A joke that never dies.

1. There is definitely no shortage of such people around you. Wise after the event is like raising pigs beforehand.

Brother, I smoke loneliness, not cigarettes. Cigarettes are so expensive? Can't afford it!

I spent my whole life looking back on my youth and doubting my life.

4. If you choose to look up at others at 45 degrees, you will blame others 135 degrees to look down at you.

Obeying traffic rules will be killed by a speeding wheel, not to mention not obeying traffic rules. Don't use your stupid behavior to verify your good luck.

6. Well, boss, you can't press ctrl+C on your home computer and ctrl+V on your company computer, even if it's the same article, even if it's an expensive computer.

7. I thought I was a flower on the shore, but later I realized that I was just a scum in the sea of people.

8. Things can be done, but cows have to brag. Don't blow, you will suffer. Blow and eat.

9. Women are used to spoil, and men are used to smoke. (Guess whether Bian Xiao is a man or a woman, hehe)

10. Two consequences of making daughter-in-law angry: Do you want to die? Still don't want to live.

1 1. When we were young, we treated toys as friends, and when we grew up, our friends treated us as toys. (come out to mix, you have to pay it back sooner or later. )

12. I not only have a car, but also a panoramic skylight, which can accelerate infinitely, be green, or do it yourself. ...

13. My girlfriend asks me every day when I will get married, and I verbally say wait. I thought to myself, in order to avoid domestic violence, I will not get married.

14. When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me.

15. The story of Meng Mu moving three times actually shows that she has a good son. If it were me, it would be useless for my mother to move 100 times.

16. Mom, I can't find my tie again. Didn't you find a rag yesterday?

17. Money is not everything, and sometimes you need a credit card.

18. If the good medicine tastes bitter, then the food in our canteen will surely cure all diseases.

19. The most classic name of the university canteen is: carrot skin fried with carrot meat.

20. Tucao is used to count money, not to make sense.

2 1. I drown my sorrows in wine, but I learned to swim in this damn pain.

22. Many people say that marriage is the grave of love, but love that can be buried underground is better than a corpse in the street.

23. A woman without virtue is a talented person. I must be too evil.

24. I have gained weight recently, and I can touch the hang-up button by making a phone call and smiling.

25. The most mysterious department in history: related departments.

26. My wife has an explanation when she goes out: drink less, eat more vegetables, can't stand it, stand up, be respected, play tricks, can't eat, and get it back.

27. It's not your fault that you are ugly. Scaring people is your fault. At least you made up when you came out!

28. why is it so dark Because cows are flying in the sky? Why do cows fly in the sky? Because you blow on the ground?

29. This morning in spring, I woke up relaxed and happy. There were mosquito bites and dichlorvos everywhere. I don't know how many people died. (Bian Xiao asks for horizontal approval)

A man committed suicide by throwing himself into the river in Shanghai, but he climbed back because the river was dirty.

3 1. I can't stand the behavior of leaders. I have no choice but to endure it again.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. If you want to be a hermit, try changing garlic.