10 jokes

1. The tortoise is hurt, so let the snail buy medicine. Two hours later, the snail didn't come back. The tortoise scolded, "I won't fucking come back, I'm going to die!" " At this time, a voice came from outside the door: "Shit, I won't go again!" "

If your ears itch, it means I miss you.

If your eyes itch, it means I want to see you.

If your mouth itches, it means I want to kiss you.

If you are itchy all over, don't be afraid, it's time to take a bath! ! ! Hahaha! ! !

3. One day, the underworld boss asked you: 1 plus 1 what is it? You wondered, hesitated for a long time and said: equal to 2. The boss took out his gun and killed you with a bang. The boss blew a cigarette at the gun and said, you know too much ~

A bitch jumped on you, bit off a piece of meat from your foot and swallowed it quickly. You put out your foot and were about to kick it. The dog said tearfully, "Go ahead, I have your flesh and blood in my belly anyway!" "

5. A puppy climbed onto the dining table and rubbed against a roast chicken. The shopkeeper was furious and said, I'll do whatever you dare to do to that roast chicken. The dog licked the chicken's ass. The master fainted. The puppy said happily, look who's good!

6. The cat is forced by life to sit in the hair salon run by the fox. One day, the mouse came to the hair salon to call the roll to keep the cat overnight. The cat swore that the mouse was furious: I chased him to death at the beginning, and now he is still a prude!

5. In the senior one exam, the teacher handed out papers, and the girl at the back took one more, shouting "Teacher, I have it, I have it".

As a result, the boy sitting next to me said, "It's mine, it's mine", and the whole class laughed wildly.

We have known each other for so long that you and I both know your place in my heart. Life is like a dream, and the years pass. You know, in the vast sea of people, others are just an onion to me, but you are different, you are two!

7. stop learning; It's too difficult! Make tofu! Tofu is the safest;

The hard thing to do is dried tofu!

Thin is tofu brain!

Thin is tofu skin!

No, soybean milk!

If it can't be sold, it can also be used as stinky tofu!

I love you. What is the sum of "one business life" and "ten business lives"? ! ! !

The result is (520+1314) *10 =18340.

That is, "slap you to death!" Xixi hahaha ...

9. Congratulations! Has been admitted to the shameless class of toad department of United nations frog university! Please take bus No.514 with a mental illness certificate and get off at Benlu Benjie. Please stand at the school gate and giggle when you sign up!