Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Provide a small rebuttal

Provide a small rebuttal

I don't know if what you said is irony or a sentence that can be read both positively and negatively, such as "Shanghai tap water comes from water" Let's talk about irony:

Irony is also called irony, which means to express the original intention with words that are opposite to the original text. The function of irony is to produce a sense of humor and irony, which is sometimes more powerful than telling the truth.

Example:

1. Three women tossed and turned leisurely in the bullets invented by civilized people. What a thrilling greatness!

2. The Secretary for Education said that it is a kind of courage to transfer teachers who do not meet the language standards to library directors.

Mr almost is really a virtuous man.

Attachment: satirical story:

1. A love horse in Chu Zhuangwang died. He was very sad and ordered the doctor's courtesy burial of the senior coffin. It is of no help for civilian military commanders to dissuade them. Finally, Chu Zhuangwang made up his mind to say, "Whoever dares to dissuade him again must kill him."

Obviously, no matter how you change your face, as long as you say "no", it must bring shame to yourself. Knowing this, Youmeng went straight into the palace gate and began to cry, which made Zhuanggong very puzzled and couldn't wait to ask what was going on. You Meng said, "That horse is a favorite of the king, but it is too shabby to be buried with the doctor's etiquette. Please use king etiquette! " Zhuang Wang Yue wants to know the reason more and more. You Meng went on to say, "Please carve a coffin with beautiful jade ... Let the envoys of all countries mourn together and offer sacrifices with the highest etiquette." Let the princes of all countries know that the king is humble and Ma Gui. "At this point, Zhuang Wang suddenly realized that he quickly asked YouMeng how to make up for his mistakes. Finally, I paid the horse to the kitchen to cook.

With the humble position of Youmeng, it is of course awe-inspiring if you directly tell the pros and cons, and do a brave deed with awe. However, he said the opposite and saved the day. What he said was not even more shocking.

2. A man in Qi offended Qi Jinggong, and Qi Jinggong was very angry. He ordered the bold man to be tied to his royal highness, and he would gather the warriors around him to dismember him. In order to prevent others from interfering with his murder, he even ordered: "Those who dare to persuade will be beheaded." Seeing that the king was so angry, officials of civil and military affairs dared to ask for their heads to be executed. Seeing that the samurai were going to behead the man and dismember him, Man Zi hurried forward and said, "Let me try the first knife first." Everyone feels very strange: Yan usually never kills himself. What happened today? I saw Yan Zi holding the man's head with his left hand and grinding a knife with his right hand. Suddenly, he turned to Qi Jinggong, who was sitting by, and asked, "In ancient times, wise kings mainly dismembered people. Do you know where to start cutting the knife? " Qi Jinggong quickly left the table and waved and said, "Don't do this, don't do this." Let this man go, it's my fault. "The man has been scared to death. When he recovered from the shock, I couldn't believe that his head was still on his shoulder. He hurriedly kowtowed to Yan Zi three times, and then left with a narrow escape.

A groom killed the old horse that Qi Jinggong once rode. It turned out that the horse was ill and could not be cured for a long time. The groom was afraid of infecting the horse, so he killed the horse. Qi Jinggong was very sad when he found out, so he blamed the groom. In a rage, he personally tried to kill the groom. The groom didn't expect the monarch to commit suicide for a sick old horse, and he was already pale with fear. Seeing this, Ge, who grabbed him at once, said to him, "You killed him too quickly. He didn't know he was guilty when he died. It's not too late for me to ask you to recite his sins for you, and then kill him. " Qi Jinggong said, "All right, I'll let you deal with this bastard."

Yan Zi picked Ge up, walked up to the groom and said to him, "You raised horses for our king, but you killed them. This crime should be put to death. You forced our monarch to kill the horse breeder, because the horse was killed, and this crime should die again. You let our monarch kill the horse breeder because the horse was killed. This incident spread to the neighboring princes and let everyone know that our monarch loved horses but did not love others, and was branded as heartless and unjust. This crime should be killed again. In view of this, I have to kill you. " Yan Zi wanted to say anything more. Qi Jinggong quickly said, "Master, let him go, so as not to give me a bad reputation and make everyone laugh." In this way, the groom was also cleverly saved by Yan Zi.

Liu Che, the wet nurse of Emperor Wu of Han Dynasty, once committed a crime outside the palace. When Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty knew about it, he wanted to deal with her according to law. The wet nurse remembered the eloquent Dong Fangshuo and asked him for help. Dong Fangshuo said to her, "This is not an argument between lips. If you want to be rescued, when you are about to be taken away, you will only look back at Emperor Wu without saying a word. There may be a glimmer of hope. " When the wet nurse was summoned, she deliberately walked up to Emperor Wu and said goodbye to him. Dong Fangshuo was sitting next to him at that time. I saw the wet nurse looking at Emperor Wu of Han Dynasty with a sad face all the time. So, Dong Fangshuo said to the wet nurse, "You are so stupid. Now that the emperor has grown up, where can he feed on your milk? " Emperor Wu recognized the implication of Dong Fangshuo, and his face suddenly showed mournful embarrassment, and immediately pardoned the wet nurse.

5. There is a story in The Spring and Autumn Annals of Yan Zi, saying that candle Zou accidentally released a falcon. The hunter ordered the candle Zou to be beheaded. Yan Zi went to visit Gong Jing and started the following dialogue:

Yan Zi: Zhu Zou has three major crimes. How did he get killed so easily? Please let me count them one by one before killing him, okay?

Gong Jing: Of course.

Yan Zi: (pointing to Zhu Zou's nose) Zhu Zou, you raised birds for the king, but they got away. This is the first crime; You let the king kill for birds, which is the second sin; If I kill you, the world will blame the king for attaching more importance to birds than to humans. This is the third crime.

Yan Zi sarcastically criticized Qi Jinggong for attaching importance to birds rather than people. It not only received the productive effect of criticism, but also did not embarrass the king who claimed to be high.