What should you do if someone gossips about you behind your back? Expert analysis is perfect

Expert 1: People are right and wrong, things are right and wrong, talking about right and wrong, right and wrong are people! There is so much gossip, don't just follow the crowd.

For learning Buddhism and practicing Buddhism, it is also very important to talk less in daily life. Nonsense, empty words, lies, gossip, dirty words, bad words, bad words, and lies can all be summarized as "gossip". Why should we gossip less?

First of all, practitioners must maintain a pure mind. Cultivation means cultivating one's body, speech and mind, and keeping the three karma pure. Speech cultivation is also important. Look at some eminent monks who usually talk very little, and only teach a few words when talking about spiritual practice; when talking about worldly matters and other people, they are almost silent, and they will not rack their brains in order to continue the conversation. racking one's brains and letting distracting thoughts arise in the mind, which goes against the pure mind that a practitioner should maintain.

In addition to keeping our hearts pure, it is also very important to avoid gossiping and protect our verbal karma. Many people chat, and while chatting, they will talk about other people, and then talk about their rights and wrongs, unknowingly creating a bad reputation. Practitioners should pay attention to "protect their verbal karma and do not ridicule others' mistakes" to prevent the little blessings accumulated through hard work from being lost through speech, and to a greater extent, cut off the good causes and good conditions on the path to Bodhi. Moreover, people often say: "Misfortune comes from the mouth." If you gossip less, you can stay away from right and wrong, prevent wrongdoing and prevent evil, and avoid unnecessary trouble and disaster.

There is a saying in Buddhism that "people who are ordinary are silent and their skills are not good", and the Book of Changes also says that "good people are silent". Ordinary people like to gossip because they have too many troubles and habits of greed, anger, stupidity, arrogance, and doubt in their hearts. If they are true practitioners, they will always feel guilty and will cherish their time and spend their energy listening to, preaching, and reading books. , recite the Buddha's name, and worship the Buddha, instead of wasting it on gossiping.

Master Huineng, the Sixth Patriarch, said in the Tan Sutra: "If you are a true Taoist, you will not see the faults of the world." Ordinary people, on the other hand, have a lot of troublesome habits. They will complain when they encounter things they don’t like, and they will want to criticize people when they don’t like them. You can avoid these mistakes by gossiping less, and force yourself to overcome troublesome habits. Slowly you will achieve the goal of "not seeing the faults of others, only seeing your own faults." Gradually, your mind will no longer be distracted by the external environment, and your heart will be naturally More happiness and less worries.

Talking less can improve your sincerity and respect, which is pleasing to Buddhas and Bodhisattvas. It is a manifestation of following the teachings and can receive greater blessings from Buddhas and Bodhisattvas. The more sincerity and respect you have, the more sins will be eliminated, the more blessings and wisdom will be gained, and the more blessings you will receive from Buddhas and Bodhisattvas.

Gude warned us: "Say less and recite Buddha more often. This will kill your thoughts and keep your body alive." Practitioners should gossip less, say more words that are conducive to unity and harmony, say more words of praise for good deeds, say kind words, say compassionate words, and chant more Buddhas and chant sutras, which is conducive to their own practice and accumulation of merits. This is helpful for our study of Buddhism and practice. Very helpful!

Expert 2: I think you don’t need to care too much about others gossiping about you behind your back, because there are only two types of people gossiping about you.

One type is a man who has no ability. A man who has no ability spends all day talking about which woman is behind the scenes, evaluating a woman's dress, evaluating a woman's morals, evaluating a woman's past, and evaluating a woman. When it comes to women's feelings, it goes without saying that a man who has a long mouth and a long tongue like a woman must be the kind of man who has no ability to stay at home all day long!

The second type is jealous of your woman.

Because you are better than her in every aspect, she cannot surpass you, but he is more jealous than anyone else. He will talk about you behind the scenes and make irresponsible remarks to ruin your reputation, and even Sometimes she deliberately makes you look bad, and purposely says some slanderous words in front of you, because she knows that you are just talking about yourself, and you will still care about her words. This is the effect she wants.

So you don’t have to pay too much attention to the people who gossip about you behind your back, because people who are better than you are too lazy to talk to you. Only those who are dissatisfied and defeated will hate you, affect your mood, and harass you. life.

Expert 3: What should you do when someone gossips behind your back? This is indeed a very disturbing thing, which not only affects your mood, but also affects your work efficiency and quality of life. The questioner must want to know how to get rid of the villain's gossip. Then let’s analyze it carefully and try to find a solution.

The type of people who like to gossip

I believe many people have seen some scenes in the movie.

Groups of people gathered together, either in the alleys of their old houses or under the big trees in the countryside, discussing that Zhang San's cow was lost, and Li Si was looking for a mistress in the city... Look carefully, all these are... They are a group of idlers who have nothing to do and talk about others behind their backs. This is idle talk. In addition, people who fail to meet psychological expectations also like to gossip. Such people always feel psychologically unbalanced. As long as they cannot achieve their goals, they turn their dissatisfaction into actions and negative words about others behind their backs, intentionally or unintentionally.

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People who gossip have negative psychology

Jealousy. Such people cannot see others as being better than themselves. When he sees other people making money, he will say that their money is not from the right people; when he sees someone else marrying a beautiful wife, he will say that a beautiful wife cannot support her; when he sees someone getting promoted, he will say that he will climb the ladder The higher he gets, the harder he falls; even when he sees someone else receiving a lot of praise for something, he will add something like a joke and so on. There are always people who look down upon the good things of others, so they try their best to pour cold water on others and say a few harsh words behind their backs. All these are caused by jealousy.

Comparison mentality. This kind of psychology usually occurs between two people who are on the same level and have a competitive relationship. For example, A and B are competing for a certain position. In order to give himself an advantage over the other party, A tries his best to slander B behind his back, and even engages in small tricks, in order to make everyone feel psychologically and harmoniously. It leaves a mark in my mind that B's character and behavior are not good enough, thereby creating momentum for myself. In fact, capable people are busy with their own affairs, while incompetent people will be idle. Only by making yourself stronger can you avoid this kind of comparison mentality.

Contempt. This kind of person looks down on others from the bottom of his heart and always thinks that he is very strong and capable. He acts like a troll all day long, and he won't give up if he doesn't stir things up. It is a constant truth that people who laugh are inferior to others. Have you ever heard of thirty years in Hedong and thirty years in Hexi? Only by being humble can we continue to make progress.

The mentality of heckling. Such people are afraid that the world will not be in chaos. They are happy to see gossip about others at work or in life, and they are good at and like to spread such gossip. They don't like a peaceful life, and they wish that other people's lives would often go into chaos and become a mess, so that they would sit on the other side and watch the fire. Time is precious. Instead of wasting time being a troll here, it is better to spend more time with your family, take care of your children, and read more books to enrich yourself and constantly improve yourself.

Face the gossip with a positive attitude

Mentally despise him. You must have strong psychological endurance and turn a deaf ear to his gossip. As time passed, he became frustrated and stopped.

Crush him at work. The more jealous they are of you, the more they gossip about you behind your back. At this time, you need to break out of the adversity and use your outstanding work performance to give the trolls a loud slap in the face.

Ignore him in your life. Live your life well, have a happy family, well-behaved children, and healthy parents... so that the trolls will have nothing to say.

Expert 4: The taller the tree, the bigger the shadow; the more diligent the person, the more rumors there are.

Putting your hands behind your back, you can talk with ease, without any effort at all.

Not being paid attention to by gossips and rumors indicates laziness or avoidance, idleness or insignificance.

Only useless people and people who have nothing to do can avoid and cater to gossip.

No matter what the motivation of the person who chews on you and your things is, whether it is appreciation or ridicule; whether it is slander or praise; whether it is a bond or a flower, don't care.

Go your own way.

Trees can only grow if they have wind and rain, and people can only have passion if they have an audience.

Don’t get lost in rumors. Use pleasant words as encouragement and unpleasant words as encouragement.

Stick to the goal, even though the goal is insignificant, even though the goal is not worth a cent, even though the goal has become a stop for millions of passers-by. It must be the goal of your ambitions, such as the college entrance examination, such as love, such as the Spring Festival...

Now that the goal has been determined, don't be confused by other people's wine, don't be missed by other people's sweet words, don't be obsessed by other people's Picky and shaken.

Life is not easy. If you follow the crowd, some people will fool you; if you are conscientious, some people will laugh at you; if you are taciturn, some people will look down on you; if you are competitive, some people will challenge you.

Rumors are like a vast ocean, which cannot touch the vast shores and cannot escape the roaring sinking.

Gossip is like sticky mud. If you pick up the mud and wash it out, you will not be clean. Trying to clean it will only make it more filthy.

Walk your own road, there are bumps but perseverance is smooth, there are twists and turns but the ideal is straight, there is mud but the face is glorious, there is wind and snow but the heart is warm.