Joke Xiaomi Li

Too many, I can't copy them all for you. There is a word limit for answering here. Look at this website, Baidu, Google, Soso and Soso jokes rank first: there are many. Of course, I can also list some for you. I hope you can be satisfied! 1. It is said that the origin of cold jokes is such a story: a little penguin asked his grandmother one day, "Grandma, am I a penguin?" "Yes, of course you are a penguin." The little penguin asks his father again, "Dad, Dad, am I a penguin?" "Yes, you are a penguin. What's wrong? " "But, but why do I feel so cold?" 2. A child cried, and his father said, "Don't cry for a while." Dad takes you to the vegetable market to watch others eat sugar. A black cat saved a white cat from the river. Do you know what the white cat said to the black cat later? It says: "aim ~ ~" 4. When my friend Li Shansi and I just moved, there was no TV at home, which was very boring. Let's pretend that there is a TV set on the desk, and then we can change the channel by pretending that we have a remote control. This son of a bitch keeps changing channels. I told him, but he wouldn't listen. Then we started fighting. 5. A mouse is hungry. He went to McDonald's and ordered countless extra-large packages. After eating, he felt a little hungry, so he ate another French fries. As a result, he swelled to death. 6. A penguin had nothing to do and pulled himself out. He said, it's really cold. Sequel: There is a polar bear, doing nothing. He grabbed his hair and pulled it out. He said: Penguins are right. 7. Once upon a time, there was a bean paste bag, which was squeezed by something and the bean paste flowed out. Then he said: Ah! ! It turns out that my stomach is red bean paste! ! 8. Once upon a time, there was a marshmallow that went to play ball for a long time. He said, "I am so tired that I feel soft all over." 9. Two tomatoes crossed the road and a car sped by. One of them couldn't escape being squashed, and the other tomato pointed to the squashed tomato and laughed: dig hahaha, ketchup ... 1.5 yuan was kidnapped by a criminal gang. Fight. Your son is here, if you don't want us to kill the ticket, you can exchange yourself for him! "The hundred-dollar bill thought for a moment and said," Tear it up, you won't even have five dollars! ""2. Fat got a girlfriend and broke up in less than a week. When a friend asked why, Pang said, "She said … she felt so tired after seeing me for a long time …". After Fat fell in love, his mother was very anxious and took him to see a psychiatrist. "Doctor, my son always has suicidal tendencies after being lovelorn. Please help him quickly. " The doctor asked, "Do you want to commit suicide?" The fat man said, "No … I just feel hungry when I look in the mirror recently …" 4. Pig: "Chicken, why don't you take a bath?" It stinks more than me. " Chicken: "Mom won't let me wash it." Pig: "Why?" Chicken: "Mom says it's dirty to rub yourself back and forth in the shower." 5. Piglet and his mother go to a restaurant for dinner. Piglet wanted to eat "braised pork intestines" and was scolded by her mother. "Are you sick? Eat your own water? -Waiter, let's eat steamed buns! " "What kind of stuffing do you want?" "Pork and green onions." 6. The dung beetle family went to the countryside for a picnic. Dung beetles's mother asked, "Honey, did you bring food?" "What to eat, don't you see cows all around? Let's go there and wait. " As a result, the dung beetles family drowned. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. Can I not go to school? " Big plum: "What's the matter?" Xiao Huamei: "I feel so sore all over, really." 8. A man was starving in the desert when he found the magic lamp. Magic lamp: "I can only realize your one wish." Hurry up, I'm in a hurry. " Man: "I want a wife ..." The magic lamp immediately conjured up a beautiful woman, and then disdained to say: "I am starving and covet beauty! Pathetic! " Then he disappeared. Man: "... cake." 9. The earthworm family was bored this day, so the little earthworm cut himself in two to play badminton. Mother earthworm thinks this method is good, so she cuts herself into four pieces to play mahjong. Father earthworm thought about it and cut himself into minced meat. Mother earthworm cried and said, "Why are you so stupid?" You will die if you cut so hard! Father earthworm said weakly. ... I suddenly want to play football. "10. The camera and the mirror mm are in love. Mirror mm said, "I'm so sad. I've been photographed all my life, but I don't know what I look like. The camera said, "Never mind, why don't I take your picture?" ................ mirror mm: "5555 ~ ~ Why are you still in the photo ..." 1 1. Mom A: "Your mouth stinks! What did you eat? "Moth B:" I accidentally climbed into the pile of socks. 12. A hundred-dollar bill gave a big red envelope to my son's five-dollar wallet during the Spring Festival. The five-dollar bill opened the red envelope with joy and found that it was his mother. 13. After the earthworm's father was injured, he was lying in the hospital, covered in bandages. Mother earthworm is responsible for feeding her father every day. Mother earthworm has been worried that her father won't eat. The wet nurse suggested opening her mouth and pouring it in. Mother earthworm did. After leaving the hospital, earthworm's father said, "This hospital is really terrible. It doesn't give food or enema every day! ""14. The panda man tried to rape the panda woman, and the panda woman struggled and swore to death. Panda Man said angrily after the failure: "We are all going extinct ~ ~ ~!" 15. Tofu mother came to the kindergarten to pick up the children and chat with the teacher. The teacher asked, "Mrs. Tofu, do you like hot pot?" "I like it very much!" "That's great! Actually ... when playing hide-and-seek in the afternoon, your child hid in the refrigerator. " 16. Xiaomi: "Mom, I'm hungry!" Mi's mother: "lovely, dad can't find a job and there is no food at home." Xiaomi: "But I'm hungry ~ ~ ~" Mi's mother: "Alas ... well, you can borrow some pickles next door and I'll cook bath water for your father." 17. On this day, a lovely little girl came to Kannonji to burn incense for her mother. Put your hands together and you can't kneel for a long time. Suddenly, she looked up with tears in her eyes. Her pious prayers touched Guanyin Bodhisattva: "What a filial child! Crane ... ""Yes, Bodhisattva. " The next day, the little girl's mother began to grow a beard. Because, the little girl said, ..................., ...................... and ........................, "Mom wants a little brother." 18. A patient went to see his psychiatrist and said, "Doctor, think about my situation. My best friend ran away with my wife. They have been gone for more than a month. I feel terrible because I miss my friends. " 19. The son said to his father, Dad, do you love me? Dad said, sure, any questions? The son said, can you divorce your mother and marry the aunt who sells candy next door?