Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Are there any celebrities who can tell 100 words of stories in one minute and still tell them behind their backs?

Are there any celebrities who can tell 100 words of stories in one minute and still tell them behind their backs?

1. Wang Yanan sleeps on a three-legged bed: When Wang Yanan was a child, he was ambitious and loved reading. When he was in middle school, in order to gain more time to study, he cut off one leg of the wooden bed he slept on by half a foot to make it a three-legged bed. He read late at night every day. When he was tired, he went to bed and took a nap. Then he turned over in a daze and the bed tilted towards the short leg. He was suddenly awakened and immediately got out of bed and sat down at his desk to read at night. This happens every day, without interruption. As a result, he achieved excellent results every year and was known as one of the "Three Heroes" in his class.

2. Wang Yanan tied to a pillar and reading: Wang Yanan, my country's famous Marxist economist and the earliest Chinese translator of "Das Kapital", took a boat to Europe in 1933. The passenger ship was sailing to the Red Sea when suddenly huge waves rolled into the sky and the ship was rocking so hard that people could not stand still. At this time, Wang Yanan, who was wearing glasses and holding a book in his hand, walked into the restaurant and begged the waiter: "Please tie me to this pillar!" The waiter thought he was afraid that he would be thrown into the sea by the waves. Go and tie Wang Yanan firmly to the pillar according to his words. After being tied up, Wang Yanan opened the book and read it attentively. When the foreigners on the boat saw it, they all looked at him in amazement and praised him repeatedly: "Ah! The Chinese are so amazing!"

3. Lu Xun chewed chili peppers to ward off the cold: Mr. Lu Xun studied seriously since he was a child . When he was a boy, he studied at the Jiangnan Naval Academy. He had excellent grades in the first semester, and the school awarded him a gold medal. He immediately took it to the streets of Nanjing's Drum Tower and sold it, then bought a few books and a bunch of red peppers. Whenever it was cold at night and he couldn't bear to read at night, he would pick a chili pepper, put it in his mouth and chew it, which made him sweat on his forehead. He used this method to keep away the cold and insist on studying. As a result of studying hard, he finally became a famous litterateur in our country.

4. Shi Yang rubbed his feet and read at night: Shi Yang, the famous worker leader of the February 7th strike, had a poor family when he was young and could not afford lamp oil. There is an ancient temple called Longxingguan in the village. There is an ever-burning lantern in the temple, and he studies in the ancient temple. Winter is cold and my feet feel uncomfortable with cold. At first, he stood up and stamped his feet from time to time. Later, he felt that it was a waste of time, so he whittled a round wooden stick and placed it under his feet. .

5. Huang Kan mistakenly regarded ink as a side dish: In 1915, the famous scholar Huang Kan gave a lecture on Chinese studies at Peking University. He lived in the Datong Apartment in Baimiao Hutong, Beijing, and devoted himself to the study of "Chinese Studies" all day long. Sometimes he would not go out to eat. He prepared steamed buns, chili, soy sauce and other condiments and placed them on his desk. When he was hungry, he would nibble on the steamed buns and read while eating. I stopped eating, and when I saw the wonderful thing, I shouted: "It's wonderful!" Once, I was fascinated by reading, and I actually put the steamed bun into the ink stone and the cinnabar box. When a friend comes to visit, he laughs loudly, but he doesn’t know why he is laughing at him.

6. Kuang Heng cut through the wall to steal the light. During the Western Han Dynasty, there was a particularly knowledgeable man named Kuang Heng. When Kuang Heng was a child, he came from a poor family. In order to study, he dug through the wall of his illiterate neighbor and read by stealing a ray of candlelight. Finally, he was moved. His neighbors were illiterate, but with everyone's help, little Kuangheng succeeded in his studies. During the reign of Emperor Yuan of the Han Dynasty, Kuang Heng was recommended by the Grand Sima and Chariot General Shi Gao, and Kuang Heng was granted the title of doctor and became a doctor.

7. Che Yin Nang Ying read at night. Che Yin, courtesy name Wuzi, was born in Nanping (today's Gongan City, Hubei Province) in the Jin Dynasty. His family was impoverished since he was a child, but he studied very hard. "My poor family didn't often get oil. In the summer months, I would make a bag to hold dozens of fireflies to illuminate the books. "The story of Che Yin and Nang Yingzhao has been passed down as a good story in history, inspiring generations of scholars in later generations.

8. Has anyone counted how many people’s attention Beckham has attracted on the court? Whenever the world's top star appears on the court, countless screams immediately ring out throughout the stadium, and the camera shutters also flash. Beckham has been playing football since he was 3 years old. Although he was still "playing" more than "practicing" at that time, his father had been training him painstakingly, and his naughty boy gradually established his love for football.

9. Once, Socrates was walking on the street, and someone hit him on the back with a stick. The pain made him unable to stand and he squatted down, but soon he stood up again as if nothing had happened.

Bystanders who witnessed the whole incident saw that he had no reaction and asked him curiously: Why didn't you fight back when you were beaten? Socrates smiled and replied: When a wild donkey kicks you, will you kick it back?

10. When Bernard Shaw was young, he liked to ride bicycles. Once he broke his leg after falling. His female classmate took good care of him. Bernard Shaw was worried that he was weak-willed and would propose to this female classmate. He decided slip. But he accidentally fell from the stairs to the bottom of the stairs and broke both legs. As expected, he asked her if she would marry him. When the female classmate nodded, George Bernard Shaw fainted.

11. A woman said to Maugham: I have been with a man for a long time, but I am not sure whether I have fallen in love with him. This famous writer has a very unique view on the test of love. He said: There is only one way to test whether you really fall in love with him. Are you willing to brush your teeth with his toothbrush?

12. Someone asked Da Zhong Ma said: Why can you enter your old age calmly? He retorted disapprovingly: It took me all my life to survive until today.

13. Fang Xuanling, a famous prime minister in the Tang Dynasty, once fell seriously ill when he was not an official. He said to his wife, Lu: If I die of illness, you should not be a widow but remarry. Mrs. Lu went to the room and dug out one eye to show that she would never change her integrity for the rest of her life. Later, Fang Xuanling recovered from his illness and rose to the position of prime minister. He always respected his wife very much.

14. Female novelist Agatha. Christie's husband is an archaeologist. Once, a friend asked him at a gathering: How would you feel if an imaginative woman like you married a man who played with antiquities? The detective novelist said: An archaeologist is the most ideal husband. If you think about it, the older the thing is, the more he likes it.

15. Voltaire visited Britain in 1727. He found that the British hated the French very much. A group of British shouted at him: Kill him and hang the Frenchman! Voltaire said: English! You want to kill me because I am French. Isn't it enough that I am not punished for not being British? The British laughed loudly and even sent him back to his apartment safely.

16. Chao Pillin can write, direct, and act. He is a rare all-round filmmaker. Once, he held a film shooting meeting, and a fly flew around him in circles. At first he hit it a few times with his hands, but when he didn't hit it, he asked for a fly swatter. While the meeting was going on, he held a fly swatter in his hand, pretending to swat a fly, and looked at the fly fiercely. But I tried three times but couldn't get it. Later, the fly was on the table in front of him. He slowly picked up the fly swatter, and when he was about to strike a fatal blow, he suddenly put down the weapon in his hand and let the fly fly away. The people sitting next to me saw it and said, "Why don't you beat it to death?" The comedian shrugged and said: This one is not the one just now!

17. After Li Bai died, his body was buried at the head of the Caishi River. Poets from all over the world wrote poems on his tomb. Someone wrote a quatrain: When there is bad soil by the Caishi River, Li Bai's poems will be famous throughout the ages; I write two lines about coming and going, and a big ax falls in front of Luban's gate.

18. In his later years, Ouyang Xiu revised the words he had written in his life every day, and he worked very hard. His wife told him not to revise it, saying: Why torture yourself like this? Are you still afraid of being scolded by the teacher? Ouyang Xiu said with a smile: I am not afraid of being scolded by my husband, but I am afraid that future generations will laugh.

19. Lincoln once dreamed that he was attending a rally. As he walked, everyone made way for Lincoln to pass. At this time, among a large group of people, one person whispered: He is just an ordinary-looking person. After hearing this, Lincoln said: Friend, God likes people with ordinary faces, so He gave birth to many people with ordinary faces.

20. American steel magnate Carnegie talked about the secret of his success: I think my greatest advantage is my ability to inspire others' enthusiasm. The best way to get someone to do their best is to appreciate and praise them. Criticism from the boss is the easiest way to destroy confidence in deployment. I have yet to see a person who gets things done better when he is being flattered than when he is being admired.

21. Edwards Edwards, president of Harvard University in the United States, said: I think Harvard can indeed be called a treasure house of knowledge now. But I'm thinking that Harvard can become a treasure trove of knowledge because freshmen bring knowledge, while senior graduates leave school with only a little knowledge.

22. The famous German doctor Kordus once entertained guests. From the standpoint of the host, he had to cut up the roast pig on the table and distribute it to the guests. He first made a straight cut in the roasted pig's breast with a knife, and then made a cross cut in it. Then he chopped up the shiitake mushrooms and other stuffing stuffed into the pig's belly, and pulled them out with a quick and excellent technique. Then he took out a leather case from his pocket, took out the surgical needle and thread from the leather case, and sewed up the cut chest. After sewing, he patted the roasted pig's breast and said to the guests with a smile: As long as you investigate carefully and take good care of him, he will be able to walk on the ground soon.

23. Keklich, a famous professor at Harvard University in the United States, is an authority on Shakespeare. Once when he was teaching a Shakespeare course on the lectern, he accidentally stepped on the air and fell under the lectern. He stood up and said to the students with great momentum: After teaching for forty years, this is the first time that I have fallen to the same level as the audience!

24. Once, an acting competition to imitate Chaplin was held somewhere. There were thirty or forty people participating. Chaplin himself also participated anonymously, but he actually got third place. Chaplin thought this was the biggest joke in his life!

25. There was a female student at Smith Women's University in the United States. Once she came back to the dormitory late because of a date with her boyfriend, so she had to climb in through the window. But the window was too heavy and she couldn't lift it. Suddenly, someone came to help her from the window and whispered to her: Don't let others see. Climbing in, I saw that it was Principal Wilson with a smile on his face.

26. Dr. Johnson, his father runs a big used books stall. Once, there was a show not far away, and everyone went to the market. It was raining that day. His father wanted Dr. John to share some books and transport them to the market place for sale. His father called him three times in succession, asking him to go, but Dr. Johnson was concentrating on reading a thick and large book at this time, and pretended not to hear and ignored him. His father sighed and had to go by himself. At this time, Dr. Johnson was eighteen years old. Fifty years later, at 11 noon one day, the locals saw this fat old man kneeling in the middle of the street. He put his hat under his arm and turned around.

Putting the staff aside, he bowed his head and knelt in the sun, tears streaming down his face. At this time, Dr. Johnson had become famous, and everyone came to see him. He said to everyone: On the same day and at the same time fifty years ago, I disobeyed my father, and now I kneel here to repent!

27. A Parisian bartender said: After a customer drinks two double martinis, I can tell his nationality. The French fall in love, the Spanish dance, the Germans boast, the Italians sing, the Irish fight, and the Americans stand up and speak.

28. Joey Brown traveled to the East during the Pacific War and met General MacArthur. The two took a photo together. The famous star with a wide mouth said: I am lucky to be able to take a photo with you! But General MacArthur said: This photo was taken for my youngest son. He often hopes that his father can take photos with famous people.

29. In his later years, Ouyang Xiu revised the words he had written in his life every day, and he worked very hard. His wife told him not to revise it, saying: Why torture yourself like this? Are you still afraid of being scolded by the teacher? Ouyang Xiu smiled and said: I am not afraid of being scolded by my husband, but I am afraid of being laughed at by future generations.

30. Mark Twain worked in a newspaper when he was young. Six months later, the editor-in-chief told him not to come back tomorrow. Mark Twain asked why? The editor-in-chief said: Because you are too lazy. Mark Twain smiled and replied: It took you six months to find out that I was lazy, but I knew it on the first day I joined the newspaper office.

31. Yang Xiu, a close minister of Cao Cao in the Later Han Dynasty, was very smart at the age of nine. One day, his father Kong Pingping came to visit and he met him. He prepared a treat of bayberries. When Kong Pingping saw it, he jokingly asked: Is this the fruit of your family? Yang Xiu immediately replied: I have never heard that peacocks are your poultry!

32. When Su Shi was the magistrate of Hangzhou in the Song Dynasty, there was a county citizen who made a living by making fans. However, the weather was cold and the fans could not be sold, so they owed taxes. Dongpo asked him to take a fan and draw dead wood, bamboo and stone on it. After drawing more than twenty fans, the county people just walked out of the gate of the county government, and people came to buy them. Therefore, all the taxes owed were paid off.

33. The Italian Renaissance painter Raphael painted a portrait of Mary holding the Son of Jesus. On her lower right is an old man and on the lower left is a maid. But there is a large blank space directly below, and I am thinking about what to fill in. At this time, he saw two children from the window of a nearby bakery. The older one, about four or five years old, was holding his chin, looking up at the sky, talking to his younger brother. The younger one was leaning on his arms, looking at the sky as well. Listening to his brother. Raphael thought they were beautiful, so he drew them at the bottom of the painting, and added wings to make them two angels.

34. Someone asked how Raphael could paint such beautiful works? He replied: I had many dreams, and then I painted around my dreams. Fantasy can make people see invisible things, and will can make invisible things become visible entities.

35. Einstein put forward his views on success in life at a press conference. He expressed it with a mathematical formula: Suppose A represents a person's success, then I can write the following formula A=X+Y+Z, where X represents work and Y represents game. Reporter asked: What does Z stand for? Einstein smiled and replied: Z is to close your mouth.

36. Finnish conductor Boris. Mr. and Mrs. Sebo came to the United States to perform. The house they live in is said to be haunted. One day I was woken up by the ghost's voice. Mrs. Seiber asked her husband to go and have a look, but the conductor said: No, dear, you'd better go. Because you speak English better than me.

37. When Mozart was six years old, he held his first concert at the Royal Palace in Munich, Germany. Because the floor in the palace was slippery, he slipped and fell as soon as he entered the palace gate. At this time, a little princess came over, helped him up, and kissed his hand. Mozart was very grateful and didn't know how to thank him. He said: When I grow up, I must take you as my bride. After everyone heard this, they burst into laughter.

38. In the 1948 U.S. election, President Truman rushed from the White House to his hometown to vote. A group of reporters chased the president to his home, but did not see the president. When he met the president later, a reporter asked him what happened along the way. President Truman replied: There was a police car asking us to stop. It looked like

It seems that an important person is passing through this small town today.

39. Once, a news reporter asked Kennedy: How did you become a hero during World War II? Kennedy replied: They sank my cruiser and I became famous. We know that Kennedy was aboard the DT-O No. 8 boat, which was sunk by the enemy, and he was injured as a result.

40. Socrates’ wife was very fierce. Once, she lost her temper and scolded Socrates. Still angry, she took a large bucket of water and poured it on Socrates. On her head. Socrates scratched his wet hair and laughed: After the thunder, there must be heavy rain. This is a natural law, and it also proves that this is the truth.

41. Newton studied knowledge very attentively. One day, his friends were treating him to dinner. During the dinner, he remembered a bottle of wine at home, so he told his friends to wait a moment while he went home to get the wine. This friend waited and waited, but did not see Newton coming back, so he had to go and see what happened. It turned out that Newton remembered an experiment on his way home. When he got home, he plunged into the laboratory and started doing the experiment, forgetting all about getting wine to entertain his friends. Another time, he was hungry and boiled eggs to eat, but while thinking about the problem, he put the eggs into the pot. When the problem was solved and he wanted to eat the eggs, he opened the lid of the pot and what he picked up was his pocket watch.

42. Sima Guang of the Song Dynasty was born into a family of officials. He has been very resourceful and studious since childhood. He was admitted to Jinshi when he was just twenty years old. He was an honest official and often used time to read in his spare time, determined to write a general chronicle as a reference for people. In order to seize the time to study, he specially made a log pillow. The wonderful function of the pillow is that as long as the body turns over during sleep, it will roll, and the person will wake up and can continue to study knowledge, so it is called "alarm pillow". Whenever Sima Guang needed to rest, he would sleep on a "warning pillow". As a result of such study, he finally became a learned man

43. "Studying Hard in Qu Yuan's Cave"

This story tells that when Qu Yuan was a child, he hid in a cave and read the Book of Songs secretly regardless of the wind, rain, or freezing weather, despite the objections of his elders. After three full years, he read 305 chapters of the Book of Songs, absorbed rich nutrition from these folk songs, and finally became a great poet.

One minute is enough, and it’s not much to memorize.

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