The awakening of a middle-aged man: If you don't treat your wife as a "relative", the relationship between husband and wife will be better. What do you think?

Not long ago, a close friend sent me a message saying that she was desperate for marriage. In fact, her marriage with her husband is ok to outsiders. Her husband is good at making money and has a good temper. There is nothing to see. They also have a lovely and sensible son, in the fifth grade of primary school. This is already very happy for ordinary people, but friends just think that their marriage is unhappy.

She said that in those years after her marriage, she carried a lot of things by herself and didn't worry about her husband's family affairs at all. He can really make money and make them worry about food and clothing, but he only knows how to make money, and besides, he doesn't care about things at home.

She still remembers the earthquake, when her husband was away on a business trip, and she squatted in the corner of the living room with her child in her arms, waiting for "death". Fortunately, the earthquake has only a magnitude of 3, which has no impact on the local area, but her fear of disaster is no less than 8.

I have read the reports about the disaster, so when she is really in danger, she longs for someone around to give him support and strength, but when she needs him most, he is not there.

afterwards, my husband just casually called to say hello. However, all he cares about is whether there is enough money to spend at home, whether the child is good at school, and whether she is lonely and helpless.

She said that if the child was not too young to live without her, maybe she would choose a divorce. This kind of life is really meaningless. Marriage is like two people doing business together, just like completing a task, with a clear division of labor and no feelings.

she told her husband what she thought, and he said inexplicably, isn't that what marriage is all about? Isn't the purpose of marriage to live a stable life, earn more money and make life better and better? What's wrong with him making money to support his family? He wants to earn money to support his family, and women should try their best to take care of the family. He doesn't know what she is not satisfied with.

She said that she needed some warmth, for example, he was very attentive to her. Her husband said inexplicably, after so many years of marriage, aren't we all like relatives? Why do you have to pay attention to these details?

old couples don't need to maintain their relationship? In fact, even if you know each other very well, you can't really treat each other as relatives. We can't treat the other half as casually as we treat our relatives. We always take the contribution of our loved ones for granted, because our loved ones don't care about giving and returning with you, but lovers are different. Even the best feelings need to be calculated.

Many people want to give everything to each other when they are in love, but after marriage, the temperature of love gradually cools down. When they touch each other's hands like their left hands touch their right hands, they will naturally regard each other as relatives.

If a man really regards his wife as a relative, he will demand more and more from her and take her for granted.

Just like the couple I mentioned above, a woman spends all her beautiful years running a family and taking care of children. She spends all her time in her small home, but she never gets a word of comfort and pain from her husband, who takes it for granted that she takes care of her family. Even if she pays more, he will not appreciate it, but thinks it is the most difficult to earn money to support his family.

There are more and more demands on women, and they are more and more ungrateful. They seldom or never care for their feelings. So, how long can the only love between two people last their marriage before marriage? Love is weak, and marriage should be red.

Many middle-aged divorced couples have lost confidence in each other, their efforts have not been reciprocated, and their feelings have become like stagnant water without any surprises or excitement.

In the novel Fortress Besieged, Mr. Qian Zhongshu compares marriage to a grave. Some people say that marriage is the grave of love. If you want to keep a long-term relationship with someone, never get married, because marriage will mercilessly kill love. However, in France, there is also a popular saying: there is paradise everywhere with your lover. In other words, being with the person you love is the best thing in the world.

why do some people get married like in the grave, while others get married like in heaven? I think people have different attitudes towards marriage and partners.

the same person, the same thing, how you treat it, it will treat you. The French are famous for their romance. They are not only romantic before marriage, but also romantic after marriage. The key to romance is that although they are married, they are not bound and will not take each other's efforts for granted.

That is to say, no matter what the relationship between two people is, they are two independent individuals. No one owes anyone anything, and no one has any reason to ask the other party to do anything. They will always remain relatively independent.

with distance, everything is not taken for granted, but the relationship between giving and returning. If you want more, you must pay more first, and the other party can pay willingly. Therefore, after the French get married, there will still be dates, candlelight dinners, carefully prepared gifts for their partners, etc., all of which are emotional maintenance.

In fact, long-term love is not without, but we all forget to manage with our heart. If two people can spend more time on each other after marriage, create more surprises, be grateful and cherish more, then the state of marriage will naturally be very different.

I remember a joke like this: ask a man which day is the happiest day in his life, and the man replied, on his wedding day, ask him which day is the most unfortunate day in his life, and every day after that, the man replied like this.

Although this is a joke, it is enough to show that if a person doesn't know how to maintain marriage, then marriage will really drag you from heaven to hell. You can't blame others. At least you don't know how to maintain a marriage, and you should bear half the responsibility for it.

A really good marriage will never regret, and will be willing to pay for each other, because we get what we want from each other, so we will be willing.

Li Bihua, a Hong Kong writer, once said: A woman needs a lot of love to be willing to stand by and do the dishes in the kitchen.

Yes, what kind of heart does a man have to make a woman so willing to give you her whole life? I think, as a man, I should be very clear in my heart that my partner is never a relative, and I can never take it for granted like asking my relatives, but I should know how to respect and love each other.