Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Space is funnier than funny. If you leave, don't come back. I don't collect garbage.

Space is funnier than funny. If you leave, don't come back. I don't collect garbage.

1, the courier company called me to pick up the courier, and I was excited for a while, because my recipient's name was copied casually in three uncommon words, just to see how embarrassed the courier brother was when he couldn't pronounce my name. However, when I saw a wily uncle sitting in a van, holding a courier in his arms and looking at me with contemptuous eyes, I asked my name and shouted the right delivery. I feel the malice of the world, and I am still too young.

2, it's so hot today, I met a beautiful woman with big breasts on the road, and her breasts were so white that I couldn't help looking at them more. I'm sorry to be found. I thought, I'm a woman, damn it. What am I afraid of? So I watched it again. It looks really good, doesn't it? ...

My son is very naughty. Last night, he wanted to play football anyway, but his wife wouldn't let him, so he insisted on studying. My son opened the door and ran downstairs. My wife grabbed my son's arm with one hand and slapped me with the other. Ho: If you don't study hard in the future, marrying a wife will be as fierce as me! My son looked at my swollen face and silently went back to reading.

My mother said to me: when you go out in the future, don't call me mom, call me sister. Me: Why? Mom smiled: That makes me look so young! Dad came to him and said, to look young, just call grandma.

When my friend was in financial crisis, he came to me to borrow money. He was a little reluctant to see me, so he immediately helped me remember the past. He said: think about it. You are too poor to buy a pair of trousers. Who lent you a skirt?

6. One day I was walking in the street and met a fortune teller, so I decided to hang up. He took my hand and suddenly fell to his knees. I was shocked. He said, you have the image of an emperor. I slapped him in the face: you fucking scared me to death!

7. if I die, my first sentence is: employers and employees finally don't have to be afraid of ghosts!

8. All the daughters-in-law have stabilized, and Lao Tzu is going to start shaking WeChat.

9. Happiness is dead. He married loneliness as a companion, and then he had a child named Memory.

10, the current efforts are all for the cow B.

1 1, the exam is not about falling in love, please don't flirt; The exam is not DOTA, please don't work as a team.

12, get out and don't come back, I'm not a rag collector.

13, let's break up, Mr. Summer vacation. Don't ask me why, because the cruel and overbearing Mr. Xue Kai wants to be nice to me.

14, a person's longest love history is probably narcissism.

15, how I wish there were only two days of classes a week, and then five days of holidays.

16, it rained twice this week, the first time for three days and the second time for four days.

17, I haven't studied for a long time, and I even hesitate to read, even if I am moved.

18, Mochow and Mo Yan are all angry. What should we do? The answer is actually simple: don't worry.

19, countdown to school, hurry up and have fun, go to school to catch up on sleep.

20. Lord Bao said to Zhan Zhao, Look at my face, and then act later. Zhan Zhao: You're fucking kidding!

2 1. Every time we start school, we will say the same thing. I must study hard this semester.

22. I have never been late since I set my alarm clock on edge and got up and rolled around every day.

23. How many children's shoes complain that the winter vacation time is too fast? That's because the school is about to start and the homework has not been finished.

24. Sometimes explanations are unnecessary-enemies don't believe your explanations, and friends don't need your explanations.

25. When the road is rough, shout and move on.

26. Love is not a refuge. If you want to take refuge, you will be kicked out.

27. Angels can fly because they despise themselves.

28. Stupid man+stupid woman = marriage; Stupid man+smart woman = divorce; Smart man+stupid woman = extramarital affairs; Smart man+smart woman = romantic love; we?

29. Because I love you wholeheartedly, I can only give you up mercilessly.

Rats never waste time at night, but we humans waste one-third of our time every day.

3 1, where can I find such a good person, worthy of my Qingming youth.

32, life is like toilet paper, nothing to talk as little as possible.

33. Go your own way, go your own way, and ignore the waste pointing at you behind your back!

34. It is said that once I went to an evening show with some buddies, because I went too early, and my buddies just sat there waiting. A buddy suddenly said, wow, there is Wi-Fi, so connect it quickly. Suddenly, a buddy appeared in the corner, holding the old-fashioned straight-line mobile phone and could only make a phone call. He said in surprise, really? Where is Wi-Fi? How to get it? Help me quickly. The other buddy said with a black line on his face: This Nima mobile phone is too high. You'd better play in the corner.

35. Women like men who feel safe; Men are often attracted to insecure women.

36. When going out, please remember: Be sure to return Niu B to Niu!

37. When I heard that you were trafficked, I was really scared. Although you grew up with dementia, it is harmless to society. Who is so bold as to dare to sell you? I'm worried about him. It's strange to sell it!

38. There is a teacher sitting in a chair listening to a junior teacher. Teachers guide students to practice oral English by looking at pictures. Teacher's guidance: students, look carefully. What's sitting on the chair? The students said in unison: Bear! The teacher stood up angrily for class. At this time, the teacher immediately led the team: So, what is standing? Student: Donkey! The teacher left in a hurry. 23. When the oath becomes a test, feelings are only a deduction.

39. The second place is Pentium, the third is Microsoft, the fourth is Panasonic, and the fifth is Lenovo.

40. You say you are my friend, but in fact I know that animals' friends are really people.

I don't collect junk, so don't come back after I leave.

First, I don't collect junk, so don't come back when I'm gone.

Second, miss, my proud figure is called natural beauty.

Third, you are scum, and you will never be a schoolmaster.

Fourth, don't judge me lightly. You only know my name, but you don't know my story

Without you, the earth revolves and rotates like the earth. Every morning, when we get up and look up, the sun still rises in the sky.

Sixth, instead of praying for a plain life, pray for yourself to be stronger.

Seven, shine a fart, Lao tze not a candle!

Eight, boredom is a person's feelings for the plate after eating the food on the plate.

I want you to be the happiest man and let you know that it is not wrong to choose me.

Ten, don't take my heart as a bargaining chip.

Eleven, I must live like a man, or I will be embarrassed to see jokes behind my back.

12. Softness is like a knife. Give it to others to stab yourself.

Thirteen, don't praise your sister for her beauty, she believes your mouth.

Fourteen, the long road of life, there will always be a few steps wrong.

Fifteen, I learned not to provoke others, but it doesn't mean that I was trampled on.

Sixteen, I can't tolerate a grain of sand in my eye, and I can't tolerate you.

Don't look at me from your perspective. I'm afraid you can't understand.

Eighteen, love or hate, don't give me a fucking pity!

I hold hands with you, and you can only love me in this life.

Don't go with the flow, but lead the trend.

There is no word failure in my dictionary.

22. No matter how beautiful a man is, he is still a waste without ability.

Twenty-three, the most uncomfortable thing is to listen to the person you like talk about the person you like and pretend not to care.

I want to give you all the meaning, but I'm sorry I won't love someone twice at the same time.

25. I have an emotional cleanliness. If I can't have it alone, I won't.

26. Tucao is used to count money, not to make sense.

Twenty-seven, don't believe others speak ill of your friend, if you believe, what kind of friend are you!

After you left, I collected your news everywhere like a scavenger.

Twenty-nine, a good woman is a school, and a good man can stay and teach after graduation.

Thirty, I am willing to be a great scholar, I am not afraid of arts and sciences.

Thirty-one, don't praise your sister for her beauty, she believes your mouth.

Come to me if you can, or get out if you can't.

33. I loved you so much and thought about the future.

Thirty-four, failure, this word is not in my dictionary.

35. I have my own style, which you can't afford to imitate.

I do everything by myself, so I don't need your respect.

Thirty-seven, if something happens, my sister is short. Who cares?

38. Never fall in love because of loneliness.

A woman's greatest pride is not how good-looking she looks, but how much her boyfriend loves her!

Forty, loneliness is not closed, and pain is not self-pity, which is the dazzling character of beauty.

If you want to leave, please never come back. Girls talk about their feelings.

First, when we were young, we gave up and thought it was just a relationship. Later we learned that it was actually a lifetime.

Second, don't rely too much on a person, because of dependence, so expect; Disappointed because of expectation.

Third, I am nostalgic, because I can't see you and the future.

I have always chosen to be strong, but I have forgotten that no matter how strong I am, I need a shoulder.

Five, after the pain, you will not feel pain, and some will only be a cold heart.

6. The fish took the bait because it fell in love with the fisherman, and it was willing to make the fisherman smile with its life.

Seven, some things turn for a lifetime.

Eight, want to cry, but don't know how to cry.

Nine, sometimes, caring too much is also a kind of torture for yourself.

How far is it forever? I can't see my tears! Give me a glass of water to make me forget who I am. ......

The last thing I should do is to fall in love with you when I don't know how to love.

I was still waiting for you, but you forgot that you had been here.

Thirteen, leave, please never come back.

Don't use my kindness to you to make trouble for me.

Fifteen, I am used to being uncomfortable, I am used to missing you, I am used to waiting for you, but I am never used to not seeing you.

Sixteen, whose loneliness covers my Chinese style, whose Chinese style covers my shoulders.

Seventeen, the weak who are not understood should always be strong.

Eighteen, is there a person who makes you red-eyed, but you still smile and forgive?

19. Cry, laugh and watch yourself make trouble//

Twenty, helplessness makes me breathless ... I really want to escape and escape to another world. ...

Twenty-one, the price of growth is to use the increasingly scarce laughter for layers of hard shells to use in this complex world and arm yourself well.

Twenty-two, I am fine, I don't make noise, I don't show off, I don't feel wronged, I don't laugh, and I don't need others to know.

The key can't be opened because it doesn't match.

Twenty-four, hot and cold days, hot and cold people.

Missing you can make me laugh and cry.

Twenty-six, the air soaked by rain is tired and sad, and the fairy tales in memory have slowly melted.

Twenty-seven, nothing can pass, but I can't go back.

I am not great enough to share a you with another woman.

Twenty-nine, I was crazy, stupid, persistent, persistent, I loved, and finally I lived alone.

Maybe the price of going too far is loneliness.

Thirty-one, I put down my dignity, personality and stubbornness because I can't let you go.

Thirty-two, I can go back to the past, but I can't go back to the beginning. What will eventually get you into it is always beautiful at first.

Thirty-three, that year, cardamom, who promised to die.

Thirty-four, vent those emotions that have nowhere to put. People who yearn for the sky are lonely.

Thirty-five, I can't bear the fleeting time, but I can't escape the teenagers here.

36. Good people are jealous and bad people are looked down upon.

37. I especially sympathize with those who pretend to laugh when they clearly want to cry.

Thirty-eight, the day you left, I decided not to shed tears, propped up my eyes against the wind and tried not to blink.

I won everyone and lost you.

Forty, I thought how much you can't live without me, but that's all.

Girls talk about their feelings: If you want to leave, please, never come back.

First, when we were young, we gave up and thought it was just a relationship. Later we learned that it was actually a lifetime.

Second, don't rely too much on a person, because of dependence, so expect; Disappointed because of expectation.

Third, I am nostalgic, because I can't see you and the future.

I have always chosen to be strong, but I have forgotten that no matter how strong I am, I need a shoulder.

Five, after the pain, you will not feel pain, and some will only be a cold heart.

6. The fish took the bait because it fell in love with the fisherman, and it was willing to make the fisherman smile with its life.

Seven, some things turn for a lifetime.

Eight, want to cry, but don't know how to cry.

Nine, sometimes, caring too much is also a kind of torture for yourself.

How far is it forever? I can't see my tears! Give me a glass of water to make me forget who I am. ......

The last thing I should do is to fall in love with you when I don't know how to love.

I was still waiting for you, but you forgot that you had been here.

Thirteen, leave, please never come back.

Don't use my kindness to you to make trouble for me.

Fifteen, I am used to being uncomfortable, I am used to missing you, I am used to waiting for you, but I am never used to not seeing you.

Sixteen, whose loneliness covers my Chinese style, whose Chinese style covers my shoulders.

Seventeen, the weak who are not understood should always be strong.

Eighteen, is there a person who makes you red-eyed, but you still smile and forgive?

19. Cry, laugh and watch yourself make trouble//

Twenty, helplessness makes me breathless ... I really want to escape and escape to another world. ...

Twenty-one, the price of growth is to use the increasingly scarce laughter for layers of hard shells to use in this complex world and arm yourself well.

Twenty-two, I am fine, I don't make noise, I don't show off, I don't feel wronged, I don't laugh, and I don't need others to know.

The key can't be opened because it doesn't match.

Twenty-four, hot and cold days, hot and cold people.

Missing you can make me laugh and cry.

Twenty-six, the air soaked by rain is tired and sad, and the fairy tales in memory have slowly melted.

Twenty-seven, nothing can pass, but I can't go back.

I am not great enough to share a you with another woman.

Twenty-nine, I was crazy, stupid, persistent, persistent, I loved, and finally I lived alone.

Maybe the price of going too far is loneliness.

Thirty-one, I put down my dignity, personality and stubbornness because I can't let you go.

Thirty-two, I can go back to the past, but I can't go back to the beginning. What will eventually get you into it is always beautiful at first.

Thirty-three, that year, cardamom, who promised to die.

Thirty-four, vent those emotions that have nowhere to put. People who yearn for the sky are lonely.

Thirty-five, I can't bear the fleeting time, but I can't escape the teenagers here.

36. Good people are jealous and bad people are looked down upon.

37. I especially sympathize with those who pretend to laugh when they clearly want to cry.

Thirty-eight, the day you left, I decided not to shed tears, propped up my eyes against the wind and tried not to blink.

I won everyone and lost you.

Forty, I thought how much you can't live without me, but that's all.