Do you have any recommendations for funny sketches? I need them urgently. . . .

Qizhi Dingbing Crosstalk Challenge Host A: Qizhi B: Dingbing

A: Who do people watching TV say they want to watch now?

B: Who are you looking at?

A: Mainly depends on the host.

B: Yes, look at the host.

A: Dear viewers and friends, thank you for watching the TV show hosted by me. Please don’t forget my name. I am the famous TV host-Hugua...

B :kindness?

A: My younger brother—Mian Gua. cough!

B: Don’t be fooled.

A: Huh?

B: Please change the channel and watch the swarm of bees TV program I brought to you...

A: swarm of bees? Dear viewers, dear friends, please watch the TV show hosted by me. Whoever watches the TV show hosted by me, I will have dinner with, and you will pay the bill. Wow, it’s so fun.

B: Don’t be fooled, watch the TV show I host for you,

A: Ah,

B: You will get rich.

A: Get rich?

B: Anyone who insists on watching the TV program I host and does not go to the toilet for 100 hours will receive 100 yuan.

A: He plans to suffocate a few to death.

B: Oh, there are prizes for watching.

A: Dear viewers and friends, please watch the celebrity privacy exposure program hosted by Wu Liao, the famous host of our station.

B: Hey, I haven’t watched this show. What is it about?

A: On this beautiful night, I will lead you into the bedrooms of celebrities, see how cool Ren Xianqi’s sleeping portrait is, ask Maggie Cheung whether she sleeps under a quilt, and listen to Chow Yun-fat Whether you snore or not, check what brand of underwear Li Ming is wearing. Thank you, thank you.

B: It’s all gossip.

A: The main news tonight is that the illegitimate son of famous comedian Chen Guangchao is preparing to recognize his father on the spot. Thank you, thank you.

B: This is a rumor. I have never done such an immoral thing in my life.

A: After verification, Chen Guangchao believed that the age of his illegitimate child was wrong.

B: How old is the illegitimate child?

A: 59 years old.

B: That’s the illegitimate father.

A: Next...

B: The above information is not reliable. He will be the defendant in a lawsuit. If you want to hear more exciting news, please lock our channel.

A: What channel is yours?

B: Yifengfeng TV station.

A: Follow the booing.

B: I have what you have, let’s see who has higher ratings. We are also exposing the privacy of celebrities. The main news of this program is that the famous crosstalk actor Li Yunhai hosted a crosstalk training class.

A: What about me?

B: The whole class Only one student was recruited.

A: I have high requirements.

B: She is a 28-year-old widow.

A: She is the only one who meets the conditions.

B: What is a sufficient condition? It is not to buy two kilograms of grapes every day because someone is young and beautiful and no one cares about them, and then makes them vomit after eating them.

A: He doesn’t understand. That’s our basic crosstalk skill of tongue twisting: eating grapes without spitting out the grape skins. snort!

B: Don’t tell me, the teaching results after half a year are very significant

A: The little widow can speak cross talk.

B: The little widow is pregnant. I just gave birth to a baby yesterday, hahaha. I ran to the hospital to take a look. Who do you think the baby looked like?

A: Like me?

B: You see he admitted it, right? I said the child was born a freak.

A: Is it a freak?

B: Normally, one hand grows on one side. How many hands do you think the child has on his right side?

A: Three hands

B: You see he understands everything.

A: What do you know about this? Let me tell you, that 28-year-old is my lover. Let me tell you, don’t let our family’s affairs come to light here.

B: Don’t worry, our ratings are high anyway.

A: Dear viewers and friends, please watch the sports program hosted by Li Tiezui, the famous host of our station.

B: Li Tiezui? How powerful is his mouth?

A: (Big tongue) Audience friends, audience friends, we are now in **Osaka, broadcasting to you the live broadcast of the Asian group match of the World Cup between China and Kazakhstan. Thank you, thank you

B: Where is the Chinese team?

A: Kazakhstan team.

B: Your tongue is cramping

A: First, the Kazakhstan team entered the frontcourt, good ball, a long pass, passed to No. 18, No. 18 passed No. 14, No. 14 passed to No. 4, No. 4 passed to No. 10, No. 10 passed to No. 14, No. 14 passed to No. 4, No. 4, No. 14.... Four is four, ten is ten, forty is forty, fourteen is fourteen, ten~~four~`

B: Are you going to have a convulsion? Where is the ball?

A: The ball can’t be found. No, a cold shot, the ball flew towards the Chinese goal.

B: Take it!

A: Yes, take it. The Chinese goalkeeper made a diving leap and gently took the ball into his arms. Good ball. Now the football is at the feet of the Chinese team.

B: Okay.

A: Li Weifeng made a great pass and passed the ball to Li Tie. Li Tie made another wonderful pass to Sun Jihai. Sun Jihai swayed left and right, passed two defenders, and then passed It was an empty goal,

B: Shot,

A: At this critical moment, Sun Jihai thought of his grandfather.

B: Why does he miss grandpa at this time?

A: Because Sun Jihai’s grandfather was the captain of the railway guerrillas.

B: Wait, wait, tell me clearly, what does his grandfather do?

A: Captain of the railway guerrillas. He couldn't hear you clearly when you spoke so clearly. It's true. This man has big ears.

B: Don’t get me wrong, I know him better. Maybe you didn’t hear clearly. He said that Sun Jihai’s grandfather was the captain of the railway guerrillas. You ask him to say it again.

A: The captain of the railway guerrillas. Climbing the train and blowing up the bridge were like a sharp knife thrust into the enemy's heart. Thinking of this, Sun Jihai was filled with strength.

B: Shoot!

A: He thought of his grandfather’s grandfather again. Grandpa Sun Jihai's grandfather was the leader of the Boxer Rebellion.

B: There is a leader of the Boxer Rebellion, listen up

A: Flying over walls and walls, invulnerable to weapons and bullets, killing foreign devils like shit, thinking of this fills me with strength.

B: Shoot!

A: He remembered again

A and B: His grandfather’s grandfather’s grandfather.

B: You can let him shoot first and then think about grandpa.

A: Sun Jihai has thought about all the grandfathers and shoots!

B: The ball was scored.

A: Knowing what will happen next, we will continue to explain after dinner. I was pushed down by such a good host. What happened?

B: It’s so hateful. The host of this kind of show is too low-level.

A: I am humble

B: Audience friends, the high-end program host you have been waiting for has finally appeared in front of you.

A: Where is it?

B: Here. As a high-end program host, my biggest characteristic is that I am good at sensationalism.

A: Sensational show host.

B: As long as I host any program, the audience will want to cry.

A: That’s impossible,

B: Impossible?

A: We can’t cry during our cross talk show.

B: As long as I host it for you, the audience will still cry.

A: Then I don’t believe it. You can host a cross talk show for us.

B: Come on

A: Tonight I will tell you a cross talk. As for this cross talk, it takes ten years to smile.

B: Audience friends,

A: Everyone,

B: The person who is performing cross talk for you at this moment is a famous cross talk artist in my country,

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A: Host the show for me

B: Li Yunhai, theorist, educator, social activist, and proven proletarian crosstalk warrior.

A: He is giving me a eulogy. This is

B: Li Yunhai was born into poverty.

A: I'm talking about cross talk, why do you say I'm poor?

B: The bitterness is great and the hatred is deep,

A: Me?

B: How hard is it? Before he was born, both his parents died.

A: Stop crying, stop crying. My parents died before I was born. Where did I come from?

B: It’s sensational.

A: To be sensational, you have to follow the logic of life?

B: Okay, okay, both his parents passed away not long after he was born.

A: This is more or less a human saying.

B: He has been an orphan since he was a child.

A: He is an orphan again

B: His neighbors raised him with shit and urine.

A: Yes, this was his favorite food when he was a child.

B: Later he changed his career to learn cross talk.

A: He learned cross talk.

B: Finally became a famous cross talk artist!

A: Not easy,

B: His footprints are all over the world

A: Going out

B: Yes Once he performed in France and achieved unprecedented success.

A: He’s in France

B: The French president tried his best to persuade him to stay in France, but Qizhi firmly said, no, I am Chinese. My motherland is in Huda. Hahaha.

A: (Learn to cry)

B: Every time I stir up emotion, someone will cry.

A: I can’t help but cry. What kind of culture do I have? My motherland is in Hunan University.

B: Doesn’t this show that you love your hometown?

A: That’s fine, I’m just making this up.

B: I cried immediately.

A: Dear viewers and friends, please watch the knowledge quiz program hosted by me personally.

B: Then why not watch the knowledge contest I host for you.

A: We have a grand prize of 500,000 yuan.

B: Our 5 million.

A: Friends, Confucius said it well, it is not uncommon for friends to come from far away~~~

B: (stop A's mouth)

A: Who blocked my mouth? Who blocked my mouth?

B: Confucius didn’t make this sentence clear. Please say it again.

A: A friend came from afar, no~~

3 ★[Dialogue] Challenge the host (Qizhi Dingbing)★

B: Is it unfair that you ate too much?

A: How can I feel so unjust?

B: Do you want to listen? There is a friend who came here because he was wronged. A friend came from afar and was illiterate.

A: It depends on you.

B: Just follow me? According to Confucius.

A: Confucius said, it is not surprising that a friend comes from afar

B: Alas

A: Hello.

B: Which friend do you invite to come up and slap you?

A: It is not easy to greet guests when they come, so Confucius said, "It is not easy to greet guests." I haven’t read classical Chinese.

B: How can you host a show of your caliber? ah? How can you be a show host with your level?

A: Isn’t that enough?

B: You should also go and study. Study, don't stand on stage and open your mouth to reveal your uneducated butt.

A: Audiences, audience friends, this host’s buttocks are exposed. You said that he is the host of the show, which is really unbearable for us when we are new and intolerable when we are used to it.

B: Well, you are shameless on stage, do you know that?

A: There are two square formations in today’s audience.

B: We also have two square formations here.

A: The square formation here is wearing a red hat.

B: This is the square formation with the blue hat.

A: These two squares will produce one lucky spectator.

B: There may be a lucky prize.

A: He will get a pure gold cuckold. Thank you, here is a quick answer question to see who can grab it first.

B: What topic?

A: Please answer the author of the drama "Thunderstorm": A. Cao Cao, B. Cao Xueqin, C. Cao Ou. Please answer.

B: You don’t have the right answer here, huh? Still Cao Ou?

A: Wrong, it should be B Cao Xueqin.

B: Bah!

A: Hey, where did it rain? Where is it raining?

B: All children know that this is common sense.

A: Common sense?

B: Did Cao Xueqin write "Thunderstorm"? Cao Xueqin is a literary giant of a generation in China. He wrote one of the four famous works "Shui Xu".

A: Oh, yes, yes, yes.

B: The grade is too low.

A: Audience friends, audience friends, an important correction is that "Shui Xu" was indeed written by Cao Xueqin. Cao Xueqin, a lesbian, had a very difficult time. She had a sterilization and insisted on family planning. She wrote The famous book "Shui Xu" was published.

B: Have you seen "Shui Xu"?

A: Why haven’t I seen it? There is one chapter in "Shui Xu" that is the most wonderful.

B: Which chapter?

A: Call Xiahou Dun to fight Ximen Qing.

B: Xiahou Dun and Ximen Qing fight?

A: Let me teach you. That day, Ximen Qing was walking on the road and ran into Xiahou Dun.

B: That’s a ghost.

A: Xiahou Dun was riding a horse with a gun. When he saw Ximen Qing, he felt angry and shouted, "Hey!" Ximen Qing, stinky gangster. If you tease my wife, I'll beat you to death. Look at the gun! A shot came in the face.

B: No one can blame this. Just blame Ximen Qing, you said you can't tease anyone, you teased Xiahou Dun's wife?

A: He teases every wife, he is a gangster.

B: Well, Xiahou Dun’s wife is more than 500 years older than you, Ximen Qing. What’s the point of teasing her? Really.

A: You don’t understand this, you don’t understand, you don’t understand, you don’t understand, you don’t understand at all. When Ximen Qing saw it, he realized something was wrong and shouted, "Wow!"

B: Did you hear that Ximen Qing shouted this? Haha

A: No, my son, save me!

B: At the critical moment, I still rely on my son.

A: Yes.

B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Ximen Qing seems to have no son.

A: Don’t you know who Ximen Qing’s son is?

B: I read "Shui Xu" to pieces and didn't see that he had a son.

A: I’ve read the book, Ximen Qing’s son!

B: Who is Ximen Qing’s son?

A: Siemens.

B: Oh, let’s learn. Oh, Ximen Qing’s son is Siemens!

A: Alas.

B: Then he has a son, and Xiahou Dun has a daughter.

A: Who is his daughter?

B: Sunsilk

B: Yeah,

A: At this critical moment, what should the Chinese goalkeeper do? catch? Still not answering? Please answer.