Joke 30: Sister, are you in the wrong room or am I wrong?

1, "What are you doing?" "I am taking a selfie!" "selfie? Are you taking pictures? Bring the phone! " "I'm really taking a selfie, you misunderstood." "Take your mobile phone, I'll check it. Call someone if you don't give it to me! Hurry up! " "All right ... all right!" "You are a dead pervert! What kind of selfie do you take with the iPhone calculator? "

I remember skipping classes every day and playing games in the dormitory when I was in college. Now I have been in the society for several years after graduation. I just want to say that if I were given another chance, I would never skip class and play games. I must skip class to find my daughter-in-law, because after graduation, you will either be the seven eccentrics in Jiangnan or Dong Fangbubai. ...

3. I met a girlfriend today and asked, "Why don't you have any homework?" The buddy replied, "Oh, a high school student tried to hit me this morning. I took out an exercise book and put it in front of him. I escaped and my homework was killed. " After that, I cried twice Leave me alone in the wind.

I went out to take out the garbage last night and saw the door opposite my neighbor was half open. The Chinese New Year is coming, so it's not safe. I kindly closed the door. Hey, man, you're smoking in the safe passage. What? A man doesn't have a key at home. Don't do it, I'll pay for the lock, and we'll change the lock with the highest anti-theft level!

5. Wife: "We will respect each other in the future. I won't swear, so don't hit people, okay? " Husband: "I agree. If you curse again, I'll kill you! " The wife is angry: "Bastard, don't you dare!" "

6. A man found a bug while eating an apple, but he only ate half of it. He said happily, nothing. I'll eat it all, won't I?

7. A male colleague went out at noon yesterday without his mobile phone. His wife keeps calling. The female colleague who took a nap was annoyed by the noise and shouted with her mobile phone: "We are sleeping, are you bored!" As a result, my male colleague did not come to work today.

8. My daughter didn't do well in this exam, and she was unhappy when she came home. Instead of criticizing, I encouraged her: "This exam is not bad, not very good. However, as long as you are willing to study hard, you will do well in the next exam, ranking first in the class and squeezing into the top 8 of the whole grade. " My daughter looked at me and was silent. I smiled: "What, no confidence?" The daughter pouted: "It's not that I don't have confidence, it's that I know myself."

9. Stay with my friend today and let him press his fingerprints. There was no inkpad. This buddy directly smashed the acne on his face, directly pressed his handprint with blood, and left indifferently, leaving a room full of people in shock.

10, I'm in Shenzhen on business, so I'll go to the bar if I have nothing to do. I got drunk in the middle of the night and went back to the hotel. I fell into bed in a daze. A few minutes later, a trembling voice came from the bed: "Sister, sister, are you in the wrong room or am I in the wrong room?" . . "