Xiaoming's classic joke

The name Xiaoming is born with the temperament of a cold joke, so it has become the protagonist name in many jokes. The following is a sample of Xiao Ming's classic jokes, which I compiled for you. I hope you like it.

Xiao Ming's classic joke Daquan 1, Xiao Ming and Xiaohua go to the zoo to play. When he entered the door, Xiao Ming pointed to Xiaohua and said to the doorman, "Look clearly! Come out later, don't say I stole your monkey! "

2. Teacher: If you pursue a China girl, what do you invite her to eat? Xiao Li: Mala Tang. Teacher: What about Korean girls? Xiao Wang: Pickles. Teacher: What about Japanese girls? Xiaoming: Mosaic. Teacher: Get out!

3. In Chinese class, teacher: Xiaoming asked you to do a sentence imitation exercise "If every drop of water can represent a blessing, then I will send you an ocean"!

Xiaoming: If each flower represents a blessing, I will send you a wreath! In an instant, the whole class is sensational! ! !

Teacher: Go, go, go now!

The classmate said that Xiaoming's head looks like a brick. Xiao Ming came home and asked, "Mom, isn't my head like a brick?" Mother didn't want to hurt his self-esteem, so she said, "Go to the well and take pictures yourself."

Xiaoming is standing by the well. The man in the well said, "Above, don't throw bricks into the well!" " "

Xiao Ming: I like you, teacher. Teacher: I don't like children.

Xiaoming: I don't like children either. We cannot have children. Teacher: Get out!

6. Xiao Ming asked: Dad, why are there three golds in Xiao Xin's name next door? Dad: That's because he was short of gold in his life, so he was named Xin. Just like some people are named Miao when they lack water, and some people are named wood when they lack water.

Xiaoming: Dad, what do you think is missing in Guo Jingjing's life?

7. Teacher: Some students are getting proud. Do you remember the story of the race between the tortoise and the hare? Xiao Ming, tell me, why did the rabbit lose to the tortoise? Xiaoming: Because it sleeps.

Teacher: Exactly! What can we do to keep the rabbit awake? Xiaoming: Turn the tortoise into a wolf.

8. Teacher: Yes, Xiaohong-friend-mine-yes, in a word. A classmate: Xiaohong is my friend. Teacher: OK.

Xiaoming: Friend, Xiaohong is mine. Teacher: Get out.

9. In primary school, one day the teacher asked the students: Do you want to be a teacher when you grow up? Xiao Ming is the only person in the class who didn't raise his hand. The teacher woke him up and asked, "Xiao Ming, what do you want to be when you grow up?" Xiao Ming said weakly, "teacher, I want to be the principal!" " The teacher was shocked and said, "What a great idea! Get out! "

10, Teacher: Please be quiet. Let's begin our class. Excuse me, students, who can imitate the sounds of animals?

Xiao Ming: Please be quiet. Let's begin our class. Teacher: Get out! Teacher: "Get out"

1 1, Xiaoming: Teacher, I will never make you angry again.

Teacher: That's a good boy. Sit down and listen to the class. Let's turn to 16. In this class, we will talk about alpacas. Xiaoming: Hey, Mud Horse. Teacher: Keep rolling.

12, Teacher: You have ten sweets, I ate five, how many are left? Xiaoming: Five.

Teacher: How about two more?

Xiaoming: Try another one! Teacher: Get out! !

13, teacher: Xiao Ming, get out. Xiao Ming: Why, I didn't do anything. Teacher: Because I want to ask questions!

14, the political teacher talked about the relationship between money and life on the podium, and finally asked: "If you have money, what do you want to change?" Xiaoming: "If I had money, I would still listen to your nonsense here!" " Teacher: "Get out"

15, teacher: "You finally came! Why didn't you come to class yesterday? " Xiaoming: "Because, because, my mother fell down the stairs."

Teacher: "Oh! I see. Mom was hurt, so you didn't come. " Xiaoming: "No ... My father was injured ..."

Teacher: "Why did your mother fall down the stairs and your father get hurt?" Xiaoming: "Because .. my dad has a woman outside .."

Teacher: "What? .. what does that have to do with your mother falling down the stairs? " Xiao Ming: "Because they were fighting .. My mother had a fall. It's all right. My father was injured by my mother. " Teacher: "Oh ... so you didn't come to class because you took dad to the hospital?" Xiao Ming: "No, that woman outside sent my dad." Teacher: "Then why didn't you come to class?" Xiaoming: "Because I overslept."

Teacher: "What does that have to do with your mother falling down the stairs! ? "Xiao Ming:" No, I ... I just mentioned by the way ... "

16. In the Chinese class, the teacher said: Zhuge Liang knows astronomy above, geography below, is proficient in anecdotes and gossip, and has read countless books.

Xiaoming: Teacher, there is a book that he hasn't read! Teacher: Oh, what kind of book do you think this is? Xiaoming: Romance of the Three Kingdoms!

Teacher: "Xiao Ming, what job do you want to find in the future?" Xiao Ming: "More money and less things are close to home!" " Teacher: "What kind of job is that?" "Xiao Ming:" Put a bowl at the gate of the community, with a monthly income of over 10,000! "teacher:" get out. "

18, Teacher: How long does it take to steam one steamed bun and three steamed buns a minute? Xiao Ming: Nine minutes?

Teacher: You are so stupid! Are steamed buns steamed one by one? !

Xiao Ming expressed dissatisfaction: Then let me ask you, how about eating one steamed bun and ten steamed buns a minute? Teacher: Ten minutes! You think I'm as stupid as you! Xiaoming: Eat ten steamed buns in ten minutes! Hang in there, you idiot! Teacher: Get out.

19, teacher: Xiao Ming, do you have an ideal study? Xiao Ming: Yes.

Teacher: What ideal?

Xiaoming: Drive a BMW to get the minimum living allowance. Teacher:

Teacher: Please make sentences with your heart.

Xiaoming: Falling in love with you today is free all day. Grab the machine! Teacher: Get out.

2 1, Teacher: 108 The hero went to Liangshan, why did he rank second? Xiaoming: Don't rank first. Do you want to go together? Liangshan can't stand it! ! Teacher: Get out! !

22. English teacher: Students, what do you think is the best English word to remember? Xiaoming: wifi.

English teacher: Get out!

Teacher: please use a poem to express the meaning of not working hard when you are young and regretting when you are old? Xiaoming: If young women don't work hard, the second child will be sad. Teacher: ... get out! ....

It was a little hot in the classroom, so the teacher took off his coat during the lecture. Just as the teacher got off the bus halfway, Xiaoming in the back row suddenly shouted "Take off! Grandpa has plenty of money! " The teacher was furious and shouted, get out.

25. In math class, the teacher asked a question: There are eleven students in our class. Now the teacher has brought ten apples. How can we distribute them equally among the students? Xiaohong: Xiao Ming, get out!

26. Teacher: Students, you all know that hairtail is a deep-water fish because it can survive under great pressure. Can I feed it on land? Xiaoming: You can raise a teacher: How to raise Xiaoming: Pressure cooker teacher: Get out.

27. Teacher: In Chinese characters, where there are three water points, there must be water, such as Jiang, He, Hu and Hai Xiaoming: Desert Teacher: Get out!

Xiao Ming: I didn't see water when I rolled! Teacher: Get out, get out!

28. The teacher told Xiaoming to get up in class to answer questions, trying to exercise his courage. Xiaoming said weakly: ... teacher, I ... I can't ... The teacher said: Can't you be a man?

Xiao Ming was very thoughtful ... finally, Xiao Ming struck the table angrily and shouted, "I don't want it!" " "Teacher: Get out.

29. Teacher: Xiaoming, what did you eat for your birthday yesterday?

Xiao Ming took out a toothpick, pulled out a piece of shredded pork from his teeth and put it in front of the teacher. He said that yesterday's food has been digested, and this is noon today. Very fresh. Try Teacher: Get out.

30. Teacher: "Xiao Li and Xiao Ming, tell me about your feelings about the university." Xiaoli: "College life is great." Xiao Ming: "College students can work well."

3 1. The teacher found Xiaoming always talking in class and said angrily, "Xiaoming, if you are dishonest, I will tell your father." Xiao Ming said calmly, "Teacher, I am not satisfied with you either, but I have never told your father." Teacher: Plaid.

Teacher: Xiaoming, what do you think of cheating in the exam?

Xiao Ming: Just like your wife is pregnant with someone else's child, it is technically successful, but you don't advocate this practice. Teacher: That makes sense, but now get out!

33. Xiaoming asked the teacher in class: "Does the teacher call water when it evaporates into the air?" Teacher: "Yes." Xiao Ming asked again, "Is the nose and mouth connected?" Teacher: "Yes, that's right." Xiao Ming: "Is it the same as going to the toilet to drink urine?" Teacher: "You go out!"

Teacher: How does the dog bark? Xiao Ming replied. Xiaoming: Xiaoming, answer the teacher: Get out.

35. Teacher: Yes, Xiaohong. friends. Mine. Yes, in a word. A classmate: Xiaohong is my friend. Teacher: OK.

Xiaoming: Friend, Xiaohong is mine. Teacher: ... escape

36. Teacher: Excuse me, which two words are the saddest? Xiaoming: Sorry for three! Teacher: The usual place.

Xiaoming rolled into the corridor beautifully.

Teacher: Come on, Xiao Ming, tell me how to do this problem. Xiao Ming: Teacher, do you mean to let me stand and talk like a teacher? Teacher: Yes!

Xiaoming: Come on, Xiao Wang, tell me!

Teacher: Get out! Go away! Get out of here!

Teacher: Xiao Ming, please describe the image of a teacher in your mind! Xiaoming: Alas ~ I'd better go out.

Teacher: Come on, Xiao Ming, tell me how to do this problem. Xiao Ming: Teacher, do you mean to let me stand and talk like a teacher? Teacher: Yes!

Xiaoming: Come on, Xiao Wang, tell me! Teacher: Get out! Go away! Get out of here!

39. One day, the teacher held a joke contest in the class, and it was Xiao Ming's turn. Xiao Ming: "Don't laugh."

The whole class stopped for a second and everyone laughed. Teacher: "Haha, get out, haha"

Teacher: Xiaoming, why didn't you come to class these days? Xiaoming: I went to the hospital to see my legs. Teacher: What happened to your leg?

Xiaoming: What is there to see in my leg? I went to see the nurse's leg. Teacher: Get out!

Xiao Ming's classic jokes 1. In class, the teacher is talking about the family gene map. ........

Teacher: If a man has this genetic disease, but he marries a normal woman, what is the probability of their children suffering from this genetic disease? Xiao Ming: It may be zero. Teacher: Why?

Xiaoming: Because there is Lao Wang next door. Teacher: Get out!

2. Teacher: Xiaoming! What kind of TV plays do you usually watch? Xiaoming: costume drama!

Teacher: Oh? Well, tell me about the inspiration that costume drama has given you! Xiaoming: In business, ancient people always do what they want according to customers' hobbies and business models. The real customer is God, so there will be more repeat customers! Teacher: Hmm! That's good. That's good. What exactly is it?

Xiao Ming: Hey hey! Grandpa, please go upstairs! The new girl is very beautiful.

3. Teacher: Describe ugliness in one sentence. Xiao Ming: This face is poor.

Teacher: Good. What if it's very ugly? Xiaoming: It's terrible-_ || Teacher: Old and ugly. Xiaoming: Just like you! Teacher: Get out!

4. One day, the teacher asked Xiaoming, "What is 1 1?" He said, "I don't know." The teacher "asked his family." Xiao Ming came home and asked his mother, "How much is 1 1?" Mother said impatiently, "Get out!"

Xiaoming went to ask his father again. Dad is watching the ball game and just scored a goal. "Cool!" "He went to ask his brother who was in love and said to his girlfriend on the phone," I'll wait for you downstairs. The next day, the teacher asked Xiao Ming, "What is 1?" He said, "Get out of here!" The teacher slapped him. He said, "Cool! "

The teacher said, "Get out!" Xiao Ming said, "I'll wait for you downstairs!" " "

Xiaoming: Teacher, I have a present for you. Teacher: Xiaoming is quite sensible. What gift?

Xiaoming: I bought a watch last year, and today I will give you a clock. Teacher: Get out.

6. Xiaoming: "Teacher, why is Lu Xun's son surnamed Zhou?" Teacher: "Lu Xun is a pseudonym, and my surname is Zhou."

Xiao Ming: "Are you kidding? Zhou Xun is a woman "Teacher:" Go out and stand "

7. Teacher: "Xiao Ming! Xiao Ming, huh? What about Xiao Ming? " MengMeng: "Teacher, Xiaoming is sick today." Teacher: "Oh! Then you will replace him today! " MengMeng: "Teacher! What do you mean? " Teacher: "Get out"

MengMeng: "Xiao Ming, you are hurting me!" " "

8. Teacher: Xiaoming Teacher: Xiaoming Teacher: Xiaoming! What's the matter with you? Do you know the answer or not? At least let me know! Xiao Ming: Zhi ~

9. The teacher announced: "Children, after picking the fruit, we can wash it together. After washing, we can eat it together." All the children went to pick fruit.

As soon as the assembly time came, all the children got together. Teacher: "Xiaohua, what do you have?"

Xiaohua: "I am washing apples because I picked them." Teacher: "What about you, Xiaomei?"

Xiaomei: "I'm washing tomatoes because I picked tomatoes." Teacher: "The children are great! What about Amin? " Xiaoming: "I'm washing cloth shoes because I stepped on shit."

10, Xiaoming didn't get up until eight o'clock. He didn't wash his face and ran to school with his schoolbag on his back. Out of breath, he ran into the classroom, shouted "report", sat in his seat and listened to the geography teacher.

"Xiao Ming, stand up and answer my question," the teacher pointed at the map with a pointer. "What is the equator?" Xiao Ming blushed and replied, "classes start at eight o'clock and don't enter the classroom until after eight o'clock. This is called being late!" " "

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