: "But I didn't like eating it after giving birth! ..." Two people, A and B, were on a plane, but something went wrong and they landed on a desert island. The cannibal chief on the desert island said: "You each bring 100 of the same fruit and I let you go! ! ! After a while, A brought 100 strawberries first. Chief: "Put them all into your nose and let you go!" ! ! "A started stuffing... 98 stuffed, nothing happened... When he stuffed 99, he laughed "hehe..." and all the strawberries spurted out... A was killed by the chief... … When they arrived in heaven, the angel asked A: “You are only one step away from death, but why are you smiling? "A said: "Because I saw B bringing back 100 durians. "There were two people who were brothers, one named Haha and the other named Heehee. One day, Haha died, and Heehee cried out sadly: "Haha, you are dead, haha! Ha ha! ". Once upon a time, a man named "Shuang" died. His family cried sadly and shouted "Shuang" and "Shuang". Others looked strange and asked, "Why are you crying and shouting "Shuang" at the same time? ? "His family said, "It's so cool" and "It's so cool!" It was said that a county magistrate with a heavy accent came to the village to make a report: "Rabbits, shrimps, pig tails! No pickles, pickles are too expensive! ! " (Translation: Comrades and villagers, please pay attention! Don't talk, it's a meeting now!!) After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said: "Pickles, sausages and pickles! " (Translation: Let the township chief speak now!) The township chief said: "Rabbits, the dog has eaten today's meal, everyone is a big bastard! " (Translation: Comrades, today's meal is enough. Let's all use big bowls!) "No pickles, I'll pick up some dog poop for you to lick. . . " (Translation: Don't talk, let me tell you a story...) It is said that once Zhuge Liang, Liu Bei, Sun Quan, and Cao Cao were on a plane together. Suddenly they encountered an emergency and needed to parachute to escape. Only then did they realize that they were on the plane. There were only three parachute bags left. Everyone was nervous for a while. At this time, Zhuge Liang shook his feather fan and cleared his throat and said, "Let's do this. The mountain man will ask a few questions. Those who can answer them will parachute. Those who can't answer them will parachute." I had no choice but to jump down by myself." The others had no choice but to agree. Zhuge Liang shook his feather fan again and asked Liu Bei: "How many suns are there in the sky? Liu Bei thought briefly and replied: "One." So he took an umbrella and went down. Zhuge Liang asked Sun Quan again: "How many moons are there in the sky?" Sun Quan replied: "One." " He also took an umbrella and went down. Finally it was Cao Cao's turn. Zhuge Liang asked: "How many stars are there in the sky? "Cao Cao was stunned. He was too confused to answer, so he had to jump in. Unexpectedly, he jumped into the sea and saved his life. Cao Cao was secretly grateful. The second time another four people encountered an emergency on a plane, four people After some discussion, Zhuge Liang waved his feather fan and asked Liu Bei: "What was the battle in which King Wu of Zhou defeated King Chu?" Liu Bei thought briefly and replied: "The Battle of Muye."

Zhuge Liang nodded, so Liu Bei took an umbrella and went down. Zhuge Liang asked Sun Quan again: "How many people died in that battle?" Sun Quan thought for a moment and said, "About thirty or forty thousand." "Zhuge nodded, and Sun Quan took an umbrella bag and went down. Cao Cao couldn't help but snickered and thought: "Zhuge Liang, Zhuge Liang, I know everything about ancient times and the present, especially military affairs, but you failed this time, haha! " Zhuge Liang asked: "What are their names? "Cao Cao almost fainted when he heard this, so he had to jump in. Unexpectedly, he jumped into the sea again and saved his life. Cao Cao laughed to himself: "md, I am very lucky, let's see what you, old man Zhuge, can do to me? ! "The third time the same four people took a plane, the plane encountered another emergency. Cao Cao thought, Old Man Zhuge was going to tease me again, so I might as well just jump off myself to avoid being insulted. So he jumped out of his mind and got there. During the high-speed descent in the air, I could only hear Zhuge Liang's laughter from above: "Cao Cao, Cao Cao, if you are ever so smart, haha, there are four parachutes on the plane today!" Cao Cao fainted with a "Ah---" sound.