Jokes seeking English misunderstanding

Six misunderstandings of English jokes

Text/sing over mountains

I don't know English, and all my English jokes are written from memory. How to pronounce depends on what I hear. Of course, people who can speak English will naturally understand, and those who can't speak will relax with a smile according to Chinese pronunciation:

First, what a big fat belly.

You can pronounce "Du Hao has a degree" in English. A fat man walks in the park and recites English words every morning. One day, when he was practicing English words, he saw someone he knew coming face to face, so he greeted him and said in English, "DuDu is good!" " "The other party patted his belly and said," Yes, what a big fat belly, and your fat belly is not small! " "

Second, you are the only one.

In the waiting room, a girl is reading an English book while walking. Suddenly, she stepped on the foot of a middle-aged woman and quickly said sorry in English: "It's a little sharp!" " "The other party stood up and said," how rude! Don't say you're sorry if you step on someone, but also make people laugh! "

Three. Accelerated business collection and delivery system (adopted by the United States post office)

In the self-study class of a training class, a gay female student asked, "How do you spell?" The schoolgirl glared at him and waved and said, "Tick-tock, tick-tock!" ) "The male classmate looked blank and said to himself as he walked back to his seat:" ABCD, no, there is no such spelling. "Laugh back and forth, laugh around!

Fourth, swearing is an animal.

A worker found out the reimbursement, and the cashier insisted that he ask the leader to sign for reimbursement. After a stalemate for a while, the worker who came to reimburse took out his cigarette and said, "Do you have a cigarette?" The cashier didn't look up and said, "Bulk oil (thank you)!" The worker said, "Don't give it to the newspaper. Give it to you, and you call it a beast! " "

5. Brother wants to touch you.

Male colleagues go to work in the morning, raise their hands to greet their female colleagues and say, "Good morning!" " The female colleague suddenly took a step back, pointed to the male colleague and said loudly, "You are a big danger! "Hearing this, the other colleagues asked what was going on. The female colleague said, "He reached out and said to me,' I guess (dialect: forced) to touch you'". An old comrade in the office next door didn't hear clearly, so he said to others, "I can't believe XX looks very gentle. He even told his female colleague that his brother wanted to touch you! "

6. Don't speak English to me.

A blogger left a message: "Sing it to the opposite person." I left a message on her blog: "Don't speak English to me, it's no use talking, I don't understand!" " "Look back at the letters in the message and read the original pinyin of the party together. Boyou replied to me again: "Ha ha ha ha ha! "